Debt Advice Desperately Needed....Please!

[erincon23]

Make sure you understand the unemployment laws. You don't lose your unemployment completely if you earn money one week -- generally, you get to earn up to a certain amount, and then unemployment pay is reduced $1 for each $2 you earn -- so you could legally come out with more per week for unemployment and some small job than unemployment alone. And if you earn more in a week on a job than unemployment allows, it just means that your eligibility gets pushed back a week -- if you don't take the week's available allocation this week, it gets pushed back making you eligible for another week. My hubby was out of work for two years, and had temp jobs and small contract jobs during that time -- he was able to collect unemployment some weeks and not others, but never went through his 26 weeks that were available to him. So don't assume that you'll lose your eligibility if you can get some additional income! Call and ask -- make sure you know exactly what you're entitled to.

Don't pay the credit cards if you don't have the money. You'll start getting TONS of phone calls -- use your caller ID and just let the phone ring (it's stressful, I know, but less stressful than not being able to pay for groceries). We went to see a credit counselor recently, and he said that the credit card companies are required to keep a reserve for the amount they expect to be unpaid -- you won't be hurting anyone (except your credit rating, and even that takes a while) or taking food out of someone else's mouth by not paying. Yes, you'll probably feel guilty -- you bought the stuff, you should pay, I know exactly how that feels -- but your kids have to be fed, your house has to be paid. YOu may or may not eventually pay for the "stuff" you bought, but you'll get through all of this. Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (and I ought to be pretty strong by now...). Good luck! Keep your chin up!

- Erin

 

[Debbie Jean]

I just wanted to say that your explanation of the impending stay at DVC sounds totally reasonable...

Go and have a wonderful time... don't weigh yourself down with economic worries... use it as a time to recharge your batteries, enjoy being with loved ones and having the chance to get away...

 

[Kriii]

First of all, hugs and prayers to you and your family for what you are going through. Second, just an idea. Several years ago DH, who is also an accountant, got a job as a computer programmer. He did NOT have any computer experience, other than a few classes in college, but he DID have the accounting knowledge that the firm needed to develop tax software. He was hired for the accounting expertise and taught the computer skills on the job. Perhaps there are still industries out there who would do something like this? Finally, keep your chin up. As awful as this is for your family, it is a temporary situation until the economy picks up. You do have a degree and a skill that will someday be in demand again. Eventually, your family WILL bounce back. Very best of luck and I truly hope everything turns around for you SOON!

 

[friendofgusgus]

You're going to hate this, but here goes...

The week you're in your DVC is one week that you won't be job searching, selling stuff on eBay or in your front yard. It is one less week that you will not be actively working to improve your situation.

I understand that people are coming, but you can tell them that you can't afford the gas and ask them to help. The truth is, you can't afford the gas. You can't afford anything right now that is not actively aimed at helping your family.

I'm so sorry. I get no joy from typing this. But it is the truth. Your proverbial house is on fire and you should do nothing but call for help and throw water. There is no time for anything else.

Even with the DVC sale, you have a serious short-term cash crisis.

If you're still planning to go, then at least:

Take your computer with you. Devote just as much time to your job search there as you do at home.

Eat at DVC the same way you are currently are at home. I know that when we travel we always spend more on food than we would at home. It's very easy to justify items that you know aren't in the budget in your home supermarket.

Don't spend one dime trying to shield your visitors from your present situation. One thing you truly cannot afford right now is pridefulness.

I am so sorry for your situation.

 

[TCPluto]

Fritochips, thank you for your (and your family's-you know who you are ) support.

Obsessedwiththemouse??

 

[TCPluto]

you won't be hurting anyone (except your credit rating, and even that takes a while) or taking food out of someone else's mouth by not paying. Yes, you'll probably feel guilty -- you bought the stuff, you should pay, I know exactly how that feels -- but your kids have to be fed, your house has to be paid. YOu may or may not eventually pay for the "stuff" you bought, but you'll get through all of this. Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (and I ought to be pretty strong by now...). Good luck! Keep your chin up!

- Erin

On the contrary, it hurts us all.....

 

[Jitzy]

I just wanted to make sure that the OP has contacted Consumer Credit Counseling?! (CCC) Make sure you call the one that is FREE! NO FEES! They will deal with the credit card companies. Even if your husband has an income and you are on unemployment, they might be able to help. I wish you the best!!!

 

[serinlea]

I just wanted to make sure that the OP has contacted Consumer Credit Counseling?! (CCC) Make sure you call the one that is FREE! NO FEES! They will deal with the credit card companies. Even if your husband has an income and you are on unemployment, they might be able to help. I wish you the best!!!

IF you are not in a situation where you will just have to let the credit cards go altogether (and you might end up there), then I have to agree with this advice. CCCS really helped my mom in the early 90's when she was in a super-bad financial place after divorcing my dad.

