Disney vacation rant

[cheshireqt]

He says he has explained it. SIL, it seems, is one of those people who doesn't like to get anything "on sale". He said she did comment to him that they could save a whole lot of money if they just stay with him...but he says he won't do that. He also says that he isn't contributing one penny to their trip and the most he will do is babysit so they can have a night out.

Honestly, I have just stopped asking questions about it. Makes it harder to let go.

To me the sideshow is your SIL finances and her vacation. The real issue is how your DH is willing to allow her financial situation to impact YOUR family's finances - evidenced by your statement that he has lent $, which were never repaid; he is going on vacation with SIL and her daughter, instead of you and DS; paying storage fees; saving $ for niece's college. I really don't understand why your DH would go on vacation with SIL and niece but not with your son? Something is very fishy about that. I know you said that your summer vacation did not match up with his time off, but surely there is another time where he could at least take your son (his son?. Given your current marital state (separated but reconciling) I can see why you would not go on vacation together just yet but why would he go on vacation with someone and stay at DVC (AKL?) and they stay at Poly? The logistics will be quite interesting with that. This is my advice: it seems like you do need to ask DH some more questions. I agree with other PPs that your real issue is how this vacation is going to impact YOUR finances. Is she going to try to stay with him, have him bail her out when her cc does not work and is that going to impact you. I am not trying to be harsh, just want you to know that I have read through all the posts and am concerned that there is more going on here than meets the eye.

 

[Tink-aholic]

To me the sideshow is your SIL finances and her vacation. The real issue is how your DH is willing to allow her financial situation to impact YOUR family's finances - evidenced by your statement that he has lent $, which were never repaid; he is going on vacation with SIL and her daughter, instead of you and DS; paying storage fees; saving $ for niece's college. I really don't understand why your DH would go on vacation with SIL and niece but not with your son? Something is very fishy about that. I know you said that your summer vacation did not match up with his time off, but surely there is another time where he could at least take your son (his son?. Given your current marital state (separated but reconciling) I can see why you would not go on vacation together just yet but why would he go on vacation with someone and stay at DVC (AKL?) and they stay at Poly? The logistics will be quite interesting with that. This is my advice: it seems like you do need to ask DH some more questions. I agree with other PPs that your real issue is how this vacation is going to impact YOUR finances. Is she going to try to stay with him, have him bail her out when her cc does not work and is that going to impact you. I am not trying to be harsh, just want you to know that I have read through all the posts and am concerned that there is more going on here than meets the eye.

Thank you for this. I have been feeling the same way, but didn't know if it was appropriate to feel like this, kwim? I will be bringing this up in our marriage counseling session this week.

My husband had been estranged from his sister for years. SIL abused prescription drugs and neglected her daughter, as well as what I perceive to be financial abuse of their parents. Since he moved out, he has been seeing his sister frequently (she claims to be sober now) and has grown attached to his niece. He says that if he comes down too hard on his sister over this, it will cause a "war" with her and he'll never be able to see his niece again. Compound that with the possibility that our marriage might not work, and he says he doesn't want to be alone. I can understand this.

However, my personal opinion is that once you tolerate this type of thing (and I DO see it as stealing from her original creditors and the state -- and my taxes), then it becomes easier to look away over the next egregious circumstance. This is not just using an expired coupon, here...and I think it is just a small step away from dipping her hand in the cash drawer at the store if the clerk isn't looking. In addition, I believe that people "get away" with things because good people don't take a stand. If you want proof, just look at some of the justifications on this thread.

One of my biggest problems in our marriage has to do with money. While I don't want my husband to be put in a position that he has to choose between me or his sister, I can tell you that I won't be able to be in a room with her again without letting her know how I feel. The only thing I agree with is putting away money for his niece. She won't get a penny from her parents and maybe this fund might be a little bump she needs for college. As other posters have put it, why should the niece be punished for the sins of her parents?

 

[judy21049]

Can you prove it's their car? Can you swear that they did not have a current emergency that forced them temporarily onto public assistance? See that's the problem with sterotyping on face value, you have no idea how some thing is paid for.
Would it have been acceptable to you if they got out of a 20 year old ford escort? Should they have had dirty, ripped up clothes with dirty faces?
Is there some "acceptable" way poor people have to look in order for them to qualify?
What I find absolutely funny (not to mention a bit hypocritical) is that many times we get questions here from people wondering whether or not they should financially help out a family member and the resounding number of responses are always "Let them go on public assistance"

So it seems that we have rules that we like our poor citizens to follow and if they don't fit into this stereotype mold we have, we get mad.

Maybe they are working at a job that does not offer Healthcare. You're in the health care industry so you should know exactly how much it would cost to insure 5 kids. If I lost my job, I would have a lexus which I drive now, but I couldn't afford the cost of Cobra (which for a family of 4, with 1 asthmatic kid could easily run me $700 a month).

