disciplining children at the parks

[2tinksmom]

We've been going with our DDs since they were 2 and 6 (now 6 and 10) and I've found that letting our expectations be known before we go is a plus. They pretty much have my "no whining, no rudeness, no pitchin' fits...etc. speech down pretty good. We've honestly been blessed with great kids and they don't do any of the aforementioned atrocities on a regular basis anyway. Now, they just look at my DH and say, "Are ya listen', Daddy", and tell him the "speech" must be for him, lol!! Last March, we went with another family and, unfortunately, their two youngest DSs, 5 and 8, spent a portion of each day laying on the ground having screaming fits if they didn't get their way. The look on my DDs faces were priceless, mouths open and eyes buggin' out of their heads. I just took them aside and said, "That's my mommy and daddy like for you to behave!" P.S. We are so not going back with that family EVER AGAIN!!!!!

 

[deb305]

We took DD to WDW when she was 3, and again with her 1yr DB when she was 4.5yr. The first trip was marred by breakdowns, tantrums, commando mom (me)fear on rides etc, and the last trip was a sheer dream. The difference was the 1 yr old forced us to slow down, and take lots of refreshment/food breaks. This was made easier by going off season. We actually did more on the second trip because no one got exhausted and we could stay later in the parks. We stopped running to the next ride, took in more shows, worried less about sit down dinners, ate tons of small snacks at all the different food stands. We went when the highs were in the 70's, making all the difference. We also rented strollers, and the kids were more energetic not having to walk to all the rides

 

[crisi]

BTW: Striking a child (anyone under 18) in the face is NOT legal in Florida or anywhere else in the US. Parent or not..

Bet you are wrong. Child abuse laws vary ALOT from state to state and are seldom this specific. I'll be happy to correct my opinion of the law if you'd care to present a cite:

http://www.calib.com/nccanch/statutes/statutesglance.cfm

here is Florida's

http://www.calib.com/nccanch/statutes/stats02/define/fl.cfm

BTW, I am CERTAINLY not advocating slapping a child, I think it is an atrocious thing to do. Just pointing out that it is NOT illegal in all states, and not illegal in Florida to slap your child across the face.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

We got back a few weeks ago with DD 4.5 and DD 22 months. Overall, the advice given here is right on target. My youngest is also a handful, but we found that if she could walk (run!) a little rather than ride in the stroller everywhere she was happier. Fortunately the crowds were low enough to let us do that. If we ever needed her to stay in the stroller to get somewhere more quickly (FP return or PS), we found giving her a snack or a water bottle or fan usually did the trick.

We did find with the older one, that she would show her attitude once in a while, but losing a requested ride/treat or even a short time out while her sister had fun worked most of the time.

And of course we did have a couple of occassions of carrying the screaming child out of the park (usually when we were headed back to the resort for nap, and she didn't want a nap ), but as soon as she got her nap in, she's fine!

 

[eek40]

I was always amazed at how many people resort to hitting while at the parks in WDW. I think that a lot of it stems from the fact that you need to go to the parks for the children not for yourself, that way you are not in a rush, and in a panic to ride everything. So many parents(not all ) go with the comando plan to ride and do EVERYTHING in a week, which is just not possible, they want their moneys worth and must do it all! My best advice is to slow down, enjoy, remember WDW isnt going anywhere so you can always come back. Here are my rules for all children in my care.

Rule 1: Do not walk or run away from me
Rule 2: If I ask you to hold my hand its for a good reason and you must do so, I will let you stop as soon as its safe.
Rule 3: The better you behave the more we can do , see, and get. The worse you behave the sooner we will be in the car and on our way home/hotel...etc
Rule 4: This is the most important rule....HAVE FUN!

Aimee

 

[shakespear]

Bet you are wrong. Child abuse laws vary ALOT from state to state and are seldom this specific. I'll be happy to correct my opinion of the law if you'd care to present a cite:

Off the link you posted:

"Abuse" means any willful act or threatened act that results in any physical, mental, or sexual injury or harm that causes or is likely to cause the child's physical, mental, or emotional health to be significantly impaired. Abuse of a child includes acts or omissions.

Slapping = physical injury

You cannot legaly slap ANY child, same as any adult.

 

[crisi]

Check the strigent definition of harm from the same site.

Slapping does not cause harm by the Florida's legal definition.

 

[crazymomof4]

I don't risk discipline of any kind in public. Too many people think a swat on the behind (after many verbal warnings) is abuse. My SIL gave me this tip when my kids were little, but the kids have to be old enough to understand. -- Warn them that they are misbehaving, if they continue, warn them that they will acrue one "punishment" (spanking, time-out session, reduced TV time, what ever you use) if they continue. If they chose to continue misbehaving then tell them they have gained one "punishment" which will be carried out when get home. (or to the hotel room). Tell them that you will continue to add to this if they continue to misbehave. You HAVE to follow through with it once you do get home! I have seldom had to add the second "punishment". I use this in malls, restaurants, etc. It requires no screaming, just a firm voice and a stern look. No one around you needs to be disturbed.

