Disneyed out?

[Starr W.]

My eldest has Asperger's Syndrome and he learned really quick that if he acts up he leaves(it also worked with my typical 6 yr old). We put alot of work into my Aspie(he's 11 now) and he has learned how to behave. He yelled at a younger kid for bumping into him waiting in line for Peter Pan ride. DH made him appologize to the kid, the parents said it wasn't neccesary, but we insisted.

Trust me it still isn't easy and we have spent a ton of money on therapy for social skills and obsessive compulsive behavior. He's made friends at school, hardly goes to the resource room, did great on the state tests(he just gets extra time) and is an A/B student. Off to brief him for the 3rd time today about him being a "good big brother" since his brother starts K tommorrow and they have to ride the bus together.

 

[Sammie]

The problem is a large percentage of today's guests have no manners, and Disney is not willing to step in and enforce things such as the wheelies, line cutting etc.

Unless enough guests begin to complain about the above complaints, only then Disney will make an attempt.

 

[HockeyKat]

Flame suit attached and ready!

My DS is the worst. He is in a stroller at age 4, he cries, screams and throws fits. He does bump his head against things and will fling himself on the floor.

I have the child you all stare at and then stare at me like I am the worst mom in the world. I have seen the "look" and know it all too well. I get it more in Disney than out in town.

My DS has autism. He doesn't understand logical consequences. I have used ABA for over a year. I try to keep him under control. Hands to himself, use quiet voice, don't touch, again, don't touch that ladies bumm. I try, I keep trying and I end up crying at times because more than anything, I want a normal little guy. He will never be normal and I have disney because for a few short days the world just seems to have a bit more magic in it.

If you ever see us, please come up to me and ask if you could help me for a moment. Once a lady helped me carry a tray while pushing DS in his stroller. She found a nice table for me to eat at. She had children of her own and took time to help.

I am sorry, My child is not a brat, all though he seems to be, he is in fact autistic. It is a social and behavior disorder that won't go away no matter how much I may spank my DS. So, He gets a swat now and then but he doesn't even understand why, what or where.

Flame suit fitting well.

April

I am going to start this by admitting that I am childless and honestly don't really like kids very much.

That being said... April, I think that for me there is one MAJOR difference between good parents and bad parents. To me, a bad parent is one that allows their child to behave badly, is completely oblivious to the fact that their child could be bothering someone else, and in fact usually blames anyone BUT their child for anything that happens.

Good parents, like yourself, realize that their child may be disturbing others and do what you can to make that not happen. Obviously you are not to blame and NO parent can keep control of any child 24/7 let alone one with a behavioral disorder, but just by trying and saying sorry sets you apart from the people we are discussing.

I also go to WDW knowing that it is a very overwhelming experience for some children. They are pulled out of their routine and usually forced to stay awake well beyond their normal threshold. So I usually just ignore anything unless I am physically harmed in the process and even then, if the parent gives that OMG I am so sorry look I will of course forgive and move on.

I am so sorry that you have such trials to go through with your little boy. I am glad that he has someone that loves him.

The foreigner thing does occasionally bother me... as well as the one person "saving" a spot in line for 15+ of their family and friends... but in the long run, one person in front of me isn't going to make that much of a difference, and it usually isn't worth my ruining my day to care.

 

[tchrrx]

I hear ya! There are way too many discipline problems around. However, from the kindness of my heart, I will take your DVC points for this next year and go so that you don't have to.

 

[jekjones1558]

Here us one of my most "I can't believe it" comments from a parent whose child was being a brat while waiting in a line:
"Don't those teachers teach you anything!"
Being a teacher myself, I can only shake my head and wonder how we have arrived at the point where parenthood is abrogated to others.

 

[Pooh&Minnie]

...(snip)...April, I think that for me there is one MAJOR difference between good parents and bad parents. To me, a bad parent is one that allows their child to behave badly, is completely oblivious to the fact that their child could be bothering someone else, and in fact usually blames anyone BUT their child for anything that happens.

Good parents, like yourself, realize that their child may be disturbing others and do what you can to make that not happen. Obviously you are not to blame and NO parent can keep control of any child 24/7 let alone one with a behavioral disorder, but just by trying and saying sorry sets you apart from the people we are discussing....

I couldn't have said this better myself. It's exactly what I was thinking after reading this thread.

