Debt Advice Desperately Needed....Please!

[snowbunny]

You're assuming that people who have offered suggestions feel it is a waste of their time. I was one of them, so please don't attempt to speak for me.

But I guess some people would rather just rub someone's face in their mistakes.

Actually I had deleted my post a few seconds before you captured and posted my comment.

But as I said a few comments back (not deleted), I hope the OP has had an epiphany in the last 2 weeks. If not yes she's wasting my time if not yours.

 

[pixie921]

Actually I had deleted my post a few seconds before you captured and posted my comment.

But as I said a few comments back (not deleted), I hope the OP has had an epiphany in the last 2 weeks. If not yes she's wasting my time if not yours.

I saw that you deleted after I posted my reply. And if you feel your time is being wasted, then by all means don't offer any help. But I don't think it's necessary to keep smacking at her with the "this is all your own fault" stick. I'm pretty sure she's aware of that.

 

[dipin]

Unbelievable. Digging up old posts just to handslap the OP? Why would you do that? Just to make her feel worse, or to show that she's not "worthy" of help? Or just because, as you said yourself, it's "fun"?? That's just sad. And mean.

I am sorry, but for someone in the OP's situation, being objective is better than being nice. If those posts gets her to see how she has made mistakes, they will be far more valuable than any "feel good" posts.

And while it is true that many people have unsecured debt, taking several deluxe vacations a year with 35k in cc debt and zero savings is pretty much an indefensible mistake at any time, but specially in this economy.

Oh, and as far as credit history goes, I think that one of the biggest mistakes out there is to think that making the minimum payment on time is all it takes to keep a good credit score. Having 35 k in cc debt plus other credit lines to finance dvc and so on is not a spotless credit history. They know a person's limit and how close they are to it.

 

[**Stephanie**]

I just read the entire post and I have to say I feel like the OP was not completely coming clean with her starting post....there is a pattern of MAJOR spending and all the talk on these boards is not going to help a bit if the OP does not change her entire mind set.
I hate to be so bold but until the OP sees how crazy her spending is (650 DVC points and still wants to spend cash on Club Level Deluxes just to see new places???), she will not take any of the advise posted to heart, especially if she does take this next trip. (How can you go to Disney and just sit in the room/pool all day and not spend any other money??? not being real )
She wants to confront the problem and that is to be commended (the first step is the hardest) but actions are the key. The OP knows what she must do and maybe when she actually hits rock bottom, the posts on here will mean something.

 

[Dancemom03]

I can offer you this:

I hope the people here will help you - as opposed to critcizing.. These types of threads can go downhill fast..

Good luck to you and your family..

I'll second C.Ann's post. As predicted, the thread has begun to go downhill quick... I can only offer OP hugs and prayers that you and your family will emerge from these challenging times even faster.

I've found these rough financial times have encouraged a new sort of superiority that keeps many who're facing a budget crisis in the closet to avoid the comments & judgements that may follow asking for help. It's a shame because in today's world - whether we've lived frugally or not - but for the grace of God go most of us...

 

[dipin]

I'll second C.Ann's post. As predicted, the thread has begun to go downhill quick... I can only offer OP hugs and prayers that you and your family will emerge from these challenging times even faster.

I've found these rough financial times have encouraged a new sort of superiority that keeps many who're facing a budget crisis in the closet to avoid the comments & judgements that may follow asking for help. It's a shame because in today's world - whether we've lived frugally or not - but for the grace of God go most of us...

So telling someone who is in serious financial trouble that they should not take a deluxe vacation and should sell their time share to put food on their table is being judgmental? Hugs and prayers are great, but they won't change her financial situation.

It is really not that difficult to understand: if you ask for financial advice when you can barely pay for food but have 4 deluxe trips scheduled in a year, the correct and sound advice is to cancel those trips and use whatever money allocated to them to buy the basics.

The solution to a distressing financial situation is to do everything to get out of that situation, and not to keep doing the same as before but with nicer pep talks from random strangers.

