Debt Dumpers - 2017

[Dentam]

It's around 1200 a month here!!!

That's a month of rent!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

It's around 1200 a month here!!!

That sounds much more reasonable than the amounts I am seeing here. The University is $1800 a month.

 

[dayvewc]

It's around 1200 a month here!!!

That's a month of rent!

That sounds much more reasonable than the amounts I am seeing here. The University is $1800 a month.

Holy Hannah! I'm glad my only children all have four legs and tails! $1800 a month is 80% of my take-home pay, and even $1200 is over half (and 3 months mortgage payments).

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Holy Hannah! I'm glad my only children all have four legs and tails! $1800 a month is 80% of my take-home pay, and even $1200 is over half (and 3 months mortgage payments).

Yeah, it seems pretty insane to me. My husband and I make a good salary, but this is just really hard to believe. Finding the right place at a price we can afford is going to take a lot more work than I thought, I guess.

 

[Eureka]

I am starting to gather information on day care facilities. Not sure what wait lists may be like in my area, so I want to start sooner rather than later. I almost had a heart attack when I saw that some places cost as much as 25% of our take home pay for infant care 5 days a week. Ugh. Just have to do a lot of research to find the right place at the right price point, I guess.

Yeah, daycare is expensive, especially before they are two years old. That's one of the reasons once we had two kids, that I ended up quitting my full time job and freelancing. We had tried a less expensive in-home daycare that didn't work out, but putting two kids in the center that DS#1 had gone to was not an option, financially. I was not happy at the time to leave my job because I was happy there (decision based solely on the fact that I made less money, not because I was Mom) but now have no regrets. I spent a year not working at all and was not happy at all. Then I freelanced for seven years and volunteered a lot at the elementary school. If I hadn't taken that path, I wouldnt be where I am now with a career change and a job I really like, that incidentally pays more than what I was doing before even when we adjust for years gone by.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Yeah, daycare is expensive, especially before they are two years old. That's one of the reasons once we had two kids, that I ended up quitting my full time job and freelancing. We had tried a less expensive in-home daycare that didn't work out, but putting two kids in the center that DS#1 had gone to was not an option, financially. I was not happy at the time to leave my job because I was happy there (decision based solely on the fact that I made less money, not because I was Mom) but now have no regrets. I spent a year not working at all and was not happy at all. Then I freelanced for seven years and volunteered a lot at the elementary school. If I hadn't taken that path, I wouldnt be where I am now with a career change and a job I really like, that incidentally pays more than what I was doing before even when we adjust for years gone by.

I can't quit my job. I am further in my career and make more than DH, so it would simply be impossible. And at this point, it wouldn't make sense for DH to quit his job either since he still makes much more than the child care would cost and quitting would seriously stunt his career growth trajectory. We will just have to find a place we like that is within a comfortable budget level and then adjust our other spending to compensate. We are making extra payments on my car, which should be paid off by the end of the year. That will open up $700 dollars extra a month. We had hoped to redirect some of it towards DH's car payment, but if that isn't possible it won't be the end of the world. We can just redirect any raises towards things like that. We are also putting $500 away each month towards the baby fund and that can just move into a childcare fund as well. I am hoping to find somewhere in the $1000-$1200/month range. Anything more will be a bit of a stretch I think. We will work it out, it will just take some serious budget review.

 

[Dentam]

I am in a field that doesn't pay nearly as well (though I love it, so it's worth it to me) and many of my coworkers depend on family or friends to watch their babies when they go back to work.

 

[Eureka]

I can't quit my job. I am further in my career and make more than DH, so it would simply be impossible. And at this point, it wouldn't make sense for DH to quit his job either since he still makes much more than the child care would cost and quitting would seriously stunt his career growth trajectory. We will just have to find a place we like that is within a comfortable budget level and then adjust our other spending to compensate. We are making extra payments on my car, which should be paid off by the end of the year. That will open up $700 dollars extra a month. We had hoped to redirect some of it towards DH's car payment, but if that isn't possible it won't be the end of the world. We can just redirect any raises towards things like that. We are also putting $500 away each month towards the baby fund and that can just move into a childcare fund as well. I am hoping to find somewhere in the $1000-$1200/month range. Anything more will be a bit of a stretch I think. We will work it out, it will just take some serious budget review.

