DD12 is an eyelash puller, need ideas... Update #47 & #51

[User Name]

I do not EVER discuss this with anyone. The relative anonymity of the DIS motivates me to share my story.

I was motivated to post to this forum, as I too, am a Trich sufferrer.

As it is quite embarrassing, you'll notice that I created a new account. (pretty original name, huh?)

I am one of the very rare male pullers. I think something like only 5% of pullers are male. Don't know exactly why this is, but that's what I read somewhere.

I started pulling as an adult (mid 20's) after a very stressful time in my life, and haven't stopped in the last 10 years or so. I'm "fortunate" that I've kept it to certain spots - mainly my eyebrows. (By the way - eyebrow pencil works wonders and allows me to go out in public - fills in those bald spots pretty well). I actually started with my eyelashes, but for some reason, I haven't touched them in a couple years.

Usually, the thought or discussion immediatly prompts me to become more aware of the situation, and start searching for that elusive "offending hair" that I just have to get. Surprisingly, reading through this thread has made me feel a little better about my situation, instead of making me more stressed about it. Even though we're all pretty much anonymous, it's very reassurring to know that I have many "friends" (all you DISsers) who also share this disorder. It actually feels pretty good to talk about it.

To the OP: get your daughter help right away. If it's Trich, it's probably MUCH easier to either stop or control if caught in the very beginning stages. If it's not Trich, no harm no foul.

So, to my fellow pullers out there... and thanks for sharing. I know it was not an easy thing to admit and talk about in such a public forum.

And, if anyone has actually conquered this, please PM me and tell me what worked. I've tried adversion therapy (rubberband snapping) which left me with HUGE welts and bald spots. I tried SRI meds (Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors) which just made me feel sick. Anyone ever try hypnosis?

 

[princess pooh]

I started picking at my eyelashes and eyebrows when I was your daughters age. I ended up with a bald patch on my eyebrows and wonky looking lashes. Vanity won out pretty quickly, and the pulling got replaced with hair twirling or picking at split ends. It didn't solve the underlying problem but at least it was less noticeable. Thank goodess everything grew back the way it was before.

Now I'm much less anxious than I used to be so my hair is getting a much needed rest!

 

[ElizaB39]

Hi all,

Just wanted to let you know that I talked to DD last night and she is receptive to seeing a psychologist. I emailed Trich.org and they are sending me a list of local professionals that specialize in trich. I also called the one group on their website in my area that specializes in this disorder. I have called them and am waiting for a call back.

DD said the hairband around her wrist helped.

Her teacher also called me and expressed her concern. They haven't noticed anything at school as of yet. She will keep her eye on it (no pun intended) and let me know if they see her pulling at her lashes.

DH got home in the middle of the night from a biz trip and we had lunch today to discuss it. He needs a little time to digest all I told him, but of course is on board with helping her in whatever way possible (first words out of his mouth were NO DRUGS!). I said, "honey, we are a long way away from that." (based this on all I have read so far both here and in the trich website)

Thanks again and I will update as I have news!

Once again, me hugging all of you.

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

So glad you are acting on this and not ignoring it. I actually called someone on that site 2 years ago when DD's eyelashes were vanishing. Very nice woman who heads up the place spoke with me for awhile. Some people pull only for brief periods or when stressed, while others pull all the time. Can be overcome, I know this as DD has done so at this point. I have not ruled out it returning though, so I keep my eye on things. DD LOVED going to the counselor and she was not even someone on their list. Just someone my Ped highly recommended. We did have the dermatologist check her eye area to make sure there was nothing medical going on. The Dermatologist told me SHE pulled her eyebrows out during medical school and very rarely now.

I actually started out like you. Just thought she was pulling eyelashes and had no clue it had a name or significance. I googled "eyelash pulling" and realized there was a name for it. I was terrified at first. Glad you are not too freaked out to act.

I am one of the very rare male pullers. I think something like only 5% of pullers are male. Don't know exactly why this is, but that's what I read somewhere.

to you too. I do know of an older man who has done this his entire life, so it is NOT just young females.

Now I'm quite curious about that EEG Neurofeedback thingy...