As nasty as it might sound, "don't spend money you don't have on non-essential things and cancel those WDW trips" is a much, much better solution than "hugs and prayers but keep doing what you've been doing," and in the long run she will be much better off by listening to everyone who you think is being negative.

 

[dvcgirl]

I'll second C.Ann's post. As predicted, the thread has begun to go downhill quick... I can only offer OP hugs and prayers that you and your family will emerge from these challenging times even faster.

I've found these rough financial times have encouraged a new sort of superiority that keeps many who're facing a budget crisis in the closet to avoid the comments & judgements that may follow asking for help. It's a shame because in today's world - whether we've lived frugally or not - but for the grace of God go most of us...

Well, I don't think people should pick on someone in this situation, but a "gentle wet noodle" is sometimes the wake-up call that someone needs in this situation. The cyber hugs are great, but sometimes the best advice you'll ever get is the advice that you don't want to hear.

I think that the OP here really understands her situation at this point. But for some of us, to read "that leaves $50 a week for groceries for my family of 7"....and "try to hang onto the DVC contracts" (I'm paraphrasing), well, that's just a "what the &^**?!?" moment for some of us.

Personally, I don't feel superior at all to anyone here. I truly feel for the OP and her family.....and the millions of others like her. And it's only going to get worse from here...at least for the rest of this year.

All that I can say though, is that the OP's story is helpful in pointing out to others how lethal consumer debt can be, especially when you don't have an emergency fund. One job loss, let alone two...and you're in trouble in a very short period of time.

I hope that the OP and her DH find good jobs quickly and climb out of the hole.

 

[disneystacy]

So telling someone who is in serious financial trouble that they should not take a deluxe vacation and should sell their time share to put food on their table is being judgmental? Hugs and prayers are great, but they won't change her financial situation.

It is really not that difficult to understand: if you ask for financial advice when you can barely pay for food but have 4 deluxe trips scheduled in a year, the correct and sound advice is to cancel those trips and use whatever money allocated to them to buy the basics.

The solution to a distressing financial situation is to do everything to get out of that situation, and not to keep doing the same as before but with nicer pep talks from random strangers.

As nasty as it might sound, "don't spend money you don't have on non-essential things and cancel those WDW trips" is a much, much better solution than "hugs and prayers but keep doing what you've been doing," and in the long run she will be much better off by listening to everyone who you think is being negative.

I totally agree with you. Hugs and prayers are great, but in a situation such as the poster is in, she needs sound advice.
BTW - I just canceled my trip for a week in Sept and I don't have any debt other than mortgage and car. Our savings account needs to get built back up (unexpected medical bills) and I just don't feel we need to sacrifice financial security for a vacation. Maybe we will take a few days and go to the beach in Sept, if we are really desparate for a trip. Disney isn't going anywhere.

 

[crisi]

I'll second C.Ann's post. As predicted, the thread has begun to go downhill quick... I can only offer OP hugs and prayers that you and your family will emerge from these challenging times even faster.

I've found these rough financial times have encouraged a new sort of superiority that keeps many who're facing a budget crisis in the closet to avoid the comments & judgements that may follow asking for help. It's a shame because in today's world - whether we've lived frugally or not - but for the grace of God go most of us...

But for the Grace of God....but in this case the OPs situation has been complicated by her own choices. God helps them that help themselves. The OP and her DH have been laid off since January, but she is just now coming to the conclusion that her lifestyle must change - she didn't cut cable in January? She never had any money to save when they were both employed, yet afforded 650 DVC points? Many of the suggestions have been brushed off with "oh, we can't..." She is feeding a family of SEVEN on $50 a week - that's a $1 a person per day - that less than what food stamps gives you. Frankly, its past time to be harsh.

 

[DVCBELLE]

I have to admit that I have been reading this thread and a bit dumbfounded that she is not willing to sell DVC and cancel her upcoming trips, that she is not babysitting and doing other things to help feed her kids b/c she would feel guilty having an under the table job.

