Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part IV - GAGWTA

MaryAnn - Thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

Sha - Happy to see that things are going so well for you and R.

Laurie - I don't consider myself a techie either. I know just enough to be dangerous lol.

OceanAnnie - Hoping you get good news.

Sorry I have been MIA, but it's been a rough 10 days. I wasn't feeling great after restarting chemo on the 6th, which was to be expected. I usually start feeling better about a week after, but I actually felt worse this time. Was absolutely miserable from last Saturday until yesterday. Loss of appetite, achy all over, kidney pain and being bloated. I thought it was from the new drug until I talked to one of the women in my support group. She was experiencing the same symptoms and has heard of other people here having the same thing. So, I'm hoping that it was just some type of bug and that things go better on the 27th when I have my next chemo. This is the time of year when sickness is rampant because of all the snowbirds that bring germs with them from their hometowns. It's time for me to become a hermit again and avoid public places for awhile.:sad2:

Lisa, it sounds rough. I'm sorry for what you are going through. :hug: I hope you have some relief soon.

Thank you and everyone for the well wishes. I did get good but cautious results. I missed speaking to the breast surgeon. He left a message and had mostly good things to say. The zinger was I need another breast MRI in 6 months. I file that in the "be careful what you say" department (for myself). I left that place saying (in my mind) over and over, "I'll NEVER do that again.". I'm was eating those words in less than 2 hours. :upsidedow I had to laugh at myself on that one.
 
Good afternoon sistas

Annie - glad your testing is over and that the results are favorable. Sorry you have to do it again in 6 months. I am on a 6th month schedule too.

Lisa - I am so happy to see your posting, but sorry to hear you are having a rough time. So I guess you can blame the NY snowbirds too because I know we sure send alot of them down there for the winter.

Laurie - how was the NO trip?

Candy - how are you sista? Miss you posting.

Linda - are you guys getting snow tomm. We are. Not much though. I think its our lst snow.

Well yest. meeting was long. I like the guy. He will do his best for our family. He knows people which are important for us. He said things can go either way, there are no guarantees. He gave us the best and worst case scenarios.

He has melanoma as does some of his ther family members. He told me to read the book, Anti-Cancer. Anyone ever read this book?

He also told me to just allow 1 hour a day to get upset over this whole situation etc. Do whatever I want to vent etc. Sounds interesting. He said all the worrying is not good for me too. He did say dh and I could go on our vacation so that will be good. He also said this will be a long and drawn out process, up to a year maybe for the lst part of things. Sigh, sigh.

Now for the sonogram today... The new dr. was o.k. A little more business like than I wanted but acceptable none the less. She did all the testing. Before that she has the sonographer taking pictures, her and then she asks if the medical student could watch. WTH, I felt like this was turning more into a 3 ring circus than a sonogram. I said o.k. Heah, I thought of my ds being a nurse. You gotta learn sometime etc. She only looked at the sono screen.

She said she really found nothing wrong other than a fibroid in the uterus. She doesnt know what happened to my body but said sometimes your body just does things etc. I guess I am one of those strange people as usual.

Then also yest. in the mail I got another letter saying the dr. who was going to do that cystscopy would not be doing it due to unforseen circustances, so they assigned me another dr. Oh no way, not that again. So when I went today, I promptly cancelled that appt. That will be well on my back burner. I am tired of playing dr. substitution. I dont think that is fair to the patient etc. Its also a psychological thing with me, you trust ahd get to know one dr. etc. I am sure Linda and Sha could relate to this as nurses as well.

If we do go to Disney I saw Davy Jones (aka from the Monkees) will be doing the flower power concert. That would be fun. Although I dont think dh knows who the Monkees are. He probably thinks about the ones in the zoo.:rotfl2:

Mon. is my endo visit. I havent heard from her so I am assuming all my tests were good.

GAGWTA.
 
Lisa, I am sorry the chemo knocked you back so hard. I hope your suspicion is right that a virus was in the mix as well. Staying clear of the germs is probably wise. I hope the weather clears and you can enjoy your back yard and pool some until your resistance is better.

