Dealing with Heartbreak...

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

How do you all cope with heartbreak?

What do you turn to or what activities do you participate in?


Going through a hard time in my life right now and could use some advice

 

[TavieP]

It's a cliche, but it's true: time is the best healer for this. The hard part is what to do with yourself to fill that time

Distraction, distraction, distraction - novels and movies and binge-y tv shows are the best. Not love-centered ones, but something with an exciting story that keeps you hooked. (Think Breaking Bad, Lost, that kind of thing.)

Let yourself mope. Make a mope-y playlist and really lean into it. Let those feelings happen. Then... do something else.

It gets easier, it really does. There are other hearts out there. Really good ones.

 

[gillep]

The last time that I was going through a difficult time I found that exercising really helped. Prior to that time I was NOT an exerciser, I love to walk, but anything more than that was torture. I ended up getting into running (I started with one of those couch to 5k apps on my phone) and I also joined a gym to do barre and yoga classes. The exercise really helped with giving me something to do, goals, and was a good mood booster. Good luck to you .

 

[CdnCarrie]

Venting to friends. A strong group of friends really helps.

 

[GreatLakes]

Stay occupied. If you have a hobby put more time or effort into that. Running is my go to.

 

[amberpi]

The first thing I thought of was inappropriate for the Dis...lol, but I do think that staying occupied, spending time with friends, and generally doing anything you can for you.

Regardless, OP, heartbreak sucks and I really hopes your's heals as quickly as possible.

 

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

thank you everyone trying to learn how to "love myself"

 

[luvbwv]

Being a widow, I know a bit about heartbreak. The best advice I can give you is do what feels right for you. People may think you are doing it the wrong way but everyone handles things differently. Sometimes you just have to take things 1 minute at a time, looking into the future seems impossible, you feel like you will never make it, but trust me, you will. A lot of people told me that I would be fine, to be honest I did not believe them! Now, 4 1/2 years later I can tell you that I am happy again, it is just a different happy.

This was my journey:

• first it sucked
• then it sucked some mor
• then when I didn't think it could suck anymore, it did!
• finally one day I realized I was smiling more than I was crying, and I realized I survived!!!

I guess my advice is, do whatever you feel you need at that moment. Stay busy, sleep, read a book, watch silly movies, hang out with friends whatever it takes.
Good luck to you, I hope the heartbreak is short lived and life gets better really soon!

 

[Imzadi]

Understand there are 5 stages of grief/loss/heartbeak as recognized & documented by well respected Swiss-American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. You will cycle through them (and often out of order,) MANY times. Knowing & recognizing what the stages are helps a lot. You may find yourself angry too often and at the wrong people & things. Other times, you may actually think you've made it through and you are feeling great. Then another wave of the heartbreak hits you. It's ALL natural and a part of the process. Let it all happen so you can heal.

The 5 Stages:

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

If your heartbreak is due to the loss of a romantic relationship, make a list of everything that was annoying about your partner & why that relationship wasn’t working. Refer to it every time you are thinking of rekindling the relationship.

 

[Imzadi]

If your heartbreak is due to the loss of a romantic relationship, make a list of everything that was annoying about your partner & why that relationship wasn’t working. Refer to it every time you are thinking of rekindling the relationship.

This is a perfect example of the "Denial" & "Bargaining" stage of the 5 stages of grief I mentioned in the post above. Where one goes into denial/forgetfulness about all the bad parts of the relationship, in hopes of bargaining to get back the relationship. "Maybe if I do. . . Or we try. . ." All that does is basically delay the grief, if you do get back together, and all the reasons it didn't work the first time, are still underlying and resurface.

Same for if the heartbreak is because you lost someone through death. You may think about various things you wish you had done differently, said something different, better. In some twisted way, that's kind of bargaining to get more time to do things differently. But, at core, it's really beating oneself up. All those things can't be changed or done differently. Going over those things is only hurting oneself. Recognize, you are in the Bargaining stage, then do something nurturing for yourself to get through your loss.

 

[ols386]

As others have said, distraction distraction distraction. Everyone (or at least most people) has to deal with heartbreak at least once in their life. It’s painful, and the only way to get to the other side of heartbreak, is to go through it. Someone earlier in the thread mentioned the 5 steps of grief, and I totally agree with them. You will be ok. Wishing all the best for you.

 

[luvbwv]

Understand there are 5 stages of grief/loss/heartbeak as recognized & documented by well respected Swiss-American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. You will cycle through them (and often out of order,) MANY times. Knowing & recognizing what the stages are helps a lot. You may find yourself angry too often and at the wrong people & things. Other times, you may actually think you've made it through and you are feeling great. Then another wave of the heartbreak hits you. It's ALL natural and a part of the process. Let it all happen so you can heal.

The 5 Stages:

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

I know that the 5 stages are real and many people go through them but many of the widows in my widow group did not experience most of them, myself included. I had the depression and finally the acceptance, none of the other ones ever surfaced. Other widows in the group have had similar experiences.
I am not saying that the five stages is not accurate for some but, in my experience it does not always happen that way.

 

[frostedpink]

You should try crocheting. I started this winter and I absolutely love it. It gives me something to do. It’s not just for grandmas. Lots of cute patterns on Pinterest and tons of tutorials on YouTube

 

[low-key]

You just have to hurt, no short cuts

 

[kuhltiffany]

Volunteering! I know spending time at the food bank really helps me appreciate what I have...

 

[a1tinkfans]

How do you all cope with heartbreak?

What do you turn to or what activities do you participate in?


Going through a hard time in my life right now and could use some advice

I’m sorry for whatever you are dealing with.
Hang in there. Time still moves forward and each hour, day will be another step forward. As difficult as it is.. choose to keep pressing forward.. perhaps take a walk, take in your surroundings, open ur heart to the sounds and sites around you. Time will pass and with it, realization that even for that mere minute.. YOU Survived it. You Can do it!
I hope at some point you will come back to let us know that u are Doing better
Wishing u the Best!!

 

[Kitty 34]

I used to keep a journal when I was younger. It really did help and it's a hoot to thumb through pages now........years later!

to you OP.

 

[jerseygal]

Hope that your heart begins to feel better. As others have said, exercise helps the mind, even more than the body, as hard as it may be at first and hopefully, a good friend or friends that you can confide in and consider volunteering a few hours a week to help someone in need.
Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. If you find that you need to speak with a professional to establish some goals and be a sounding board, you owe it to yourself, to speak with a professional who can help with the reset of your goals. Sorry that you are going through a tough time. Most of all, have faith in your future!

 

[Lynn CC]

I think under any circumstances, heartbreak included it helps to write a letter. Write it with the intent that your going to give it to that person. Weather you do or not in the end is up to you.
Sometimes they can be lengthy once you get going. I once had a 9 page letter. It helps get out your feelings, you may laugh, cry feel like you can’t continue writing until someday you finally finish it & feel closure & accomplishment. Just remember you will be stronger from the experience.
Hugs