Well - if the OP files bankruptcy - THAT affects me and everyone else. I have a house that has sat empty next door to me for over 2 years now -they got divorced bought TWO new houses without selling that one and drove fancy new cars and went on trips all the time and eventually walked away from all 3 houses to reconcile and move away. There is barely any upkeep to it, part of the roof is missing, siding is falling off, screens are falling out, there is moisture build up inside the windows - after it failed at the sheriff's auction, I did see the bank try to clean it up and the men were working there all had masks on - all b/c a family got in over their heads and instead of trying to be responsible walked away. My house value has plummeted $40,000 and they tell me that the foreclosure next door is really hurting me.

SO - I am sorry if I can't just offer prayers and hugs. This family needs to make some tough decisions. And vacations and DVC and cable need to be the first things to go. My husband and I have list of things we will sell or cancel if we need to and DVC, Cable are at the top of the list. Our cell phones will drop to the bare bones in contracts. it sounds like the OP has a cell phone for everyone in her house since she said it will be $1000 to cancel - my contract is only $150 to cancel it so everyone must have one. I would make her kids drop to the bare minimum and pay for the service.

The OP came on here and asked for help - but I don't think she really wants it after seeing she has so many trips planned and an unwillingness to try to cut back where she needs to. My DH got laid off once and looking for a new job was full time - he sent out tons of resumes a day, met with everyone under the sun to let them know he was looking and who they might suggest he contact. It took 6 months to find one but if the OP is not networking and sending out mass resumes and willing to take whatever she can get to feed her family then she will be looking for a long time.

 

[pixie921]

So telling someone who is in serious financial trouble that they should not take a deluxe vacation and should sell their time share to put food on their table is being judgmental?

No, but searching for and posting old posts in order to "call out" the OP and calling them "fun reading" is.

 

[friskykitten]

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=31732492&postcount=4


I was not able to resist either! Oh, the shame!

Two nights over 4th of July in the Poly Garden View Club Level. I couldn't justify the $100/night extra for Lagoon View. Finally I will get the chance to sleep at the Poly! I love DVC....I NEED DVC! But every once in a while I love going back to try out a resort or two. Especially ones we haven't tried yet. Since two of the kids will be visiting Grandma's we will be able to fit in the Poly room with only the five of us.

So that makes four trips so far this year.

1. March Caribbean Beach
2. May VB BC and AKL GV
3. July Poly
4. Dec OKW with possible stays at POP and maybe....??? GF?? We will see.

It is very hard to resist when Disney gives the gift of a discount. Although I don't think the discount is as deep as I have seen it in the past. I was expecting 40% or so but it was closer to 35%.




You wonder why you are $35K in debt and want the mortgage company to help you out but you have just taken 1 trip and have 3 more planned?

You trip #2 is from May 30 - June 7. How do you plan on paying for food etc. when you only have $50 left over for food as it is now. Also you unemployment time is running out and you are going on vacation rather than job hunting?

PLEASE, before my fellow diser's start bashing each other........STOP! This poster is right. I did take a gamble and planned this two day vacation somewhere we had not stayed before. For those who have read earlier posts you also saw that we are canceling this vacation along with the others. Also, as mentioned before we have gift cards for the vacation groceries and our guests are also pitching in food so that is how we are not spending extra money on the one coming up in five days. And yes, there will be a friends laptop where I will be job hunting daily. Does that make it right in everyones, or anyone's eyes? No. It doesn't, and it is probably another horrible mistake we are making. Why not add it to the list? I came here looking for advice and I have received wonderful and mostly supportive help! Even the "hugs" help me out. But once others posters start hurting each other between defending me and pointing out our mistakes it is time to end this and move on. I understand the bashing of me as I deserve it which I have never denied. What more do you want me to do? Stand in middle of the highway and be plowed down? Then I would never be able to correct these mistakes and pay back any money owed.


