DH dropped a bombshell on me Sunday night..

[Kit'smommy]

Dreams change...at least you are young enough to pursue having a child, if you want one.

I have one DS who is the light of my life.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

 

[castleview]

Good Luck!!!

 

[SaraJayne]

Good luck!

My sister had her first child a couple years ago ~ at the age of 37 and after 14 years of marriage.

 

[stichy]

DH and I wanted several children in the beginning. Before we had DS we decided to limit it to one so that we could still continue to travel frequently. I had no time conceiving after I went off the pill. First time out of the gate we got pregnant.

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

Good luck and best wishes...whatever you decide!

My brother and his gf are both 31, and have lived together several years. They both do not want children. I don't try to talk them into anything...one way or the other. They are still young...and may, or may not, change their minds. I'm happy as long as they are happy...whatever they choose.

Now me...I wasn't sure I wanted kids. That was decided for me two years after marriage when we had a birth control failure. I have a DS who is 9, a special needs DS who is 3, and my surprise pregnancy right now with a little girl.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

This is kind of my story too, without the ending yet. DH and I have tried to have kids since we got married (I was 22), but I've never gotten pregnant. We went to see a fertility doctor, but I have unexplained infertility. DH doesn't believe in fertility drugs, so we've just been under the "if it happens, it happens" mentality. I'm 31 now, so we've mostly accepted that we probably won't be having kids. But, I do get sad every few months about it. I still have this little hope in the back of my mind that I'll suddenly end up pregnant one day. And I know DH does too. I just keep telling myself to have faith and follow the path put in front of you.

To the OP, I say - if you feel like you want to pursue having kids after all this time, go for it. Maybe its your time to follow a new path. Good luck!

We are in a similar situation, I was 28 when we married, he was 23, we are now 37 and almost 32, we went through the trying, the fertility treatments, thinking about adoption and have finally decided that we need to be happy the way we are.

I don't think DH really wanted to have children when we were going through the fertility treatments, but now l think he has gotten to a point he is redy and we can't have children and we both get disappointed and then remember we have a WDW trip planned and are happy again.

Suzanne

 

[Kitzka]

I knew at a young age that it would be hard for me to concieve. Was seriously dating DH for 3 years when I got pregnant. DH was not ready to be DH at that point but I knew that i wanted to keep the child. We had DD and got married about 16 months after she was born. Since then we have done nothing to prevent getting pregnant again but have not been so blessed. We consider ourselves very lucky to have DD 12. We would love another one and if we are so blessed great but at this point we are use to just the 1 and that is what our family was meant to be.

Wouldn't trade DD for anything!

Lara

 

[Laura]

To ease your mind about the birth control: I was 32 when I went off the pill. I'd been on it for over ten years. Got pregnant on my second cycle. My GYN never indicated that long-term pill usage would interfere with my ability to conceive. While I was pregnant, I read that being on the pill that long can actually increase a woman's fertility right after she stops taking it. Some women who go off the pill and find they have messed-up cycles are quck to blame the pill, when it's more likely that the pill was simply masking infertility symptoms they would have had. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[savannahcat]

DH and I married when I was 22 and he was 30. Neither of us had ever wanted children and when we married, it was our agreement that we would not have children.

Fast forward six years. My father passed away and it totally changed my outlook on life. We went to dinner one night and were seated next to a family with several children. As I watched the kids, DH said "You want one, don't you?" Turns out, he had been feeling the same way.

We tried and got pregnant right away, but had a miscarriage. We had our first baby when I was 30 and the second just before I turned 33. There are still times when I wonder if I was truly cut out to be a mother, but I wouldn't change it for anything. All things considered, it's the best decision we ever made!

 

[JessicaR]

Well, it sounds like you're both on the same page. Wishing what you BOTH want comes your way.

 

[princesspiglet]

I was 23 when we got married in 1996 and we were very adamant about being child free. Fast forward to Dec 2001 and a fateful trip to Disney World. DH and I were in Epcot having a Grey Goose Slushie and watching all these adorable families walk by and be so excited by all the sounds and sights. He looked at me and said, "You want that, don't you". I shook my head yes and shed a little tear and he did also. Came home and went off the pill immediatly (after being on since I was 15). Got pregnant in Feb of 2002 (1 month later) and I was 29 when DD was born, DH was 35. We only have one child, but she is by far the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[PatriciaH]

Has anyone else been "child free" and made the switch..

No, actually the total opposite DH and I started out saying we would have as many kids as we could afford. I taught Montessori (3-6 year olds) and we both really liked children. As time went by we realized we LOVED our life with just the two of us! I see and hear daily all of the crap our friends and co-workers are going through and I do not envy them at all. Best decision we ever made to remain child-free! Most of our friends are as well. We are 40 now and have been together 16 years-married 14.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

Be sure that it is what you really want, but if you are both ready then go for it! Good luck!