I live in a small vacation town, the father is a contracter, I know for sure it is their car. No, the kids do not have dirty faces they are dressed in the best, as is the mom. In our small town where it is a lot of "cash" business, what I am talking about is everywhere here. I am not judgemental but I also do not think that I should pay for somesones kids insurance so that mom can have a new Yukon. I have no problem with people who truly "need"public assistance. I stay at POP Century when I come to WDW because that's what I can afford. I would love to stay at the Poly again as I did when I was married and had tons of money. But now I pay for myself and appreciate that I can do it. This subject is a sore subject with me. Sorry

 

[joliesmom]

Originally Posted by Zydebearsmom
As I stated before I work everyday so yes they are not just your tax dollars but mine also. Oh yeah, I am also a homeowner therfore I pay even more taxes. Should I not be able to own a home since my children are medicaid? What about a late model car? Keep in mind as I stated before I work everyday.

but yet in another thread:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zydebearsmom
Ok, well I was laid off in May so I am receiving uneployement at $748 a month.

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

 

[eliza61]

I live in a small vacation town, the father is a contracter, I know for sure it is their car. No, the kids do not have dirty faces they are dressed in the best, as is the mom. In our small town where it is a lot of "cash" business, what I am talking about is everywhere here. I am not judgemental but I also do not think that I should pay for somesones kids insurance so that mom can have a new Yukon. I have no problem with people who truly "need"public assistance. I stay at POP Century when I come to WDW because that's what I can afford. I would love to stay at the Poly again as I did when I was married and had tons of money. But now I pay for myself and appreciate that I can do it. This subject is a sore subject with me. Sorry

hey no worries. I'm the first to admit we need to clamp down on abuse. I just try to distill a lot of myths that get bounced around. I volunteer with the poor and homeless. statistically fraud is not as rampant as it seems and since the recession many of the folks who require assistance are not what the "media" portrays them as.

 

[SnowWhite607]

Sorry OP I am not going to hijack your thread, this is about you not me so this will be my last response. Ignorance would be you thinking because a person is on any type of goverment assistance that they are not entitled to the "luxeries" of life. So because my children receive medicaid I should live in a run down rental property, no internet service, no car and I guess I should get foodstamps also (which I do not receive). You would be surprised at the people that are on medicaid or other state medical programs. We have a state program here that you can make 50,000 depending on how many is in your household and still have goverment paid insurance or insurance at a very good disounted rate. Look it up it is called PeachCare for kids. So should those people also not be entitled to the "luxeries" for getting free or discounted insurance for their children. My purpose for sharing this was not to debate with anyone on the boards because it is what it is, but I want the OP and I guess you also to know that because you are on medicaid does not mean you are impoverished and cannot afford certain things. Like I said before I am a homeowner and I have been for many years. To the previous poster I do not lie about my income I do not have to. I work for the state and they know how much they pay me every month. If you do your research you will see that many of your state workers are receiving different benefits because of their extremely low wages. I was in the store yesterday and their was an advertisement for WIC that said a family of 6 can make 46,000.00 a year. That woud be a stay at home mother with a working husband, he is a tax payer so does that mean beacuse they are receiving WIC they are poor and should not be able to go to disney? What about when they get thier income tax refund can they still not go then?

Okay that is just plain ignorant. No one said you should get foodstamps or live in a run down shack. We just pointed out that maybe you shouldnt be taking a Disney cruise while the bill for your kids' medical care is footed by the American taxpayers. How about we try not to overreact?

 

[MoniqueU]

This has to be a troll poster doesn't it ? There really can't be people this diabolical out there can there?


My best friend NEEDS medical insurance,she got divorced so was no longer covereed once the divorce was final. She can't work because of medical conditions and her alimony won't cover her rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, no car paryment, utilitiess, food AND the Cobra. She had to cash in some other funds to temporarily pay her Cobra that will eventually end and then she is uninsurable. She actually had to pay taxes on the meager amount she made last year. I can't figure out why? So after this 6 months she has paid for she doesn't know what she is going to do. Also her ex lost his job so her alimony may have completely ended as far as the previous amount. She needs help, no fancy vactions in her future. People like her need help right away and can't get it but someone comes along and cheats the system somehow and can afford a luxury vacation on the taxpayers backs? OMG I can't even imagine.

And also my DH has been out o work without his choosing twice in the last 5 years and never even claimed unemployment but rather took the first available job rather then take a paycheck from the state or feds.

Somoone please tell me this is a troll.

 

[sookie]

Why not?

do it! report their asses!

 

[MoniqueU]

And just for good meassure what does a disney cruise cost for a family of 5? Last i priced them we couldn't afford one and wer make far more then the 50 k a year that zyd's mom or whatever was quoting as the ceiling for aid or medical assistance in their state. Heck we are even trying to figure out how or if we should pay for annual passes to Disneyland for a family of 5 and we make 6 figures. I just have 2 kids in braces, a mortgage, one car payment, a kids tuition and oh yeah that pesky little 700 a month contribution we make to our familys health insurance to take care of first. Silly me I should not be paying for healthcare because hell I have paid taxes and my DH works everyday!

