Debt Dumpers - 2019

ruadisneyfan2

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 20, 2006
I think it’s a euphemism for “He’s not been a loyal devoted husband.” which can be taken any way you can imagine because the point is that the poster is sad that their daughter is sad. This is where we express empathy while recognizing that none of us will ever know the whole story.
Yes I understand and wasn’t wanting or needing the full story. I must have missed the part when I first read it that said she was moving back home. Whatever it was, it was enough for her. It’s heartbreaking any time we see our kids upset. All you can do is be supportive and offer assistance.
 

crazycatstacy

Mouseketeer
Joined
Sep 22, 2013
Wait, when you say talking to other women, do you mean something else? I am being naive? My hubby talks to all kind of friends, old & new, male & female, neighbors & FB. Yet I never have had a reason to suspect anything else. I tease him that it seems like his every day mission in life is my happiness. :love2:
talking inappropriately. He has sent and received nude pics, attempted have intimate relations with some, and discussed having a relationship with others. Completely different that just talking to people
 

Bamaclan4

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
talking inappropriately. He has sent and received nude pics, attempted have intimate relations with some, and discussed having a relationship with others. Completely different that just talking to people
I hate that your daughter is going through this. I pray for healing for your daughter and strength and wisdom for you as you help her through this like only a mama can do.
 
  • imbatman

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 29, 2017
    Budget interrupted as my old girl dog had to meet the rainbow bridge this morning. She was over 15 and brought us lots of joy.

    As a side note, I went to the local public clinic for this service ($70). They ladies there were phenomenal and guided me through everything while I wept. The vet we use and several others I called wanted a "wellness visit" prior to putting her to sleep. The lowest vet cost was $169 and the highest was $189 (both of those are without taxes). First off, not an easy decision. Secondly, price gouging during this heartbreaking time is pretty crappy.
     

    pblack

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 30, 2017
    @crazycatstacy sending lots of positive vibes for your daughter. I can only imagine how heartbroken she is. It's so great that she has a loving family to lean on.

    @imbatman i'm sooo sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and healing vibes. :hug:
     

    DisneyMandC

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 18, 2015
    I hope things are getting better for you and your grandmother.
    :hug:
    Each of these things separately make life difficult but all at once is enough to make you lose it. Can you take some time off work or work from home to get caught up? I only suggest this because I can never do my job from home and half of my stress when life gets stormy is that I can't really make personal calls from work either. I get up at 5:30am and get home at 5:30 pm which leaves very little time to deal with what I need to do. This is when I delegate to dh.
    Sorry, it's been such a busy week that I'm just now seeing this. Thanks for the kind words! Week has largely been worse, but I'm feeling slightly better today. The heat pump appears to be fixed and I only had to yell at the HVAC company twice when they tried to cancel on my two separate times on Tuesday. They finally showed up at 4 pm and were there until 7 pm fixing it. They said one of the guys who had installed our heat pump missed a massive freon leak in the lineset and has since been fired. Tuesday was also election day in my state, and my boss was running for reelection. He lost. So my coworkers and I spent all night Tuesday and all day yesterday wondering if we were going to be fired come January 1, which is often pretty standard practice for when our types of jobs changes hands in the political spectrum. Fortunately, we are all breathing a little easier today as my boss-elect was quoted in the newspaper saying that she would not be cleaning house or bringing in a bunch of her own people and firing us.

    My grandma is... not doing great. Physically, I think she's probably ok, but I think she's really just lost the will to live. And honestly, I can't say I blame her. She'll be 98 years old in February, all of her siblings and friends are dead, and my grandpa died 25 years ago. While she has a huge amount of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she's quite frankly just tired of being alive. She's been telling us for years now that she's lived too long. I think it's a real shame that we can't allow mentally competent elderly people to make the medical decision to pass on peacefully. She's at peace with her life and is ready to go, but, unfortunately, her body is still in great shape and won't give out.

    Budget interrupted as my old girl dog had to meet the rainbow bridge this morning. She was over 15 and brought us lots of joy.

