Disneyland with friends

[RanStak65]

Our up coming trip (in 30 days!!) is going to be a little bit different for us. We are traveling with friends. We have three children and they have two, all teenagers except for our nine year old. I'm sure some of you have come with friends or groups before, so what it the best way to handle the "What do you want to do now?" question. When its just us, we already have a pretty good idea of what we want to do next. When others are involved you need to get their feedback as well and make sure that they are able to do and see all they want.
This is our 3rd trip in three years, and their first in about 15 years. The other aspect of this that we have to factor in is that they are very much go with the flow kind of people, and we are a little more of the Planning type ( read:anal!! )
We've already been trying to get them to give us an idea of what they would like to do, where they would like to eat, etc. and they keep telling us to plan whatever we want. I finally went ahead and made dining choices and reservations because they said they trusted my judgement.
I just feel kind of guilty planning everything without them. I don't want it to seem like we are telling them what to do. We were thinking of telling them that we will make a plan of action for days 1 & 3 and that they get to plan dys 2 & 4. Maybe after we've been there one day they will have a better idea of what they want to do.
Anyway, sorry to ramble, but has anyone ever faced this before. We really love them and can't wait to be there with them, but we don't want to it to seem like we are dictating the course of the vacation. Does that make sense?
Any ideas or suggestions? Thanks in advance.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I am a planner, to me its just part of the overall experience. My Disney vacation really starts the day I book it and if thats 11 months out, well then that just gives me and dh tons of times to plan, plan and then plan some more! But not everyone is the same. For all four of our trips when we travelled with family, I got the same response you are getting: "just plan what you want, we trust you". It generally worked out okay, there were a couple of times however one trip when I suggested something and one particular family member didn't want to do that (this was also the trip when we had the most numbers, 12 in all). One time was when crowds at DL were insane and I suggested we go over to DCA which would likely be less crowded. No dice. So we all stayed and suffered in DL. If I had to do this over, I would have just taken my family and my two elderly parents with us and let the others stay at DL. Because staying iin those crowds helped to build up some resentment between various members of the party which caused a couple of them not to be speaking to each other the rest of the day. No fun at all, but at least the next day they had cooled off and it was okay. Still, there is no harm in going separate ways and then meeting back up later for the dinner plans you have already made. I have also found that sometimes even though people will say they are content with your plans, once you are all there, that sentiment can change.

It really sounds like you are good friends and will each be comfortable telling the other if something is not working because you want to do different things. Be sure and discuss that beforehand, that once you are all there, you can always do some splitting up if need be. I also think your idea of letting them plan a couple of days is great. That way they have the option to do so, and if they choose not to by then everyone will be in enough of sync to either plan somethings together or go off separately for a bit.

 

[Danauk]

We do most of our Disney trips with our best friends. DH and I like to ride the thrill rides where as they do not. We always decide what attractions we all want to go on that day, ride those 1st then split up and either meet in the park at a given time to ride a few more favourites together or meet them back at the hotel when we are ready. Then we always have our evening meal together (we discuss this before hand and do make PS.) We always have great fun on our Disney trips.

 

[RanStak65]

Thanks for the great suggestions. I think we may try splitting up during the afternoon, plus the older kids (16 & 17) will probably want to go off by themselves at some point anyway.
We always love to plan everything out to the last detail. That way it seems as though the vacation begins when the planning begins!
Again, thanks for the great ideas!

 

[Zoemakes5]

When we go places with family or friends, I'm typically the person who does the planning. Others don't like or care to do the planning, and I do, so it workks out well. If others aren't planners and/or don't have as much experience, then them planning a day or two may cause trouble between all of you! It may stress them out, you may not like how/what they plan, or if they choose to plan nothing.
A couple of things I do is ask specific questions. Such as, "Do you want to do a character meal? Do you want to do a sit down every day? Would you prefer Italian or Chinese? What kind of budget were you thinking about? Do you want to go back to the room mid-day? Do you want to eat offsite at all? Do you like to arrive early or stay late? How much time were you thinking we'd be together and how much time on your own?" That way, they are a part of the process, but you're still doing the planning. I've also found I have to cut back on the "planned" events when I go with others, as they don't like so much planning, like to wing it and be spontaneous more.
Also, I'd make sure everyone had clear expectations when it comes to what/when/how the teenagers are gong to be dealt with. I've heard that being a huge issue with families traveling together. One's vision is that the teens can go off on their own for most of the day, meeting back for meals only and one wants most of the time with the family together, with just brief (or no) ventures off by themselvesw. One family is okay with the teens hanging out at the pool for an afternoon, and the other is adamantly opposed. Add in your expectations of when/where/how often your 9yo will be included with the teens and when not, and you can have a mess.

 

[RanStak65]

You raise a good point. We have both been a little worried about our 9 year old feeling left out. That is something that we will need to address the first day.

 

[CarrieJacks]

I'm a super duper planner. I think it's half the fun of the vacation, and I think it helps to have at least some sort of schedule. Otherwise you'll ask, "What do you want to do now?" and they'll politely reply, "Whatever you want to do," and because you both won't want to step on any toes you'll end up sounding like the vultures on The Jungle Book, and you'll lose precious time just figuring out what to do next.

I would get everyone's input of the things they want to do on the vacation, make up a schedule your way, and then get their aproval ahead of time. You could even include in the schedule break times or split up times so it doesn't seem like you're controlling every second of their day. And then make it clear ahead of time that if things aren't going to their or your liking, then you can split up for a bit without offending everyone.