Sha, I have the perfect place to grab some coffee. I would love to have you guys over to eat, but I know how precious your time is together. Maybe if you are ever down for a week we can arrange to serve y'all a meal.

Good news, OceanAnnie. You sound like you are rolling with it, I mean having the MRI every six months. You have your game face on and I like it!!!

MaryAnn, I hope you are able to adopt the worrying for one hour a day advice.
It sounds too easy but if you try, it might work. I second the comment above about the serenity prayer. Also, one day at a time.

I like that you have a trip to plan and look forward to. That is a healthy way to keep your mind involved.

Glad the sonogram is over. I hope you get a break before more procedures, and that your pain subsides.

I think you asked earlier in the thread about how I decorate for Mardi Gras. A lot of folks even here will put out door hangings and strings of lights in purple, green and gold (traditional Mardi Gras colors). I have some nice masks that I hang from the big thing over the island in my kitchen where the pots and pans hang from.

I have pared down a bit since relocating here, but i had more decorations when we lived in suburban New Orleans since we were half a block from the Metairie parade route and had lots of company the week or two before Mardi Gras.

There are many more people in New Orleans who decorate, some even have Christmas trees decorated with the traditional colors.

And king cake parties are in full swing now.

The NOLA trip was great, although a long day Wednesday for all of us, as DD16 attended the 6 am mass, then school, then we were on the road and it was 10:45 pm before I dropped off her 3 friends at their respective houses.

We had clear sailing though down to New Orleans, no traffic, clear skies, were first in line to pick up tickets at will call, took them for a quick pizza, then dropped them off at the temple on St. Charles Ave right next down from Tulane. The event was to receive a signed copy of John
Green's new book (young adult book author). Green and his brother (twenty something guys) put on a little interactive show with music, singing, and stories at various places they travel to to promote his books. It is clean cut stuff, Green is married with a child and plans to study to be a rabbi. Apparently he is popular with the teenage and young 20 age groups as they do lots of utube videos and have a very active blog.

After I dropped the girls at the temple, I went to meet the doggie DD21 and her BF just adopted (dachshund) and then take them to a wonderful dinner at a perfect little restaurant in a little house uptown, La Boucherie. We did not have a reservation but our timing was perfect and the food outstanding and reasonable.

It was a relaxing interlude where we could catch up in person and eat excellent food before I picked up DD16 and her friends. The best part is that all of this, picking up DD21 and her BF, the pizza place, Le Boucherie, and the venue where the program was that DD16 and her friends were attending was all within about a 1 to 2 mile radius uptown.

NOLA has its flaws but being able to easily travel around uptown was wonderful. The evening mad me a little nostalgic for NOLA. Especially when I had to face going back to work yesterday am, and neither DD16 or I good get ourselves together on time for school and work.

Ah well, made some good memories. DD21 starts an internship today, and use is struggling with how to juggle the internship, waitressing, and her 17 hours. We have encouraged her to quit the restaurant as we suspect that she will be busy sending out her resume and interviewing (hopefully) for a job when she graduates. Her BF is still not sure where he will attend medical school. There will be many decisions for them during the next 6 months or so.

DD16 thanked me profusely for taking them for the John Green thing. DD21 also sent me the sweetest text late that night to check that we got home ok and to thank me and saying that was the best meal she had had for awhile.
Her BF is a bit shy but opened up and talked a lot at our little dinner Wednesday since it was just the three of us and a laid back evening. It was nice to get to know him better.

GAGWTA everyone!
 
Hopefully this post can get through. The boards are crazy slow etc.

Lisa - hoping you get your strength back slowly. One day at a time.

Laurie - sounds like you had a great time in NO.

PatsMom - hope you are ok too

Remember how I was venting about the doctor swtcharoo stuff yest? Well ds21 gave me an envelope and I opened it and....it was a Dear Patient letter, yup not a Dear John letter, a Dear Patient letter....I regret to inform you that I will be leaving the practice this summer (my new gyn who I like). :headache::headache:. She gave the name of the person taking her place. Its a resident at the hosp. now I think. Saw her picture, looks ok, but of course no reviews. This whole situation is so frustrating. I have a hard time trusting drs. after my near death experience etc.

