DIS Dads DDC XXXII: A Dole Whip in Paradise

[AirGoofy]

Rule number one. DO NOT TELL YOUR KIDS THE STUPID STUFF YOU DID! That goes for all of you. Some mild antidotes of silly things are OK but not the Oh MY God I Could Have Killed Myself stuff. Wait until they are older and you have much more dirt on them. Imagine this scenario...
.

Of course not. Never write it down. Deny. Deny. Deny.

.
There was nothing I could do. I curled up in the fetal position and awaited the inevitable. James was laughing hysterically in the front seat and Scummy just slumped lower and lower in his seat to keep his head below the rapidly growing cloud of smoke that filled the car so he could attempt to keep driving. As the fuses reached their conclusion, every daggone one of them did what they were designed to do. They flew. Oh my did they ever fly. I was peppered up and down the left side of my body with live ammo. It felt like a hundred bee stings. I had burn holes in my clothes from the rockets red glare and a hundred little explosions. These weren't burn marks, these were BURN HOLES. I even had several holes burned in to the crotch of my shorts. I kept those shorts and used them as a visual aid when telling the story to high school kids in the years to come.
go.

Yes, post pictures. I could show those shorts to a kid trying to date my daughter. I could say, "see what I did to the last kid".

 

[twokids0204]

Video of the launch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwHlThkmO0A

Sorry for the horrible quality. Clearly, I should have hired Cinematic Recording Arts Productions to do my video.

Nice job... when you slow down the movement you could make out the other lanterns flying...

 

[twokids0204]

....ok, where was I. Ah yes, the pivot point of our story. Here is where wind, physics, an itty-bitty rocket engine and Murphy's Law all came together. The bottle rocket took a sharp left and came right back through the very window from which it had been released. It flew right past my face and struck the rear, driver's side window, and fell to the seat. A second later, it popped as all bottle rockets do. Have you been paying attention? Do you know what is sitting in the seat behind the driver? If you said, "a bag full of bottle rockets" you are correct! Now what do you think Murphy's Law would have happen at this point? Of course.. Tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss. That's the sound of many, many, many bottle rocket fuses all lighting.

There was nothing I could do. I curled up in the fetal position and awaited the inevitable. James was laughing hysterically in the front seat and Scummy just slumped lower and lower in his seat to keep his head below the rapidly growing cloud of smoke that filled the car so he could attempt to keep driving. As the fuses reached their conclusion, every daggone one of them did what they were designed to do. They flew. Oh my did they ever fly. I was peppered up and down the left side of my body with live ammo. It felt like a hundred bee stings. I had burn holes in my clothes from the rockets red glare and a hundred little explosions. These weren't burn marks, these were BURN HOLES. I even had several holes burned in to the crotch of my shorts. I kept those shorts and used them as a visual aid when telling the story to high school kids in the years to come.

It was over as quickly as it began. We got to the go-kart place and all of our buddies raced over to see what happened. Nobody was hurt, but the car was fried. Back seat- fried, both front seats - fried, headliner - obliterated. Fortunately, Scummy's uncle ran a car dealership and they handled the repairs. Scummy's dad let me off easy and only made me pay about $100 but I hear he was furious. Interesting side note: my sister-in-law was friends with Scummy's cousin (I didn't know her back then) and happened to be vacationing with Scummy's family when they got the call saying what happened. She confirmed that dad was indeed furious.

These days, all is forgiven as I see Scummy's family often. He was best man at my wedding and I do a lot of work for their tutoring business. Without them, I wouldn't be in WDW nearly as often.

I think I need to not be so hard on my son. When it comes to bad ideas, he has a long way to go.

Funny yes... but as funny as it is, and as easy to look back and laugh.... DUDE that's scary!!!! Glad no one was hurt!!!!

Oh, and the fact the original ideas came from a kid named Seth... doesn't surprise me in the least.

 

[disdadIL]

Great to see you got the donation page up! I gotta start my ToT training lol

Thank you sir for your very generous donation!!
What are you using for your training plan?

 

[moose615]

Thank you sir for your very generous donation!! What are you using for your training plan?

Your welcome. Since I'm a month behind I'm going to do the Tuesday, Thursday Saturday run and increase a mile per week. Various other training through the other days.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

The silence is due the fact that none of us are surprised by this.

I would expect nothing else.

Bottle rockets... The inspiration for fun times, incredible memories and stupid ideas everywhere.

I'm thinking about going to buy a couple hundred of the little buggers right now...