Yes, we have 650 points with two contracts not completely paid for. The other contracts have been paid for for quite a while. I have already admitted that the last contracts were mistakes and I have said that we will be selling them as prompted by others on this board. What you have no idea of and what I have not revealed is that we used to have a very good income. I also used to pay all of the cc's off in full every month. Quickly that changed although I couldn't tell you the exact when or how of it. The past can only haunt me now and I have to move forward in doing the right thing. I was hesitant at first but with the gentle "wet noodling" I have gotten here I am more than ready to take those steps. What matters is that we are in trouble now due to our own devices and optimism. And stupidity. I have already admitted that. And I am sure you will be pleased to know that we will lose everything that we have. Will that make the fact that we owned 650 DVC points once any better? If we lose them? I have tried to be optimistic about everything after losing my job, hence the Poly trip, but I have also abruptly come to the conclusion that things are not going to get better any time soon. Everything is going to go. I will do everything I can to keep the house and feed my family. That is the decision I have made. And I believe that it is the right decision. Everything else will either be sold off and any and all debt will be repaid one way or the other. There really isn't anything more to do. I have always paid my debts in the past and I will always continue to pay them in the future. I am learning my lesson the hard way, the very hard way, as it should be.

There really isn't anything more to say other than I thank everyone for their advice on what to do and what websites to check out. Instead of it being the end of the world you have made me realize that we can sell what we have, pay off the debt and start again without getting into the same trouble we got into before. After reading your posts I can get started in what needs to be done instead of procrastinating. Everyone has helped from the hugs to those who felt they had to be more harsh. But I do not want to see you flaming each other. I am going to go have myself a really good cry, clean myself up and get started on what I need to do. Thank you and have a great weekend. Hopefully, I will be able to come back someday with my head held high and proclaim that we are now the perfect family with little or no debt. I do have to admit I will be hiding for awhile while I lick my wounds and help them to heal. Self-inflicted wounds I know, but it also hurts to have a little salt poured into them too.

Blessings to you all!

 

[momx2]

PLEASE, before my fellow diser's start bashing each other........STOP! This poster is right. I did take a gamble and planned this two day vacation somewhere we had not stayed before. For those who have read earlier posts you also saw that we are canceling this vacation along with the others. Also, as mentioned before we have gift cards for the vacation groceries and our guests are also pitching in food so that is how we are not spending extra money on the one coming up in five days. And yes, there will be a friends laptop where I will be job hunting daily. Does that make it right in everyones, or anyone's eyes? No. It doesn't, and it is probably another horrible mistake we are making. Why not add it to the list? I came here looking for advice and I have received wonderful and mostly supportive help! Even the "hugs" help me out. But once others posters start hurting each other between defending me and pointing out our mistakes it is time to end this and move on. I understand the bashing of me as I deserve it which I have never denied. What more do you want me to do? Stand in middle of the highway and be plowed down? Then I would never be able to correct these mistakes and pay back any money owed.


Yes, we have 650 points with two contracts not completely paid for. The other contracts have been paid for for quite a while. I have already admitted that the last contracts were mistakes and I have said that we will be selling them as prompted by others on this board. What you have no idea of and what I have not revealed is that we used to have a very good income. I also used to pay all of the cc's off in full every month. Quickly that changed although I couldn't tell you the exact when or how of it. The past can only haunt me now and I have to move forward in doing the right thing. I was hesitant at first but with the gentle "wet noodling" I have gotten here I am more than ready to take those steps. What matters is that we are in trouble now due to our own devices and optimism. And stupidity. I have already admitted that. And I am sure you will be pleased to know that we will lose everything that we have. Will that make the fact that we owned 650 DVC points once any better? If we lose them? I have tried to be optimistic about everything after losing my job, hence the Poly trip, but I have also abruptly come to the conclusion that things are not going to get better any time soon. Everything is going to go. I will do everything I can to keep the house and feed my family. That is the decision I have made. And I believe that it is the right decision. Everything else will either be sold off and any and all debt will be repaid one way or the other. There really isn't anything more to do. I have always paid my debts in the past and I will always continue to pay them in the future. I am learning my lesson the hard way, the very hard way, as it should be.

