Disney Prince for Christmas??

[Pinkee77]

Ah, the classic Venus and Mars situation:

Guy 'fesses up that, yes, he really is that shallow.

Woman says it's not really about that.

Guy says...but I just said that I really, um - okay, sure.

This made me giggle! And I agree completely.

The thing is, most men will "tell on themselves" early on (ie: on the first date). But most women choose not to listen. Somewhere in the back of her mind and, perhaps, even unconsciously she thinks she can change/fix him. Then later on she is disappointed when, in spite of all her nagging, he won't change.

And while it's a very romantic notion to be looking for your best friend, it's not realistic. We are social creatures, and we need various types of relationships. We all have those friends that are fun to hang out with, the one that you go to for advice, and the ones that are great listeners. No one person could possibly fulfill all the roles in your life.

Physical attraction is where is starts but compatability is the most important - common interests and common goals. You have to decide what you are willing to live with and what you can not. So, ladies, if he likes to wear the same pair of socks for a week straight and you don't find that to your liking...move on! Because, in 15 years guess what he'll still be doing?

 

[Tanbellisima]

I just want to find someone that will accept me for me, faults and all. Personally I think distance is never a problem, especially if you truly want to get to know the person. But it has to be wanted on both sides. That's just my take on it.

I want the same. I don't think distance is a problem as long as you work on coming together in the end.

 

[Disneylover1971]

I want the same. I don't think distance is a problem as long as you work on coming together in the end.

Amen to that...That's what weekends are for, and air travel

 

[tlionheart78]

I don't know if this will fit into the current conversation, but I think that I need to clear the air a bit on this by explaining a bit more of myself. Hopefully this will give me some kind of status on here...or something to that effect. But before I do, I just want to first say that I when it comes to first knowing people, I prefer to know more about the good qualities about them and I learn more of the negative traits as I go along. And, I can say that right now, I feel like I'm about to dump a really big negative on here for some reason.

I've been asked before as to what is it that I'm looking for in a possible mate, but the truth is that I really and truly do not know for certain. And it's nothing to do with being shallow, but has everything to do with my social life... i.e. my lack of one. I've explained this before in a separate thread, but when I was a toddler, I was diagnosed as a (high-functioning) autistic. And while I have been told that I am a great listener, the big problems that I often have had in my life is trying to hold my attention (especially in conversations), and reading the emotions of others. I often feel that understanding what others are feeling is the most difficult for me because, I never been able to tell when someone was being serious with me or not, or when someone might be flirting/showing an interest in me or something else. It's because of this that during my school/college years, I have been so withdrawn to others that it was very easy to be an introvert. I have never had any dates (no dances or proms, either) during my school years, I only had one relationship in college, and that never worked out mainly because she and I rushed into this without even getting to know what either of us wanted from each other.

It's because of all this and my dating inexperience that I tend to be very vague in what it is I want not only from a future relationship, but what I want from a girl that might have an interest in me. It's really nice to be on a WDW thread where singles can mix and mingle with each other and I'm happy to be a part of it. But as I've stated before, I'm really into starting friendships and, if anything, I'm hoping that a great relationship will blossom from one of them.

So, with all that explained, I think that the biggest quality that I want to find in a future princess is that she is understanding and is able to live with what I have. My social skills may not be up to snuff, but my own emotions are just the same as the next person.

 

[Pinkee77]

David, you are a sweetheart! And your princess is out there waiting for you, somewhere.

 

[Businessgypsy]

...You are aware though that this way of talking makes the average women compare herself and then feel bad. You know that, right? That alot of men use your techniques and words to actually prey on women's feelings?

I take off for just a couple of hours to ride my bike on the beach, and totally miss the fireworks!

I'll try and catch up: No, I was not aware that being honest makes women feel bad and compare themselves to anything in particular, nor that a lot of men use my techniques to prey on women's feelings. Should I be collecting a royalty?

Hope you're not serious; being bummed out by honesty would make for a pretty unsettling life. I'm not a serial dater and have only been in monogamous, long term relationships. Just completed a year of solitude, and thinking about being half of a couple again. This cynical world of which you speak is not familiar to me. If my communication is not processed and lubricated for maximum efficiency in today's dating world, it's okay. I'm only looking for one, and she'll know where my heart is.

captaindavidhook, Good on 'ya mate! Noble, time proven approach. Very sensible. You'll do famously. Not my way at all.