....ok, where was I. Ah yes, the pivot point of our story. Here is where wind, physics, an itty-bitty rocket engine and Murphy's Law all came together. The bottle rocket took a sharp left and came right back through the very window from which it had been released. It flew right past my face and struck the rear, driver's side window, and fell to the seat. A second later, it popped as all bottle rockets do. Have you been paying attention? Do you know what is sitting in the seat behind the driver? If you said, "a bag full of bottle rockets" you are correct! Now what do you think Murphy's Law would have happen at this point? Of course.. Tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss, tsss. That's the sound of many, many, many bottle rocket fuses all lighting.

There was nothing I could do. I curled up in the fetal position and awaited the inevitable. James was laughing hysterically in the front seat and Scummy just slumped lower and lower in his seat to keep his head below the rapidly growing cloud of smoke that filled the car so he could attempt to keep driving. As the fuses reached their conclusion, every daggone one of them did what they were designed to do. They flew. Oh my did they ever fly. I was peppered up and down the left side of my body with live ammo. It felt like a hundred bee stings. I had burn holes in my clothes from the rockets red glare and a hundred little explosions. These weren't burn marks, these were BURN HOLES. I even had several holes burned in to the crotch of my shorts. I kept those shorts and used them as a visual aid when telling the story to high school kids in the years to come.

It was over as quickly as it began. We got to the go-kart place and all of our buddies raced over to see what happened. Nobody was hurt, but the car was fried. Back seat- fried, both front seats - fried, headliner - obliterated. Fortunately, Scummy's uncle ran a car dealership and they handled the repairs. Scummy's dad let me off easy and only made me pay about $100 but I hear he was furious. Interesting side note: my sister-in-law was friends with Scummy's cousin (I didn't know her back then) and happened to be vacationing with Scummy's family when they got the call saying what happened. She confirmed that dad was indeed furious.

These days, all is forgiven as I see Scummy's family often. He was best man at my wedding and I do a lot of work for their tutoring business. Without them, I wouldn't be in WDW nearly as often.

I think I need to not be so hard on my son. When it comes to bad ideas, he has a long way to go.

That. Is. AWESOME.

 

[theduck619]

Good morning guys!

 

[moose615]

Good morning guys, who else is excited for the Grand opening of Diagon Alley at Universal today?!?! ;crickets chirp; Looking forward to my Dark side and WDW trips coming up, 71 days till the dark side trip!

 

[Wherem I Now]

Ok- here goes.

Thank you for that!

 

[RodBelding]

Morning guys!


Just curious; who's going to follow up the bottle-rocket story today? That was some good stuff!

 

[AirGoofy]

Morning all. We had another round of thunderstorms last night, but it looks clear this AM. Both dds have dentist appointments today. . My work has dental insurance that covers cleanings only. Any cavity fillings are paid out of their college fund. .

Just curious; who's going to follow up the bottle-rocket story today? That was some good stuff!

I could try a few "when I was drunk" stories, but like CJ said, never tell your kids what you did. And, my previous $.02

Never write it down. Deny. Deny. Deny.
:

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

‘Morning all…
Tuesday beats Monday, but not by much.
On the up side, I’m off next week. Well, truth be told, I’m “off” every day, but I don’t have to be in the office next week so there is that to look forward to. Some time on the coast will most certainly be in order.

I would expect nothing else.

Always good to keep one’s expectation realistic.

Good morning guys!

Dzień dobry!

Good morning guys, who else is excited for the Grand opening of Diagon Alley at Universal today?!?! ;crickets chirp; Looking forward to my Dark side and WDW trips coming up, 71 days till the dark side trip!

You’ll have to let us know what you think of the new place once you get back.
And the rest of the WDW trip of course.

Morning guys!


Just curious; who's going to follow up the bottle-rocket story today? That was some good stuff!

Great idea!

You start.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Ok- here goes. Get comfy, this is a long story that I will probably have to tell over a few posts.

Holy cow, what a story! Virtually cinematic in the re-telling. I read it aloud to my family last night and we all thought it was hilarious.

Growing up on the farm, you sometimes found yourself with an excess of free time and a lack of supervision. So my brother and I would wander around the pasture, find the freshest cow pies we could, and stick a couple of firecrackers in them.

Yes, for fun, we blew up poop.

Is anyone surprised? Anyone? Bueller?

I'll call Delaware and see what I can do.

Any luck? I have to call in on Wednesday night.

Video of the launch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwHlThkmO0A

Sorry for the horrible quality. Clearly, I should have hired Cinematic Recording Arts Productions to do my video.

If you had, you'd still have horrible quality video, but it might have cool music ripped off from a better movie.

Ok... I was literally laughing out loud at my desk reading this. There are tears in my eyes. First of all, Rob might be onto something about writing a book. You've got a skill for telling a story effectively. Secondly, if this post doesn't deserve a permanent link on page one of the DDC, I don't know what does.

and

Glad you enjoyed it. As I was writing it I was thinking "How would Captain Oblivious tell this?" Plus I've told the story a few times.