There really isn't anything more to say other than I thank everyone for their advice on what to do and what websites to check out. Instead of it being the end of the world you have made me realize that we can sell what we have, pay off the debt and start again without getting into the same trouble we got into before. After reading your posts I can get started in what needs to be done instead of procrastinating. Everyone has helped from the hugs to those who felt they had to be more harsh. But I do not want to see you flaming each other. I am going to go have myself a really good cry, clean myself up and get started on what I need to do. Thank you and have a great weekend. Hopefully, I will be able to come back someday with my head held high and proclaim that we are now the perfect family with little or no debt. I do have to admit I will be hiding for awhile while I lick my wounds and help them to heal. Self-inflicted wounds I know, but it also hurts to have a little salt poured into them too.

Blessings to you all!

I am sorry that you felt flamed for some of the posts, but I do think some of it may have been necessary for you to see how dire the promblem is. I truly hope you and your family find a way out of the debt hole. You seem like a strong woman who can overcome this. It will be difficult, but you have a great opportunity to show a great example to your children at this difficult time in your life. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Dancemom03]

So telling someone who is in serious financial trouble that they should not take a deluxe vacation and should sell their time share to put food on their table is being judgmental? Hugs and prayers are great, but they won't change her financial situation.

No, telling them once, twice, even three times, isn't being judgemental but posting the same thing for 9+ pages is repetitive at best and makes the advice more likely to be ignored than followed IMO - sort of like when I nag my kids to clean their rooms, what they need is a starting point with subsequent directions to do the best job possible instead of ignoring me b/c I just say "clean your room" endless times until I shout and they slam the door.
And sorry, but I think that searching thru old posts, and then quoting them here to criticize, when OP already admitted fault and asked for advice is.

It is really not that difficult to understand: if you ask for financial advice when you can barely pay for food but have 4 deluxe trips scheduled in a year, the correct and sound advice is to cancel those trips and use whatever money allocated to them to buy the basics.

The solution to a distressing financial situation is to do everything to get out of that situation, and not to keep doing the same as before but with nicer pep talks from random strangers.

ITA - but that advice was already clearly offered a dozen times by the second page
What I wish I could offer were constructive suggestions that might help OP make ends meet a little better or raise extra funds until she digs her way out.

As nasty as it might sound, "don't spend money you don't have on non-essential things and cancel those WDW trips" is a much, much better solution than "hugs and prayers but keep doing what you've been doing," and in the long run she will be much better off by listening to everyone who you think is being negative.

Did I say negative or did you? And I don't remember naming any names or pointing out specific posts either.
I can't help - apparently neither can many people. Sorry hugs & prayers are what I've got...

To clarify my position --- What I said was that people can be very judgemental when you tell them you have a problem - some much more so than others.
As a result many people hide what is happening with their finances to all around them until it is way too late. Everybody has different priorities in life and makes different choices - some of which they will, no doubt, live to regret. On thing you can be sure of that every single person near them noticed those choices of the past as well but pointing it out is about as helpful as your mom reminding you about that glass you broke back in 1962.

I just found out that a good friend is facing foreclosure right now after her husband's automotive dealership closed. It's probably too late for her to pull out and most heartbreaking is that she was afraid to say anything b/c their kids are in private school, they'd bought a new van, and took a cruise last year when times were good.
To add insult to injury, they had money in stocks and lost a huge amount of their savings - enough so that her kids will be going to public school next year and her DS took the year off from college to work and help out. Sure enough, as soon as word got out the holier-than-thou crowd couldn't wait to publicly analyze their previous standard of living. It's human nature, I know that, and most of us are guilty of it at one time or another. Still, I just it find it really sad...

 

[sk!mom]

To those bashing the OP. She has already said they screwed up, and the 35k in debt is their fault. They bought DVC while they were both working. Neither one expected to lose their jobs, let alone both of them in the same window. No one expects this.

I hope that the OP doesn't see my posts as bashing. My intention is that this OP seems to need a serious wake up call.

