Divorce Help Please!!!!!

[Tuffcookie]

FireDancer,

That is a good thing to know about!

(My oldest DS is an IT manager too)

TC

 

[sbell111]

Wouldn't think it would be a problem if it was their home computer. You don't need a warrent for your own computer. I'm not talking about placing a keylogger his computer that he has at work. He is probably using their home computer for a lot of his e-mails and she has every right to know what her computer is being used for. No different than being alerted when your teenage goes onto a website that they shouldn't be on.

I bet that most people would have a problem with this statement, if they were the person being spied on.

 

[wvjules]

I bet that most people would have a problem with this statement, if they were the person being spied on.

I have a problem with that statement and I'm not even being spied on. Do I snoop on DD's computer? Absoutely freakin loutely! Do I spy on DBF's? Hell no! He is an adult. Where he goes and what he does is his business. And I trust him so I doubt he'd be doing anything that would be worthy of spying anyway.

 

[Topscot]

I bet that most people would have a problem with this statement, if they were the person being spied on.

I don't know if her husband uses their mutual computer or not for emailing his mistress. However, if he does, I think she has a right to know what is going on. You don't think he's going to show her his emails do you? He is not going to be honest with her, so she needs to find out the information any way she can. It is not spying, it is protecting herself.

 

[DizBelle]

OP - is there an update?

 

[Disney Doll]

I bet that most people would have a problem with this statement, if they were the person being spied on.

Realistically, if one doesn't give their spouse a reason to snoop, then one's spouse shouldn't snoop.

However, discovering infidelity would be a pretty good reason to snoop.

 

[Robinrs]

I think her problems with her DH run deeper than the emails. Holy cow! Married for 35 years and her husband controls money to the point where she doesn’t know where 300K went

Is she ok with this?

I hope she can get a great lawyer.

Good luck to her

Wow, ITA~

 

[TwingleMum]

Thanks everyone. Here is the update:

Dsis and I went to a lawyer. She is entitled to 1/2 of all property (and so is he). She has a 401K with 80k so he would get 1/2. But she would get 1/2 of his pension, bank accounts , houses (NY & FLA) etc. Her kids are 26,29 and 31. So when her creepy DH went to their FLA home she stayed in NY. She told the kids an abbreviated version~ DH was having an affair and changed the passwords on bank account and doesn't allow her access. She felt that she needed to tell them b/c she didn't know what he was going to do with the $$ (give it to GF etc) She was terrified she was going to be abandoned with no money. She also felt the master manipulator would have her painted as a hysterical nut. The kids were stunned and upset of course. But very supportive. One of her DS said he wasn't happy with how her husband has treated her for years. My sister thought she was keeping all her problems with Dh from the kids. Just goes to show you that the kids always know. She served him with divorce papers when he came home a week later. Let me tell you she flipped back and forth from "did I misunderstand those emails?" (me: Yes those 12 emails that were sexually explicit could mean something innocent. NOT!!!!) to he is the biggest @#**.But she has really grown in the last few weeks. As she says she grew balls. She has been standing up for herself. At first he tried to pretend it was an innocent E mail friendship but when she didn't fold he changed. The kids have been really cold to him and he started to blame her but she was great and told him, he was the one who jeopardized their family by having the affair not her. The kids yelled at him to stop lying when he tried to tell them it was just a friendship. My sister never showed them the emails she just hinted that she had really good proof. She told her hubby the kids didn't need to read those disgusting emails but that if he forced her to she would show them. (I don't think she ever would). Her hubby has been bending over backwards to please her but it was only on Monday that he finally admitted to having a physical affair. They also went this week and put her on all the bank accounts. YEAH They have a very long road ahead and I'm not sure where it will lead but my sister has grown soo much and I'm really proud of her. She isn't making decisions out of fear but taking her time and doing whats right for her. I've repeatedly told her I will not tell her what to do ~ divorce, therapy, stay etc.. but I will support her and whatever decision she makes. I don't want her to accuse me in a few years of pushing her into something. She assures me she wouldn't but I'm still not telling her what to do. I hope that whatever happens my sister finds the peace and happiness she deserves. Thanks for all your kindness and help.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

For your sister.

You are doing a great job being supportive and not pushy.