No, no you didn't look at them close enough - it was Steve Irwin and his wife Terri (crocodile hunter).
What happened was they were in the Florida everglades huntin'
crocs when Terri got bored one day and ran across the disboards on her laptop. Unfortunately, the first threads she saw were the ones about the alligators at WDW and how some people were (gasp!) feeding them. She tried to tell Steve about this (just for conversation sake), but of course, he just HAD to take matters into his own hands.
Steve had his crew rush them up to WDW in their helicopter where they rapelled down a hanging rope ladder and dropped into Bay Lake near the Poly. (Ma Kettle, staying at the Poly and relaxing by the pool, saw their arrival. Ma said to Pa "Pa, that must be that parasailing I read about - can you believe people would rather do that than sit by the pool with a nice drink?" Unfortunately, Pa Kettle didn't see the landing and decided Ma had had too many 'specialty' drinks. He promptly took her room key away along with her charging privileges and left for a nap at their room.) In search of their elusive prey, Steve sniffed the water and led the way back behind the GF resort.
They gained entry to the MK park back behind Tom Sawyer Island where the train goes. They thought they might get some help from the native american indians at their camp but couldn't get any response from them. However, Steve thought he could read a clue in their smoke signals and headed toward the nearby Island.
They saw a canoe full of extremely uncoordinated people rowing around in circles. Steve immediately assessed the situation and decided it was extremely dangerous for them to be out there, so he commandeered their canoe, leaving them on the island.
Paddling on, he spotted land. When they saw a man wearing khaki camp clothes and an 'Indian Jones/Australian' type hat, Steve thought "this is my kind of guy, maybe he can help us'. When they asked the man where they could find the elusive reptile they were seeking, he said (with a wink) "follow me". (Unfortunately the man didn't recognize who they were.)
He took them over to an area with dense foliage and loaded them on a boat with alot of other people. (Terri thought this very strange but kept quiet.) Neither of them could understand why this man and the others on the boat were acting so laid back - even silly. Steve decided he had to take charge of the situation. After a brief struggle, he had Terri sit on the man and Steve steered the boat around the narrow waterways.
Finally! The prey! Steve jumped into the water and a struggle ensued. Suddenly, a huge shockwave ripped through Steve's body and the animal quit moving. (Having lived in the wild outback of Australia all his life, Steve concluded a freak lightening strike had hit the animal. But he sure had some strange innereds - looks like the beast had eaten an awful lot of metal - well, that just proved how strange a wild animals eating habits can become when humans interfere and try to feed them! Steve knew he really needed to stop this situation and find the other reptiles before it was too late for them. ) Thankfully, Steve himself had become immune to these "lightening" strikes and after shedding some tears in mourning over the dead creature, he and Terri left the other crying people on the boat and headed off to find other prey. (Maybe these americans aren't so bad after all, at least they have the decency to weep over the poor dead beauty.)
Finding their way to another body of water in the park, Steve spotted...Oh horror!... A child feeding a turkey leg to a 4 foot alligator. And the family stood by encouraging him! Steve wrestled the alligator, churning over and over in the shallow water to get the dreadful turkey leg from him. However, it had already swallowed it, so he knew what had to be done, he took their infant son from Terri's backpack and dangled him temptingly in front of the gator to distract him, then he was able to quickly hand off the child to Terri while simultaneously reaching down into the gators mouth to pull out the offensive human food. Next, he wrestled the other family's child to the ground and proceeded to lecture them on the evils of feeding wild animals.
Having properly instructed these foolish civilians, Steve and Terri moved on. (Unknown to them, park officials were starting to look for them.)
Steve noticed a building with pictures that indicated they might actually be holding a crocodile captive! Steve determined to release him. Terri and he slipped past all the people in line to see the creature and boarded a funny flying ship. (Strange americans) At this point, the park officials were closing in on them. Steve spotted two of them them two "ships" behind him and assumed they must be American reporters. He didn't want to deal with the media frenzy, being questioned about the "baby dangling" incident involving his infant son. So, he was ready to slip out of the ship - but wait! there was the beautiful crocodile - (Steve couldn't figure out why there were crocs here when all Terri had read about were alligators.) Oh well, this one was a beauty! And here were some more native americans! Steve KNEW he'd interpreted their smoke signals correctly - and here was the proof - they'd led him right to the elusive beast!
