Divorce

[PixieTl]

Just want to send you big hugs and lots of courage prayers. divorce is hard no matter what the reason. my stepkids mother is bi-polor and i'm still undoing the damage after 3 years! And I know i've got several more years ahead of me to get them sorted out!
Get copies of everything, cancel/ remove everything you can that has both of your names on it! make sure that when you leave you take everything that is yours cause you will probably not get a second chance to claim personal items..
Make sure you always talk to your kids and answer their questions, chances are they have some stories of their own to share. if you can, request copies of his medical visits, dr notes, etc. you might be surprised and get them! and do not budge on visitation! that's something my dh wishes he had tightened up during the original proceedings, we are going to have to make adjustments this year, and I know she's going to throw all sorts of fits, but the kids and their safety comes first!
Hang in there, big hugs

 

[terri01p]

 

[nunzia]

No, I had no idea he was bi-polar. It only manifested about 2 yrs ago. I know he tended to depression but it had always been controlled with medication. He lied about many things that I didn't find out till after the marriage.

My parents think he just hid it so well until he couldn't anymore.

Yes, things have gotten very physical. No matter how many times I denied having these affairs, nothing I said would make him believe. I don't think a person can understand how frustrating it is, to be accused and then not believed.

I am so sorry and wish you all the best. My brother is bipolar with paranoid schzophrenia thrown in at times. Since things have gotten physical, I hope you have a restraining order and if possible you may find the need to do a disappearing act. I'm so sorry..we DIS folks aren't much but I know we do care..

 

[Iluvthemouse]

no advice but sending hugs

 

[HS3kids]

Hugs to you, you are doing the right thing.
My advice is to get an emergency custody order of your kids. If there is no legal custody order on record in the courts, he could take off with the kids and you would have no legal recourse, the police cannot help you and it could take a long time for you to get them back. Thats the advice I got from my lawyer 17 years ago. Also my ex had to have a psychological evaluation before he could be (possibly) granted unsupervised visitation (he did not get unsupervised visits after the evaluation thank goodness-he was extremely abusive)
I wish you all the luck, I second a pp's suggestion of Freecycle.com for anything you may need. And definitely the pp's suggestion of getting all copies of financial records etc before you go.
Keep your chin up

 

[MATTERHORN]

I have to second the person that said to stop talking about it on the forums, especially if he knows you are on here. After just going through a nasty divorce (meth use on his part) and having my facebook pages used against me in court (yes, this is allowed!!), I would definitely not talk publicly anywhere that he might have access too!

Good luck, it is a long road, but you will be way better off and much happier even though you might not think it now!

Andrea

 

[lovealatte]

hi- best of luck to you!!

My mom got divorced from my dad with a similar situation when I was 13. We moved out one weekend when he was on a business trip. My father took my mom to court for everything and anything. finally 2 years later, he agreed to stop taking mom to court if she agreed to drop child support. I haven't seen my dad in like 6 years, and as much trouble as it was, it was so worth it. I am so much happier.

You are making the right decision and your kids will be much better off. Good luck.

 

[Mary•Poppins]

Just wanted to give you a . I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Soarin_04]

My mom was bipolar and as is the case with a lot of bipolar people, she only took her meds when she felt she needed to. She made life at home a living h*ll for me as a kid and for my father. Had he done what you're doing and left, I'm convinced it would've been for the best.

Copy everything, get a great lawyer who won't back down, and definitely find a support group or a good therapist for you and the kids.

Best to you.

 

[sookie]

Bumping for OP update!