Disney with a baby, feeling defeated

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Update: After discussing with the in-laws the option to move the trip and sneaking in a quick adults only trip for myself and DH, we decided to move forward with May. Our flights were released which led to us adding on another night (staying at BWV) so I am now thinking this leaves room for a full rest day in the middle of the trip. I am hoping this also will alleviate some of the stress. Fingers crossed 14 months will be a better result and if not, well, I might become a regular at the pool bar.

We have traveled to Disney twice now with our baby, first time was July when he was 4 months and second time was December at 9 months. Both times were a a total flop and I spent more time in the room with the baby than enjoying our vacation. In July it was too hot and he hated the stroller. In December we knew he was older, enjoyed the stroller and weather would be better. We also brought grandma to help so felt better prepared. He ended up getting his top 4 front teeth, wouldn't sleep or eat and was just miserable (as were we).

So now our next trip is planned for May, he will be 14 months and I want to cancel. DH does not (he never volunteers to stay back with the baby). We invited my in-laws to come along and have a 1 bedroom at VGF booked. Husband doesn't want to cancel on his parents and is excited that we were able to book VGF (a somewhat difficult to snag reservation) but my DSIL has since gotten engaged and is planning a very fast wedding for March. I think cancelling when my in-laws had less than 90 days to plan and pay for a wedding might be a welcome thing for them. (They would be paying their own airfare and park tickets and usually offer to pay for food since we cover the room).

Any advice? Am I crazy for considering cancelling?

 

[gregskellington]

I'm not a parent, so my opinion here is probably not that useful. But it's always seemed crazy to me to take a small baby to Disney World. Based on what you wrote (and your husband not helping), I'd absolutely be canceling.

 

[cmarsh31]

Some babies are amazing travelers, others are terrible. I had terrible ones. We stopped try after multiple disasters. Waited until the youngest was 3, got easier... by 6 & 9 they were amazing! We had a sweet spot for 5 years and traveled a ton. Now they're teens and hit or miss but they're experienced and totally self-sufficient. They're moody but other than that, well-trained travelers.

 

[LYSE]

We flew across the country and enjoyed our wdw trips at age 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, 1 year etc..

I don't regret any of them, but our expectations were not very high..we always planned to do as much as our daughter would tolerate and that's it, it sounds like you guys may have a hard time with that, and if you can't adjust I would probably cancel or arrange to take turns with the breaks.

 

[stephk1981]

My DS13 was an okay traveler, my DDjust turned 4. We live nearby, but do resort stays every few months
We have been doing this since DD was 5 months old. She is NOT great about being somewhere new overnight. Our days in the parks work well when we go for a few hours and then go home, and have been fine since she was about 11 months. However when we stay at the resorts she still won't sleep. She just does not do well. My DH is not a disney person, but he also doesn't ' babysit ' our kids, so I go knowing what it will be like. If tour DH wants to go, I would either make the deal, that if your child isn't doing well you take turns ( he has a day with kid, then you) before even going. If he doesn't want to compromise, cancel or go into the trip it very well could be EXACTLY as the last two trips were. Good luck, I really hope it works out

 

[Disney.Dreamin.Dee]

Sounds like you need to bring your DH down a notch and tell him what you expect of him. It takes two to tango and he should be sharing the responsibility and not just having fun being care free while you're not enjoying yourself.
Otherwise I'd tell him you go have fun and I'm staying home with our child as its a waste of my time, money, and energy.

 

[robinb]

We have traveled to Disney twice now with our baby, first time was July when he was 4 months and second time was December at 9 months. Both times were a a total flop and I spent more time in the room with the baby than enjoying our vacation. In July it was too hot and he hated the stroller. In December we knew he was older, enjoyed the stroller and weather would be better. We also brought grandma to help so felt better prepared. He ended up getting his top 4 front teeth, wouldn't sleep or eat and was just miserable (as were we).

So now our next trip is planned for May, he will be 14 months and I want to cancel. DH does not (he never volunteers to stay back with the baby). We invited my in-laws to come along and have a 1 bedroom at VGF booked. Husband doesn't want to cancel on his parents and is excited that we were able to book VGF (a somewhat difficult to snag reservation) but my DSIL has since gotten engaged and is planning a very fast wedding for March. I think cancelling when my in-laws had less than 90 days to plan and pay for a wedding might be a welcome thing for them. (They would be paying their own airfare and park tickets and usually offer to pay for food since we cover the room).

