• !$xf.visitor.user_id

Deep Breaths, an update on Caitlyn and I.

Robin

<font color=green>I don't want any cookies!<br><fo
Joined
Aug 19, 1999
Messages
452
As most of you know, my husband Dan ended his life on the 5th. I had expected his time to be limited (due to cancer) but was preparing myself to deal with a natural cause of death. Dan had not been in contact with his family for over 8 years when he died, they have now come out of the woodwork and have been very supportive. We had the memorial service last Thursday and all went very well. I think over all I am handling things pretty well, I am back in my apartment and feel secure there. Caitlyn continues to handle things very well, she cries sometimes and I try to reassure her that it is ok to do so. I find myself eager to go to sleep at night... half expecting to wake up to a different reality. Mornings are very hard.. I wake up knowing that he is gone, and the last time I saw him flashes into my mind. I started back to work yesterday, it seems to help when I stay busy... my boss has cut my work load down a lot and will slowly build me back up, I can't fully concentrate and need to ease back into the everyday grind.

On a sick and twisted note I will list my top ten things NOT to say to someone that has just lost a loved one. *Yes, these things have actually come out of peoples mouths in the last week*

10. "What are you planning on doing with Dan's office furniture? I can make you an offer."

9. "My brother wears the same size clothes as Dan did.... I can come pick some stuff up tomorrow."

8. "Does Caitlyn know he is dead, or are you just telling her he went on a business trip"?

7. "Dan sure did love Caitlyn, but didn't say much about you"

6 "Do you think you pushed him over the edge"?

5 "How much life insurance money are you getting, the reason I am asking is because I want to start a business"

4 "Isn't this just the perfect day"?

3 "Can you pick up my sister's friend's fiancé at the airport, she is coming to see the football game"?

2 "You don't have to pay for my meal but it would be nice"

1 "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died about 6 months ago"
 
Robin...{{HUGS}}. I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this horrible time.

And I can't believe what some of those insensitive jerks said. Holy cow, what idiots :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
for you and your daughter...i'm glad to hear that you are doing alright given the circumstances...i know it's not easy...
 
{{{hugs}}} to you & to Caitlyn. She's very lucky to have a Mom like you to help her through this.
Usually when people say awkward things during a time like this they can be chalked up to their not knowing what else to say, but none of the things you mentioned qualify as just a small faux-pas. I can't believe that those things were actually said to you:eek: :eek: {{{hugs}}} again!!
 

:( :( :(
Robin - I didn't know that Dan had passed - I'm so sorry for yours & Caitlyn's pain.....I can't imagine how you must be feeling.....
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you & I will keep you & your daughter in my thoughts......
 
Robin - again I am so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs for you and caitlyn}}

I can't believe those people... I don't even know what to say about them...:mad:
 
Again, I'm so sorry, Robin.

Those are amazingly insensitive things to say. Maybe one day, you'll look back at them and find a little gallows humor.

Take care, dear. {{{hugs}}}
 
(((Hugs))) I can't believe how insensitive some of those things are.
 
Glad to hear that you are getting some emotional support from Dan's family. I know that I have been in the awkward position of making some of the type of remarks that you listed on your top 10 list. It's so difficult to talk normally with someone who has just lost a loved one. You try not to make any references that might be hurtful only to blurt out the stupidest things imaginable. Stay close to your daughter as I'm sure she will bring you the most comfort in the coming days. I will continue to keep you two in my thoughts and prayers.
 
{{{HUGS}}} I know we don't know each other, but I've been thinking of you & Caitlyn. Glad to hear you are getting support from family, friends & especially at work. Take care.
 
{{{HUGS}}}} I am sorry for your loss. And the nerve of some people- I dont even know what to say about them--
 
Again, I am very sorry about your loss.

People DO say the stupidest things. I am very glad you are able to take them in stride.

Take care of yourself and Caitlyn . . .
 
{{{HUGS}}} to you both. I can not believe hoe insensitive people can be:(
 
Hi Robin. To see you posting is most encouraging. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. :( I'll continue to keep you and Caitlyn in my thoughts and prayers. {{{hugs}}}
 
{{{Hugs}}} You and Caitlyn have been in my prayers and will continue to be. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with such insensitive comments. I don't know why people can be so stupid when it comes to stuff like this. I hope that you are getting the support that you need from your friends and family.
 
{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Sometimes people can be very insensitive and I don't think they mean to be so :( They just are.

Remember that we are always here if you need to talk.
 


Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE








DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter

Back
Top Bottom