Prince Naveen? Well, I am from New Orleans. Flattered to be compared to any Disney Character, although Peter Pan or the Mad Hatter seem more fitting.

Seems I stirred something up here. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

An aside: Get down to Southwest Florida if at all possible. 83 today, the manatees and dolphins were out like kids on recess. Kayaked with clients for lunch and biked on the beach at low tide for sunset. Truly wish you could all have been here for this discussion. Much mellowness would result.

 

[MICKEY88]

And while it's a very romantic notion to be looking for your best friend, it's not realistic. We are social creatures, and we need various types of relationships. We all have those friends that are fun to hang out with, the one that you go to for advice, and the ones that are great listeners. No one person could possibly fulfill all the roles in your life.

I respectfully disagree with this, I think it's very realistic to find that person that is our best friend. 1.I've been told by people of all ages that I am fun to hang with, 2. I have many friends that come to me for advice, and 3. I've also been told I'm a great listener

2 and 3 so much so, that I have had people pour out their hearts to me within an hour of meeting them, and then ask me for advice,
not bragging, not trying to sell myself, just telling it like it is.

and I'm certain if there is one person like that, there are many others, male and female,
the problem is, often when people find that person who can be their best friend, they are afraid to risk the friendship by dating..
that said, we still need other friends, for various reasons

 

[Disneylover1971]

Well here's my take on it all. There are two types of friends. Those who will never be romantically involved for one reason or another. And those who will share their dreams, desires, ect and be romantically involved. Sure you can pour your heart out to anyone but I'd prefer it be with the one I love. I want a friend that I can't stand to be without...one I pine for whenever we're apart. Someone that will WANT to call me because she wants to. Or text me because she misses me.

Hope this all makes sense.

 

[DisneyFreak06]

Yes this is true. Thanks for the nice complement as well. The attraction can come from everything about her or his personality. I think eyes and the scent are two things that are greatly underrated imo but hey, that just might be me.

I totally agree. And I think a physical attraction can really dissappear if the personality is not nice. When I was a student, the first day I met a guy, I thought he was really good looking. He had great eyes (I love eyes too). Then I got to know him, and he started getting less and less good looking. Not a terrible guy, just nothing that I was interested in. It can happen. I'd rather be attracted to someone because of who they are than because of what they look like; looks can change a lot more easily than personality.

 

[DisneyFreak06]

Hey DisneyFreak06,

Isn't Prince Edward Island the same island that the Anne of Green Gables Series is based on? I love Anne of Green Gables! The island is so prettu in the spring. How is the weather there today? I'm in Arizona and it is cold here.

Hi! You bet PEI is where Anne was from in the books. I love PEI in all seasons, but I love the heat, which is why I like to go to Florida! (Sometimes even in the summer). It's cold here today, right now it's -5 which is not too bad. I guess that's around 23F according to an internet converter. It's cold enough for me though!

How cold is it in Arizona? I thought that was one of the places that it was usually quite warm...

 

[captaindavidhook]

I totally agree. And I think a physical attraction can really dissappear if the personality is not nice. When I was a student, the first day I met a guy, I thought he was really good looking. He had great eyes (I love eyes too). Then I got to know him, and he started getting less and less good looking. Not a terrible guy, just nothing that I was interested in. It can happen. I'd rather be attracted to someone because of who they are than because of what they look like; looks can change a lot more easily than personality.

I think it helps when two people can share a common bond or the same interest's together. The physical attraction aspect always doesn't materialize as you may want it to. There are other key elements that can keep a relationship working. I tend to think a person who might have a world wind of knowledge and a stimulating mind to boot, can be just as sexy as a hot looking body. Maybe I am naive but to each thier own. Your right in saying looks can change, cause they do. It happens but with some hope and luck; the person who you end up with doesn't change. They remain true to you and themself.