They are a non-profit and all initial consults are free (once you're on their program you pay all credit card bills to them in one lump sum and a minor fee - I think like $20/month - is added just to cover their administrative costs). But you usually save WAY more than that through their help, because they call the credit card companies for you and get your interest rates knocked way down so long as you stay current on any future payments. Stop paying and it goes back to their crazy-high default rates. I know on at least one of my mom's cards, they agreed to suspend interest entirely - and the others knocked it down to like 4-5%. Saved her hundreds a month on her credit card bills (and this was 15 years ago).

http://www.cccservices.com/ is their site.


But I would say make sure your house, food, vehicle and utility bills are paid and can continue to be paid before you give the credit cards one thin dime. They should be your last priority in this sort of financial crisis until you are on better footing again.

 

[tinkarooni]

You're going to hate this, but here goes...

The week you in your DVC is one week that you won't be job searching, selling stuff on eBay or in your front yard. It is one less week that you will not be actively working to improve your situation.

I understand that people are coming, but you can tell them that you can't afford the gas and ask them to help. The truth is, you can't afford the gas. You can't afford anything right now that is not actively aimed at helping your family.

I'm so sorry. I get no joy from typing this. But it is the truth. Your proverbial house is on fire and you should do nothing but call for help and throw water. There is no time for anything else.

Even with the DVC sale, you have a serious short-term cash crisis.

If you're still planning to go, then at least:

Take your computer with you. Devote just as much time to your job search there as you do at home.

Eat at DVC the same way you are currently are at home. I know that when we travel we always spend more on food than we would at home. It's very easy to justify items that you know aren't in the budget in your home supermarket.

Don't spend one dime trying to shield your visitors from your present situation. One thing you truly cannot afford right now is pridefulness.

I am so sorry for your situation.

Maybe I'm alone out here but I totally agree with you PP. It's great that OP stood up and admitted to us....but maybe it's time to admit to family and friends where you are financially OP. I read all these posts about free lunches and how to keep from having the electricity turned off....you can't afford the tank of gas. Another PP states that you should go and enjoy yourself....three DVC contracts and over $35,000 in CC debt indicates to me that you have been enjoying yourself. Now seems to be the time to reign it in and get serious. Sorry to seem harsh....I really mean well.....I'm telling you the same thing that I would tell a friend. Please step back and take a look.....I wish you the very best of luck.

 

[sameyeyam]

My DH was unemployed and starts back to work on Wednesday! He was spending literally hours each day applying for jobs. Just applying for 2 jobs a day probably isn't going to cut it. Try applying for maybe 20 a day. When he started spending at least 4 hours a day and applying for any and everything that he was even remotely qualified for...well that was when he started getting interviews and calls.

Have you maybe considered working for less money, maybe during a time when your husband is home? That way no daycare expenses. If he works days, then maybe you could find something evenings or weekends. Maybe even at a fast food place. I know, not anyone's first choice. But drastic times call for drastic measures.

Good luck to you.

 

[dfchelbay]

Sorry to hear about your financial situation. I have an idea of how to make some quick money. Maybe go to homes where elderly people live, or busy executives, etc. and offer to weed, plant flowers, do some edging, plant some vegetables, water, or take care of their existing flower beds. People are always appreciative of a solo/singe person caring for their plantings, rather than a company to come flying through, doing as little as possible, and billing them huge amounts. Sometimes people are sick and can't do it themselves. Sometimes, they have a temporary situation healthwise, that prevents them for a certain period of time from taking care of their property. Or, people like having their plants taken care of while they are on vacation too. I know of so many people who are more than willing to hand someone some money to just take care of the weeding, so they don't have to.

Also, you may come across some really nice, caring and friendly people that may become a part of your life, long after you have returned to the accounting field later on.

Hope this helps.

 

[eyor44]

OP, I am very sorry that you and your family are having to deal with this. As a result of this happening to so many people, I have had this fear in the back of my mind for many months. I am doing my best to get my situation better, but not wanting to talk about it to family and friends is hurting my progress. Thank you for posting. Your talking about your situation has helped my resolve.

Now about your pending trip. Go. Sometimes, it helps to take a step back from a situation for a few days. The year Katrina struck (we live near the MS gulf coast) we had a trip planned to WDW and paid off before the hurricane struck. We did not lose our house or jobs, but we did have damage and I took the kids to NY for a month until power and water was restored. A lot of people helped us to which I am not use to. I am normally the one helping others. We struggled with wether to go on vacation or not. Disney did say given the circumstances we could postpon with no penalties. We decided to go. It was already paid for and money saved that we would need for the trip down. DH had stayed the entire time and worked at work and in the neighborhood helping others and cleaning our property. He needed the break. We needed the break to be together as a family away from all of the destruction and caos. The trip helped emensely. I say go, but don't keep from your family the situation you are in. No, you don't have to share all the dirty details, but you can let them know that things aren't the way they used to be.
Keep your chin you. You seem to have a lot of detemination.