 

[Entropy]

Here we go again with another hundred "Tsk, tsk, NOWADAYS, parents just don't bother to raise their kids properly!" and "In MY DAY, we raised our kids properly!!" posts.
Geez, everyone get a little perspective. Self-righteous parents have been complaining about how everyone else is rude and obnoxious since the beginning of time but somehow, civilization marches on despite a few ill-raised kids and their oblivious parents.
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.

 

[kikiq]

Here we go again with another hundred "Tsk, tsk, NOWADAYS, parents just don't bother to raise their kids properly!" and "In MY DAY, we raised our kids properly!!" posts.
Geez, everyone get a little perspective. Self-righteous parents have been complaining about how everyone else is rude and obnoxious since the beginning of time but somehow, civilization marches on despite a few ill-raised kids and their oblivious parents.
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.

So you're telling us that if you saw a 5 yr old girl take the cushions off the couch at the Grand Californian Hotel lobby in the DLR and jump on them, that there were children who did that 5, 10, 15 yrs ago and their parents just ignored it then as they did today(or actually Sat)? It is NOT self-righteous or getting a little perspective...maybe it's because I watch young parents allow their children do things that most parents MY AGE wouldn't even deem appropiate. Since the beginning of time? Civilization marches on?

Gosh, I am a fuddy duddy about appropiate behavior AND I insist on it in my classroom...RESPECT and RESPONSIBILITY.

But then, maybe you're a troll and I just took the bait<G>

 

[BWV Dreamin]

Here we go again with another hundred "Tsk, tsk, NOWADAYS, parents just don't bother to raise their kids properly!" and "In MY DAY, we raised our kids properly!!" posts.
Geez, everyone get a little perspective. Self-righteous parents have been complaining about how everyone else is rude and obnoxious since the beginning of time but somehow, civilization marches on despite a few ill-raised kids and their oblivious parents.
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.

And it is just this type of attitude that the non-responsible parents take. No, civilization has not marched on for the good. That is why juvenile homicides are at an all time high. That is why teachers won't stay in the field, because they have to discipline and teach. That is why child abuse is in record proportion to young mothers, parents. No, this attitude goes well beyond the Disney World environment. And so do its repercussions.

 

[tacomaranch]

I just won't allow bad manners or behavior which makes it hard having a DS with autism. I would swat his bottom if he pulled a cushion down. And he does love to go by things and make them move onto the floor. But we hold his hands and if he does connect we make him pick it up off the floor and put it back.

Yes, we are old and this is what my mom said when we were little. I guess we have become our parents after all.

DS went outside and shared his cashews. He came back and showed me the empty bag. I told him how nice he was and asked if they said thank you....nooo mommy! It broke my heart. Oh well, kids, we were all a kid some time ago and this will go on for the ages.

FYI, Disney does offer a GAC for folks with children that have a disorder that would upset other guests. We ask for one so that our child doesn't touch the nice lady's bum. Why???? Why the bum? It helps us and the other guests.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I am not Disneyed out.

As far as children and their behaviors go, I can remember saying to friends that my child would never do such and such, don't their parents have any sense, control...whatever. That was my line before children. I have 2 DS's aged 30 and 33, and in their time, they have done things that I cringe when I remember them. They have had temper tantrums and screamed at me, one of them more so than the other, and they have had moments when I have been so proud of them. Children were born to test limits and quite frankly, sometimes I had to think what the heck am I going to do now...when one acted up. I'm more deliberate, thinker, not quick to act. I try not to judge parents, especially at WDW. I do think that WDW taxes the children/parent and parent/parent relationship more than just about any other place.

I was in college in the '60's and just about every night during the dinner line, some music majors would burst into song! Lots of us would just roll our eyes. I don't like being on a bus with screaming cheerleaders, and I don't like it at all when people are shouting at the pool when I'm trying to sleep, but I don't think the situations are new, and just have to be dealt with.

Peace.

Bobbi

 

[jarestel]

To be honest, I can see the same "problems" you described just about anywhere I go, not just at Disney. (ok, maybe not the brazillian tour groups but pretty much everything else) It's not simply a Disney problem, it's a universal (no pun intended) problem. At the same time, I can certainly understand someone getting a bit tired of visiting the same place year after year. We've been to WDW dozens of times, and though we still enjoy going, it's not the same as it was when we were a bit more "wide-eyed" at everything.

There's nothing wrong with vacationing at non-Disney destinations. Sometimes it can even bring back that ole "wide-eyed wonder" a bit when you return.

Good luck!