 

[DisneyFreak06]

I think it helps when two people can share a common bond or the same interest's together. The physical attraction aspect always doesn't materialize as you may want it to. There are other key elements that can keep a relationship working. I tend to think a person who might have a world wind of knowledge and a stimulating mind to boot, can be just as sexy as a hot looking body. Maybe I am naive but to each thier own. Your right in saying looks can change, cause they do. It happens but with some hope and luck; the person who you end up with doesn't change. They remain true to you and themself.

I must spend too much time on facebook.... I was looking for the LIKE button!

 

[captaindavidhook]

I must spend too much time on facebook.... I was looking for the LIKE button!

Awwww thank you!!!

 

[Pinkee77]

I respectfully disagree with this, I think it's very realistic to find that person that is our best friend. 1.I've been told by people of all ages that I am fun to hang with, 2. I have many friends that come to me for advice, and 3. I've also been told I'm a great listener

2 and 3 so much so, that I have had people pour out their hearts to me within an hour of meeting them, and then ask me for advice,
not bragging, not trying to sell myself, just telling it like it is.

and I'm certain if there is one person like that, there are many others, male and female,
the problem is, often when people find that person who can be their best friend, they are afraid to risk the friendship by dating..
that said, we still need other friends, for various reasons

It is completely okay for you to disagree with me. You have your opinion, and I have mine. However, I don't think we are in complete opposition here.

Certainly, in a long term relationship you would look for the qualities that you have described here. And I don't doubt you possess those qualities, as do others.

I do however, think that it's unrealistic to expect one person to meet all your needs. This is the point where most relationships fail because he or she feels their needs are not being met.

I have been working in psych for over 10 years now, and have watched this scenario play out over and over. Not to mention getting "burned" in my own relationship. Call my cynical.

 

[MICKEY88]

It is completely okay for you to disagree with me. You have your opinion, and I have mine. However, I don't think we are in complete opposition here.

Certainly, in a long term relationship you would look for the qualities that you have described here. And I don't doubt you possess those qualities, as do others.

I do however, think that it's unrealistic to expect one person to meet all your needs. This is the point where most relationships fail because he or she feels their needs are not being met.

I have been working in psych for over 10 years now, and have watched this scenario play out over and over. Not to mention getting "burned" in my own relationship. Call my cynical.

another problem is, too many people believe in fairy tales, and expect to find the same, even if you are fortunate enough to find that best friend relationship, there will still be times or issues over which you will not agree, there is no perfect life, or relationship, true love is more than a feeling, it's also a decision, one must decide to love their mate regardless of imperfections, and regardless of disagreements

 

[Pinkee77]

another problem is, too many people believe in fairy tales, and expect to find the same, even if you are fortunate enough to find that best friend relationship, there will still be times or issues over which you will not agree, there is no perfect life, or relationship, true love is more than a feeling, it's also a decision, one must decide to love their mate regardless of imperfections, and regardless of disagreements

Huzzah!

 

[MICKEY88]

Huzzah!

I've only ever heard that at the Ren FAire before..

 

[nurse.darcy]

Here is all I have to say on this. I have been horrid in the past at choosing a mate. I have been divorced 2 times and had a few failed relationships. One thing that I DO know without a doubt is you cannot expect anyone else to fulfill your needs. That is something you must do for yourself. You can, however, expect that you will find someone with which you enjoy being with, doing things with, planning with, going to movies with, having an intimate relationship with, share your deepest darkest secrets with, can't stand to be apart from, etc.

I love my time to myself, but I love being with others. I am a social butterfly. There is not a shy bone in my body and I love a social gathering. These things I need for me. My mate does not need to love social gatherings nor does he need to be the life of the party. He does, however, need to understand that I need that. But then, I also need to understand my mate's needs. Its a delicate balance. At this stage in my life I don't need someone to take care of me financially. I want a companion to share things with. To share life with. If that companion comes with an outer wrapping that appeals to me, so be it. But I can HONESTLY tell you I don't give a hoot about the outer wrapping. Honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, and the ability to love unconditionally are all I need. Oh, and hand-holding, hugs, and an occasional PDA. . .lol.

 

[Kfyr23]

Rainy rainy day here in Florida. Sounds like a perfect day for the parks.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

Rainy rainy day here in Florida. Sounds like a perfect day for the parks.

Have fun at MK