disciplining children at the parks

[becky23]

I would like to ask parents how they take care of disciplining at the parks. I have a 4 and almost 2yrd old-who I want to have the best time at the parks-but also would like them to behave. I have been to the parks and seen numerous parents-screaming, spanking, and even frankly hitting(different from spanking).I do not want to be one of them._Could you tell me how you take care of your own children? Also, I understand children get cranky, hot and tired. Thank you.(the almost 2 yr old can be a bit hiper.)

 

[pstepka]

We usually buy the kids something each day...a small souvenier or something. They know they must behave in order to get that treat. So...when they start to misbehave, we remind them that if they are bad, they will NOT get the treat. It's very effective for us because we have 3 kids and one does not want to miss out on something the other two may get!

I'm lucky because as awful as my kids can be at home, they pull through on vacations and are really pretty good!

I agree, that I would not want to dicipline the same as I do at home, because who wants to drag around a mad/crying kid, and I would feel I'm wasting my money by having him not enjoying himself.

Pam

 

[Spinning]

First I think it is knowing your kids and yourself really well before taking a big trip with little ones.
We have been going to disney since DD was 18 months and Ds was only 2 months old.
We haven't had a problem yet but this is what I have learned:
1. Go at their pace, you might not get to see or do everything
2. keep them well fed and lots to drink
3. Try to have one day off from the parks for down time
4. Take advantage of the "play"area
5. Make sure all adults in the party are well fed and lots to drink
6. If possible stick to their normal bed time or at least some of the nights go to bed close to it
7. go during off peak season
8. Go with the flow and most important
9. Don't force the characters on them even it you are dying to get a great picture with Mickey
10. ENJOY this magical trip!
I love seeing Disney through my kids eyes. It is whole new trip! I wouldn't stress about behavoir problems before leaving. If you have them under control at home and they aren't throwing tantrums then chances are they will be fine at Disney. Also the first day at the park or even the plane ride down may be the hardest due to excitment. Stay calm and they will too. Let them know you are excited too!

 

[ahutton]

Don't forget that there are quiet places within the parks where an overstimulated or overtired child can calm down. Find a walkway that is away from things to let them run around and get themselves back together.

Another life saver for me was the Baby Care Center. We went in, did a potty break, cooled off and had some water and then DD got to play at her own pace for a bit. It was exactly what she needed - some on her own on the floor time (she was about 18 months old then) and after playing with legos and coloring a bit she was a new child and ready for more park fun.

 

[Selket]

Our 5.5 yr old seemed to get over-stimulated with all the things to do and had melt-downs there he never has at home. I was completely surprised by that since I've not seen him have that problem before - at least in many many years! For example...he melted down one afternoon when he had to leave the pool cause they were closing it because of storms. We hadn't been at the pool long and he really wanted to go swimming. We had to take him back up to the room crying and being loud (him...not us) the whole way. I just talked to him all the way up and when we got there and explained the behaviour we expected...etc. I don't recommend yelling back! I saw one father slap his young daugher right in the face and she was about my son's age. He saw it too Just expect some different behaviour and don't get upset yourself! I like the idea of a reward later in the day if your kids respond to that.

 

[NotUrsula]

Depends on age. When they are really little, most meltdowns are just a response to being "too" something: too hot, too tired, too hungry, too scared, too overwhelmed. Getting out of the parks usually fixes that. We often got out to one of the nearby hotels if all we needed was a short break in a quiet place.

For older kids, the most important thing to watch out for, other than the environmental factors listed above, is the gimmies. Give each child a pre-set spending limit for the entire trip, then restrict shopping to the final hour in a given park. I create scrip for DS' spending money, and if he willfully misbehaves, I destroy it a little at a time. No scrip left means no souvies at all, and he knows it.
We visit lots and lots of museums and children's attractions year-round, so he knows what behaviour is and is not acceptable in such a place. Generally, he's much better behaved there than at home, because he doesn't want to the lose the privilege of being there.

One thing I would caution about if discipline is an issue for your children: don't buy UHP's. There is a nasty psychological barrier to those "use-it-or-lose-it" park passes, because parents tend to be unable to say "we will just stay in our room with no TV" when they are out the money for the passes even if they don't go to the parks. With a park hopper, you can follow through on that threat without losing money.

 

[CEDmom]

In May DD was headed toward a melt down after 1 1/2 in MK. We opted to leave the park and return to the resort. After a swim and some rest time she was ready to go back to a park. You really have to just gauge your own child. Some can be calmed with a snack or a rest in the shade while others really need to be completely removed from what's setting them off.

