Deranged Wishes..

[MerMom60_94]

Wish granted but when you meet him he has laringitis and cannot sing for you. Plus, he mistakes you for his personal valet and just orders you around a lot and sends you on ridiculous errands.


I wish someone would bring breakfast in bed to me.

 

[disney365]

Granted, but the toast is burnt, the cereal is stale, the milk is sour, and there are no doughnuts.

I wish I was at Disneyland right now.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Wish granted, but instead of being there as a guest you are there as a CM. Your job is to follow the horse drawn carriage with a broom up and down Main Street.

I wish I could retire.

 

[WalkingintheFog]

:Granted! But that's the same thing your husband wished for. And now he's home all the time, in your way, and hogging the remote in the daytime AND the nighttime. And worse, his buddies had the same wish grant and they're over alll the time!


I was going to wish for a husband... but maybe not.
I wish my front door opened into Disney world... right at the front of Magic Kingdom!

 

[MerMom60_94]

Wish granted but the DW guests keep walking through your door and helping themselves to the use of your bathroom because they feel they just cannot wait in anymore lines - least of all a restroom line.


I wish someone would massage my back.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Granted, but the Massues doesn't know her own strength and breaks your back and now you are in a full body cast.

I wish someone would make my bed for me.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Granted, but before they do they decide to have a snack of juice and crackers on your bed and get crumbs everywhere. When they make the bed they don't brush off the sheets first.


I wish someone else would offer to host the next holiday.

 

[WalkingintheFog]

Granted! I'll host your Easter Sunday Dinner!
So, let's see, if I leave the turkey on the counter overnight it will thaw AND get a bit warm so I won't need to cook it at such a high temp or very long.
Oh. Don't mind the dog, she alway does that thing with ankles.. did I mention she's in heat..


I wish my neighbour nextdoor would turn down his radio...and that the kid next to him would stop practising with his band.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Wish granted. The neighbor turns down the radio and the kids stop practicing with the band because now they go LIVE for First Annual Canadian Backyard Battle of the Bands and your neighborhood is now overrun with groupies coming to cheer their bands on in the competition two doors down.


I wish I were a fourteen year old again.

 

[WalkingintheFog]

Wish granted. The neighbor turns down the radio and the kids stop practicing with the band because now they go LIVE for First Annual Canadian Backyard Battle of the Bands and your neighborhood is now overrun with groupies coming to cheer their bands on in the competition two doors down.

Actually... funny you should say that! Apparently MY house was rented out for a few years before I bought... and it was the party house. The neighbours tell me of the parties where the occupants actually rented those port-a-potties to put in the back yard during the parties. I've owned for 6 years and I'm still finding beer bottle caps in the back yard.

I wish I were a fourteen year old again.

Granted! Zits, acne, hormones, homework, ugly outfits for gym class, stupid boys and mean girls all over again (but you also get to wear a fringed leather jacket and bellbottom jeans).

 

[MerMom60_94]

You must have tolerant neighbors. Anything you do now should be just fine since it will never be as bad as the previous occupants. You could get away with just about anything!

Are you out of wishes?

 

[WalkingintheFog]

oops!
I wish I didn't forget to do things!

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Granted, but because you now remember everything your head has swelled up to the size of Jimmy Neutron and your hats no longer fit and you have to wear button up shirts.

I wish the driveway was paved and not gravel.

 

[WalkingintheFog]

Granted!
But now the rain on the driveway has frozen, and you've slipped and fallen, and broken your back. Too bad... you were just on your way to the airport for the DisCruise you won.


I wish I lost 30 pounds.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Granted. You are on YOUR way to the DiscCruise when the airport lost your luggage - 30 pounds of clothes, essentials and extra spending money.

I wish someone would send me some Mrs. See's candy. Dang I have a craving for that West Coast chocolate.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Wish granted but when the candy arrives it is a melted sticky mess and is totally inedible. Worse yet, the candy was sent cash on delivery so you have to pay for the shipping charges.


I wish I had a limo to take me home tonight so I didn't have to drive in the rain.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Granted - but you have to share with 3 teenage couples, all hormone drenched, hyped-up on pre-prom emotions. And you have to pay for it all. And they drop you off LAST.

I wish we could do something fun for Spring Break.

 

[MerMom60_94]

You did something really fun on spring break at Daytona and now.....it's all over the internet! The good (or not) news is that you have broken the record for number of hits on Youtube for a single video clip - it's that bad. (What were you thinking???)

I wish we could open the pool for the summer.

 

[donaldduck352]

Granted-but the ducks took over thinking its A small pond.

I wish when I walk my dog she don't pull me like A sled.