DD's former boyfriend had a gun when he sought her out!

[Pam]

Claudia,
Every time that young man shows up in public waving that gun around - or even having it in public view - someone should be picking up their cell phone or regular phone and calling the police. If it's a handgun, he should be required by law to have a permit for it.

Larry,
I don't know what year you graduated, but as the Mom of 2 teens - it is illegal to have even an aspirin on you on school property. That goes for a penknife, a steak knife, a paring knife, either on your person, in your locker or bookbag, or even in your car - all are grounds for the school calling the police. You are arrested and have to go to court. Taking a gun to school is just ludicrous!

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Pam
Claudia,
Every time that young man shows up in public waving that gun around - or even having it in public view - someone should be picking up their cell phone or regular phone and calling the police. If it's a handgun, he should be required by law to have a permit for it.

Larry,
I don't know what year you graduated, but as the Mom of 2 teens - it is illegal to have even an aspirin on you on school property. That goes for a penknife, a steak knife, a paring knife, either on your person, in your locker or bookbag, or even in your car - all are grounds for the school calling the police. You are arrested and have to go to court. Taking a gun to school is just ludicrous!

actually in PA, you need a permit to carry a handgun concealed, if you want to wear it in a holster like a cowboy, no permit is required..

 

[LarryC]

Originally posted by Pam
Larry,
I don't know what year you graduated, but as the Mom of 2 teens - it is illegal to have even an aspirin on you on school property.

I am very familiar with the current rules about weapons and such on school property. I am also familiar with the laws of most states regarding posession of a weapon without a permit.

Neither or the penalties for breaking those rules is DEATH, which is what can happen to this girl if she is unarmed and confronted by this psycho with the gun.

A high school aged child being stalked by someone who is KNOWN (known!) to be armed, and this stalker has already commited a felonioius assult (pointing the gun at her),and the police are not arresting this guy?

Are you all gonna feel better giving her eulogy about how she followed the rules?

There are bad people in the world. Some of these bad people don't follow the rules that you and I follow. Some of these bad people intend to hurt us, and they have the means to do it. Why wouldn't anyone not give themselves a chance of staying alive?

"Be not afraid of any man, no matter what his size. When danger threatens, call on me, and I will equalize".......Samuel Colt.

I suggest everyone read "More Guns, Less Crime" by John Lott. It sounds like most of you are on the Sarah Brady mailing list.

 

[Pam]

Mickey,
Actually, I thought the permit was in PA was for a concealed weapon, like you said. It just sounded as though this young man would conceal the weapon and then wave it around.

Larry,
Ummmm.... no, no card waving Sarah Brady member here. Actually my spouse is a member of the NRA and he and my teen son are hunters. But - they have been trained and certified by the PA Game Commission and adhere to and respect the gun laws.

My concern is that you tell everyone they can carry a gun - and they have zero training - and they panic and end up shooting innocent bystanders or themselves. Being a trained and responsible weapons owner is key here.

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by LarryC
I am very familiar with the current rules about weapons and such on school property. I am also familiar with the laws of most states regarding posession of a weapon without a permit.

Neither or the penalties for breaking those rules is DEATH, which is what can happen to this girl if she is unarmed and confronted by this psycho with the gun.

A high school aged child being stalked by someone who is KNOWN (known!) to be armed, and this stalker has already commited a felonioius assult (pointing the gun at her),and the police are not arresting this guy?

Are you all gonna feel better giving her eulogy about how she followed the rules?

There are bad people in the world. Some of these bad people don't follow the rules that you and I follow. Some of these bad people intend to hurt us, and they have the means to do it. Why wouldn't anyone not give themselves a chance of staying alive?

"Be not afraid of any man, no matter what his size. When danger threatens, call on me, and I will equalize".......Samuel Colt.

I suggest everyone read "More Guns, Less Crime" by John Lott. It sounds like most of you are on the Sarah Brady mailing list.

in addition to encouraging her to break the law and end up expelled from school, you're overlooking an even more important point,

it is a known fact that unless she is certain she would use the weapon, she is putting herself at risk by having it,

if she pulls a gun and is not willing to use it, he will be able to tell, and the gun could be used against her...