I wasn't suggesting that...I was just telling my story. I was bitter for a long time about having spent so much time on my graduate degree etc. to then quit.

Edited to add that I hope you don't think I was saying our way is better. Apparently a post of mine on another thread came across as "sanctimonious" to someone, which is the last thing I was trying for. Sigh.

 

[AmyAnne]

I am not as interested in a single caregiver situation because I worry about child care if that single person is ill or has something else come up. I travel a lot for work, so if I were not in town, my husband would have to take a day (or more) off of work to care for the baby then. He can't work remotely at this point since he is still considered a junior developer. I feel like we would be much less likely to have an issue at a day care center.

That's certainly a valid consideration. On the other hand, the thing about day care centers is that they are really germ distribution centers - my kids were sick way more often going to daycare than having a single caregiver. Plus, some daycare centers are very strict about when sick kids cannot attend. Of course, no one wants a sick child at day care, but sometimes a daycare center's definition of sick can be extreme (such as parents have to come pick up a child with a temp over 99F, or provide a doctor's note before the child can return).

 

[chattadisser]

Jen and Ashwin - I feel your pain, there was once a time when our daycare bill was more than our mortgage. This was a huge financial impact but like you both, for either one of us to quit then would have seriously stunted our career growth. Keep looking around and when looking ask about the holidays the center is closed for. My oldest started in a center that closed for every holiday around - which was a pain when it wasn't a work holiday. Also consider utilizing a Dependent care account if that's available to you. We do that and it does seem to help on the taxes.

Congrats on the baby!

Christine

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I wasn't suggesting that...I was just telling my story. I was bitter for a long time about having spent so much time on my graduate degree etc. to then quit.

Edited to add that I hope you don't think I was saying our way is better. Apparently a post of mine on another thread came across as "sanctimonious" to someone, which is the last thing I was trying for. Sigh.

I didn't think you were suggesting that I quit my job. I was simply saying that it isn't even a consideration for me. I appreciate your perspective and the others that I have gotten. I take everything into consideration, but some things just aren't possible for us.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Jen and Ashwin - I feel your pain, there was once a time when our daycare bill was more than our mortgage. This was a huge financial impact but like you both, for either one of us to quit then would have seriously stunted our career growth. Keep looking around and when looking ask about the holidays the center is closed for. My oldest started in a center that closed for every holiday around - which was a pain when it wasn't a work holiday. Also consider utilizing a Dependent care account if that's available to you. We do that and it does seem to help on the taxes.

Congrats on the baby!

Christine

We will definitely be using a dependent care account to help out, but it won't cover all of the costs. And I will definitely remember to ask about holidays. I do work from home several days per week and my boss is pretty flexible, so if the child did need to stay home from day care, I am sure I could work it out if necessary. Just don't want that to be a regular thing.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I am in a field that doesn't pay nearly as well (though I love it, so it's worth it to me) and many of my coworkers depend on family or friends to watch their babies when they go back to work.

I don't live near any family and most of my friends work full time as well.

 

[Dentam]

I don't live near any family and most of my friends work full time as well.

Bummer... hope you find a good place!

 

[momtosam]

Okay, friends, talk me down from leasing a car. Here is the situation. We have three piece a junk cars, mine being the least junkiest of all. We're at the point of needing to replace my car for something more reliable, however, DH has been on and off of work the last 18 months so we don't have a significant amount of money to put to something new to us. When we replace my car, the one junker we'll get rid of is worth less than 1K so not a significant trade in. I'm thinking because times have been hard, maybe a cheap lease is the way to go for two years to get me and the kids in something reliable, but I've always read that leases are bad. Thoughts?

 

[dayvewc]

Okay, friends, talk me down from leasing a car. Here is the situation. We have three piece a junk cars, mine being the least junkiest of all. We're at the point of needing to replace my car for something more reliable, however, DH has been on and off of work the last 18 months so we don't have a significant amount of money to put to something new to us. When we replace my car, the one junker we'll get rid of is worth less than 1K so not a significant trade in. I'm thinking because times have been hard, maybe a cheap lease is the way to go for two years to get me and the kids in something reliable, but I've always read that leases are bad. Thoughts?

Leases are bad.