Steve waited until their ship entered the next room and then slipped out and stealthily made his way back to the croc. He left something to keep it occupied until he could lose the reporters and sneak back later.
After giving the "reporters" aka park officials the slip, Terri started noticing that Steve was behaving stranger than was normal for even him. Raving about finding some "Ice Gator" he had overheard someone talking about, Steve quickly had them backtrack their way out of MK the same way they came in. (This creature most definitely needed immediate medical attention - apparently it had a "cold in it's nose" due to being inhumanely kept in near blizzard conditions.)
They quickly swam over to the Poly but when walking by the pool they saw someone dressed "officially" and noticed a disturbance. Steve determined they should lay low for a few minutes so they jumped into the handy swimming pool. They watched as the officials dragged an older lady off - she was screaming that she really was a guest there and they should go to her room and wake up her husband.
Steve turned to the man beside him in the pool and asked what was going on. "Pool hopper" he said and then looked with suspicion at Steve and Terri's "park attire". Steve didn't know what pool hopping was but he sensed hostility. He and Terri made it to the parking lot and saw their way out - a tow truck was about to hook up a car with "for sale" signs all over it but the tow driver had stopped to watch the officials loading Ma Kettle into a police car. Steve and Terri jumped into the unsupervised car and drove off before the tow truck driver realized what was happening.
Having been in the wide open outback all his life, Steve was not used to these confusing road systems and began driving erratically, mumbling louder and louder about saving that $#@! elusive ICE GATOR. Terri tried to direct Steve by using landmarks but of course, HE knew better (being a man and all). Terri was sure they were driving back INTO this huge complex but at this point, cop cars surrounded them and amazed tourists looked on as cops wrestled Steve to the ground. It took 14 policemen and 7 stun guns.
The evening news had these reports:
Steve Irwin aka Crocodile Hunter and wife arrested today at WDW after creating havok in the MK park.
Park officials found the animatronic crocodile on the Jungle Cruise had shorted out and was completely destroyed - Michael Eisner announced that the cost to shut down the ride and replace the creature will be around $500,000 and it will take up to 3 years to open the attraction again.
Doctors say tests conclusively show that Mr. Irwin is suffering a brain disorder caused by bacteria he contracted when he inhaled water from the lagoon on disney property.
The Irwin's infant son was discovered by horrified guests dangling above the crocodile in the Peter Pan attraction.
The Jones family from New Jersey (sorry) has filed a lawsuit against disney for not stopping Mr. Irwin before he wrestled their young son. They are asking for $1 million dollars emotional pain and suffering (along with $3.95 for their lost turkey leg).
Terri Irwin is considering a lawsuit against disney to compensate for her husband's bacterial infection of the brain.
Disney is considering a lawsuit against the Irwin's for damage to the park. (Although a secret memo from Michael Eisner's office claims to be thrilled at the "publicity that you just can't buy!" Disney officials deny the memo is real.)
Ma and Pa Kettle from Oklahoma (sorry) are considering a lawsuit against disney for trama and unlawful eviction of a paying guest.
In small print, in the local paper a few days later:
The Kettle's, of Oklahoma have dropped their lawsuit against disney. They have come to an agreement, "terms sealed". However, Ma Kettle is rumored to have remarked to friends "Guess where we are vacationing every year for the rest of our lives?!)
Disney has come to an agreement with the Irwin's. All charges have been dropped by both sides.
The Jones' lawsuit is going forward.
In a separate announcement, WDW announced today that theme park
ticket prices will rise by $10 per person, effective immediately.
An australian newslink reported that the Irwin's Australian zoo is breaking all previous attendance records.
Breaking news on CNN: Lawyer Gloria Allred called a special news conference to announce that although furious she could not stop the Irwin's from returning to Australia with their infant son, she vows not to rest until child services saves both the boy and his older sister from the "completely irresponsible and dangerous parenting" the Irwins' are displaying. (Rumor has it Michael Jackson is secretly paying her fee to deflect attention away from HIS legal case. Unfortunately, it is only resurrecting the Michael/Paris hotel dangling incident.)
Rhonna