 

[kimberh]

We don't allow Line Cutting, now or for the last 25 years. I guess it is up to each one to make up their mind what they will allow at Disney or any other theme parks. It use to be the French, oh my goodness, they would use elbows and work their way through the line. I was so glad when Euro Disney opened!

Most children are the product of their enviroment, that being said, there are some parents that think "their children" do no wrong! I will never understand it. Now, if your child has a condition, then of course, you are not what I am talking about, but there is a high perchantage of children just rotten.

I have raised 3, we just did not have these problems at home or disney. I kept mine in Sports and Church. They are great Adults, now. We still go to Disney together.

I want to add, that a teenager will have teenage years, It is the young child that I am referring to in the above post.

 

[Sammie]

Here we go again with another hundred "Tsk, tsk, NOWADAYS, parents just don't bother to raise their kids properly!" and "In MY DAY, we raised our kids properly!!" posts.
Geez, everyone get a little perspective. Self-righteous parents have been complaining about how everyone else is rude and obnoxious since the beginning of time but somehow, civilization marches on despite a few ill-raised kids and their oblivious parents.
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.

Actually unless you work in a child related business, I seriously doubt you realize how many kids misbehave these days, compared to the past. Sorry but times have changed. And Yes there have always been obnoxious kids and parents but the percentage of them has increased.

Used to be a misbaving kid was the expection, now it is the norm. I went to Disney for years and stood in line to check in without not once getting hit by a flying shoe off the foot of a child. Not this year I got hit two times and no apology from the kid or parent, just a weird look, like, "What do you expect me to do"?

 

[G8RFAN]

To much of anything can get old. Last year we were mixing SW with WDW trips. This year we bought AP's at UA/IOA along with our WDW AP's. Next year we may do a cruise instead. Maybe not the best use of points, but at least it is different.

 

[jerseygirl82]

This past weekend DH and I sat in the Fantasmic arena for an hour and a half waiting to see Fantasmic for the very first time. When the show started, the 8 or 9 year old brazilian girl next to me SHOUTED at the person next to her the entire time. I don't mind talking and excited children, but the fact that she was yelling distracted me from the show. And the fact I kept shooting the adult with her disgusted looks seemed to do nothing for me.

The next night on the way to Coronado from MK at 1AM a child of about 2 proceeded to SCREAM at the top of his lungs. I don't have kids of my own yet but I have very young siblings and I knew this was "everyone look at me and give me attention", not a hungry or tired rant. I didn't blame the child, I blamed the mother for having her child at MK until 1AM. A 2 year old out that late? Is it really necessary? The park had been open since 9am.

DH and I are 25. We joke about bringing a little notebook to Disney with us to take notes on all the parenting skills we hope to avoid (or any tricks we see good parents utilizing!). Definitely when I was little there was NO room for tantrum throwing or bad behavior. If I so much as sat on the ground while waiting on line my parents told me to stand up and chill out. Its just a different generation I guess.

 

[Sammie]

The next night on the way to Coronado from MK at 1AM a child of about 2 proceeded to SCREAM at the top of his lungs.

Here is the first tip you can put in your notebook, 2 year old children should be in bed, way before 1am even at Disney.

When our extended family goes on our trips and we have the young ones with them, we never keep them up more than one hour past their normal bedtimes.

 

[veenstra56]

Unfortunately, either we get used to bad parents/kids or stay home.

My wife will tell you that I am the biggest maniac in the world when it comes to our children behaving properly. I will be the first to admit that I probably over-stress to our kids that they must NEVER be disrespectful to adults, that they should keep their voices down in a restaurant, and that they should always say their 'pleases' and 'thank-yous' wherever they are. The reason I am so anal about this is because I absolutely hate it when kids act like the ones described by the OP, and I think it is a direct reflection of the parents. I always swore that my kids would never be like that.

I wish that more parents would teach their kids to behave properly in public, but to think that it will happen is nuts. It won't happen, and unless we learn to enjoy ourselves in spite of these incidents, we will never be able to enjoy ourselves. I put myself at the top of the list of those who need to ignore these people.

 

[bmtta2003]

Even worse than parents not controlling their children is parents over re-acting to slight indiscretions. I have seen parents make a bigger scene disciplining their children than the original offense warranted.

I would never berate my children. A stern tone in their ear only loud enough for them to hear has always been enough. Of course even the best behaved children can get excited in a place as magical as WDW. A quick apology from the parent and the child has always worked for me.

 

[Mickey Moose]

If you want a good laugh and some different perspective, read this ad, don't miss the 101 questions and responses at the end.