 

[JulyGirl]

Here's my test to see if people want to have kids: Don't picture yourself with the sweet, beautiful baby decorating the nursery. Picture yourself 15 years from then with a High Schooler. If you still like the thought of it, then you are ready!

 

[PatriciaH]

Here's my test to see if people want to have kids: Don't picture yourself with the sweet, beautiful baby decorating the nursery. Picture yourself 15 years from then with a High Schooler. If you still like the thought of it, then you are ready!

Yep-or picture yourself with a special needs child.

 

[krcit]

I was 23 when we got married in 1996 and we were very adamant about being child free. Fast forward to Dec 2001 and a fateful trip to Disney World. DH and I were in Epcot having a Grey Goose Slushie and watching all these adorable families walk by and be so excited by all the sounds and sights. He looked at me and said, "You want that, don't you". I shook my head yes and shed a little tear and he did also. Came home and went off the pill immediatly (after being on since I was 15). Got pregnant in Feb of 2002 (1 month later) and I was 29 when DD was born, DH was 35. We only have one child, but she is by far the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Good luck with your decision!

That is such a nice story!

 

[mrsltg]

OP, I am different than you in that I always knew I wanted kids. However, DH was content with the older two dd's. He absolutely did not want another one. When the stick showed a very dark and surprising second line I burst into tears! After all, my dh was adamant he did not want another child. When I showed him the stick he smiled so wide I swore I never knew he had so many teeth! Through the tears I said, "I thought you didn't want another baby?" He answered, "I don't want another baby. I want THIS baby!" I guess the bottom line is - GO FOR IT! Everyone is scared when they are having kids - how can you not be? I can tell you for certain, 20 years from now you will not regret having had a baby. I can't say it's true in the reverse.

Also, I am one of those women who came off the pill and BAM! I was pregnant immediately. I am truly grateful for that fortune. I wish you the same!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I was 23 when we got married in 1996 and we were very adamant about being child free. Fast forward to Dec 2001 and a fateful trip to Disney World. DH and I were in Epcot having a Grey Goose Slushie and watching all these adorable families walk by and be so excited by all the sounds and sights. He looked at me and said, "You want that, don't you". I shook my head yes and shed a little tear and he did also. Came home and went off the pill immediatly (after being on since I was 15). Got pregnant in Feb of 2002 (1 month later) and I was 29 when DD was born, DH was 35. We only have one child, but she is by far the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Good luck with your decision!

OP, I am different than you in that I always knew I wanted kids. However, DH was content with the older two dd's. He absolutely did not want another one. When the stick showed a very dark and surprising second line I burst into tears! After all, my dh was adamant he did not want another child. When I showed him the stick he smiled so wide I swore I never knew he had so many teeth! Through the tears I said, "I thought you didn't want another baby?" He answered, "I don't want another baby. I want THIS baby!" I guess the bottom line is - GO FOR IT! Everyone is scared when they are having kids - how can you not be? I can tell you for certain, 20 years from now you will not regret having had a baby. I can't say it's true in the reverse.

Also, I am one of those women who came off the pill and BAM! I was pregnant immediately. I am truly grateful for that fortune. I wish you the same!

 

[Kronk's girl]

I would suggest you sit on this idea for a while and really let it soak in. My sister has never wanted to have children. She and her husband are reaching their mid 30's and they both had a little panic moment recently and thought maybe they did want them. They thought about it for a few months and then decided it was a moment of insanity and that yes, they do not want children.

I don't think being a parent is for everyone, but unfortunately our society puts pressures on people to think that once they get married babies "should" follow whether you want to be a parent or not. I am proud of my sister for doing what is right for them and not what her friends or other people try to tell them they should do.

Get a dog, potty train it, deal with the various messes and accidents and waking up at the crack of dawn to walk him and feed him and if you love that, then go for it

I on the other hand have wanted to be a parent my whole life, I want to clean up their throw up, change dirty diapers, go to the school meetings, spend all day driving them to school and soccer practice, put them on time out and yes even deal with them during the "I hate you, mom" teenage years. But unfortunately my Dh and I haven't been able to get pregnant. We hope it happens soon and if it does , if it doesn't, we will find other ways to be happy.

Do what is right for the two of you and the future you desire, and you will be happy

 

[malibuconlee]

Haven't ready the whole thread, but we went thru a similar situation. We were married for over 9 years before we started trying.

My suggestion, make an appointment with your gyno and discuss the fact that you are wanting to try. That's what we did. We did have a period of time where we "let what happen happen and nothing did. Then I had some issues and ended up on the pill. 7 years went by before we decided that we were ready to have a baby.

After hearing that the doctor said he'd only make we wait 3 cycles before starting fertility stuff. I waited until after our 10th anniversary trip which was 7 months later. Came home ready to make that appointment and instead got a positive test a couple of weeks later.

Good luck and congrats. Start taking extra folic acid right away!