OP's prior posts indicate that she has already been on vacation at least once since losing her job and yet intends to go again?? I'm sorry but that's insane.

You need a decent credit rating in your line of work yet you're doing everything possible to sabotage it. You have the chance to sell some luxuries that you never coud afford yet your justifying another vacation.

Wow! This is crazy! Your house is on fire, OP and instead of throwing water on it you're fanning the flames.

 

[surfgirl]

OP, good luck. I think you are making some hard decisions which sounds like it is direly needed.

However, I do think you are not facing the hard truth. On one hand, you say that you previously had a good income to pay your bills. I don't doubt that you had a good income. However, you are $35k in cc debt and had no emergency cushion. (or maybe I missed something?) Honestly, you weren't ahead ... you were already behind before the job loss. This is the hard reality that I see.

I don't think any of us wish your situation on you or anyone else. We all know how easy it is to end up there. Just be aware of how tenuous your position truly is. Once you weather this storm (and you will), just put yourself in a better position that you were.

<minor rant> you post an anonymous posting on a board, you will get advice... and it may not be the advice you want, but there are many opinions. You can pick and choose what you want to listen to, but you can't pick and choose who posts and what they post. That is the beauty (and frustration) of the web. <rant over>

 

[dipin]

What you have no idea of and what I have not revealed is that we used to have a very good income. I also used to pay all of the cc's off in full every month. Quickly that changed although I couldn't tell you the exact when or how of it. The past can only haunt me now and I have to move forward in doing the right thing. I was hesitant at first but with the gentle "wet noodling" I have gotten here I am more than ready to take those steps. What matters is that we are in trouble now due to our own devices and optimism. And stupidity. I have already admitted that. And I am sure you will be pleased to know that we will lose everything that we have. Will that make the fact that we owned 650 DVC points once any better? If we lose them? I have tried to be optimistic about everything after losing my job, hence the Poly trip, but I have also abruptly come to the conclusion that things are not going to get better any time soon. Everything is going to go. I will do everything I can to keep the house and feed my family. That is the decision I have made. And I believe that it is the right decision. Everything else will either be sold off and any and all debt will be repaid one way or the other. There really isn't anything more to do. I have always paid my debts in the past and I will always continue to pay them in the future. I am learning my lesson the hard way, the very hard way, as it should be.


Blessings to you all!

I don't think anyone here would be "pleased to know that we will lose everything that we have."

And while you may have understood that keeping the same lifestyle after you got laid off was a mistake, I think there is a bigger picture here that you are missing.

And I say this not to be harsh, pour salt on your wounds, or anything like that. There are two mistakes that many people make, that can have dire consequences:

1- No matter how good one's income is, if you can't put aside some money into a savings account so that you have at least 5-6 months income saved up, you are living beyond your means. It is really that simple. If you can't save, you need to cut back on expenses. Now, I know many people don't do this, and it is fairly common, but it is still a mistake. The days when one person would get a job out of high school or college and stay with that company until retirement are long gone. Almost everyone will get laid off at least once in life, or will need to change jobs at least once in life.

So when you say you had a great income, it certainly might have been great, but it was not enough to support your lifestyle if you couldn't save.


2- The second mistake people make is thinking that as long as you make a minimum payment on a credit card, your credit score will be ok and they won't ever reduce your credit. Credit rating companies look not only at whether you are paying something, but also at the proportion of amount owed/credit and amount owed/assets. Once those things start getting up there, your credit score will start to go down, your credit lines will either be cut or your interest rates will go up. And then you will be in a trap: increasing interest rates just as your debt is going up.



So this is not pouring salt into your wounds or anything like that, but in reality, even if you got jobs tomorrow that paid exactly what you used to make, you still could not afford your previous lifestyle.