This morning dh was crying in bed. I felt so sad for him too. This is taking such a toll on us. But I am glad we have our faith to hold onto for sure.

A little snow yest, but such bad black ice it took dh over 1 1/2 hrs. to get home as they closed so many roads with accidents etc.

Tomm. is at least 4 inches. So I think we might stay in. Only ds19 has to work but I think he should stay home. I dont know if ds24 has a game tonight. They are 0-7 and he is not happy. I told him you have to work with the talent you have etc.

GAGWTA. Have a great week end everyone.
 

Good afternoon sistas

Annie - glad your testing is over and that the results are favorable. Sorry you have to do it again in 6 months. I am on a 6th month schedule too.

Lisa - I am so happy to see your posting, but sorry to hear you are having a rough time. So I guess you can blame the NY snowbirds too because I know we sure send alot of them down there for the winter.

Laurie - how was the NO trip?

Candy - how are you sista? Miss you posting.

Linda - are you guys getting snow tomm. We are. Not much though. I think its our lst snow.

Well yest. meeting was long. I like the guy. He will do his best for our family. He knows people which are important for us. He said things can go either way, there are no guarantees. He gave us the best and worst case scenarios.

He has melanoma as does some of his ther family members. He told me to read the book, Anti-Cancer. Anyone ever read this book?

He also told me to just allow 1 hour a day to get upset over this whole situation etc. Do whatever I want to vent etc. Sounds interesting. He said all the worrying is not good for me too. He did say dh and I could go on our vacation so that will be good. He also said this will be a long and drawn out process, up to a year maybe for the lst part of things. Sigh, sigh.

Now for the sonogram today... The new dr. was o.k. A little more business like than I wanted but acceptable none the less. She did all the testing. Before that she has the sonographer taking pictures, her and then she asks if the medical student could watch. WTH, I felt like this was turning more into a 3 ring circus than a sonogram. I said o.k. Heah, I thought of my ds being a nurse. You gotta learn sometime etc. She only looked at the sono screen.

She said she really found nothing wrong other than a fibroid in the uterus. She doesnt know what happened to my body but said sometimes your body just does things etc. I guess I am one of those strange people as usual.

Then also yest. in the mail I got another letter saying the dr. who was going to do that cystscopy would not be doing it due to unforseen circustances, so they assigned me another dr. Oh no way, not that again. So when I went today, I promptly cancelled that appt. That will be well on my back burner. I am tired of playing dr. substitution. I dont think that is fair to the patient etc. Its also a psychological thing with me, you trust ahd get to know one dr. etc. I am sure Linda and Sha could relate to this as nurses as well.

If we do go to Disney I saw Davy Jones (aka from the Monkees) will be doing the flower power concert. That would be fun. Although I dont think dh knows who the Monkees are. He probably thinks about the ones in the zoo.:rotfl2:

Mon. is my endo visit. I havent heard from her so I am assuming all my tests were good.

GAGWTA.

I'm glad you can still go on your vacation. Sorry for what you and your family are going through. I hope things start to look up soon. I like what the doctor told you about being upset for only 1 hour a day.

I understand how you feel about signing up to see one doctor and getting someone else instead. It's a let down and makes your appointment (and procedure) go differently. Hard to explain. But it does. I think you said it best about trust. You build a rapport and you want to stick with it. I am glad they told you in advance before you got there. You had that going for you this time. :)

Thank you for mentioning the book, Anti Cancer. I'm interested.

And thank you for the kind words. :hug:


Lisa, I am sorry the chemo knocked you back so hard. I hope your suspicion is right that a virus was in the mix as well. Staying clear of the germs is probably wise. I hope the weather clears and you can enjoy your back yard and pool some until your resistance is better.

Sha, I have the perfect place to grab some coffee. I would love to have you guys over to eat, but I know how precious your time is together. Maybe if you are ever down for a week we can arrange to serve y'all a meal.

