What types of things can we do now to prepare if DH deploys in the next year for first deployment?
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What types of things did others do?
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Deployment prep... Gotta say, I don't miss it. I got pretty good at it for a while. I wish no one had to do it anymore. But - since you have to deal with it, here's my (possibly outdated since it's been 5 years) two cents:
1. Day to day finance stuff. I read above that you handle all that, so it should be easy. Keep in mind that he's going to want some money at some points (whether it's just during travel or he has access to the PX, or R and R will depend on his assignment and command). Think about how best to handle it so you don't get caught unawares.
2. Vehicle stuff. I thought I was on top of everything, since I handled all the finance and mail in our normal life. Turns out I totally missed registering the truck. We didn't realize that while I handle the mail, I never actually had to register a vehicle. It's not hard, it just wasn't on my radar for a deployment. Never happened again! So - just try to think through those types of things.
3.Contact. Depending on his assignment, his contact with home may be limited. My DH called me 99 times out of 100. I loved it, but it meant I had to keep the rest of his family in the loop. They needed to know he was ok almost as much as I did. Try to figure it out if that will be your role too - and it if is, make sure you have the information you need. Email was a lifesaver for me to accomplish this.
4. Big finance stuff. Determine together what money you can spend. Is he planning on having all his allowances, etc sitting in a bank account when he comes home so he can play? Are you planning on using that money to update the house, buy a new car, eat out every night? Are you both ok with you spending none of the above the ordinary pay monies on anything so you can pad your bank accounts? This was the single biggest argument couples in my DH's unit had upon return. Where's my money - or it's my money I should be able to spend it. Try to think about it ahead of time.
5. Holidays and special occasions. Is he going to be upset if you don't spend Mother's day with his mother? What about Christmas? Are you "allowed" to go to that big 4th of July party with all that beer.... Anything that might strike either one of you as odd, it might be a good conversation to have. Really the only thing we put limits on was he expected me to be at the homecoming for any of his troops, and to visit any of his troops spouses if they were in the hospital. We didn't have limits on where i could go - but I had friends who did. There was some history at a certain bar, so he asked her not to go there. She said ok. It wasn't a big deal - but it was a specific request.
6. Do you want him to record something for you? Maybe a book or a personal message? Video of DH was difficult for me - and real time video I only did once and would never do it again. I liked talking to him, but seeing him without being able to touch him was horrible. A lot of folks loved it though - so maybe he can make a "i love you" video for you.
7. Give yourself permission to live that year that he's gone. You'll be sad and lonely, but your life doesn't have to stop. It doesn't mean you don't miss him if you're having a good time without him.
8. Give both him and you some breathing room before he leaves. YOu'll want to spend all your time with him, and he will too. but remember there's probably other family and other hobbies that he'll be leaving. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you if he wants to go fishing or to the big game with friends or spend the day with his dad and little brother two weeks before he leaves.
My best advice is simply that this too shall pass. Prepare what you can. realize that you'll forget something, but you'll be ok.
Good luck!
) deployment right now. We were given lots of workbooks, and information on what we need. As for Christmas, we did the same thing as we packed up this year. I put the stuff I would want in a few totes, and the rest will be packed deeper away.
I had no idea what to do. I did not know where the shut off was to the house. I called Lowes and spoke to my plumbing guy. I was frantic. He told me to search in the yard for a small metal cover not far from the street. Thank goodness for wireless phones (oh, and have a traditional phone for in case electricity goes out). So, as I had him on the phone, he explained what I was to look for and then use a wrench to turn the valve off. Ok, I figured that out, but then I had to find a wrench (make sure the tools are organized and that you have the basics). Went back out to the valve and was not strong enough to turn it. None of my neighbors were home. I was a crying mess in my front yard as I tugged and tugged and finally, it loosened and I was able to shut the water off!