I can't imagine hitting or yelling at DD because she wasn't enjoying herself as I'd hoped. Sure it was hard not to think about how we'd blown a day on our hopper passes and didn't get much out of it. However, a cool drink at the WL pool bar helped ease that pain .

 

[crisi]

We had few (or no) problems with our 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 year old. And the little one has always been a handful. They are happy to be there.

Generally, when we are someplace they enjoy and they start to misbehave, a sharp look and a "We CAN leave" gets the to straighten up. If it doesn't, we leave. The only problem we've had is that on occation, one of us has to stay behind to get the food boxed up and the bill paid at the restaurant. But I have dragged my screaming daughter out of a restaurant in my arms - and out of a mall, and out of the movies.

You DO need to watch your kids, especially little ones. If they do get tired, find some down time - back at the hotel, riding the train around the MK, sitting in the Hall of Presidents. And watch their blood sugar level and hydration as well. My daughter is particularly cranky if not fed.

 

[HappyMommy2]

Everyone has given great tips! I'll ponder all of that for our next trip.

I did want to add that, with adequate rest in the hotel room and plenty of cooling-off breaks (we went in July) our DS3.5 and DS1.5 actually behaved better at WDW than on our average day at home. I think it was because they were kept so busy, and because we were sure to do plenty of things they love to do (jumping in fountains at Epcot, etc.). Discipline was not as much of an issue as we had expected it to be. We did use Mickey bars as a reward for extra-good behavior a couple of times

 

[meandtheguys]

On those occasions when we are out and about and a meltdown occurs we remove the child (on occasion kicking and screaming) to a quiet place as far removed from attention as possible and will do a time-out until they are under control. I don't want to make my guys out to be behavior problems because they aren't. All of us have a tough time keeping an appropriate attitude at times! I try to focus on just the two of us and not my embarassment although its hard sometimes. And if I lose my temper and speak more firmly than needed (okay yell), I apologize and we both take a time out! I am not a perfect mom. Sometimes my kids respond to bribes...I mean positive reinforcements, and sometimes their need to have a hissy fit is stronger!

Michelle

I also try not to hold his hand in a "death grip" while leading him out!

 

[becky23]

Thank you for all your suggestions.. I guess I have been stressing too much because both of my kids have been acting up. Especially the almost 2 yrd old. But I will use the positive reenforcement ideas. My husband works alot of hours so when they get quality time with him they usually will act better-so I will keep my fingers crossed-and just have a really good time., I love the pineapple whips in Adventure land.-That will be my savior-haha. I know some people drink alcohol I eat sweets-haha. Only 30 days left.

 

[ReneeQ]

I don't have children of my own, but have taken friend's children and my nephew at different times (with me being the only adult). I let them know going into the trip that they must mind me and I won't put up with any misbehaving, tantrums, etc. Usually at some point each trip, the misbehaving starts anyway. We just stop what we are doing, head for the bus and go back to the room. We have gotten out of lines in the parks, etc. Once they realize I really mean it, and that I WILL leave all the fun for us to just go sit in the room, I have NO problems at all.

Yes, this wastes some time. But it's so worth it because the rest of the trip is great! All the idle threats in the world mean nothing, but once they see that I mean it, one time is all it takes.

 

[TEK224]

I don't have kids either, but lots of nieces and nephews. They know upfront that I won't tolerate any nonsense. We're all there to have a good time. If they don't behave, we'll go back to the room and sit there. They usually get the message.

Plus, if they act up too much, they know it could be their last trip out with "auntie".
Terri

 

[Jordan's MOM]

So many great ideas! I agree most of all that preventing the problems is the number one key!!! Making sure that all the basic needs are met. Carring snacks and drinks are very important. Kids get so busy they forget they are hungery and then crash all of a sudden. We have the rule that if ANYONE get tired, we all take a break. DH gets tired the most! Sometimes that means sitting on the bench for 5 minutes, or a ice cream cone in a cool place, or sometimes even calling it a day.
We also set rules before we arrive that might be different than home rule. Our #1 rule is that nobody whines. If you have a need, tell someone and we will try to fix it, but no whinning. Also the rule is if you want to purcahse something go ahead and ask but if we say no, don't ask again.
We have really had nothing but excelent behavior at WDW or anywhere else we have traveled.Our problems come after we return home. DS gets used to all the time and attention we can focus on him and craves the extra time with DH that he got on the trip. He is much better now as he is older, but when he was younger the first few day after return from a trip was not pretty at our house.
When he was little, I would disipline pretty much the same on a trip as at home. You can find a good time out spot anywhere the need arises. I never spanked or yelled at home so these were not option on vacation anyway.
Relax, i bet the kids will be just fine!!!

