DD5 already overweight - what can a concerned mother do? I'm so worried about her.

[Spoisal]

I submitted this thread on the community board, but this might be the better spot.
My DD5 has been overweight all of her short life. I keep thinking that she will be growing out of it, but she is a big girl & getting bigger. I blame myself for getting her off on the wrong foot when she was a baby - I mistakenly used the mindset of feeding her lots during the day so that she would sleep through the night sooner - well, it worked & I have a great sleeper, but a child who is always hungry. She is also tall for her age, but it is just out of proportion with her weight. She is 46.5" tall and 58.5 pounds.
The rest of us have no weight problem - me, DH & DD7 are all in a normal weight range - so I can't attribute it to genetics. I am just not sure what to do. I know that some may say that I control everything that goes into her mouth, but that is not entirely true. She is babysat 2 days a week & goes to friend's houses to play as well - where snacks always seem to be around at all times. The last thing I want to do is start planting the seed of an eating disorder....but what can I do? I could secretly document how many calories she has in a day, but I don't even know how many a child her age should be having. I am going to start taking her on afternoon walks whenever I can - I try to make sure she gets exercise. She takes tennis lessons, but it is only offered 1 day a week for 45 minutes.
What can I do to help my daughter? I love her so much & can't stand the thought of her dealing with this the rest of her life if there is something I can do now to help her. Please share your thoughts with me!

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

First let me say that I think you are a great mom for wanting to help her without harming her self esteem. I think that the daily walks sound like a great idea - if you can get the whole family involved it can be turned into family time too. I guess I would suggest to try to add a little more activity like the walks , bike rides or skating. My dd is in gymnastics and it is a wonderful way to keep active.

As far as snacks go you do not need to cut out everything just try to add some healthy choices: non fat milk, yogurt, string cheese, choc soy milk, trail mix, fruit, veggies with dip, popcorn, low fat ice cream, frozen fruit juice bars.

 

[Lesli54]

I don't think you need to count every calorie, just take some simple approaches and start there. Find out what she eats at the babysitters and at what times. That way it will be easier for you to judge how much healthy foods she needs to get at home. Does she leave the sitters shortly after a snack and then get one as soon as she comes home? If so, then delay or take out the one that she gets at home. Some simple approaches like that will make a big difference.

She is hungry all the time, partially because it is a habit and partially because her stomach is a little bigger. This will change but may take a good week or so. My DD7 is a little bigger, as well. We have rules in the house as far as what time snacks occur (trust me, she watches the clock). If I didn't, she would eat alot more often. No snacking before bed. When supper is done, that is it.

The walk is a great idea, anything that will keep her active.

You are such a great mom because you are so concerned. But also realize that all children are built differently. She may or may not grow out of this. My DNiece who is going on 9 is almost 2 of my DD7. She is tall and big boned, but her older siblings were totally opposite at that age and her youngest one is so thin she could blow away. It happens. The most important thing is to establish good healthy habits, because that is what will make all the difference in your DD's life in the long run.

 

[clarabelle]

Try this article- Some good tips here I think:
http://familydoctor.org/344.xml

 

[bicker]

Dieting for children is a very controversial issue. By the same token, fostering a child's enthusiastic attachment to substantial physical activity is never controversial. I'd err on the side of caution with respect to focusing a child's attention on their diet, and instead get them to occupy a lot of the attention on exercising. At that age, it may be better to worry less about how heavy the child is, and worry more about how athletic the child is.

 

[wtpclc]

Don't blame yourself. It very well may be genetic. My mom, dad and brother were unable to gain any weight until they were in their 40s. I never had that "problem." I was always told that I take after my aunts, both overweight. Good for you for wanting to get her exercising and start her on healthy eating habits. Before you get too concerned, I would speak to her doctor and see if he/she is concerned.

 

[nativetxn]

My son was in weight watchers at age 8. He takes after me He gave up flour and sugar about 2 years ago and his weight is very normal.