    As a side note, I went to the local public clinic for this service ($70). They ladies there were phenomenal and guided me through everything while I wept. The vet we use and several others I called wanted a "wellness visit" prior to putting her to sleep. The lowest vet cost was $169 and the highest was $189 (both of those are without taxes). First off, not an easy decision. Secondly, price gouging during this heartbreaking time is pretty crappy.
    I'm so sorry about your dog. That's just heartbreaking and so tough. What a great long life she lived though!
     
  • jen7233

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 1, 2005
    My grandma is... not doing great. Physically, I think she's probably ok, but I think she's really just lost the will to live. And honestly, I can't say I blame her. She'll be 98 years old in February, all of her siblings and friends are dead, and my grandpa died 25 years ago. While she has a huge amount of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she's quite frankly just tired of being alive. She's been telling us for years now that she's lived too long. I think it's a real shame that we can't allow mentally competent elderly people to make the medical decision to pass on peacefully. She's at peace with her life and is ready to go, but, unfortunately, her body is still in great shape and won't give out.
    That is so hard for her, and for you and family. Recovery from surgery can be rough, and then when you're elderly, it can be really so difficult physically and also mentally, maybe because of the physical difficulty from it as in the body doesn't recover quite as fast. Then maybe that spirals back to how they feel mentally because it's so physically difficult, and just all becomes overwhelming. When my dad had a major fall in his early 80s, he broke several bones, went through a long long recovery period. He just was never quite the same after, the recovery was long and hard, though he still lived another six years, I feel like I lost him truthfully from that fall back six years ago prior to his passing rather than in 2018.
    Budget interrupted as my old girl dog had to meet the rainbow bridge this morning. She was over 15 and brought us lots of joy.
    I'm so sorry to hear about your dog! That is a long time, I'm sure she brought lots of love and character to your home and will be greatly missed.
     

    DisneyMandC

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 18, 2015
    That is so hard for her, and for you and family. Recovery from surgery can be rough, and then when you're elderly, it can be really so difficult physically and also mentally, maybe because of the physical difficulty from it as in the body doesn't recover quite as fast. Then maybe that spirals back to how they feel mentally because it's so physically difficult, and just all becomes overwhelming. When my dad had a major fall in his early 80s, he broke several bones, went through a long long recovery period. He just was never quite the same after, the recovery was long and hard, though he still lived another six years, I feel like I lost him truthfully from that fall back six years ago prior to his passing rather than in 2018.
    Yup, I think that will be her. Unfortunately, we had no option but to do the surgery because they said otherwise she would just be in extreme pain until she died. I wish she could just pass away peacefully during the night. I know that would make her happiest.
     

    ruadisneyfan2

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 20, 2006
    talking inappropriately. He has sent and received nude pics, attempted have intimate relations with some, and discussed having a relationship with others. Completely different that just talking to people
    I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for you to explain further. I'm a little dense sometimes. I'm sorry your family is going through this.
     
  • ruadisneyfan2

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 20, 2006
    My grandma is... not doing great. Physically, I think she's probably ok, but I think she's really just lost the will to live. And honestly, I can't say I blame her. She'll be 98 years old in February, all of her siblings and friends are dead, and my grandpa died 25 years ago. While she has a huge amount of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she's quite frankly just tired of being alive. She's been telling us for years now that she's lived too long. I think it's a real shame that we can't allow mentally competent elderly people to make the medical decision to pass on peacefully. She's at peace with her life and is ready to go, but, unfortunately, her body is still in great shape and won't give out.
    My grandmother was the same way. She had even started to outlive her own children, which she only had 2: my dad and my uncle. She was 90 when my uncle died and I will never forget her at his casket crying so hard, looking up saying, God why couldn't you just take ME? She lived another 9 years, mostly with my parents, so my dad was close to 75 when his mom died.
    At one point not long before she died, when her heartrate slowed and became irregular, doctors told her the only way to fix that would be a pacemaker which I still cannot believe she consented to at 99. That was the first surgery she ever had in her life and I felt bad that after all those healthy years that this late in her life she is feeling surgical pain.
    That is an amazingly long life that I only wish my mother could have had too.
    Every day is a gift, at any age. Tell her you love her while you can.
    :grouphug:
     

    Scoobie

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    May 31, 2017
    Budget interrupted as my old girl dog had to meet the rainbow bridge this morning. She was over 15 and brought us lots of joy.