Good news, OceanAnnie. You sound like you are rolling with it, I mean having the MRI every six months. You have your game face on and I like it!!!

MaryAnn, I hope you are able to adopt the worrying for one hour a day advice. It sounds too easy but if you try, it might work. I second the comment above about the serenity prayer. Also, one day at a time.

I like that you have a trip to plan and look forward to. That is a healthy way to keep your mind involved.

Glad the sonogram is over. I hope you get a break before more procedures, and that your pain subsides.

I think you asked earlier in the thread about how I decorate for Mardi Gras. A lot of folks even here will put out door hangings and strings of lights in purple, green and gold (traditional Mardi Gras colors). I have some nice masks that I hang from the big thing over the island in my kitchen where the pots and pans hang from.

I have pared down a bit since relocating here, but i had more decorations when we lived in suburban New Orleans since we were half a block from the Metairie parade route and had lots of company the week or two before Mardi Gras.

There are many more people in New Orleans who decorate, some even have Christmas trees decorated with the traditional colors.

And king cake parties are in full swing now.

The NOLA trip was great, although a long day Wednesday for all of us, as DD16 attended the 6 am mass, then school, then we were on the road and it was 10:45 pm before I dropped off her 3 friends at their respective houses.

We had clear sailing though down to New Orleans, no traffic, clear skies, were first in line to pick up tickets at will call, took them for a quick pizza, then dropped them off at the temple on St. Charles Ave right next down from Tulane. The event was to receive a signed copy of John
Green's new book (young adult book author). Green and his brother (twenty something guys) put on a little interactive show with music, singing, and stories at various places they travel to to promote his books. It is clean cut stuff, Green is married with a child and plans to study to be a rabbi. Apparently he is popular with the teenage and young 20 age groups as they do lots of utube videos and have a very active blog.

After I dropped the girls at the temple, I went to meet the doggie DD21 and her BF just adopted (dachshund) and then take them to a wonderful dinner at a perfect little restaurant in a little house uptown, La Boucherie. We did not have a reservation but our timing was perfect and the food outstanding and reasonable.

It was a relaxing interlude where we could catch up in person and eat excellent food before I picked up DD16 and her friends. The best part is that all of this, picking up DD21 and her BF, the pizza place, Le Boucherie, and the venue where the program was that DD16 and her friends were attending was all within about a 1 to 2 mile radius uptown.

NOLA has its flaws but being able to easily travel around uptown was wonderful. The evening mad me a little nostalgic for NOLA. Especially when I had to face going back to work yesterday am, and neither DD16 or I good get ourselves together on time for school and work.

Ah well, made some good memories. DD21 starts an internship today, and use is struggling with how to juggle the internship, waitressing, and her 17 hours. We have encouraged her to quit the restaurant as we suspect that she will be busy sending out her resume and interviewing (hopefully) for a job when she graduates. Her BF is still not sure where he will attend medical school. There will be many decisions for them during the next 6 months or so.

DD16 thanked me profusely for taking them for the John Green thing. DD21 also sent me the sweetest text late that night to check that we got home ok and to thank me and saying that was the best meal she had had for awhile. Her BF is a bit shy but opened up and talked a lot at our little dinner Wednesday since it was just the three of us and a laid back evening. It was nice to get to know him better.

GAGWTA everyone!

You have a lot going on! I have never been to Mardi Gras. It sounds like a lot of fun. I didn't know there was so much to it! All I really knew about was the partying in the streets (from pictures). :upsidedow

Thank you for the kind words too. And thanks for being there. I do have my game face on!
 
Its just about impossible to get on the boards and post something these days.

Candy,PatsMom and smilie - hope you are all o.k. Miss your posts

Linda - I know who you will be rooting for, can you guess who I will be rooting for?:)

Lisa - hope you are feeling a little better and getting your strength back, Hope things will go good for you on Friday.

Sha - hope you get some me time and can skype with R.

Laurie - will your dd go to the area where her bf gets into medical school?