I really appreciate the compliment. But clearly you can tell a great story with anyone. How come you haven't written a TR yet?

 

[budamacdvcr]

A few pictures from the weekend's Independence Day Holiday... (Canadians - just use your imagination to replace the Stars & Stripes with a Maple leaf so you can enjoy along with with rest of us) .

Very cool and thanks for sharing

 

[Goofy + 3]

I haven't gotten past this point yet but am already laughing hysterically.

As is noted in my tag, bad decisions often lead to great stories!
Funny that you mention your son. I find myself correcting my daughters and then I sit back and go, "Damnit, they get that from me."

What a fantastic story. I think of all the juvenile pranks and flat out dangerous things that I did in my youth and pray that karma is kind to me.

I do believe many a great story begins with, "We had a bunch of bottle rockets."

Glad it was only the car and not the fools inside the thing. Save that one for your Son’s wedding as well just to show the guests that it’s not only the groom that needs to be watched out for, and as a warning to the bride that these things are inheritable and she will need to vigilant in years to come.

As stories I've heard told go…
This one ranks high on the list for entertainment value (and lessons hard learned).
Well done sir.

Why hasn't this been put to film??

Of course not. Never write it down. Deny. Deny. Deny.



Yes, post pictures. I could show those shorts to a kid trying to date my daughter. I could say, "see what I did to the last kid".

Funny yes... but as funny as it is, and as easy to look back and laugh.... DUDE that's scary!!!! Glad no one was hurt!!!!

Oh, and the fact the original ideas came from a kid named Seth... doesn't surprise me in the least.

That. Is. AWESOME.

Thank you for that!

Thanks for the kind words, boys. I don't know how that story hasn't come up before.

OK, we need evidence. A picture of the shorts must to be produced.



Rule number one. DO NOT TELL YOUR KIDS THE STUPID STUFF YOU DID! That goes for all of you. Some mild antidotes of silly things are OK but not the Oh MY God I Could Have Killed Myself stuff. Wait until they are older and you have much more dirt on them. Imagine this scenario...

You: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
Them: At least I didn't blow up the car.
You: Shut up.

The Pirate Princess now knows many of my "stories" and she has even opened up with some "Remember when I said I was going to Matilda's..." but I would never have given her that kind of intel when she was a teenager.

Wisdom from a guy who's been there. Thank you.

Holy cow, what a story! Virtually cinematic in the re-telling. I read it aloud to my family last night and we all thought it was hilarious.

I really appreciate the compliment. But clearly you can tell a great story with anyone. How come you haven't written a TR yet?

I've thought about it and even tried it once. I took notes during our 2010 trip each night after the kids went to bed so I wouldn't forget anything. Somehow it just never turned in to a trip report. I think it just looks like so much work. Plus back then I didn't know how to post a picture so that dampened my excitement. Maybe I'll give it a try after the August trip. Funny stuff is more fun to tell so maybe I'll ease off on supervising my son a little and see what happens.

 

[theduck619]

‘


Dzień dobry!

 

[RodBelding]

I've thought about it and even tried it once. I took notes during our 2010 trip each night after the kids went to bed so I wouldn't forget anything. Somehow it just never turned in to a trip report. I think it just looks like so much work. Plus back then I didn't know how to post a picture so that dampened my excitement. Maybe I'll give it a try after the August trip. Funny stuff is more fun to tell so maybe I'll ease off on supervising my son a little and see what happens.

I agree. Too much work to do one... Also, I'm lazy.

 

[budamacdvcr]

Good morning. Dads. Chris - both stories have me rolling! Sorry I am late to the party commenting but work is nuts and the boards are now blocked due to spyware in the office - PITA. Have a good one and looking forward to the top Chris's story contest, but as Norm & CJ correctly stated - do NOT tell your kids the dumb things you did until they have done a couple of their own first so that they can't blame you.

I met Darcy and his friends on their Boston stop over before the cruise. Here are a couple pics. We are eating at Dicks Last Resort in Fanueil Hall. Not sure how they knew Darcy was from Canada, but his hat said "I love Justin Beiber". ber.

Great meet guys

 

[moose615]

‘ You’ll have to let us know what you think of the new place once you get back. And the rest of the WDW trip of course.

I will do, We went about 3 months after Hogsmeade opened and it was busy but not to bad. On Twitter people posted pics of the Gringotts ride wait time....350 min! And that's not an error, I hope 2 months will help it die down a bit.

 

[rwalker1304]

Morning Dads! Great story Goofy+3!

Another day of Cowboy lawyering. If I can figure out how to post pictures, I will try to take some pics of my "work" for today. I promise you, I do have real work to do today too.

All the best to everyone. Stay safe, healthy and keep up the antics!

RW