 

[crazymomof4]

Originally posted by eek40
I was always amazed at how many people resort to hitting while at the parks in WDW. I think that a lot of it stems from the fact that you need to go to the parks for the children not for yourself, that way you are not in a rush, and in a panic to ride everything. So many parents(not all ) go with the comando plan to ride and do EVERYTHING in a week, which is just not possible, they want their moneys worth and must do it all! My best advice is to slow down, enjoy, remember WDW isnt going anywhere so you can always come back. Here are my rules for all children in my care.

Rule 1: Do not walk or run away from me
Rule 2: If I ask you to hold my hand its for a good reason and you must do so, I will let you stop as soon as its safe.
Rule 3: The better you behave the more we can do , see, and get. The worse you behave the sooner we will be in the car and on our way home/hotel...etc
Rule 4: This is the most important rule....HAVE FUN!

Aimee

I like all of your rules but esp. the one about hand holding! This seems to be a lost art in modern parenting. I nearly have a stroke watching kids 18 mos, 2-3 yrs old wandering alone way ahead of the parents in places like malls, a busy sidewalk or the boardwalk (on NJ shore). It's such a simple thing and can prevent everything from skinned knees to being hit by a car! My kids held my hand from the time they took their first steps. If my hands were full they were so used to holding on to me that they grabbed a handfull of my slacks and held on to that! They didn't feel comfortable NOT holding on!

 

[eek40]

mom of 4,

Funny thing is I am not a parent, I have been a preschool teacher, and also I have been a Nanny for 12 years(not any longer). Most children I have taken care of hate holding hands, and for me its just not an option, I always try to give them freedom if possible but if I feel that there is danger they will hold my hand. I think that a lot of it is just that people tend to give their children options on things that shouldnt be optional Safety is NOT optional to me at all. Most of the children I have cared for know the above rules by heart, and they can recite them along with me!
Aimee

 

[flexsmom]

5. Make sure all adults in the party are well fed and lots to drink

I totally agree - I vote for Chardonnnay or Coors Lite, and I find I'm much more tolerant of the bahavior. (Of course, now I sound like I have a problem, which I don't! But I do find that one glass definitely makes me much more relaxed (and my OB even recommended one after my amnio, so it can't be all bad!))

Please don't flame me!

 

[catherine]

Originally posted by crisi
Check the strigent definition of harm from the same site.

Slapping does not cause harm by the Florida's legal definition.

Then I think that the people who come up with these definitions should put themselves in the place of a small child and let someone who is say 150lbs heavier than them slap them in the face. It would be interesting to see if they still considered it not to cause harm. Slapping a child across the face causes harm physical and mental and it IS ABUSE!!

 

[crisi]

I will not disagree. I'm just correcting a piece of misinformation. And that, as a statement of fact, simply slapping a child is not illegal in Florida. It may be wrong to slap a child, but it is not illegal. There is often a big difference in what we'd like the law to be and what it is.

If anyone would like to argue that it should be illegal, I believe the debate board is the place for that. I won't follow you, as I don't do corporeal punishment debates and seldom do the Dis debate board.

 

[Jacksmom99]

Originally posted by Selket
For example...he melted down one afternoon when he had to leave the pool cause they were closing it because of storms. We hadn't been at the pool long and he really wanted to go swimming. We had to take him back up to the room crying and being loud (him...not us) the whole way. I just talked to him all the way up and when we got there and explained the behaviour we expected...etc.

I thought my 4.5 DS was the only one to do this!!! He completely melted down at the WL one afternoon when they had to close the pool. I think we have spoiled him with all our trips to WDW....he expects too much and on previous trips had Gramma with him to indulge his every wish, not so on this last trip with mean old Mom and Dad There were several times where he melted down and I had to remove him and go have a "talk" in the ladies room ect. One night we were headed for dinner at the ESPN club and then going into EPCOT for the evening. DS threw a screaming fit all the way down the Boardwalk and refused to go into the restaurant. I removed him and when he clamed down, I got him to tell me that he wanted to go to back to the Atlantic Dance club where they had the DVC members day party the day before. Once I explained why we couldn't go there he was OK, but we decided that Epcot would be too much for him that night so we ate and left. However, DH head the hostesses at the ESPN club saying " here comes the family with the screaming kid, oh great" when we returned to eat.

We found that taking the time to really outline our plans with him really helped for the rest of the trip. He knew what we were going to do and that no, he would not be able to ride everything 4 times in a row, and mommy and daddy were going to take their time to look at things too. We were also pretty cranky b/c it POURED the entire trip, so our fun was pretty limited, but kept telling ourselves, we'll be back next year with reinforcements!!!