DH needs to GROW UP.

[Angelhalo]

And you are assuming she isn't.

Ding ding ding! All we can do is make assumptions based on what was posted and make our own opinions, none no less valid than the other.

 

[Poohforyou]

And you are assuming she isn't.

You're correct. The actual truth is rarely what is presented and that's the position I take in most of these types of threads.

 

[JessicaR]

Ding ding ding! All we can do is make assumptions based on what was posted and make our own opinions, none no less valid than the other.

Ding ding ding - seriously?

 

[sunshinehighway]

I think some people should look up the definition of the word told (tell) before they jump on the OP for telling her husband they should postpone the trip.

 

[JessicaR]

You're correct. The actual truth is rarely what is presented and that's the position I take in most of these types of threads.

Me too. me too.

 

[StephMK]

It's always interesting to hear different points of view because I would never think of a lot of what has been said.

In my family, if DH had an ill family member & told me we needed to cancel, I would support him fully. I feel certain I could do the same if it were my family and he would be equally in agreement. It's not like the trip was cancelled, it was moved a few months. If OP is upset over a ill/dying family member, is that really the type of vacation you'd want? In regards to family, DH & I are in agreement that we will do whatever the other needs when those times come.

OP, I'm sorry your DH didn't handle it well. Congrats on med school!!

 

[Angelhalo]

Oh no, you placed judgement. Period the end.

Oh! My apologies! I didn't know a stranger on a message board knows my own thoughts and feelings better than me!

I honestly do not judge her at all. I just have an opinion based on the pieces of the puzzle that she divulged. No more no less. If you think you know me better than I do, so be it.

It is definitely an interesting viewpoint though from someone who wishes for people to stop judging others. Oh the irony.

 

[leebee]

It's always interesting to hear different points of view because I would never think of a lot of what has been said.

In my family, if DH had an ill family member & told me we needed to cancel, I would support him fully. I feel certain I could do the same if it were my family and he would be equally in agreement. It's not like the trip was cancelled, it was moved a few months. If OP is upset over a ill/dying family member, is that really the type of vacation you'd want? In regards to family, DH & I are in agreement that we will do whatever the other needs when those times come.

OP, I'm sorry your DH didn't handle it well. Congrats on med school!!

 

[JessicaR]

Oh! My apologies! I didn't know a stranger on a message board knows my own thoughts and feelings better than me!

I honestly do not judge her at all. I just have an opinion based on the pieces of the puzzle that she divulged. No more no less. If you think you know me better than I do, so be it.

Huh, and yet you pretended to know hers.

 

[Angelhalo]

Ding ding ding - seriously?

Yes. As in hit the nail on the head, or you are correct sir, or way to go!

 

[Ember]

I don't know why so many people have a problem with the word "told" in this context. If I had family who was gravely ill, I would be saying, "We can't go on vacation right now," too. It wouldn't be a matter of discussing it or asking for opinions, it would be telling something. Just like if something happened and my DH had to tell me he wasn't able to travel for whatever reason. Of course, I would never have to tell DH that, because he would be well aware of the fact that someone I loved was sick and he would be the first one to say we shouldn't go. There would be no pouting.

I get why people have an inherent dislike of being "told" things, but this doesn't seem to fit the dominant/submissive stereotype people seem to be trying to make it fit. My DH just told me he would be late from work. Yesterday I told him not to stop on his way home because I had picked up milk already.

 

[Angelhalo]

Huh, and yet you pretended to know hers.

I'm not sure what you're reading at this point. You seem to just want to argue for the sake of arguing because you aren't even getting the story straight. I never pretended to KNOW anything. I said I gave an opinion based on what she gave us. And, as we all know, on a message board we are only getting one person's side of a story. I don't KNOW the OP in any way. Nor would I ever claim too. I just gave my opinion of what it "seems" like....pretty sure I used the word "seems" a few times. Which implies, not knowing.

 

[JessicaR]

I'm not sure what you're reading at this point. You seem to just want to argue for the sake of arguing because you aren't even getting the story straight. I never pretended to KNOW anything. I said I gave an opinion based on what she gave us. And, as we all know, on a message board we are only getting one person's side of a story. I don't KNOW the OP in any way. Nor would I ever claim too. I just gave my opinion of what it "seems" like....pretty sure I used the word "seems" a few times. Which implies, not knowing.

OK - if that what gets you through the day. My story is straight is just DIFFERS from yours.

 

[Angelhalo]

I don't know why so many people have a problem with the word "told" in this context. If I had family who was gravely ill, I would be saying, "We can't go on vacation right now," too. It wouldn't be a matter of discussing it or asking for opinions, it would be telling something. Just like if something happened and my DH had to tell me he wasn't able to travel for whatever reason. Of course, I would never have to tell DH that, because he would be well aware of the fact that someone I loved was sick and he would be the first one to say we shouldn't go. There would be no pouting.

I get why people have an inherent dislike of being "told" things, but this doesn't seem to fit the dominant/submissive stereotype people seem to be trying to make it fit. My DH just told me he would be late for work. Yesterday I told him not to stop on his way home because I had picked up milk already.

It's a personal thing. Each person feels differently about it. DH and I don't "tell" each other how anything is going to happen in a major situation. We discuss it. We may still come to the outcome that the person who "wants to be able to just tell"desires, but we still wouldn't just "tell" them what they're going to be doing. That's us. Everyone is different.

 

[diznygirl]

Really? A 5 page fight about assumptions?

Some people are bored tonight.

 

[krcit]

I'm picturing how the scenario would go in my house if this happened,

Me to husband "Aunt Mary is in bad shape, we are going to have to postpone the trip."

Husband to me "Of course."


I guess I'm an overbearing controlling wife because there really wouldn't be a discussion. If a relative(or friend) that I am close to was in danger of passing away, I wouldn't want to go on a trip and my dh wouldn't want me to go away and have a miserable time because of my heartache and worry.

 

[JessicaR]

I don't know why so many people have a problem with the word "told" in this context. If I had family who was gravely ill, I would be saying, "We can't go on vacation right now," too. It wouldn't be a matter of discussing it or asking for opinions, it would be telling something. Just like if something happened and my DH had to tell me he wasn't able to travel for whatever reason. Of course, I would never have to tell DH that, because he would be well aware of the fact that someone I loved was sick and he would be the first one to say we shouldn't go. There would be no pouting.

I get why people have an inherent dislike of being "told" things, but this doesn't seem to fit the dominant/submissive stereotype people seem to be trying to make it fit. My DH just told me he would be late for work. Yesterday I told him not to stop on his way home because I had picked up milk already.

Yes.

 

[Angelhalo]

OK - if that what gets you through the day. My story is straight is just DIFFERS from yours.

Haha! Ok then.

 

[Angelhalo]

Really? A 5 page fight about assumptions?

Some people are bored tonight.

I am bored, but I don't know about fighting. I'm more baffled than angry.

 

[JessicaR]

I'm picturing how the scenario would go in my house if this happened,

Me to husband "Aunt Mary is in bad shape, we are going to have to postpone the trip."

Husband to me "Of course."


I guess I'm an overbearing controlling wife because there really wouldn't be a discussion. If a relative(or friend) that I am close to was in danger of passing away, I wouldn't want to go on a trip and my dh wouldn't want me to go away and have a miserable time because of my heartache and worry.

Yeah, me too cause that same scenario would take place here.