Death of family member while on vacation?

[kate11razorback]

Has anyone ever had a family member die back home while you were at Disney World? I am facing the possiblity of this and just wondered if anyone else had encountered it and what did you do??

 

[gradtchr]

I was concerned about that happening this summer and honestly had thought about cancelling our trip at one point (it would have meant postponing our wedding too) but after talking to family realized that the family member would have wanted me to go and not to mourn. DH and I had also researched the cost of flying back early and then returning if something happened while we were gone. Unfortunately (i miss him so much which is why I say unforunately) he passed away the week before we went and I was able to go to the funeral and my immediate family was able to attend the wedding as well.

As to your question I don't know if there is a right or wrong thing.

 

[MELSMICE]

I totally understand where you're coming from. We are leaving in less than a week & my gramma is now in the hospital.

She has been told she has congesitve heart failure. I don't think we will be cancelling our trip, but I am petrified that she will not be here when we return.

I am wrestling internally with a lot of emotions myself, so I guess I really have no advice for you, just hugs & prayers.

 

[clutter]

Sadly, yes.

We went when my bil was on the mend from his latest cancer surgery, with a decent prognosis. I actually surprised my dd with the trip the day we left, in case we had to cancel, but my bil was doing so well, even fishing again. Unfortunatly, his tumor grew and caused a sudden, traumatic (in the medical sense), unexpected death.

We were on annual passes, so there was no ticket issue (so I don't know how Disney would handle packages). Disney refunded the unused nights at our hotel. My car rental ended up costing more for three days than it was supposed to for eight, because I lost my weekly rate. The airlines charged me $100 each to change the return flight. (Allowing me to use my really cheap fare was considered 'compassion fare', since I paid well below 50% of full fare.) Bottom line was that my three days ended up costing almost as much as my eight days would have.

But I have to say that the worst was the memories. I realized later that my bil died just at about the same time as my dd and I got our pictures taken at Epcot. I don't know if I can stay at CBR again, although it became my favorite the few days we were there. It didn't help that the night before, I became absolutely totally possessed with the thought that someone I knew died (I thought it was someone at work) and we'd have to leave. I never thought it was my bil. We all thought he had finally beaten his cancer.

Because my bil was seemingly getting better, it was a surprise. Had he been worsening, I would have postponed. It's not something I'd risk.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Has anyone ever had a family member die back home while you were at Disney World? I am facing the possiblity of this and just wondered if anyone else had encountered it and what did you do??

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

 

[m&m's mom]

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

Well I say because you never know for sure and life does go on.
Next Summer all of my very large extended family is going to Alaska together on a cruise. My Grandmother is 91 and in a nursing home. We have thought every year would be the last for her but she holds on. If she dies while we are all in Alaska they would just hold the funeral and I know she would be thrilled just knowing she was so successful at teaching us to love that all of her family wants to be together so much. If she did not have dementia so much she would love knowing we were having a great time.

 

[soccerchick]

Honestly, it would depend on the person and the relationship I had with them. For a close/special relative (in my case, parents, siblings, neices and nephews, and grandfather), I'd stay.

DH and I were on vacation years ago when my great aunt's husband died. I wasn't particularly close to either. I was planning to come home because that seemed like the right thing to do. My parents called and said not to. My aunt wouldn't be happy that we'd cut the trip short, etc. etc. We sent a flower arrangement, sent a personal card, and then visited her when we returned.

I'm sure we all have relatives we would never pick as friends.It seems silly to expect people to put their lives on hold for what might happen to someone you aren't close to.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Well I say because you never know for sure and life does go on.
Next Summer all of my very large extended family is going to Alaska together on a cruise. My Grandmother is 91 and in a nursing home. We have thought every year would be the last for her but she holds on. If she dies while we are all in Alaska they would just hold the funeral and I know she would be thrilled just knowing she was so successful at teaching us to love that all of her family wants to be together so much. If she did not have dementia so much she would love knowing we were having a great time.

Of course you never know for sure, and it's different for each family and how close you are to the family member that's dying. I for one could not enjoy a trip to WDW knowing that a close family member may die while I'm out having a good time. That's just me. I'm sure everyone's circumstances are different.

 

[Traveliz]

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

Umm I think that is harsh - one year an aunt was rumored to just have a few weeks left (she was in a nursing home) and we went....she lived three more years.

Each situation is unique and I suspect that is why the OP asked about it.

Liz

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Umm I think that is harsh - one year an aunt was rumored to just have a few weeks left (she was in a nursing home) and we went....she lived three more years.

Each situation is unique and I suspect that is why the OP asked about it.

Liz

I don't think it's harsh to say don't go. I also stated in a later post that each person's circumstances are different, so maybe going forth with the trip might be the best decision for him/her. The OP didn't provide many details, so I gave my opinion based on what the info provided.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Not death, inparticular, but arson. Our family business burned to the ground while I was at WDW the first time. We'd planned several days at WDW and only got one before Mom and Dad packed the van and brought us home.