 

[Luvchefmic]

This has to be a troll poster doesn't it ? There really can't be people this diabolical out there can there?


My best friend NEEDS medical insurance,she got divorced so was no longer covereed once the divorce was final. She can't work because of medical conditions and her alimony won't cover her rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, no car paryment, utilitiess, food AND the Cobra. She had to cash in some other funds to temporarily pay her Cobra that will eventually end and then she is uninsurable. She actually had to pay taxes on the meager amount she made last year. I can't figure out why? So after this 6 months she has paid for she doesn't know what she is going to do. Also her ex lost his job so her alimony may have completely ended as far as the previous amount. She needs help, no fancy vactions in her future. People like her need help right away and can't get it but someone comes along and cheats the system somehow and can afford a luxury vacation on the taxpayers backs? OMG I can't even imagine.

And also my DH has been out o work without his choosing twice in the last 5 years and never even claimed unemployment but rather took the first available job rather then take a paycheck from the state or feds.

Somoone please tell me this is a troll.

And just for good meassure what does a disney cruise cost for a family of 5? Last i priced them we couldn't afford one and wer make far more then the 50 k a year that zyd's mom or whatever was quoting as the ceiling for aid or medical assistance in their state. Heck we are even trying to figure out how or if we should pay for annual passes to Disneyland for a family of 5 and we make 6 figures. I just have 2 kids in braces, a mortgage, one car payment, a kids tuition and oh yeah that pesky little 700 a month contribution we make to our familys health insurance to take care of first. Silly me I should not be paying for healthcare because hell I have paid taxes and my DH works everyday!

Apologies to OP: Monique NOT a troll look for her thread for job advice and see why she is infuriating a LOT of people

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

And just for good meassure what does a disney cruise cost for a family of 5? Last i priced them we couldn't afford one and wer make far more then the 50 k a year that zyd's mom or whatever was quoting as the ceiling for aid or medical assistance in their state. Heck we are even trying to figure out how or if we should pay for annual passes to Disneyland for a family of 5 and we make 6 figures. I just have 2 kids in braces, a mortgage, one car payment, a kids tuition and oh yeah that pesky little 700 a month contribution we make to our familys health insurance to take care of first. Silly me I should not be paying for healthcare because hell I have paid taxes and my DH works everyday!

You spund like us (except we don't make 6 figures, but we do make over the $50,000.) Anyway, we have been pricing Disney cruises for years but can't do it for a family of 5, the new ship has small inside rooms for 5 but still they were pricey. We just can't swing it. We too have 1 recently out of braces, on in her second round and one just starting, so right there is our cruise and then some!

 

[Purseval]

So theres my proof I work everyday.

So those 3 months of unemployment checks were what, vacation pay?

I'll give you credit. I actually expected something a lot more blase' like "being a mother is a full-time job" but instead you've literally twisted yourself into a pretzel trying to justify what you've been doing. And we are only talking about Medicaid to subsidize your vacations. You've just finished up your Masters (another gem from the other thread). Did Medicaid subsidize that also?

Normally we have to give examples of people to be our poster children for the entitlement mentality, using aliases because they don't want the light shone on them. It's pretty rare we have a volunteer proudly step forward like you've done. I commend you

 

[Luvchefmic]

[

 

[MoniqueU]

You spund like us (except we don't make 6 figures, but we do make over the $50,000.) Anyway, we have been pricing Disney cruises for years but can't do it for a family of 5, the new ship has small inside rooms for 5 but still they were pricey. We just can't swing it. We too have 1 recently out of braces, on in her second round and one just starting, so right there is our cruise and then some!

Yep see you get me. We live in Southern California so that 6 figures with our housing and commute costs doesn't stetch very far. I wasn't posting that to brag just that you know some of us work our tails to the bone just for the basics. We don't get to take trips like that even when we do pay our bills and our way in society. No not every family does a week at Disney every year. We have had some darn nice vacations (better then disney) in the past as a family but that is not an every year type trip or reality for many americans regardless of their income. Zydes mom is living in flipping fantasy land if she thinks not going is depriving her kids. I have neighbors whos kids have never been to disneyland and we live an hour away. Honestly this thread just floors me, it is worse then the people spending their earned income tax rebate on plasmas. This is a monthly expense that that one poster no longer has to pay that she can use to pay for a disney cruise? Unreal, Someone take my car payment or my kids otho payment and let me bank the savings for a vacation. Ok I better stop now before I get a vacation from the boards.

 

[ohlas]

wow I tell my husband what im doing and going never asked permission. I told him I was taking the kids to disney w/ my parents in 2000 poor baby hates to go with my mother lol, but i asked him if he wanted to go. He did go but told me the night before we where leaving that he was going...

If you love him drop it...

Stop all payments to storage give them 60 days notice to pick it up

Smile that lovely fake smile all woman of grace learn.