DH...the scrooge

[KRFillion]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

 

[tsme]

My DH isn't very involved in the planning, but he does love Disney. I usually tell him what restaurants I'm making ADRs at & he just says "ok whatever you think, you know what I like". So don't worry about it too much if he's not that involved in the planning. Before you go, I would throw out a warning to him if he's a scrooge, that no grumpiness or complaining allowed if he didn't participate in the planning phase!

 

[abner1776]

My DW and your DH would get along very well..they both don't like WDW and they hate planning the trip but I am also more of a "wing it" type of person anyway when it comes to WDW.

If I were you I would just continue on your planning "merry way" and forget about DH. He is the one who will lose out and me thinks that once he sees your kids having a great time at WDW he may come around himself. Forcing the planning on him will just cause him to dig in his heels deeper and really make life miserable for you and the kids.

We husbands can be an ornery bunch at times and it's best to just leave us alone when that happens.

 

[dawnball]

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

This is my husband. But he also hates heat and humidity. We had an awful, terrible, no good, very bad first trip. He flew home early, and the mantra for family vacations was "anywhere but Disney!"

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

I'd find out what he -did- want to do on vacation. What makes it a good trip for him?

The second trip my DH came along on was much better. I knew what kind of rides he was interested in (and which he wasn't) - and we made sure to visit those when there were short lines. He wanted to spend time relaxing, so when lines started getting long and the parks got hot - we went to the pool. Then we'd go back at night. He needed a slower pace, (and fewer total days) and I had a better vacation when he was happier.

 

[pattibehan]

My DH is not very involved, but he trusts me ! I ask his opinion on restaurants, what to do..he likes to talk about it, but lets me make the decisions. As long as your hubby knows what he is in for, enjoy your planning!


Posted from DISboards.com App for Android

 

[Straughn]

Ok, if I read this correctly, this is your first trip to WDW. You have clearly done your homework and are in high planning mode. He hasn't a clue what this is all really about. So, rather than participate and possibly be blamed for a bad choice, he is deferring to you. Enjoy it and here is my similar, but not WDW related experience.

My husband did not want to cruise. He had an (uniformed) opinion about what a cruise vacation would be. To make a long story short, he agreed to go on one, most likely to prove to himself that he was RIGHT and therefore shut me up. Well, he proved himself WRONG. We had a great time and went on at least one cruise every year until he passed away. There wasn't an aspect of the planning, other than cabin location, that he didn't have a strong opinion on. Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

 

[thr33boys]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

My Dh was the exact same way last year - exactly! I knew he would be, I'd try to get his opinion and he just didn't have any interest. He said something to the effect it was so far in the future (5 months) that he had other things he had to worry about. I just let him be and did the planning. He turned the corner about a week to 10 days out and we were able to discuss the attractions. He really didn't care about ADR's or anything so that was ok. It was fun and nice to see him start to show some interest. I had to really convince him that it was a good time to go. He thought our youngest was too young. He just really didn't want to do Disney. He was great on the trip and we had a great time, so much so, we're headed back again this December - no convincing required. He's excited and looking forward to it just as I am and he even mentioned to someone recently that he I thought I was crazy doing so much planning last year but said he was happy I did.

I hope you get the same experience. Hang in there, there is hope!

 

[ibcrazie4dizney]

my dh dislikes Disney so much, he usually stays home and goes to work. I have learned that is ok. this way I get to plan what I want. every once and a while he does decide to go, he doesn't help at all with planning. sometimes he will stay back at resort instead of parks with us. but I usually find something he would like and plan it. two different places down there, he swam with dolphins, once with manatees. I don't like to do this stuff but I did planned it for him. he still talks about the manatees almost 12 yrs later. focus on the kids, dh will survive!