Life changed for us permanently that day...

 

[NC Belle]

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

Well, I had a great-aunt that died 2 weeks ago and her funeral was last week. We had talked to my folks and other relatives who agreed that we would not change our plans because we can still honor her at WDW. My great-aunt loved to travel and loved Italian resteraunts so we had toasted to her at every dinner.

My aunt would have been 90 next week and did not remember us the past year and half....so I preferred honoring her by showing kindness to others at every park (several kids got pins).

 

[Cruisin]

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

If you did that you might never go anywhere.

Case in point, my inlaws. They have been waiting for her brotherinlaw to die for over 3 years now. Oh, can't go away because Uncle Bill might die Ummmm, okay.

What a waste of life

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

No, but my grandmother (who lived in FL at the time) passed away while we were vacationing in NH. My sister and my mother left our vacation early and flew down to FL to take care of things.

 

[graygables]

My DB and SIL were in WDW with their 2 kids when her mother died unexpectedly. They went straight to her Dad's and have never returned to WDW. I completely understand why they left, but I do not understand why they never returned. Their kids had never been (always wanted to) and now they are 9th and 12th graders. They had an opportunity to go on some CM discounts earlier this year (my DD was a CP), but SIL pitched a fit and refused. It's really sad as my DB and I have some *wonderful* memories of being there together on our first parent-free vacation when I was 19 & he was 21 and he loved Epcot so much, but will never get to see it again unless SIL divorces him (not an unlikely happenstance, btw)

There are times that I have twangs of sadness (I was PG w/ DD1 on one trip and got beat up, smacked around, and verbally abused by my ex in various places in and around WDW), but I don't let that stop me from making new and happy memories.

I hope you are able to find peace and a resolution!

 

[Chris2597]

My mom has been in ill health on and off for several years. She is in her mid 80's now and we still face the decision of whether to go on vacation or not....I decided several years ago that I would arrange help while I am gone, but I cant put my life on total hold....I cant miss the memories with my own children....She has been fine each time I left and when I returned..It is a hassle to arrange for the help but it is well worth the effort...My youngest dd is 17, the oldest 26 and I am so glad that I made that decision, as the memories we have of our fun family vacations are priceless.

 

[shortbun]

Ummm, how about NOT going? A family member dying seems a little more important to me than a trip to WDW.

This seems a little judgemental. Maybe it was the "Ummm."
On my side of the family, if one is on vacation they are not contacted about death unless they ask to be. We have memorial services that we schedule when everyone can be there. We care about each other very deeply but we have all learned what we CAN and CAN Not control. I love it and think it is civilized and peaceful. Luckily, WE get to choose what's important. We try really hard not to interject drama with death; we choose peace if possible.

 

[minkydog]

My step-dad died while my sister & her family were in WDW. We knew he was sick, but we didn't think he was gonna die right then. Well, he did and they came back home immediately. The only one who was upset about it was my jerky BIL. We were very close to my step-dad and she & her kids wanted to be there to participate in the funeral.

Last year my dad died. He was an arrogant jerk all his life. When he died my other sister was on vacation 3000 miles away. She chose not to drop everything and go home and nobody blamed her. She is not sorry and I think she did the right thing.

I don't think you can put your life on hold "just in case" someone might die. You have to ask yourself how it might affect you if that were to happen. If you couldn't live with it (and it seems imminent), then perhaps you should stay home.

 

[DisMN]

My dad had had many close calls and near what was absolutely the end (due to inability to eat any longer so yes, it was inevitable at this point) he paid for a trip for me, my granddaughter and my sister and her children.
We debated whether to go and whether we'd come home if he died while we were there. We decided we'd play it by ear and if we felt we HAD to come home we would, but we also left room for the possibility that we would let the little ones finish their vacation and then go home for the funeral. He'd have been gone so the funeral could wait until we returned.

We also knew he wanted to hear about our trip because he'd bought it for us......so we hoped he'd hang on long enough. He passed away 10 days after we got home.

I agree with the poster who said try not to interject drama with death. If you're gone would they be able to hold off for a day or two with the funeral? As tremendously sad as it is at times, life does go on.....

 

[Nutsy]

Yes, but was not at WDW was in New Zealand when my Dad passed away 16 years ago.

He had been sick for years and I got a call one night to say he was in hospital and then 3 days later another call, this time early morning to say he was gone. We flew home later that morning.

My Mum passed away just over a week ago and hasn't been well for the past 18 months, we normally take a family holiday in September, but this year didn't...one reason being that after being away (non even in the same country) when my Dad passed away, I was reluctant to go away when I knew my Mum was far from well. I didn't want history repeating itself.