Well things are so so. We had a low key b day for a certain family member.
Today I drove said member to get his glasses fixed and then onto college and dropped him off. I cant believe I drove. I know I am probably the slowest person on the road. Its hard to get the seatbelt from choking my neck. Probably because there is nothing there for it to hold onto on the L side and of course I cant really use my L arm that much at all. I try to rest it on the side etc.

The meeting on monday was a delay which is typical they said. More meetings and research etc. etc. will be taking place.

Yest. dh took me to the endo.We got great news. I had a resident too. He was a guy and semed nice. I guess that is one of the drawbacks with the teaching hospital. They all have to learn sometime. Seems llike I am always stucik with one of them lately. My reg. endo said my sono and blood tests were really good and so was my bp, so she is happy. She said she wants to liwer my med as the side effects are the heart palpatations and of course the horrible osteoporosis, not good for the bones. So I will start the new dose in a day or two and then get a blood test in another 6 weeks to see how things are going. She said its a delicate balance to make sure the cancer cells do not come back etc. Dh and I went out for a casual celebration. Tuna sand. for me, :)

GAGWTA. Blessings to you all always.
 
Linda - I know who you will be rooting for, can you guess who I will be rooting for?
Believe it or not I hate football and couldn't care less who wins! :lmao:

Sure looking forward to the start of baseball season, though! Pitchers will be reporting to spring training about a month from now! :goodvibes
 
will love some Skype time between now and Thursday evening... then I get to see him face to face.

Laurie I will get in touch with you if things work out to where I can see you Friday afternoon while he is at work.

Im beat! I have too much to do and not enough time to do it or else, like now, Im just too tired to think.
 
will love some Skype time between now and Thursday evening... then I get to see him face to face.

Laurie I will get in touch with you if things work out to where I can see you Friday afternoon while he is at work.

Im beat! I have too much to do and not enough time to do it or else, like now, Im just too tired to think.

Your plan about calling me Friday sounds great. I will be available.
Hope you got some rest.
 
Sha - have a great trip.

Laurie - hope you and Sha get to meet up. It sounds like a wonderful time for everyone! Cant wait to hear all about it.

Anne - continued prayers for Avery.

Candy - giving you a shout out and hope all is well

Annie - sorry about the accident. I couldnt even open the thread to read it all though. The disboards are frustrating lately.

Well ds24 team finally won their lst game yest. It was away so we didnt see it. But a very bad thing happened. A player on the other team accidently landed on our players leg/ankle. He said he heard a pop.

Needless to say the ambulance took him to the hosp. They said he fractured his fibula and maybe the growth plate. They sent him home, but he has to see a specialist today. He plays baseball too, so he is devastated. Of course, my ds is beside himself about this. Never had anything happen like this before. Was talking to the dad last night etc.

Dh leaves for Michigan tomm. Its on southwest, so that is good since we use them for our Fl. trips. More miles/points for us etc.

I havent started thinking about our trip yet and the adrs. I guess I could make them and always cancel them if I have to.

GAGWTA
 
Lisa - thinking of you today and hoping the chemo will go well for you with no bad side effects:hug:. Hang in there. I am encouraged by your sheer determination!

Laurie and Sha - hope you have a marvelous time together today!

Its rainy here but will get better for the week end.

Dh has to stay overnight today and will be back tomm. Too much work to do he said. I drove to the grocery store yest and ds22 helped me before he went to class. Its so tiring just doing that. I cant believe the endo is lowering my med. I feel I will get more tired because of it etc.We shall see.

The poor boy from ds basketball team is now in a hard cast, so sad.

GAGWTA. Have a great week end everyone!
 
Had a wonderful day today with Sha, light lunch, then very nice vista with her great aunt who lives here, then on to pick up some groceries, then dinner with Sha and her sweetie and my DH at a Cajun food restaurant that also features live Cajun music and dancing.

We had a relaxed long visit. The weather was perfect, and the company even more so. Her 92 year old aunt was a delight and we lingered at her lovely place for a long time.