Finally, an important point: why does paying for the groceries with gift cards make you think that trip is affordable? Unless those are gift cards that are exclusive to the stores you will be visiting on your trip, that is money you could be using at home to feed your family. If it is one of those widely accepted gift cards, it is just as good as money, and you will be spending it on you trip just as you would do with cash. And even if it is exclusive to the stores near where you will be staying, you could always sell them to your relatives and keep the money. Sad and embarrassing, yes, but oh so much better than trying to feed a family of 7 on 50 dollars a week.

 

[yitbos96bb]

First off, don't be embarrassed. Things happen in life, and sometimes people are dealt a bad break. Remember, a majority of bankruptcies in the country are due to the medical expenses or job loss... NOT from irresponsible spending as some ignorant people pretend.

In my opinion, you have a couple of options:

1) Sell the house, the DVC contracts, etc. Either use that money to pay off your credit cards or settle the debt... settling will hurt your credit unfortunately. This will mean you'd have to move to a cheaper house or rent, but if you don't settle, your credit will remain in tact for the most part.

2) Let your credit cards lapse and then call and settle. This will damage your credit and you will need the amount you settle to pay pretty fast. But it will lower your debt.

3) Declare chapter 7 or 11 bankruptcy. This option will hurt your credit, but it will most likely allow you to keep your house, car, etc. It will give you a new beginning. You will probably lose the DVC contracts, as well as some other luxuries, but you will be in a position that you can hopefully begin saving afterward. Bankruptcy isn't the credit scarlet letter that it was years ago. If you plan correctly, you can get loans easily in a matter of months or years. Some car companies will let you get a car loan immediately after a BK closes. Its a tough option, but if you feel there is NO WAY OUT, it may be your best option.

Either way, I'd call a credit counselor or a BK attorney for some advice. Most BK attorney's offer a free consultation. Credit Counselors can help work something out.

I'd also call the Mortgage company and see if there is any thing that can be done. Will all the recent spate of economic recovery laws, there might be something... especially if its a Fanny Mae/Freddy Mac loan.

And to let you know, we had to declare Bankruptcy at one point. It really ended up giving us a new start that we learned from. We had over $100,000 in debt from a business we started that failed. It was our only way out at the time. It was hard to do, but I'm glad we did. Regardless of what some idiots say, Bankruptcy is meant to be a second chance. Many famous and successful people have filed. As long as people learn from it and don't become serial filers (and that is rare), it is the second chance many people need.

I am going to have to swallow my pride and admit the trouble we are in so that we can get some good advice and help. We are a family with five children and have always had just enough money to get by from month to month. Not enough to put into savings but enough to pay all of the bills and anything that might pop up as a 'surprise'.

Back in January my husband was laid-off from his great paying job. He has only his HS diploma so the fact that he was making so much more than I was was a blessing. Two days later I was laid-off from my job. A good paying one at that although I hated the darn thing. College grad in Accounting. Yes, I know, an accountant should know better than to get into the trouble we are in but it happend........

So the mortgage company granted us three months to skip our payments while we tried to find work. That grace period is now up. My husband found other work but it is only bringing in about 30% of what he used to make and only about $60 more than unemployment gives. I am on the unemployment so you can imagine what our monthly income is right now. We have a bit over $35,000 in credit card debt. Discover card just lowered our credit limit even though my credit history and report is spotless (other than a lot of cc debt). We also have a couple of DVC contracts that we owe money on in addition to cell phones, life insurance, car insurance, cable/phone/internet, car payment, electricity, dues, gas so DH can get to work, groceries and any incidentals (which are never small as we have the five children & pets who are always needing something).

I have still not found work so I am saving on my own gasoline and childcare. Due to that fact I have to have a job that pays at least $12.50/hr to break-even and head back to work. I have had only two interviews since January and I have been putting in approximately two resumes a day. So you can see that the pickings are really slim right now. Either that or I really suck at my job and don't know it....

Anyway, we are now going to have to start missing payments. I have decided that we MUST pay the mortgage first then some food and the car payment. Then the money is gone with only spending $50/week on groceries. But that won't pay for the car insurance so then what? And what happens when the credit card companies are not paid? When they shut off the electricity and have to cancel internet/phone/cable then I will have limited job hunting opportunities other than the library and they are pretty strict on what you can and cannot do.

