What you call "superficial" others call "magical".
This view from our room at the GCH in 2010 (we stayed in nearly the same room in 2011) some might call superficial. I call it inspiring:
View From Our Room 5438 at the GCH
I woke up early and sat out on the balcony in the morniing and watched the sun come up. Very cool.
I am not at all saying you should stay at a DLR hotel. I am saying that dismissing the above view into DCA as "superficial" is a bit like saying that the differences between being on a beach in Hawaii and one in California are superficial. It is why some people are fine staying in a Super 8 motel while others must stay at a Hyatt.
With all that said, 5-10 years ago I was firmly in the camp of "the extra cost for onsite at DLR is not worth it". I looked at how much extra we would pay for hotels and say with that money we could stay an extra day or two at DLR or do a whole separate trip.
I was also firmly against special touches such as Fantasmic Dessert seating. $60 a person for a family of 6? That equated to us one whole extra park day (hotel plus park tix for a day).
What changed? Well, in some way my trips to WDW changed my mind on this. Some of the extras they offer made me look at things differently.
Do we stay at GCH every time now? No, as my signature line shows. But what used to be "not worth it" to me has become "worth it".
It really depends on the person and I totally get it when folks conclude it is not worth to stay onsite. At DLR the offsite hotels are still magical - especially the ones right one Harbor or Katella by DLR. Further away not so much.
So in answer to your question, when you ask about "better offsite hotels" you end up with the same kind of issues. When I say "better" I mean "closer to the DLR gates" not "nicer and more upscale". With my definition the hotels from HoJos to Candy Cane Inn along Harbor are the best choices with HoJos and CCI being a step up in quality and the others, for the most part, being of fine quality. But none will compare that well with the Hiltons, Hyatts, DoubleTrees or Sheratons in quality - but which are all 1+ miles away from DLR.
See "HydroGuy's Hotel Rule"
www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1199862
Have a magical trip!