Any advice? Am I crazy for considering cancelling?

Do you have other kids? Frankly, the trips with a baby were the easiest ones we had. Then again, I didn't have a particularly fussy baby. My DD travelled to WDW, London and Tokyo all before she was 14 months old.

I have waffled on the advise to give you. On one hand, you've tried twice and struck out. Disney will be there when you're all ready. On the other hand, you've scored a beautiful villa and you're bringing help with you. I think that I'm ending up on the side of going as long as you and your DH have a heart to heart about parenting a fussy baby. I breastfed, so I couldn't just send the baby home with my DH, but if I pumped or my DD was bottle fed I would insist that I would not be the only source of comfort for my baby. If your DH wants to go so much with his family then he'll need to be a dad and you'll need to ask him to do what you want and not just expect him to volunteer.

 

[PepperjackDragon]

Yea need to remove the D I n front of that H for now. If he doesn’t want to cancel he should take over all the baby responsibilities and make clear to him that if he tries to backstab you he will regret it for a long time. If he isn’t the kind of guy to help out, we’ll….let’s assume he is.

my first trip as an adult involved me planning for everyone -something like 13-two double strollers and my dad went in a wheelchair midway. I refuse to go as a large group ever again, and would not ever consider going with an infant or toddler too
young to enjoy it.

 

[Disneylover99]

I’d cancel. It sounds miserable.

I know every family is different, but my youngest was 3 when we first went. And that was perfect for us. I‘d wait a bit if you don’t really have help.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

I did not travel with an infant to WDW, so I'm no help there. You could have any reason and not be crazy for cancelling, but you do have several travellers on this trip with you. What do they want to do? I would chat with the inlaws and see if they would be relieved to have an out or if they would be disappointed. If they really want to go regardless of the surprise wedding, go ahead and enjoy yourselves. If they opt out, I'd definitely have a discussion with DH and let him know that he has to compromise and share equally in caring for your child on this trip, especially if the child is not having a good time. It's not a vacation for you if you feel trapped in the resort with the baby. If he's not willing to take turns with a cranky baby, I'd go ahead and cancel. You're a family of three and it really should work for all of you, not just DH.

 

[butterscotchcollins]

So now our next trip is planned for May, he will be 14 months and I want to cancel. DH does not (he never volunteers to stay back with the baby).

Throw the whole man out. What kind of husband and father doesn’t take care of their kid and leaves everything to the mother??

Idk about whether you should cancel or not but on this point you need to put your foot down. We’re planning on taking our baby once he comes in the summer and I made it clear to my husband that HE will be taking care of the baby while I get to go on all the rides I had to miss out on our past 4 trips while pregnant

 

[Misha72683]

I have 3 kids. My oldest, we could take anywhere. He didn’t go to Disney, but we did vacations sith him. He sat charmingly in high chair at nice restaurants, napped in the stroller and was just a delight.

My second was ok. He was good tempered, but would not nap anywhere that wasn’t his crib or a moving car. He also needed a more set schedule. We took him to Disney at 2.5 and he wasn’t terrible, but he had a few moments. He did stroller nap out of sheer exhaustion.

My third… oh boy. There is a reason there is a 7 year gap between our Disney trips. She did not travel well and was not content to passively sit in Her stroller. We did two trips to GWL with her and it was a lot. She got very overstimulated both times.

 

[dez1978]

Lol, my husband would LOVE if I asked him to take a kid to the room. He's not the disney fan in the house. I remember when ds1 was a baby I kept thinking "I can't wait till he's bigger, this will be sooooo much easier" lololol I was so wrong. Babies are easy. 18 months to 5 was by far the worst for me. We never traveled when the boys were really little bc ds1 hated being in the car more than about 30 min. We started traveling when they were 4&7 and that was ok. Now at 7&10 they are pros. I'd keep trying tho if I were you. Just tell DH what you expect from him upfront and that he needs to step up on the baby front. And while I don't know the situation with his parents, I'd be willing to be they'd be willing to help some as well.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

We flew across the country and enjoyed our wdw trips at age 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, 1 year etc..

I don't regret any of them, but our expectations were not very high..we always planned to do as much as our daughter would tolerate and that's it, it sounds like you guys may have a hard time with that, and if you can't adjust I would probably cancel or arrange to take turns with the breaks.