I've never known anyone that went through a lease with a good experience. The way I look at it, the cost of a lease is not significantly less than the payment on a good used car, but at the end of the lease you don't have anything to show for it. And, unless you are super super SUPER conservative in your driving, you have to pay a fee based on the mileage over what was allowed in the lease contract. I had one friend that (from my memory) had to pay $0.50 per mile over the agreed lease amount, and the lease authorized less than 1000 miles per month. She was driving 60 miles a day to go to work, 5 days a week. That's over 1200 miles a month, so minimum $100 a month on a 2 year lease was $2400 extra she had to pay just to return the car. And when she inquired about just buying it, they agreed - if she financed the now 2 year old car at the new car price. The lease payments did not count towards down payments or anything, and they said that since it was a new car when she got it, and she was the only owner/driver, that the sales record would show that she bought a new car.

Now, that particular horror story might have simply been one dishonest dealership taking advantage of a relatively young (mid 20's) female, but it is bad enough that I would never consider a lease.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Leases are bad.

I've never known anyone that went through a lease with a good experience. The way I look at it, the cost of a lease is not significantly less than the payment on a good used car, but at the end of the lease you don't have anything to show for it. And, unless you are super super SUPER conservative in your driving, you have to pay a fee based on the mileage over what was allowed in the lease contract. I had one friend that (from my memory) had to pay $0.50 per mile over the agreed lease amount, and the lease authorized less than 1000 miles per month. She was driving 60 miles a day to go to work, 5 days a week. That's over 1200 miles a month, so minimum $100 a month on a 2 year lease was $2400 extra she had to pay just to return the car. And when she inquired about just buying it, they agreed - if she financed the now 2 year old car at the new car price. The lease payments did not count towards down payments or anything, and they said that since it was a new car when she got it, and she was the only owner/driver, that the sales record would show that she bought a new car.

Now, that particular horror story might have simply been one dishonest dealership taking advantage of a relatively young (mid 20's) female, but it is bad enough that I would never consider a lease.

The pattern with my parents is pretty much: my mom gets a new car and my dad takes her old car and drives it until it dies. But my mom leased a car once and decided never to do it again. The car had gotten some dings from shopping carts in parking lots and such. She had to take it to a body shop to have them removed before she turned the car in because any damage to the car is assessed and charged at the end of the lease. There was one ding in a place that the body shop couldn't remove. They would have had to replace the panel. They assessed the expense very high for that ding. She also went over the milage and had to pay extra like @dayvewc mentioned. My parents felt in the end it was a terrible deal.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Agreed on the leases. My parents always described car leases to me as a "good way to show people you've got money to burn." My FIL did a lease on a truck for some unknown reason many years ago. It made no sense because we use our trucks for long hauls to horse shows, which are often out of state or even halfway across the country. He paid a fortune in mileage fees when he had to turn it in.

 

[*3*Mouseketeers]

That sounds much more reasonable than the amounts I am seeing here. The University is $1800 a month.

Holy Toledo! I guess I was lucky, I found a local Daycare run by sisters and they charged $60/week. My son went there from age 2 to 5 and my daughter went there from birth to 5. They had my son fully potty trained the first day he was there! They were so good. They closed the daycare a couple years ago because of sickness in the family and there are no other daycares in my town. I'm so glad to be finished with daycare! I could not imagine paying $1200 or $1800 a month. Of course, I'm sure our pay is lower and cost of living lower. I guess it all evens out.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Holy Toledo! I guess I was lucky, I found a local Daycare run by sisters and they charged $60/week. My son went there from age 2 to 5 and my daughter went there from birth to 5. They had my son fully potty trained the first day he was there! They were so good. They closed the daycare a couple years ago because of sickness in the family and there are no other daycares in my town. I'm so glad to be finished with daycare! I could not imagine paying $1200 or $1800 a month. Of course, I'm sure our pay is lower and cost of living lower. I guess it all evens out.

Can I ask how many hours in care did you get for $60/week? And was that for all your children or per child? When I babysat in middle school/high school, I would make that much easily in a weekend and that was 15-20 years ago. We are looking for full time care, so 40-50 hours per week. And when you consider that $1200 is roughly $6.75 per hour, it doesn't seem too crazy, I guess. But it is still a huge chunk of our take home pay and will be our largest expense outside of our mortgage.

I think of all of our choices with the baby on the way, this is going to be the hardest. I want to find a quality center with a low caregiver to child ratio that will be nurturing and accommodate our needs, but won't cost us 25% of our take home pay.