 

[jjl181]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

My DH is the exact same way! Doesn't want to hear about it, talk about it, would be happy if we never went again. But he knows I want to, and the kids enjoy it, so he goes and enjoys himself as much as he can muster.
He refuses to talk about dining, activities, etc. and leaves it all in my capable hands. If I ask, I hear 'do whatever you want'. And we go EVERY year!
I've learned that it's probably better this way. I can make a plan and not have him try to change it with things he comes up with. I do all the packing, so I pack the best things for him to bring. I tell him what the plan is for the day, when to be up, what park and restaurant we are going to. He realizes he can not complain because he didn't want to have any input.
This same man just bought us into DVC because he said it made 'the most sense'.
Good luck with your planning and if he truly does not want to participate in the planning, let it go. Maybe it will change in the future, and in the meantime, there are always the boards!

 

[DisneyFanSince71]

To the OP, I do all the planning for our trips, my DW doesn't do anything. However, planning is much easier when its only one person doing it instead of two..... so it could be worse.

I am having a hard time aligning the fact that your DH is paying (in part or in full) for a Disney vacation and he is a scrooge.

 

[KRFillion]

I am having a hard time aligning the fact that your DH is paying (in part or in full) for a Disney vacation and he is a scrooge.

Oh he is a scrooge. If it were up to him we would not do Christmas and birthday presents either. He even puts up a fight buying his own parents a gift at the holidays.

And not that this matters, but I am 100% paying for this vacation out of my own money that I have been saving for 4 years.

Thanks for all the replies, looks like I am not alone on this. I will keep planning everything until I can't plan anymore and he'll just have to live with the plans I come up with.

 

[kandb]

We have gone for the last 8 years, every year my husband says, "this is our last year here for a while, we come every year and it's the same rides." That's when I tell the kids to tell him they want to go back to Disney and will he come? He always, breaks down and says yes but to be honest, he's not crazy about some parts of the trip. What I do, is let him stay behind at the resort and have some adult cocktails, while we tour the parks and then he meets us for dinner and some rides. I always tell him "it's about the kids".

 

[lroger01]

I HAD a similar DH. We didn't go to Disney but had similar experiences an here is how I would handle a Disney trip with him:

I suggest you keep your trip as simple as possible such as:

One park per day
ADRs in the same park your in
Skip BBB this time and maybe the waterparks
Consider an extra such as golf or fishing if your DH is already into that.

Plan rope drop days and sleep in days (easiest to do 4 mornings and then 3 evenings with the 4th day doing both with a mid day break. Keep 1/2 to 1/3 of each day unplanned but have a list of options handy and do what you feel like doing at that moment.

Talk about the trip planning with the kids with DH in earshot.

Plan a local trip to the zoo, fair, or similar and get there at opening. Make sure to notice (and mention) how easy it is to tour when you're ahead of the crowds. Also pay attention to how long your crew can go before getting tired. Then try and keep your park time within that limit or extend it with in-park breaks.

When the time is right let DH know you did your best planning the trip but since you've never been there you might have missed some things and will need to figure it out as you go.

You can have a great trip if you keep it simple.

 

[luvmy3]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

When are you going?

 

[MichelleVW]

My DH is the exact same way! Doesn't want to hear about it, talk about it, would be happy if we never went again. But he knows I want to, and the kids enjoy it, so he goes and enjoys himself as much as he can muster.
He refuses to talk about dining, activities, etc. and leaves it all in my capable hands. If I ask, I hear 'do whatever you want'. And we go EVERY year!
I've learned that it's probably better this way. I can make a plan and not have him try to change it with things he comes up with. I do all the packing, so I pack the best things for him to bring. I tell him what the plan is for the day, when to be up, what park and restaurant we are going to. He realizes he can not complain because he didn't want to have any input.
This same man just bought us into DVC because he said it made 'the most sense'.
Good luck with your planning and if he truly does not want to participate in the planning, let it go. Maybe it will change in the future, and in the meantime, there are always the boards!