Oh I we definitely went with low expectations and willing to be extremely flexible but 5 total park hours over a 5 night stay was a disappointment.

Sounds like you need to bring your DH down a notch and tell him what you expect of him. It takes two to tango and he should be sharing the responsibility and not just having fun being care free while you're not enjoying yourself.
Otherwise I'd tell him you go have fun and I'm staying home with our child as its a waste of my time, money, and energy.

Yes I think we just have different ideas of what the baby can tolerate. Definitely need to sort that out if we do this trip.

Do you have other kids? Frankly, the trips with a baby were the easiest ones we had. Then again, I didn't have a particularly fussy baby. My DD travelled to WDW, London and Tokyo all before she was 14 months old.

I have waffled on the advise to give you. On one hand, you've tried twice and struck out. Disney will be there when you're all ready. On the other hand, you've scored a beautiful villa and you're bringing help with you. I think that I'm ending up on the side of going as long as you and your DH have a heart to heart about parenting a fussy baby. I breastfed, so I couldn't just send the baby home with my DH, but if I pumped or my DD was bottle fed I would insist that I would not be the only source of comfort for my baby. If your DH wants to go so much with his family then he'll need to be a dad and you'll need to ask him to do what you want and not just expect him to volunteer.

We have a 6 year old also which is why only one of us stays back with baby. Our baby is very go with the flow at home so I kept thinking this will be better next time. Luckily (I guess) my in-laws are aging up and their tolerance for all the walking and long days in the parks has diminished greatly so they may be perfectly willing to stay back for a day with baby.

I did not travel with an infant to WDW, so I'm no help there. You could have any reason and not be crazy for cancelling, but you do have several travellers on this trip with you. What do they want to do? I would chat with the inlaws and see if they would be relieved to have an out or if they would be disappointed. If they really want to go regardless of the surprise wedding, go ahead and enjoy yourselves. If they opt out, I'd definitely have a discussion with DH and let him know that he has to compromise and share equally in caring for your child on this trip, especially if the child is not having a good time. It's not a vacation for you if you feel trapped in the resort with the baby. If he's not willing to take turns with a cranky baby, I'd go ahead and cancel. You're a family of three and it really should work for all of you, not just DH.

Yes I definitely think I will be talking with DH and the in-laws to see what everyone wants to do. If they want out then this will be the perfect opportunity to express that. We won't do the trip without them so really, I guess it means re-scheduling rather than cancelling.

 

[Lisa_lvspplmvr]

There is a really cute couple that has a little baby that just did a Disney trip vlog . It’s called The Happiest Vlogs on Earth. It really shows what can be done and how to enjoy Disney with a baby . I’m sure 14 months will be easier than when the baby was younger . If you have to go just plan for naps and pool time . I hope everyone helps you and you can enjoy it

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Throw the whole man out. What kind of husband and father doesn’t take care of their kid and leaves everything to the mother??

Idk about whether you should cancel or not but on this point you need to put your foot down. We’re planning on taking our baby once he comes in the summer and I made it clear to my husband that HE will be taking care of the baby while I get to go on all the rides I had to miss out on our past 4 trips while pregnant

Haha! He isn't that bad, he means well I just think he has different ideas of what baby can tolerate. He thinks baby can just be in the stroller and will eventually stop crying but I would rather just make it easier on everyone knowing he will cry a good majority of the time and let him hang out in the room where it was cool (in July). Since I am the only one who thinks the hotel is the best option I am the one who ends up taking him.

And I sympathize! I did the 2 trips prior to that pregnant where I couldn't do the bigger rides. This is probably why I got fed up and booked myself a happy birthday trip next month without the kids.

I have 3 kids. My oldest, we could take anywhere. He didn’t go to Disney, but we did vacations sith him. He sat charmingly in high chair at nice restaurants, napped in the stroller and was just a delight.

My second was ok. He was good tempered, but would not nap anywhere that wasn’t his crib or a moving car. He also needed a more set schedule. We took him to Disney at 2.5 and he wasn’t terrible, but he had a few moments. He did stroller nap out of sheer exhaustion.

My third… oh boy. There is a reason there is a 7 year gap between our Disney trips. She did not travel well and was not content to passively sit in Her stroller. We did two trips to GWL with her and it was a lot. She got very overstimulated both times.

