I am a member of a sorority (Alpha Delta Pi), and DH is a member of a fraternity (Phi Gamma Delta), and later served as it's chapter advisor. We can truly say that the Greek stereotype is HIGHLY exaggerated on television, film, and in literature. Sure, I drank to excess sometimes during college, but was never forced to by anyone, or even encouraged to. That was my own stupid decision. My husband on the other hand, doesn't drink at all, nor did he ever during college. He was never ridiculed or hazed, nor was I. I hope that our children, (when we have them) will follow in our footsteps, because we both truly believe that our college experience was enriched by our affiliations. I also am glad that I chose a traditional sorority instead of some of the fly-by-night groups that are springing up all over college campuses (i.e. coed, or not affiliated with a national organizations, or merely social groups).
In fact, there was such an "anti-hazing" attitude prevalent at my school and within my own sorority, that we treated our pledges like queens. I never felt like I had to sign my life over and pledge undying loyalty to a group, nor did I feel like "I bought my friends." Not to sound flippant, but chapter and ritual were just something that a group of my friends and I got together and did on Sunday nights. It was such a small part of our lives together, we did so much together outside of sorority. I had a wide group of best friends both within and outside of my sisterhood. I also feel like I had more opportunity to do things on campus because of my affiliation. When it came time to run for Student Government, I got elected over a commuter because I had name recognition. Everyone in the Greek system knew me. Same thing for Homecoming Court. Was it fair? Maybe not. I got the opportunity to work with different civic and charitable organizations in our community raising money due to ADPi. I got to learn LOTS of communication skills because of the wide variety of girls within my own sorority, and when I served as a rush counselor I got to interact with even more young girls and help them with their decisions.
While I had the time of my life, Greek life isn't for everyone. I do think that people who have pre-conceived notions about it are setting themselves up to hate it, and to have a bad experience. Choosing a group for the wrong reasons (i.e. "I wanna be a XYZ because they are the most popular" instead of "I wanna be a QRS because I have so much in common with them") also sets you up for failure.