    As a side note, I went to the local public clinic for this service ($70). They ladies there were phenomenal and guided me through everything while I wept. The vet we use and several others I called wanted a "wellness visit" prior to putting her to sleep. The lowest vet cost was $169 and the highest was $189 (both of those are without taxes). First off, not an easy decision. Secondly, price gouging during this heartbreaking time is pretty crappy.
    So sorry for your loss, and for having to go through all the bs. I hope your sweet baby didn't suffer, that is the hardest part. We may be making the same decision soon as our fur baby that had her toe amputated about a month ago (fell down the stairs and injured her toenail, got infected.) started limping again yesterday. By today she was walking with her foot completely in the air - we figured it must have gotten infected again. Took her in, they did a bunch of tests, she has cancer in the bone. She's too old to go through that surgery (amputate half the leg and chemo) so they just sent us home with pain meds. They said maybe 4 pr 5 mo., but they can't really know. And here we are leaving for 3 weeks in Dec., Dh will be here with her but now I feel like thats a lot of time we're missing. Esp. if she goes down hill fast or is suffering. Can't cancel at this point - so we'll just have to soldier on.
     

    jen7233

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 1, 2005
    So sorry for your loss, and for having to go through all the bs. I hope your sweet baby didn't suffer, that is the hardest part. We may be making the same decision soon as our fur baby that had her toe amputated about a month ago (fell down the stairs and injured her toenail, got infected.) started limping again yesterday. By today she was walking with her foot completely in the air - we figured it must have gotten infected again. Took her in, they did a bunch of tests, she has cancer in the bone. She's too old to go through that surgery (amputate half the leg and chemo) so they just sent us home with pain meds. They said maybe 4 pr 5 mo., but they can't really know. And here we are leaving for 3 weeks in Dec., Dh will be here with her but now I feel like thats a lot of time we're missing. Esp. if she goes down hill fast or is suffering. Can't cancel at this point - so we'll just have to soldier on.
    Sorry to hear about her bone cancer. It's hard to make those decisions but if they won't have a chance of a rebound in health, I suppose it comes faster than we want it to.
     

    MegWheels

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Dec 30, 2018
    The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind! I've been busy planning two vacations. One in Nashville and one to WDW. I mentioned a while ago that I was going all out with this WDW trip since it's just my mom and I. Well, I think we're going to add some stuff to the trip. I'm considering a photo shoot at the GF and doing a Disney After Hours event. We went back and forth for awhile about whether we should do 2 or 3 park days. We decided to 2 days so we could have another relaxed hotel day (touring the different hotels was seriously my favorite part of my last trip!). I think the After Hours event will be a great compromise! Has anyone done it? What were your experiences?

    I also have some good/bad debt news. I'm about 3 months away from paying off my student loans! I'm SO excited! But, I'm also buying my first car! I'm nervous about it but I know I will have so much freedom.
     
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    ruadisneyfan2

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 20, 2006
    I also have some good/bad debt news. I'm about 3 months away from paying off my student loans! I'm SO excited! But, I'm also buying my first car! I'm nervous about it but I know I will have so much freedom.
    The good thing is that once you learn how to budget to pay off debt, this next time around it will be much easier, at least mentally, to pay down. I've learned so much here over the years. Paying down debt used to be overwhelming; now I kick it out quickly.
     

    MegWheels

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Dec 30, 2018
    The good thing is that once you learn how to budget to pay off debt, this next time around it will be much easier, at least mentally, to pay down. I've learned so much here over the years. Paying down debt used to be overwhelming; now I kick it out quickly.
    Very true! I also now make almost double what I made for the first 2 years of paying off my student loans, so this will go a LOT quicker!
     

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