DDA Chapter 13

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks everyone! We are having Christmas at our house this year, so at least we do not have to rush any where. I also have all of my new Disney decorations that I bought last year to put up, hopefully this will help. I know I will be fine, I just need to keep thinking happy thoughts & be thankful for what I have.

Boy I sound like a downer today, I need to change my mindset & perk up!

I used to like Christmas. The past few years I have not liked it so much. I am just kind of "over it", but DS still has HUGE expectations. We have been to WDW the past 2 Decembers so we didn't buy much - the trips were our big present. This year we are staying home. The cats will destroy the tree so that has to stay in storage. That disappoints me more than it should. I used to love putting up our tree with all of the Hallmark ornaments, but now that won't ever happen again unless we 1) get rid of the cats or 2) move to a place that has a formal living room that can be completely closed off. Neither one of those things is likely.
None of us need more stuff. The stuff we have is overflowing from every corner! I don't want to go wander through the mall and try to find MORE stuff to buy. Mom never likes the things we buy for her, she won't use gift cards, and if we gave her cash she would let Diva waste it all on fast food. I think it would be lovely to go straight from Thanksgiving to New Year's.

 

[KristineN]

you always have a way of cracking me up!
but, speaking of letters....Bill sent him an email....the kid replies back to the email "I know this is Kristine writing so you might as well sign your name" the funny part was...Bill sent 6 sentences...if would have been me writing, I would have sent about 106!!

Since that time...I sent an email stating...let's move on....come over for lunch and let's just reconnect....that was met with, we can't possibly do that.....

then I sent another very kind email...which was NEVER acknowledged....so now I am officially forevermore D O N E! Which is sorta liberating

Estrangement is good, but it must be done properly.[/B]
Bill should write a letter to his son and mail it. I know experts say to write it and then tear it up, but I much prefer to send it. The son needs to know EXACTLY how Bill feels.
I don't think I would appreciate being the scapegoat. If the son is the one trying to blame things on you I would call him and give him a REASON to blame you.

 

[KristineN]

I wonder if the kids would notice??

That makes the holidays doubly hard to deal with, Kristine.

I'll tell you what... we will have an extra bed at POFQ. Come on along!

 

[KristineN]

That's for sure

BTW...you mentioned gas prices yesterday...out here near Chicago, it is still around $3.65!!!

I know you have had so much gong on this year, Disney sure does have a way of making it all go away for a while

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

you always have a way of cracking me up!
but, speaking of letters....Bill sent him an email....the kid replies back to the email "I know this is Kristine writing so you might as well sign your name" the funny part was...Bill sent 6 sentences...if would have been me writing, I would have sent about 106!!

Since that time...I sent an email stating...let's move on....come over for lunch and let's just reconnect....that was met with, we can't possibly do that.....

then I sent another very kind email...which was NEVER acknowledged....so now I am officially forevermore D O N E! Which is sorta liberating

You are kind of like DH. When you come from a family where there is no dysfunction it is VERY hard to wrap your head around people who have so much animosity for each other. DH and I have been together almost 17 years now, and after awhile he FINALLY got it. At first he tried to tell me my father wasn't so bad. YES, he WAS so bad! It just took a long time for DH to see it.

I think you have been beyond nice in this situation. If the son is going to be a jerk, fine. He can go be a jerk by himself. You tried to make peace, he rebuffed the offer, fine. Done. Off he goes.

I still think Bill should write a letter. NOT an e-mail. A LETTER. (The man was a postmaster, was he not?) He should write out his thoughts and mail them. Then it will be in his handwriting and won't be so easy to pass off as a forgery from you.

 

[PNO4TE]

I wonder if the kids would notice??

depends on how much stuff you leave under the tree

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I saw gas yesterday for $3.25. On the news this morning they said it is under $3 at some stations in Ft. Worth.

 

[KristineN]

I don't think I will ever "get it" though" My answer is to remove myself from it....not sure if that's right or wrong....

the sad part is, if they only would realize that I am the one (as I am sure most wives are) that made the effort to get everyone together, cooked the meals, planed the events, bought the gifts etc. If they are waiting for Bill to do all that, they are sadly mistaken

 

[KristineN]

good point

depends on how much stuff you leave under the tree

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I don't think I will ever "get it" though" My answer is to remove myself from it....not sure if that's right or wrong....

the sad part is, if they only would realize that I am the one (as I am sure most wives are) that made the effort to get everyone together, cooked the meals, planed the events, bought the gifts etc. If they are waiting for Bill to do all that, they are sadly mistaken

Removing yourself is good. This isn't your thing. What is that mantra they have for children of alcoholics? "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it." Something like that.

One of my personal favorite mantras is "Not my drama." I have enough of my own drama - I don't need to get sucked down into anyone else's. Tell Bill you will support him in his decisions but you are not going to be involved in this. If the son wants to spin it so that you have some culpability here, that is HIS issue. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, so leave the 2 of them to sort it out. I am sure you have better things to do with your time!

 

[PNO4TE]

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, so leave the 2 of them to sort it out. I am sure you have better things to do with your time!

like come to WDW with me in December!

 

[babytrees]

Removing yourself is good. This isn't your thing. What is that mantra they have for children of alcoholics? "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it." Something like that.

One of my personal favorite mantras is "Not my drama." I have enough of my own drama - I don't need to get sucked down into anyone else's. Tell Bill you will support him in his decisions but you are not going to be involved in this. If the son wants to spin it so that you have some culpability here, that is HIS issue. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, so leave the 2 of them to sort it out. I am sure you have better things to do with your time!

sound advice, sound advice!!

 

[babytrees]

so after messing with my computer and camera for awhile...they finally talked to each other

Homecoming parade the flutes...not my kid...they put her on the other side(again!!)

the blonde one in this picture is my favorite pit/drumline kid. He's so cute, nice and sweet...but according to Cassidy is a player

the band lined up for the start of the game

the flute line waiting for the players to come out

happy kids

 

[babytrees]

pics from two rows up of the halftime performance

and because I can't believe I knew this kid when he was small

the big kid in the middle is/was Cassidy's first boyfriend. His picture in the program made me cry...he looks so old.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Theresa - Nice pics!

DH watches the strangest things. The nuns are on, but he decided not to watch them. Instead he chose "Whack Jobs on Parade" (oh, I mean, "Open Mike at the City Council Meeting"). WHERE do they find these people? And WHY is it televised? Doesn't that just bring out MORE mentally unstable people?

 

[KristineN]

Elizabeth...you are like a mini therapist!

 

[babytrees]

Elizabeth...you are like a mini therapist!

just wait until you get her bill!!

 

[MrsHeg]

Kristine - Sorry about the family drama, my famiily isn't very close, so therefor no drama. DH's on the other hand, it's constant, and yes I always feel like his family thinks that I'm the reason there son doesn't like to come around, they don't know that I am often the one pushing him to do the right thing.

 

[PNO4TE]

Theresa - I loved all your pictures from last night! Thanks for taking the time to post them for us.

Elizabeth - you crack me up, woman!

 

[MrsHeg]

Love the pictures Theresa, looks like they had a great time.