I very strongly disagree with the retired judge who said he has not crossed the line, following her with the intent to intimidate or cause fear is clearly stalking, I would get an attorney and push the issue...

 

[LarryC]

Originally posted by Pam
Being a trained and responsible weapons owner is key here.

I concur wholeheartedly, but I don't know in this situation if she has the time. However, I agree, everyone, including children, should be trained in the safe and proper use of firearms.

 

[snoopy]

My goodness Claudia! That is awful. I hope this never happens again, but if it does, I pray that someone has the good sense to call the police.

My sister was also a magnet for controlling boys when she was young, so I'm all too familiar with this type of behavior. The more the girl resists, the more attached the boy becomes. Don't leave any stone unturned -- I'd let the school and the police know exactly what transpired yesterday.

Good luck, and stay safe!

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by Claudia1

I should also mention that he is 18 and she is still on 17. She also has a large group of friends that are fighting mad. I hope that the guys don't do anything stupid to protect her! They really need to leave it up to us & the law!

First of all, I don't agree with Larry, but I sure as heck think that what he is saying has some merit. I would never allow my daughter to carry a gun, though, especially at a young age. Some mature, adult needs to have the guns. Maybe Larry could volunteer to come and be her bodyguard.

It sounds like a really scary situation. My sister dated a creep that my mother never did realize was bad. Do anything in your power to keep him away from her. In Iowa, there are statatory rape laws. I believe that your daughter is a minor, and her ex is an adult. It doesn't matter if consent is given, if she's underage, it's rape. So, maybe look into this issue. I'd hate to see a guy go to jail for something like this because most of these cases it would be tragic. However, in this situation, I would think anyway you could get him away from her would be good. This, of course, only works if they are sexually active.

 

[LarryC]

Originally posted by MICKEY88
it is a known fact that unless she is certain she would use the weapon, she is putting herself at risk by having it,

"a known fact"? Known by whom? This makes no sense, however, I agree that having a gun and NOT using it is the same as not having one in the first place. But what are you defining as "use"? Firing it? Pulling it out? Displaying part of it?

Do you realize that guns are used over 2 MILLION times each year by citizens defending themselves against criminals and that in 80% of these cases no shot is fired? Simply the display of the weapon has diffused the situation.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

That is a horrible situation. I absolutely disgaree that situation could be improved with the addition of a gun in your dd's hands. One thing I did want to comment in are the suggestions to change your dd's cell phone number. I wouldn't do that. They say that maintaining contact (allowing them to contact you), is kind of a window into their thinking. Patterns of contact will usually change before a violent act occurs (as in changes from violent threats to acting on them) so it can give some warning. Also to cut off contact makes the stalker more desparate and react by taking worse measures.

 

[sandramaac]

I would arm your daughter with a video camera, the small hand held type . Everytime this jerk shows up I wolud have her video type the incident. She would not say a word, simply pick the camera up and start recording. I can almost bet that he would immediaely cease his activites.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Do everything within the legal system that you can to keep this guy away from your daughter. Around here they hang up purple ribbon's on the door of the Women's shelter whenever a woman is killed by a violent BF or spouse. So please, I hate seeing these ribbons up all of the time. Do what you can.

 

[poohandwendy]

Larry,

What you are overlooking is that her having a gun almost guarantees that any confrontation will turn into a gun battle. It very well may not if she is not a threat. Calling his bluff when she is untrained and scared will not be in her favor at all.

Also, she would also be endangering the lives of others if this were to occur on school property. As a parent of 2 HS students, I really wouldn't appreciate knowing my child was inadvertently killed because a girl decided that she could face-off a disgrunted exBF with a gun she had no business carrying on school property.

This kid needs to be dealt with by LE, period. She needs to do her best to AVOID a dangerous situation, not approach it like a duel at 'high noon'.

 

[poohandwendy]

Originally posted by LarryC
Did any one of you gun-haters ever think that if ONE other student BESIDES the killers had a gun that this tragedy might have been prevented?