Sending hugs to all of you from the both of us. Each of you was with us in spirit today, and we were with you.

Hope your DH gets home safe, MaryAnn.

Planning out your meals for your next trip is a great idea. I think the anticipation is a big part of the experience.

Let us know which restaurants you decide on.
 
Good morning sistas

Lisa - hope you are resting up post treatment. Thinking of you.

Laurie - sounds like you, your dh, Sha and R. had a great time. It sounded wonderful.

Sha - sounds like you are having a great time and trying to squeeze in every minute from your trip

I feel like Sha with R. and anticipating dh coming home. It should be around 5 pm

DS20 was asked to drop out of the swimming class he is taking. They said 2 of his strokes are not perfected. WTH? They asked him if he needed this class. Its required for a minor of athletic training majors and he said no, he just wanted the certification to teach etc. So they offered him a different class but he said he couldnt do it because of all his other class schedules. Oh well. We didnt know they would be so picky. He said half of the class is on the university swim team too. He was not the only one asked to leave, they said 2 more too. Gosh.

Most importantly...please pray for Alyssa. Just found out she has pneumonia and is on her second round of antibiotics. I guess its hard for her to fight it with all the anti rejection meds she takes for the heart transplant etc. Plus already her bodys state post leukemia etc. So prayers would be appreciated.

GAGWTA.
 
I had my second round of chemo with the Abraxene yesterday. My oncologist upped my dose this time since there weren't any problems after the first. I am feeling it already, unfortunately. I'm going for my Neulasta shot at Noon and I have hydration on Monday afternoon. I have also been saying goodbye to my hair, for the third time, this week. I expect it to by mostly gone in a few days.

Sha - I am glad to hear you are having such a good time on your trip. Must be different for you to be spending time with one of your DIS sistas at somewhere besides WDW!

Laurie - Sounds as though you are being the perfect LA hostess. Glad you're having fun with Sha!

MaryAnn - It's always fun planning a WDW trip, so don't put it off. It gets you into the spirit of the trip even if it's quite a distance away. I have no idea when I will be well enough for a trip, so I have to live vicariously through everyone else's trips and Meg's reports from work.

I hope everyone has a great week. I will probably not be on the board much until later next week. I might be trolling your comments, though. ;)
 
Lisa - :hug:. Thinking of you dear sista

Well dh is home. Glad he could see what I have had to put up with a certain ds.. I was crying and so exhausted yest. I think I feel asleep in my chair. We were going to go out to dinner but saw that was not a good idea under the circumstances. I have again asked dh to rethink the trip. I do not think it is a good idea to leave me alone with ds22 and all it entails both emotionally etc. I am sure praying for my child for sure.

Well today is a....party::rockband::jumping1::rockband::cheer2::banana::dance3:

Yes, its my 3 year cancerversary.

Praise God, 3 years ago today I had the surgery, well really 3 surgeries in 14 hours, 11 hours of surgery and I almost died and was in the coma for 2 days, but Praise God I am still here today!!

So everyone can have a virtual:cake: piece of cake to celebrate along.

Thanks for letting me hang out with you gals, for encouraging me and inspiring me every day and listening to me etc.

You sistas are the greatest. Blessings to you all always

GAGWTA
 
Lisa, I can't take the credit for the restaurant as it was Sha's sweetie's idea. But thanks for the compliment. I am working on Sha to come down for Jazz fest. Her sweetie is also a jazz fest lover. I hope that works out.

I hope the Neulasta shot and hydration tomorrow gives you a pick me up so you can enjoy this lovely sunshine weather, even if it is to lounge by the pool. Sorry about losing the hair again. I know that is beyond old.

I like just hearing about others' trips too, and pictures are even better. I am going to try and post a few more from my last trip.

I am off to meet one of the Apple geniuses again today at 3. We are working on setting up a big honking external hard drive to back the computer up via time machine. Had to transfer the files on the external thingy that were on it from the failed pc and the iMac wanted to reformat it.

Now the old files are on yet another smaller but portable external hard drive. The technology for this stuff marches on.