I have tried my best to be positive and kept telling myself that I would have a job by now so we could start paying the mortgage again and things would work out. Now I now that isn't going to happen anytime soon and I am scared to death as to what my family is going to go through from here on out.

Any suggestions, advice, help or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. You can PM me if you would rather not publically post an answer. What things should we concentrate on paying? What should we let go? How is this going to affect everything from credit scores to collections? How long will we be ruined? How long can a family live without electricity? Where do you take animals when shelters are so full that they are not taking them anymore? Please help and thank you for any advice you can give. On top of everything else, I caught the dogs stuck together this afternoon. We had no idea Crystal was in heat now she is probably pregnant. What else is going to go wrong????

 

[yitbos96bb]

Also, I only pay for the most basic, basic cable. (Well, I also have DVR.) I save more than $50 a month. Anything that's not on-network that I want to watch, I watch on the Internet. Anything that's not available or not free, I simply don't watch. The only TV show I pay for is Law and Order: Criminal Intent--I have a subscription with Amazon for less than $2 an episode.

Agreed on this. We just switched to the Bronze HD package on Dish Network from the Gold HD package with two premium channels. While I love HBO and Showtime, the lack of new films gets annoying and I'll wait a year for the DVD to watch the shows I like. I looked at the channel list and realized that 99% of the shows we watch were included in that packaged... saved us $50 a month.

Hulu is a great site as well.

 

[yitbos96bb]

Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers. I really never dreamed it would come to this.

I hadn't thought of the United Way but I will see if that number will work for us. We will not qualify for food stamps a home and car and 401k, etc. Usually you can only have a very low amount of assets to qualify for food stamps. In Missouri it was $2000. I will be applying for whatever services I can find starting on Monday. I hear what you say about 'under the table' work but can you believe that I would feel so guilty about lying to the unemployment office that I would fess up and lose my unemployment check? One of the questions they ask when you are 'claiming your weeks' is did you make any money in such and such a week. My husband said yes to that question before he got another job and was told he no longer qualified. Luckily he got a job that following week.

We really don't own any adult toys. Our DVC was our 'toy' and we owned most of them before we moved and added on the credit card debt. So although msmayor is 100% correct that we shouldn't have purchased DVC with the amount of debt we have now, we accumulated the cc debt after we moved to Florida and way after we got our original DVC loans. One is paid off completely, one is almost paid off but the other one we purchased only a couple of years ago when the economy was in full swing and financed so we do still owe on it. That one, you are correct, we should not have purchased. I really don't want to sell them as they are our only 'toy' but I may have no choice in the matter. Either sell them or lose them in bankruptcy I guess.

We had a garage sale a month ago and sold one thing for $5.00. We are already not running the A/C and boy is it hot in here! Cable/phone/internet will be the first thing to go. Our animals are part of our family so they will be included in the grocery dollars unless I can find a "foster parent" until we can get back on our feet. The children will not go hungary even if I have to visit the food bank to get them something to eat.

Our home is only 1500 sq ft so we have two boys in one room and two girls in the other room. The baby shares our room so we don't have any extra rooms to rent out. Can you imagine anyone wanting to live with us? Maybe I could get someone to pay us for not being forced to live in our home!

As soon as I get a job we will be fine.....I just don't know what is going to happen in the mean time or how long it will be before a job comes through. I really thougt I would be employed within these five months so I have procrastinated one selling off our stuff piece by piece.

Again, I thank each of you for your help and suggestions. I already know how horrible we are for getting into this situation to begin with, although in our defense we couldn't control losing our jobs let alone two days apart in the same week. And I already know that we have made some bad credit decisions so I appreciate that you are being supportive instead of demoralizing me. I do that just fine on my own!

If you want to keep the DVCs you own in full (and i understand that completely) Maybe rent the points instead of selling... or sell two and keep one. Rent the points to use to pay the maint fees and use the rest for bill payment.