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[mommyaof2]

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[deedeetoo]

So how many tickets does he get? You've already accounted for 5. Maybe that's all he has. Some school really don't have much space to seat people.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

If he has no more tickets what should he do?

 

[prplcrzy]

My nephew just graduated and he was only allowed 5 tickets so people had to get excluded. Sounds like that's what your stepson got too.

Sorry that this doesn't help you out, just wanted to let you know that other families are going through the same things.

I think you should still go to the graduation, you could always tape it for your girls to watch later. Maybe they'll think it was boring and be glad they didn't have to sit through it.

Nancy

 

[mommyaof2]

He got 7 tickets and they raffled for 2 more each and he didn't put his name in the raffle. Maybe he is just being a brainless teenager, but his sisters are really upset, this is my main problem.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What did he do with the other 2 tickets?

 

[catne]

You may be over reacting - the limiting of family seats is very, very common...even in fairly small schools. And how many seats did he get, anyway...that is the big question. If he was allowed 7 seats & gave them all to friends, I'd say be upset, but if he gave them to his choice of close relatives, so be it. I know one of my nephew high school graduation was held in a large auditorium, but his school was so big, they still only allowed 4 tickets per student, so any kid with divorced & remarried parents that's all they could invite. If a kid had 2 parents & 2 sets of grandparents, at least 2 grandparents were left out. My niece just graduated and her school only allowed 6 seats per student...her parents are divorced, so she has 3 parents/step parents, as well as 3 siblings & 4 grandparents & 2 great-grandparents...12 "close" relatives not counting all the aunts, uncles & cousins. But she could only have parents & siblings...no grandparents at all at the ceremony. Just have a big party afterward for all the extra relatives (and actually, we've found most of the relatives prefer going to the party, not the long, hot boring graduation.)

As for not putting in for extra seats, that sounds like a typical brainless teenager. And he probably thought he was doing the sisters a favor by not getting tickets for them.

 

[mommyaof2]

What did he do with the other 2 tickets?

I have no idea. The only thing he told us is that we are getting 2 tickets. I can only guess that 1 is for his mom and 2 are for his grandparents. If I had to guess I would say his aunt and her husband, but I am not sure about the other 2. I think it stinks that schools do this to families anyways.

 

[mamaLori05]

Yes, sorry, I think you are over reacting too. They are only allowed a certain number of tickets, and it seems like he divied them up pretty fairly to me. He probably had a hard time deciding himself, so I would give him a break. I'm not sure how they do it at his H.S, but some of them have tickets for seats, but other people are allowed to still watch, just outside the stadium. Maybe that is an option?

 

[ERMama]

It does suck but honestly, there really is only so much space in the auditoriums and such usually. For safety and fire codes, the schools HAVE to limit the number of attendants.

Are you having a party or celebration for him that his sisters can go to?

Can you explain to the girls that quite honestly, the ceremony itself is pretty boring and whats more important is focusing on congratulating him when they can?

 

[sunsprinkle24]

My guess would be that he probably thought the girls would be bored. It may have been really hard for him to pick who he would invite, too. I wouldn't be offended.

 

[Magic Mom]

He's a teenage boy on the verge of "semi" adulthood. He probably has a lot on his mind and everyone's feelings were the last thing he was worrying about. You should give him a break.
In 10 years he will probably look back and wonder what he was thinking. If your DD's feel hurt, maybe you could gently ask DSS to talk to them about it. He might not even realize they wanted to be there.

 

[tarheel618]

Maybe the girls could help plan a family graduation celebration. Being a child of divorced parents is hard. I'm 38 and I still struggle to make sure no one's feelings is hurt but sometimes it can't be helped and I'm sure he is not doing this to be mean. Please don't add extra stress to him.

 

[Magic Mom]

Maybe the girls could help plan a family graduation celebration. Being a child of divorced parents is hard.

That's a great idea!

I'm 38 and I still struggle to make sure no one's feelings in hurt but sometimes it can't be helped and I'm sure it is not doing this to be mean. Please don't add extra stress to him.

I agree, I still deal with that too.

 

[carj]

I think that since tickets are limited, I would just try to move on. My DH graduated from college in 2007. He had 10 tickets. We felt that it was very important that OUR children attend because we had all sacrificed to make that graduation happen. (They were 3 and 6 at the time.) His parents each got a ticket, his brother and SIL and my parents. He has a sister with a husband and 3 kids. It was tough but he asked her to come and asked her family to attend the pre-party. (The graduation was at 8pm so we did our party before.)

In my opinion, this is not a slight to you or your children. There were limited tickets, he gave them to the people who he wanted to attend. It is possible that he thought that his sisters would be bored.

It is his graduation, and though he did not distribute the tickets the way that you might have wanted, he did give one to you! That says something about how he feels about you. Try to not focus on the fact that your girls are not going. Make the event about him and enjoy the day!

 

[DisneyBeagle]

I don't know how old your daughters are, but I went to my sister's graduation when I was 11 and I was BORED OUT OF MY MIND. I would just tell your daughters that there is limited seating and he couldn't invite everyone. Hopefully, there will be some sort of a party that the sisters can attend. If not, maybe have the sisters throw their brother a party.

 

[mommyaof2]

Thanks to all of you. You really have helped me see it a little differently. I can't help it though, I tend to defend my girls when they get their feelings hurt and that is just natural as a parent. I don't want to hurt him though. He is my child too, blood or not related. I will go to the graduation and planning a celebration with the girls is a great idea that I didn't even think about. I just don't know how to deal with a teenager. My girls are still young and I have a brother not much older than my stepson (my husband is 10 years older), I am just not good at dealing with it sometimes. I do my best though and have always tried to be there for him. I guess I was overracting and I knew if I was that you guys would be honest and tell me. My dh and I will just explain to the girls that it is more of a grown up event and they would be bored. Family is just really big to me and us being split for this big event in his life is a little hard. You guys are right though, I am sure it was not easy being only to invite a few. Thanks again. You guys have calmed me down.

 

[tarheel618]

You're welcome. I think you can have a ball with your girls making cupcakes and picking out things for the party, making signs and such. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Maybe just a special meal with your family but they do the planning.They will feel included and proud that they put together a party for their big brother.

 

[carj]

I'm glad that you are feeling better about it! I think that it is hard and very easy to get your feelings hurt, in any family but especially blended families so I think that many of us understand.

I bet your girls will be happy to help make the celebration special!

 

[sdoll]

I am sure being a step parent is hard but I can tell you being a step child is hard too. I had this problem when I graduated from college. I only got 6 tickets. I invited my parents (mom and step dad), my grandparents that were a huge part of my life and were always there for me (my dad was not always there for us) I am sure that is not the case for you and when it came down to it I invited my old brother and sister. I was lucky I was able to get one ticket for my dad. But I agonized for months about it. I will tell you he probably was not thinking. I would be hurt too if I was you. but he is in a tough spot too. Like other posters have said your daughters will be very happy just going to the party and will only feel slighted if they get that feeling from you. They will understand that there is a limit. Good Luck. I feel for you.