So off I go to drive yet another genius crazy although I think I have already hit all the current one-to-one guys. Maybe they will bring in more targets for me soon.

The guy who knows the most about pictures has the same camera as us, but the latest version. I am thinking of bringing my camera and getting him to work with me on the camera. He seems to know a lot and is willing to work on anything. It may be a golden opportunity until he finds a higher paying gig, so I am going to take the next opening during the week and specify pictures so I most likely will get him.

MaryAnn, when you mentioned talking to your DH again about a trip, are you referring to the New Zealand one? That did sound like an ambitious undertaking.

Congrats on your three year milestone. You go girl!:banana:

I am going to spend time with my mom as soon as I finish here. She heard from my brother in Costa Rica Friday and he is down on his luck. It was a difficult conversation and she is struggling.

DH and I went to the funeral of his co-worker's dad yesterday. His friend's brother gave an amazing speech about his dad. Not a dry eye in the house. I felt drained last night.

DH drove down to New Orleans this morning to work on DD21's car, more problems with the battery connection. He is taking her and her boyfriend to brunch, and then going to visit his mom. It is nice to be able to multi task while he is there. It is a an absolutely pristine day, could not be more beautiful. I took both dogs for long walks yesterday while DH went to the office for awhile. I need to do the same after I have my one-to-one at the Apple store.

Sha I hope you guys are enjoying this weather. You picked the perfect January weekend for this trip.

GAGWTA all you lovely ladies!
 
hello ladies, long time no see!!
Maryanne...
three years!! :yay::hug: that is so great! I am so sorry you are going through a hard time :( Believe me I know what it is like to have all the worst things in the world that can possibly happen to you, thrown onto you at the same time! It is impossible not to worry, but yes, you do need a break from it once in a while or you can end up like me, having a real break with reality :( it was a very scary time, and when I think about it now, and what I was thinking and feeling, I still can't believe it. I am going to my hubby's councillor now too, in fact she sees our whole family!! She will be able to retire after us.....
Things have been so busy for us, lot's of trying to help with our grand daughters and all, coping with the anniversary of our son's death. But things are going well for our daughter, so that is a huge relief for us, but there is still that little bit of fear. Hubby is having a bad time, both with it being the anniversary, and dealing with the workers compensation board, who want to send him to other people for assessment. We had a disasterous trip into the city to see a psychologist who did not show up for the appointment, and when the receptionist called him, he wanted us to drive across the city to see him, meaning we would be driving home after dark, in bad weather. It's a loooong drive, and a ferry ride, a good 4 hour trip. This so called professional said "I see it's just a psychological injury not physical so you should not have any problem getting here. sigh. I called hubby's case worker from the car and really gave him h e double hockey sticks.... he said just go home. Now they are going to fly someone into our community to see hubby. I said do you realise it's the one year anniversary of our sons death? what are you thinking? It's been 2 weeks and we have not heard anything so I think they realised and have backed off for a bit. But it will still have to be dealt with. It's been such a huge thing for me, learning to live day by day honestly not knowing what is going to happen, will I live or die, will anyone else in our family die, will our daughter be able to maintain her sobriety, how will we pay our mortgage now, what are we going to do about our retirement..... but I have learned you simply have to let it go. There are things you can not do anything about, and now I put my energy into doing things I know I can and that will help us (like bake a cake) lol...
I am hopefully getting my porta cath removed next monday, the spot on my liver, while they still don't know what it is, they are at least 95% sure it is not cancerous, so I get another MRI in march and if it's still the same we will pretty much ignore it. they got a look at the ta ta's at the same time which showed even more clearly than in September that there is nothin growing there, so I decided to make the glass half full decision to remove it. no more trips to the cancer treatment center every month to get it flushed will go a long way to making me feel better!
I still have not gotten my camera plugged into my computer to upload pics from our December trip! I don't know where the time has gone, but I feel like I am running to try and catch up every single day!
Lisa I hope you get through this batch with as little suffering as possible!
GAGWTA :)
 












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