I was reading this thread to my husband the non planner non Disney guy and I read him your post and he said, "Did you write that?" Right down to the being his idea to buy into DVC because it just made sense!!

To the Op, do your planning talk on these boards, don't bore your husband with details. I tell my husband where and when we are going and let him go back to the room when he starts getting cranky. Sometimes I just leave him at home and he's ok with that too lol. We're going in December and he's not going to the parks with us. We have a 2 bedroom savannah view at AKL and he's going to chill at the resort and work out while we are at the parks.

 

[KRFillion]

When are you going?

We are going Jan 13 - 27. Staying at Bonnet Creek for 10 nights and then 5 nights in Clearwater. We are doing 6 days at Disney, 1 day at Discovery Cove, 1 day at Sea World and 1 day with no plans at all.

I tried to plan it so the evenings we have plans to stay late at the parks for the fireworks we have sleep in mornings the next day. ADR's are all in the parks we are at, except for our last night there. That day we are at MK and I plan to walk over to Chef Mickey's and then come back for Wishes.

Hopefully he is ok with these plans. He actually just went to the mall to find walking sandles before they go out of season, so something must be sinking in. This is a surprise trip for the kids so I can't openly talk about it, except to DH or on DIS.

 

[Maggie7313]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

My husband is very similar. The good news is that he does love it once we are there and is always willing to go back. He just can't deal with my (admittedly endless) chatter and list making and deciding what (not just where) we should eats months in advance.

He has been often enough that he appreciates my planning and will very occasionally ask to make sure we do something or other. And slightly more frequently that we skip parades and live stage shows involving singing (true grump - I swear I could hear his eyes rolling during Voyage of the Little Mermaid).

But he really doesn't participate in planning beyond an initial when, how long, and how much conversation. This is true for all vacations. If I really want his input on something, I email him overly dramatic PowerPoint presentations laying out the options because they make him laugh and usually result in an answer.

One final tip - if he really hates crowds, lines, and walking, you might want to at least discuss the virtues of rope drop. And if you haven't already, make sure you look at Josh's (EasyWDW.com) recommended parks and cheat sheets.

 

[jjl181]

Oh he is a scrooge. If it were up to him we would not do Christmas and birthday presents either. He even puts up a fight buying his own parents a gift at the holidays.

Are you sure we don't have the same husband? LOL!!!!
I thought I was the only to deal with that....

 

[phillymummer]

This is my hubby as well (what is it with you guys!?)

Our first trip, he wanted no part of the planning. He didn't care where we stayed, where we ate (no...I stand corrected.. he requested Germany in Epcot), which park we went to on which day. He didn't care about RD, FP, or strategies. It was not a magical first trip for many reasons, but his lack of understanding was a part of it.

He was a little more helpful during the planning of the second trip, but I kept questions to a minimum. I got some input on where he wanted to stay and where he wanted to eat and which parks he wanted to do. I tried to have as few conversations about planning as possible and tried to make them as short as possible and this made it bearable for both of us.

On the second trip he learned the value of using FPs (I don't think he will ever wait for BTMRR in stand-by again!!) and he also learned the value of having a bit a plan for something like the halloween party.

I hate to say it, but you may need to bite the bullet on this one and just go ahead and plan. Maybe he will come to understand the importance of somethings, even if it is too late. If you have to, send him back to the room to be a scrooge alone while you and the kids enjoy the parks. I really wish I had done this a couple of times on my previous trips.

On the next trip, I am going to make sure ahead of time that if he is overwheled, he is more than welcome to go back to the room while the rest of us have fun!

Good luck. Don't stress out too much about it. Go ahead with the plans and hopefully he'll be one board.

 

[jjl181]

I was reading this thread to my husband the non planner non Disney guy and I read him your post and he said, "Did you write that?" Right down to the being his idea to buy into DVC because it just made sense!!.

Haha! My DH came in the door and asked what I was doing. I said 'reading, nothing you care about'. His response? 'Oh, Disney stuff'