It's hard, isn't it? You want to blame yourself? Don't do that. Just do all you can to help your child.

Katholyn

 

[calena]

I am glad you are concerned about your child. We hear so much about childhood obesity etc and this is something to be vigilant about. I would take a look at the height/age/weight charts first of all to see if your child is overweight and if so by how much. I say this because my mother always seemed to communicate to me (either verbally or non-verbally) that I needed to be careful or I would have a weight problem as a kid. I got so used to ignoring this that when I did develop weight issues in my 20s it crept on so slowly I did not even realize it. When I look back at pictures of myself as a child and teen I looked GREAT. No weight issues there. However, if you look at pictures of my mom as a child or teen there were weight issues. It is just so scary when we pass on this stuff to our kids! My DS, 5, is big and was chubby, so we always just called him chubby in an affectionate way. I was at the skating arena and I said : "Time to go chubs" and one of the other moms just bit my head off! She said I should not call him that! Well, he is not chubby anymore... in fact, he is tall and getting skinnier every day, but that was a term of affection. I guess the message is we have to be so careful what we say to our kids. So - does your child really have a weight issue or is she just starting to get rid of the baby fat? They do sprout up and thin out. If you do feel it is a weight issue, encourage exercise first of all. Limit TV and encourage outside activities. Offer healthy food at home - lowfat dairy products, lean meats, wholewheat grains etc. Don't let food become taboo though or talk to her about her weight. If she is overweight kids can be cruel enough.
Best of luck and good for you for being such a caring mom.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Seems to me that you have been given excellent advice so far. I would not change that. I would like to put emphasis on the increase of activity. Whatever you do make it fun for your 5-year old and not overly done either (a few times a week or so perhaps of physical activity also try to fill the time with other activities besides the eating of food: crafts, coloring, reading together, games). We all respond when it is fun! Having more healthy foods in the house make good choices available. You can begin the discussion of making healthy choices of good things and less healthy things choices as a "taste" or smaller helping. Emphasize good and turn away from emphasis on the bad. We all hate that D-word and it makes us focus more on what it is we cannot have. As a family the primary source for the increase of activity, you may benefit as well as you will probably need to lead by example and the increase will benefit you.

Sorry if I rambled, my thoughts kept rambling.

 

[Spoisal]

As an update to this: I have been tracking what DD has been eating & I am providing LOTS of healthy choices.....I always have had healthy choices, but now there are even more. Anyway, what I have discovered is that DD really doesn't overeat (if I calculate her calories - they are right on the money, some days a little less & some a little more).
Following the advice of many of you I have decided to step up the activity level. She's a kid, she likes to play, so that part is easy. But I am making sure she is outside playing a lot more. We have also been going on a bike ride/walk (she rides while I walk) & that has been fun. I think if I am vigilant, we may see a change in her by the end of summer! Wish us luck!

 

[Tera]

Hi Stephanie...

I know how you feel since my youngest DD is struggling with her weight. She's 10 years old, 58 inches and weighs 115 pounds. She's about 20 pound too heavy, but instead of losing, we are working on maintaining. We've changed her diet and I have her drink lots of water (no soda) and as she grows, she should be fine. I did think on this website that I go to:

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcharts2/l/bl_ibw_calc.htm


A 5 year old (female) child who is 58.5 pounds and is 3 feet and 10 inches tall has a body mass index of 19.5, which is over the 95th percentile, and would indicate that your child is overweight.

Your child's ideal body weight would be at a BMI at the 85th percentile or below, and so would be about 50 pounds.

That doesn't necessarily mean that your child has to lose 8.5 pounds. As he gets older and taller, he may thin out some and therefore just need to stop gaining weight, gain weight more slowly or lose some of that weight. Talk to your Pediatrician for more help interpreting these results.

Like everyone has suggested, increase her activity, more fruits and veggies and I bet she'll be fine.