You all seem to attribute the bad things that can happen when a gun is present, while ignoring the fact that a gun can save your life.

Maybe you all should read the story of the female doctor in Texas who was forced to leave her gun outside the Luby's restaurant and watched helplessly as her parents and 20 other were slaughtered by a maniac with a gun. If she had been allowed to bring her weapon inside, she could have stopped this madman.

If this pyscho who is stalking your daughter pulls a gun and attempts to harm her, do you think your "pixie dust" is going to help her? Get real!!

While I sincerely hope the police can prosecute this criminal, the fact remains that obeying a rule and being dead is NOT better than breaking a rule and being and alive. It's better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6.

LOL, I am not a gun-hater. Not by a long shot. I am someone who thinks guns should be carried by ADULTS who are trained in their proper use. Not scared, untrained 17 year old girls.

Btw, if you knew anything about Columbine, you would know that these boys were suicidal, they were also PREPARED for retaliation and calculated, the place was total chaos, most kids weren't even sure who was doing the shooting...adding another gun would not have made the difference you seem to think it would have. Are you suggesting that kids should be carrying hand guns to school, just in case? Are you serious?

Guns can protect people ONLY when they are properly trained and prepared to use them. Otherwise, carrying them is just dangerous and irresponsible.

 

[kimbac3]

It reminds me of that show on lifetime that Jo from the Facts of Life starred in. Her ex husband was abusive and she tried restraining orders and everything. She ended up almost beaten to death by the guy.
If arming DD is out of the question then arming your own DH should be a consideration. (For household protection).
Also a trained protection dog might be a good idea.
I do agree with Larry that if more law abiding citizens were trained with firearms criminals and wackos may think twice. It is also widely know that "bad guys" tend to avoid places or people who might confront them.

I pray this ends well for you all.

Kimba

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by LarryC
Did any one of you gun-haters ever think that if ONE other student BESIDES the killers had a gun that this tragedy might have been prevented?[\/quote]

Why stop at one, have the entire student body start carrying guns. What happens then?

Have the police handle it, like a grown up. You don't take matters into your own hands and start shooting people. Give me a break.

And what leads you to believe I hate guns? Because I don't think children should be carrying them to school? Whatever, I think that's called being an adult and thinking like an adult.

 

[LarryC]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
Have the police handle it, like a grown up.

You are obviously under the impression that the police are here to protect you. Too bad that's a false impression, one that they will confirm. They are there to investigate crime and catch the criminals. By definition, someone is not a criminal until they commit the crime. IF they have not arrested this individual yet, what makes you think they will? What are they waiting for, him to actually shoot her?

If you want to rely on the police to catch the guy AFTER he kills the person he is stalking, then use the police for protection.

Anyone who doesn't do EVERYTHING they can to protect their children from a gun-wielding stalker is living in a pixie-dust dream world. Just go ask the freinds and relatives of the many many women who are stalked, stabbed, strangled, or shot by their stalkers.

Ask their grieving parents if they wish their dead daughter had a means to defend herself. Their hindsight is always 20/20, but their hindsight does not get their daughter out of the ground.

 

[Madi100]

I think the whole gun issue is holding this thread hostage. It's gotten completely away from the main topic, which is a scary one. The gun issue can be a whole other debate, don't you think?

 

[poohandwendy]

Larry,

You are still responding under the illusion that having a gun will PROTECT her. Unless you are suggesting that she just walk up behind him and shoot him in the back of the head, you are advising an unexperienced, scared teen to turn this situation into a gun battle. Once this guy sees her carrying a gun, he will have no alternative but to raise the stakes, just to save face alone.

You assume that he will kill her anyways. If she threatens him with a gun, you are probably right. The odds are in his favor.

What Claudias daughter needs to do is press the issue with the police, the kid has already committed a crime by having a gun on school property. There are 3 witnesses to that fact. Getting the police involved is the first deterrent.

 

[LisaSt]

This is why I feel there should really be a new legislation for gun controll in the US to many nuts carrying guns that legally went out and got one becasue it is so easy to do so.