 

[sk!mom]

You're going to hate this, but here goes...

The week you're in your DVC is one week that you won't be job searching, selling stuff on eBay or in your front yard. It is one less week that you will not be actively working to improve your situation.

I understand that people are coming, but you can tell them that you can't afford the gas and ask them to help. The truth is, you can't afford the gas. You can't afford anything right now that is not actively aimed at helping your family.

I'm so sorry. I get no joy from typing this. But it is the truth. Your proverbial house is on fire and you should do nothing but call for help and throw water. There is no time for anything else.

Even with the DVC sale, you have a serious short-term cash crisis.

If you're still planning to go, then at least:

Take your computer with you. Devote just as much time to your job search there as you do at home.

Eat at DVC the same way you are currently are at home. I know that when we travel we always spend more on food than we would at home. It's very easy to justify items that you know aren't in the budget in your home supermarket.

Don't spend one dime trying to shield your visitors from your present situation. One thing you truly cannot afford right now is pridefulness.

I am so sorry for your situation.

I completely agree. In your situation a week vacationing is another week that you definitely will not get a job. Is your DH taking a week off?

Canceling and then renting the points is a much better plan.

 

[enchantingodin]

I have not read through every response so forgive me if I repeat a few ideas.

1 - Take you pets to the local animal shelter and get them fixed!!!!! They might do this for free if you tell them you don't have a job. And I'm sorry but I have to REALLY disagree with a few other posters here - only way I'd give up my fur babies is if we lost our home, didn't have anywhere to go, and were living out of our car. They are family - not things!

2 - Stop and I mean STOP feeling guilty about taking money from the gov. You pay taxes right? It's your money. Take it!

3 - Sell the DCV. If you go on the DVC board I'm sure you can find more than a few suggestions on resellers.

4 - Get rid of the cable/house phone. I'd personally KEEP Internet, for job hunting. But reduce the speed if you can. And get you and hubs tracfone.

5 - If you have more than one car - sell it. Maybe even sell both and buy a used minivan, since you have 5 kids. You might be able to get one outright if you sell the others.

6 - After unemployment runs out get a night part time job. I work for publix in the back office (cash room), seems right up your ally. Look into hospitals if you haven't already. We live in FL - there are tons of old people. But do whatever! Fast food, wal-mart, who cares? Just get money flowing in. If your hubs works during the day and you work at night you can share the car and kiddos.

7 - Are any of your kids under 5? Can you get WIC? Their rules are different than food stamps.

8 - Call the CC companies. Be honest. Tell them unfortunately you don't think you're going to be able to make your payments. This will effect your credit for 7 years, 9 if you decide to do bankruptcy. But it's not like you're alone - it's happening to millions of people.

9 - Sell your stuff. Ever seen Dick and Jane (with Jim Carry)? All they had left at the end was a mattress and their home. But I don't recommend you rob a convenience store like they did.

10 - Last but certainly not least; take it one breath at a time. Most people say 'day at a time'. At one low point in my life a day was too long for me to handle - so I shortened it. Things won't be horrible for ever. Do what you have to to keep you family safe and cared for. Just one breath at a time.

 

[eliza61]

I have not read through every response so forgive me if I repeat a few ideas.

1 - Take you pets to the local animal shelter and get them fixed!!!!! They might do this for free if you tell them you don't have a job. And I'm sorry but I have to REALLY disagree with a few other posters here - only way I'd give up my fur babies is if we lost our home, didn't have anywhere to go, and were living out of our car. They are family - not things!

2 - Stop and I mean STOP feeling guilty about taking money from the gov. You pay taxes right? It's your money. Take it!

3 - Sell the DCV. If you go on the DVC board I'm sure you can find more than a few suggestions on resellers.

4 - Get rid of the cable/house phone. I'd personally KEEP Internet, for job hunting. But reduce the speed if you can. And get you and hubs tracfone.

5 - If you have more than one car - sell it. Maybe even sell both and buy a used minivan, since you have 5 kids. You might be able to get one outright if you sell the others.

6 - After unemployment runs out get a night part time job. I work for publix in the back office (cash room), seems right up your ally. Look into hospitals if you haven't already. We live in FL - there are tons of old people. But do whatever! Fast food, wal-mart, who cares? Just get money flowing in. If your hubs works during the day and you work at night you can share the car and kiddos.

7 - Are any of your kids under 5? Can you get WIC? Their rules are different than food stamps.