Jordan's mom

 

[shakespear]

My daughters first trip is coming up, so I guess I am hoping what works at home will work there.


BTW: Striking a child (anyone under 18) in the face is NOT legal in Florida or anywhere else in the US. Parent or not..

I wish people would leave the anger and rage at home and have fun in the happiest place on earth.

Also, as a victim of physical abuse I encourage you to find alternate forms of discipline other than spanking. ANYTHING will work as long as you stick to it.

 

[momx2]

My 2nd DD has been going since she was 14 mons old. She was great that trip, just strolled around, rode whatever we could get her on. Second trip she was 20 months old and she was still good, but wanted to run more (normal), but would still ride everything without being afraid. Fastforward to third trip. She was 26 months old and was horrid. She was scared of the fireworks, most rides (anything in the dark, even peter pan). This is normal for alot of kids this age, so no big deal. But she was going through that "terrible two" thing. She screamed if we had to wait in line to ride a ride because she should be riding right then, she screamed when the ride was over and we had to get out. It was embarrassing. One morning, my husband finally just left MK with her, leaving me and other DD 5 to ourselves. We had a great time. DH reported that he took her to DTD and just strolled around. He said without all that stimulation she was fine. She was just at an age where she couldn't handle the stimulation. We couldn't take her back to MK and we cancelled some character meals because she was the one chasing the characters around the restuarant (me or DH trying to get her) and not eating and crying because the characters were with another table Just go with their flow and it should be okay.

BTW, she is now 2 1/2 and much better. We are braving it again in Feb. 04

 

[cinder1]

I have 3 kids, DD8, DD6, DS 3.5. I have found, especially with the younger 2, that they act up (whining, crying) when they are too tired &/or hungry. Sometimes we all stop and rest, eat something, but sometimes what works best is to split up. DH will take the 2 non-whining kids to a ride and I will take the whining kid to rest, usually in an airconditioned restaurant or food court or on a ride if that is what they want (& I know they are not actually hungry). Most of the time this works great. The whiner gets some rest and food and most importantly, some alone time with mom. It makes a world of difference when they get all the attention (not bad attention) from mom. The non-whiners are happy too when we regroup because they have had time with dad with no whining person to mess things up. We do this at home too. When one of the kids (right now my DD6) seems to have a few bad days in a row, we carve out some alone time and boy, does he/she feel way better. We don't do anything extraordinary. We go shopping, to lunch, run errands and just talk. Works everytime!!

 

[AirForceRocks]

As others have said, I think the key is to keep the kids from getting over tired and over stimulated. Taking it easy in the parks, and making lots of times for relaxing, even if it means just sitting on a bench watching people and characters go by, can make all the difference.

I have, on rare occassions popped my kids in the behind at WDW, but only when they were starting to race away from and into a crowd. I don't equate a swift swat on the behind to abuse...

 

[dijid]

For us, getting the kids to behave begins at home. Our kids have learned that whenever they act up in public, they will be removed from the situation. It's either time out, or they leave some place (DH or I will sit in the car with them if the other sibling is still doing the activity). When we were at WDW, if they were acting up, they knew we would carry through with the threat of removal from the parks. We rarely had to use that threat, though, as we tried really hard to make sure they had enough rest and plenty of breaks from the parks. We tried to stick to their normal routine/schedule as much as possible and even if it meant we missed the fireworks at night, I think it made our visit much more enjoyable.

 

[plutosmyfav]

Originally posted by dijid
For us, getting the kids to behave begins at home. Our kids have learned that whenever they act up in public, they will be removed from the situation. It's either time out, or they leave some place (DH or I will sit in the car with them if the other sibling is still doing the activity). When we were at WDW, if they were acting up, they knew we would carry through with the threat of removal from the parks.

This is my approach too. DS (3) has sensory integration issues and gets over stimulated in public places. When he does, he darts off wildly in all directions. So I "practice shop" with him. We go to a place with lots of stimuli and I have a talk with him before we go in. He knows that if he runs off and doesn't listen to me first he gets put in the carriage or stroller (which he hates). Second time, we leave, period. When I first started doing this he only lasted about 1-3 minutes in a store. But he is learning.

At WDW I plan to bring the stroller. We will have a talk before entering the parks. He must hold my hand or walk next to the stroller. If he runs away he has to get in the stroller. If he runs away again we will leave the park (maybe just out to the parking lot for a while) and then try again.

My toughest challenge to disciplining in public is that people don't understand my child has a special need. He's big for his age and looks a year older than he really is and I often get dirty looks as if people are wondering why I don't have control of my child. I try to ignore it but it can be the last thing an exasperated mother needs!