So here is now last night went.
11:00 PM - about to hit the sack...went into the kitchen and found shredded cardboard EVERYWHERE.
11:05 - Investigation revealed the cardboard was the remnant of a World's Finest Chocolate box. Memory files are hazy on the exact remaining contents, but a nagging certainty lingers that it contained 2 dark chocolate bars.
11:06 PM - Locate Beagle's nose sticking out from under daughter's bed. Lift dust ruffle, view guilty expression.
11:10 PM - Reviewed chocolate consumption protocols on the internet and have determined dog will either be fine or be dead. Pondering pros and cons of each.
11:15 PM- On the advice of vet line, administer Hydrogen Peroxide to beagle to induce vomiting. Explain to said canine that in the event of dire consequences, that I would miss her terribly, but I would NOT dip into the Disney fund to go have her fool stomach pumped or check her into the doggie ER. Because shes a dog. Not a person.
11:30 PM - I walk around the yard waiting for the dog to do something. She never does.
12:00 AM The dog wants to play ball.
12:30 AM The dog has been howling at the lamp for the past several minutes.
1:00 AM The dog has yet to vomit or show any signs other than excitement. And possibly paranoia.
1:45 AM After running around a bit more, the dog fell asleep.
5:45 AM The dog is awake and wants out. She has still not expelled anything at this point, and as far as purging the contaminant from her stomach, it wouldnt matter if she did...that window has passed.
6:15 AM The dog is in and saying good morning to everyone when, without sound or warning, she unleashes a cloud of stench that would knock the feathers off a duck. She seems proud. I know I would be.
7:30 AM The dog is in her kennel, and I am heading to work with a double strong cup of coffee.
Her fate remains unkown, but given her iron stomach and general lack of symptoms, she seems poised to survive. I shall check on her at lunch and see.