Tink-erin-belle
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2010
- Messages
- 1,197
Oh Erin...
I am so sorry that you've had to go through all of this...that's a lot of stress (having divorced parents... I know the stuff that goes on can really take its toll on a person- physically and emotionally... so I hope that you are taking care of yourself and getting what you need as well as the kids... you need to feel well too...)
I think it speaks well of your character that despite your split from your ex you amicably tried to do custody arrangements & even when he was behaving badly you still felt some compassion for him...
...Having said that... your primary concern is your kids and yourself... I'm glad this seems resolved and I hope you and the children can move forward peacefully...
Poor Coy... do you know how many things 13 year olds say that they don't really mean when their upset? How awful for him...
True... Bless her... she has such a sweet heart...![]()
Thanks, Patricia. I am getting better at taking care of myself first so that I can be able to take care of the kids. It is hard to do, though! I always want to give give give! But I have started to recognize when I am spreading myself too thin.
Even though I think my ex is a complete moron sometimes, I do also feel sorry for him sometimes. I was in that courtroom thinking, If you had just TALKED to me or our kids, you wouldnt be getting reamed by the judge right now! I think that the kids and I will be able to put all of this behind us, and I hope that their dad doesnt say anything negative about the trial when they go to his house this weekend. I want us all to just move on. I feel so bad for Coy. No kid should be put in that position between his parents. He said something out of anger and he has been paying for it since July, and I felt terrible for him. When I got home on Tuesday, I gave him a big hug and I said that it was all over. He asked me, So no more court? Thats it? We really get to stay with you? and I could see the relief in his eyes


Erin, you are just so awesome.You are the best Mom and I'm sorry you had to go through this, but so glad it's over! I LOVE the cake!
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Thanks, Karen! Im glad this is over now, too! The cake was awesome. True is wise beyond her years, I tell ya!

What a huge relief to have the custody issue behind you. The summer before Marissa was a Freshman, we had to redo the custody stuff. We had joint with the ex seeing them every other weekend. Lets just say, after the police were involved, Marissa didn't want to see him ever. She was scared to go over there. I got a good lawyer. The ex was served and he just brushed it aside or something. He defaulted. Never answered the summons. So, by default, I got full legal custody of both. Jacob still sees him for one or two weekends each month. Marissa goes to dinner maybe once or twice a month. She still doesn't spend the night there. Maybe once since this happened. I let the kids decide how much time they wanted and since he defaulted, that is what was ordered. Instead of the 6 weeks during summer, he now just gets 2 weeks with Jacob. My ex actually wants his pay garnished. It is the only way he will pay. When he moved from Texas to Oregon, he made me set it up, so I pay $50/year to have the state garnish it. I was married for 6 short years and I just wish young people would realize that the decisions they make will determine their future. We have been divorced for 11 years and he still can be a jerk to me and it does affect the kids.
I am glad that you can breathe easier now and I loved the cake.
Thanks, Shannon! Im sorry that you had to go through a custody issue too! It sounds like it must have been a pretty traumatic situation for Marissa not to want to spend the night there with her dad anymore. Poor thing! That is unbelievable that your ex didnt even answered the summons, but I am glad it worked out in the end. I think that it is sad that some parents dont realize that they are causing their kids to pull away. My kids have occasionally just stayed home instead of going to their dads because they know that they will be bored over there since he doesnt spend much time with them. I dont get that. If, God forbid, I was the one who had visitation with the kids every other weekend, I would spend every waking second with them because I would know that I wouldnt get to see them again for two weeks! One day, the kids are going to probably stop visiting their dad altogether. They will be teenagers with social lives, activities and jobs and they wont have time for him or me for that matter so you would think that he would make the most of the time he does have with them, right? Oh well. My ex wanted his pay garnished, too! I guess he knew that he wouldnt pay child support unless it was coming directly from his check. Back when the child support order was originally entered (2004, I think) he was going around boasting, I put child support on MYSELF as if taking financial responsibility for his kids wasnt something he was supposed to do!