I hope he gets better but this I think is why I am considering cancelling. He may just not be the kid that travels well. Our 6 year old has been going since his 2nd birthday and does amazing every single trip.

 

[Aimeedyan]

We visit often and my now 2 year old is a good traveler but 14-18 months were ROUGH for us at Disney. Why? He was a new walker and wanted to GO. Refused to stay in the stroller. Refused to be held. Refused to go in a baby carrier. Too young to hold hands, too young to understand "stay with us," too young to play games in the line, and ride lines were awful. For those months, we literally only did walk-ons after learning our lesson and leaving countless lines.

His favorite attraction at MK was the hub grass because he could run free!

He was a piece of cake as a baby, and easy peasy once he neared 2, but that young new walker stage was hard.

All that to say, I'd encourage you to take lines into consideration and your child's temperament when it comes to being held/constrained. It was a magical age for us, still, but we had extremely low expectations after awhile and had to be content with riding 1-2 walk-ons and spending time running around the hotel grounds/pool the rest of the time. If your DH isn't willing to tag-team the toddler (ie - you may have to take turns riding things so the other can find a spot for toddler to run), I'd reconsider.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

We visit often and my now 2 year old is a good traveler but 14-18 months were ROUGH for us at Disney. Why? He was a new walker and wanted to GO. Refused to stay in the stroller. Refused to be held. Refused to go in a baby carrier. Too young to hold hands, too young to understand "stay with us," too young to play games in the line, and ride lines were awful. For those months, we literally only did walk-ons after learning our lesson and leaving countless lines.

His favorite attraction at MK was the hub grass because he could run free!

He was a piece of cake as a baby, and easy peasy once he neared 2, but that young new walker stage was hard.

All that to say, I'd encourage you to take lines into consideration and your child's temperament when it comes to being held/constrained. It was a magical age for us, still, but we had extremely low expectations after awhile and had to be content with riding 1-2 walk-ons and spending time running around the hotel grounds/pool the rest of the time. If your DH isn't willing to tag-team the toddler (ie - you may have to take turns riding things so the other can find a spot for toddler to run), I'd reconsider.

You make some good points! I had only briefly thought that when he starts crawling and/or walking it could quite possibly be more difficult. Although I think I would be more content hanging in the hub grass than sitting in the room.

 

[Ensusieasm]

We have traveled to Disney twice now with our baby, first time was July when he was 4 months and second time was December at 9 months. Both times were a a total flop and I spent more time in the room with the baby than enjoying our vacation. In July it was too hot and he hated the stroller. In December we knew he was older, enjoyed the stroller and weather would be better. We also brought grandma to help so felt better prepared. He ended up getting his top 4 front teeth, wouldn't sleep or eat and was just miserable (as were we).

So now our next trip is planned for May, he will be 14 months and I want to cancel. DH does not (he never volunteers to stay back with the baby). We invited my in-laws to come along and have a 1 bedroom at VGF booked. Husband doesn't want to cancel on his parents and is excited that we were able to book VGF (a somewhat difficult to snag reservation) but my DSIL has since gotten engaged and is planning a very fast wedding for March. I think cancelling when my in-laws had less than 90 days to plan and pay for a wedding might be a welcome thing for them. (They would be paying their own airfare and park tickets and usually offer to pay for food since we cover the room).

Any advice? Am I crazy for considering cancelling?

If your husband doesn’t want to cancel, make a deal. Since you‘ve been the one to stay back and care for baby in the past, this trip it will totally be him, not you.
He will be the one to sit out rides as the need arises or stay back in the room.
Every. Single. Time. It’s only fair. Be sure and get him to commit to that deal
before you go on the trip. Then, you have a very good time. Enjoy!

 

[Haley R]

My son is 20 months and we’ve been taking him since he was 12 months but we’re local. I don’t think we would’ve come otherwise. It’s so hard at this age when they wanna just run and the parks are super crowded. He’s not usually content to stay in the stroller but when he walks (runs) he gets in everyone’s way. I would cancel unless your dh agrees to split the time evenly and lower his expectations tremendously. Some mornings we go to a park and our ds is content to pick up rocks We never rush him and always listen to how he’s feeling because I don’t want a massive tantrum. If we get on a ride great, if not that’s okay too. Make sure you know where all of the playgrounds and open spaces are because they will help a lot. Bring tons of snacks, take breaks (our son does not nap in a stroller so we always went back to the room), and tell your dh to be patient