8 - Call the CC companies. Be honest. Tell them unfortunately you don't think you're going to be able to make your payments. This will effect your credit for 7 years, 9 if you decide to do bankruptcy. But it's not like you're alone - it's happening to millions of people.

9 - Sell your stuff. Ever seen Dick and Jane (with Jim Carry)? All they had left at the end was a mattress and their home. But I don't recommend you rob a convenience store like they did.

10 - Last but certainly not least; take it one breath at a time. Most people say 'day at a time'. At one low point in my life a day was too long for me to handle - so I shortened it. Things won't be horrible for ever. Do what you have to to keep you family safe and cared for. Just one breath at a time.

Amen!!

The only thing I would also add is lose your guilt. I have been in the same place. People are very judgemental (especially here) when you make any type of mistake I find people will make you feel like sh*&^ and like you don't have the right to live. Look how we treat obese or people who have lived beyond their means.

Once I got rid of the guilt and accepted the fact that I'm human & I made a mistake, I was able to make a game plan. That gave me confidence to tackle my situation and be grateful for the real blessings in my life.

The sun will come out.

 

[crisi]

I'm sorry you are in this....you need to go into survival mode.

People who don't make enough to live on don't own timeshares - sell them. People who don't make enough to live on don't have cable - get rid of it. People who don't make enough to live on don't have expensive hobbies like show dogs - its should be easy to find someone in that community willing to take your dogs.

Prior to this crisis you were not making enough money to save anything, but you were making enough money to own DVC, have cable, and have expensive hobbies. I'm not saying this as a judgemental statement - but I want you to recognize that back then you set priorities that have valued having luxuries rather than saving. The hard choices you were unwilling to make then need to be made now.

ETA: Luxury in this case means "not essential but conductive to comfort or pleasure" not "sumptuous living." I know you weren't yachting with Donald Trump.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I would NOT raid your 401k to pay bills.

If you end up filing chapter 7 bankruptcy, your 401K would be protected. If you had already raided it to pay bills, well, then you wouldn't have the 401K left.

I'd hang onto it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm sorry you are in this....you need to go into survival mode.

People who don't make enough to live on don't own timeshares - sell them. People who don't make enough to live on don't have cable - get rid of it. People who don't make enough to live on don't have expensive hobbies like show dogs - its should be easy to find someone in that community willing to take your dogs.

Prior to this crisis you were not making enough money to save anything, but you were making enough money to own DVC, have cable, and have expensive hobbies. I'm not saying this as a judgemental statement - but I want you to recognize that back then you set priorities that have valued having luxuries rather than saving. The hard choices you were unwilling to make then need to be made now.

ITA with all of the above.

I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through.

 

[crisi]

Something else to consider - as you said back early

Yes, I know, an accountant should know better than to get into the trouble we are in but it happend........

If you plan to stay in accounting (and since you hated your job, the time may be ripe for a switch), its probably pretty important to realize that future employers are likely going to pull a credit check on you. And, they, like you, are going to believe an accountant should know better. If you are going to stay in an accounting related field, you need to do everything you can to get your credit score back up and avoid both foreclosure and bankruptcy.

 

[hsmamato2]

I am going to have to swallow my pride and admit the trouble we are in so that we can get some good advice and help.
So the mortgage company granted us three months to skip our payments while we tried to find work. That grace period is now up. We also have a couple of DVC contracts that we owe money on in addition to cell phones, life insurance, car insurance, cable/phone/internet, car payment, electricity, dues, gas so DH can get to work, groceries and any incidentals (which are never small as we have the five children & pets who are always needing something).

You have to sell the DVC contracts immediately- cut all cable,cellphones,internet,and incidentals that aren't a TRUE necessity.
Cut ALL extras at the grocery store- I mean EVERYTHING,NOW. Your kids don't need juiceboxes,sodas,chips or anything non essential right now. Your pets need nothing more than absolute basic care and food (IMO,leftovers,ala the good old days before "petfood" was invented)
Make your own meals,EVERY SINGLE ONE-using rice,dried beans,and spices -a crockpot is a great choice for lots of meals ofr a big family.
EVERY single non essential should be stopped.
If your dh can make enough to pay for the house temporarily,then great- that's where the $$$ should go for now,till you figure out if you can afford to live there anymore.
Everything else can wait till you get some income again. Sad,but this should have been put into effect as soon as the jobs were lost,it would have helped your situation.
Help your kids to help the family,pull together,figure out ways to have fun together that is free- there are plenty of things to do that cost nothing- long walks,pack up some of that homemade food and picnic at a park- go to the library and read books/watch dvd's together-the library also has free computer times- play board games-
your family is the most important thing right now,not 'stuff' anyway.
Dave Ramsey has good advice for situations like this, pay for your shelter,food,electricity,of course. The rest,prioritize till you can afford to pay again. I wish you well,it sounds like a tough change for you.