I only know of the one case the Dr. here used it on. A middle aged woman with severe Trich and who had tried everything. I don't know if it took 20 or 40 sessions, but she said it had been years ago and the woman seemed "cured". She actually uses the neurofeedback on kids with ADHD very often and is highly successful Also on Migraines. I find it interesting so let us know if you give it a whirl!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Good luck with your child. We having similier problems at our house with our 6th grade DD.

 

[ElizaB39]

Good luck to you too Muffycat.

 

[ElizaB39]

Hi everyone. Well, as you know I did some initial research on trich and found a therapist in our area. We had our first visit tonight with a therapist that has many years of experience with treating both adults and children with trich. We met with her as a family and she got some background on DD, me and DH. It was very relaxed and we go back next week for our second visit. DD will go solo this time as that is what she is most comfortable with. DH and I agree with her choice and we both feel that she will be more forthcoming on her own.

She will try to track when she feels like pulling and try some methods to do something else with her hands when she usually would pull. Also, wouldn't you know when we were there she pulled a hair from her head and wrapped it around her finger, then she was going to pull at her eyebrow and caught herself in time and started LOL! These were the first two times I even saw her pulling!

Overall I am happy with how it all went.

Peace and hugs to all.

Thanks for the support.

 

[Caradana]

Very impressed with how you're handling this ... we're here anytime to bounce off new ideas or burn off steam if you'd like. All the best to you & your daughter!

D

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

Glad to hear it is going well. So glad you took it seriously and got outside help.

 

[SamIAm21]

I suffer from Trich too. My Dr. told me it wasn't exactly like OCD, but more of an ICD (Impulse Control Disorder) as there really is no cure other than sheer willpower and I've tried to give it up a zillion times. I do it when I'm stressed, at work, at home, watching TV, just "zoning" out and I find it relaxing at least until I notice a little bald spot on the front or back of my head, then I consciously switch to another area on my head. The hardest part is having to inform your hairdresser in case they find a "short" spot or a bald spot.

I love to yank grays and those really coarse bumpy ones. My trich started about six months before my wedding, but I've never it done so badly that it's been really really noticeable. So, let's see, I guess I'm going on about 10 years with this now! When my hair was longer, I was an avid split end fiend in my teens and 20s. The full blown yanking the hair right out started at age 32?? It's a very common thing that not many people know about because no one talks about it!

I could go on medication, but I declined. Also, I gave away my tweezers because man its too tempting with those around. I might try that bandaid thing though and honestly, I never thought of that.

Glad to see I'm not the only one.

I've never done my eyelashes or eyebrows though, just my hair.

For a teenager, I would try to nip it in the bud as soon as I could because I figure I will have this problem for the rest of my life.

 

[ElizaB39]

Hi all,

DD12 has had 3 visits so far, the first was a family visit and the second two were individual visits. The therapist is great, she is calm and "grandmotherly". DD went 3 weeks in a row for one hour, now we will go every other week for 1/2 hour. Then as needed.

DD is doing great and her eyelashes are growing back in. SHe keeps a chart of when she is successful at not pulling. After 5 sucesses she gets one song downloaded from itunes to her Zen. She has earned two songs to date and will need to keep track of her successes going forward. The therapist said that the hardest part is keeping on top of the reward chart (on DDs part). It really is up to her to continue this, and let us know when she has her successes.

I also have made copies of an educational brochure designed for teachers that I am sending in to her two main teachers at school. Everyone around her is pretty much aware that she has trich and she isn't concerned at all, in fact, her friends remind her to "get her hands away from her face" if they see her going to pull.

Here's to continued successes!

 

[Divamomto3]

I don't have any advice to offer, but I just wanted to say that I think you are a really great mother!

 

[ElizaB39]

I don't have any advice to offer, but I just wanted to say that I think you are a really great mother!

Wow, thank you! sniff sniff

 

[kikakeko]

I too have pulled out my eyelashes since I was in grade school mostly on my right eye- I have just recently (my 20's) been able to identify when I am doing it and stop. Encourage your daughter daily and keep up the great parenting!