DD is a terrrible driver. Help!

[mjkacmom]

Funny how requirements are so different in different places. Here (MN) if you are under 18, you are required to take a 30 hour classroom driver ed course before you can take the permit test. The driving schools do 6 hours of behind the wheel with an instructor but it is expected that students have already done some driving with a parent. A student must have had their permit for at least 6 months and have completed at least 50 hours of driving time (15 of them must be at night) before they can take their road test. That requirement can drop down to 40 hours if a parent takes a class.

It seems strange since we have so many requirements that there are places that don't seem to have many at all.

Here you can't drive with a parent until you do the 6 hours behind the wheel. You can't get your provisional license until 17 (can only have 1 unrelated passenger, no driving after 11 pm), regular license at 18. You must have a licensed driver in the vehicle when you only have a permit.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Here you can't drive with a parent until you do the 6 hours behind the wheel. You can't get your provisional license until 17 (can only have 1 unrelated passenger, no driving after 11 pm), regular license at 18. You must have a licensed driver in the vehicle when you only have a permit.

We also have the 1 unrelated passenger rule until 18 (new rule a few years back). And of course licensed driver while under permit.

 

[Cinderella94]

Also, I would be clear when giving her instructions. Instead of saying, "duck in behind the green truck," I would say something like, "let the green truck pass and then turn." (Or whatever it was you needed her to do). I would make sure every instruction was very clear because kids can get nervous and need very simple instructions.

This was my first thought as I was reading the OP's post.

 

[IDoDis]

Here, we require 6 months with permit before license, 50 hours of road time (10 of which must be at night). Permit can be granted at 15th Birthday, license at 16.

When I was young, we had no requirements at all. No permit until 16, but you weren't even required to GET a permit. Many kids took their driving test immediately after passing their written. I had my permit for all of 45 minutes LOL

We have those same requirements in my state, except that after the written test and driving test are passed and the teen has had a permit for at least 6 months, the teen gets a "provisional" license for a year. It looks different than the standard license and there are rules to follow, like no driving between midnight and 5am (unless they have a written excuse due to job hours). Also, they can only drive with one other person in the car that is under the age of 21 unless those people are family members, and they can't get any tickets for speeding or unsafe driving. If they break the rules and get caught then they lose the provisional for 6 months.

Both of my kids have had friends who break the rules and whose parents didn't drive the 50 hours with them, yet signed off on a made-up driving log.

 

[Kitty 34]

My middle DS was a horrible driver and I have a year and half of neck therapy bills to prove it.......for real. He was a very black and white driver. For example the "book" says to start accelerating when going down the ramp to the highway so you can merge in the fast going traffic with little problems. The problem with Michael is he would rev up to near 70 when 17 semis are going by with NO intentions of moving over. Gosh my neck hurts just remembering! On backroads he would do 55 even up over a hill when there could have easily been a herd of deer just on the other side. It was a nightmare!!

Now he drives in Detroit traffic with no problems but I still don't like to drive with him.

Good luck to you Gumbo and I can PM you a great neck therapist.

 

[maxaroni]

I am in NJ and mjkacmom pretty much said how it is currently for NJ residents. DS23 had drivers ed Sophomore year of HS, required course in place of health that year. He did his 6 hours and then was driving with DH or myself. There were plenty of near misses and times he white knuckled it. He is now a confident, good, safe driver.

I was born and raised in NJ, back when I was in HS we had drivers ed and took our written test through HS. Our drivers ed though HS also had simulators that we used. Our HS also had on the road driving and private lessons were not widely done. This was in Bergen County, not all HS's had the simulators as DH was in the next town and he did not. If anyone knows Bergen Couny, the teachers basically took you on Route 17 first shot out while doing on the road. DH and I took our test in Lodi which both of our parents had us driving to take our tests. It is a high traffic area, even back then....43 years ago for me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am in NJ and mjkacmom pretty much said how it is currently for NJ residents. DS23 had drivers ed Sophomore year of HS, required course in place of health that year. He did his 6 hours and then was driving with DH or myself. There were plenty of near misses and times he white knuckled it. He is now a confident, good, safe driver.

I was born and raised in NJ, back when I was in HS we had drivers ed and took our written test through HS. Our drivers ed though HS also had simulators that we used. Our HS also had on the road driving and private lessons were not widely done. This was in Bergen County, not all HS's had the simulators as DH was in the next town and he did not. If anyone knows Bergen Couny, the teachers basically took you on Route 17 first shot out while doing on the road. DH and I took our test in Lodi which both of our parents had us driving to take our tests. It is a high traffic area, even back then....43 years ago for me.

Same, except route 3 and 46, lots of traffic, twists and turns.

 

[Disney Khaleesi]

I hate driving. I especially hated driving when I was learning how to drive. It sounds like your DD needs a lot more practice out on the road. My dad would always make me drive at every possible opportunity to give me experience. And living in Wisconsin when the roads get bad during the winter, I needed driving experience before the snow hit. Driving with my dad always stressed me out to the max though and now that I don't have to I refuse to take him anywhere. I'm not the greatest driver either but learning to drive with my dad in the passenger's seat made it a lot worse for me.

 

[maxaroni]

Same, except route 3 and 46, lots of traffic, twists and turns.

Yup. I worked in Teterboro and 46 was no picnic.

We currently live in South Jersey - Burlington County. Traffic can be bad but nowhere like up in North Jersey. DS went to college in North Jersey and was stunned at the traffic compared to here.

 

[North of Mouse]

'Duck in behind the green truck'!!! Not sure about you giving driving instructions, Gumbo!!!

I would let her drive on back roads at times of little traffic, then progress to light traffic on residential streets before going any further.

Yikes, sort of scares me to know there are many kids like this driving along beside me during the day! I don't think driver's ed is doing their jobs well.

Good luck!!

 

[NFLDERS]

Good Luck Gumbo4x4!

Our older son was taught by his then girlfriend for the most part, and Driver's Ed lessons. We were elated to not be involved. lol! However, our younger son took Driver's Ed lessons, and had practice driving with dh, and I but, was nervous where his older brother was not... sigh.

On the day of his test, I was the only one available to take him; I had a horrid migraine, my mother (73ish) came along to assist me if I got sick which I more often than not did, with migraines. My not feeling well kept me from thinking about pretty much anything. So... I was a silent observer, or a blessing in disguise. He felt he needed more parallel parking practice. I told him to concentrate on that for the little extra time we had before the test.

He ended up doing very well on the test, got his license, and the confidence he needed to drive.

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

I was a very nervous and tentative driver at 16-17 when I got my permit and license. Fast forward five years and I was driving up and down I-95, the DC beltway, the Jersey turnpike, etc. It's a practice and confidence thing.

 

[Poohlove]

I am feeling your pain, thankfully it is figurative. DD16 has her permit and she is due to get her license in February. By now she for the most part has the hang of it but when she first started to drive I was scared and worried whether or not she would be a good driver.

It will be tough but practice, practice, practice. The more practice she gets and the more scenarios she sees the better she will get. Hang in there!!!

 

[mom2rtk]

We also have the 1 unrelated passenger rule until 18 (new rule a few years back). And of course licensed driver while under permit.

I love the 1 unrelated passenger rule. My daughter is one of the older ones in her class, so one of the first to get her license. She gets barraged with requests for rides to or from school. It's nice that she has an easy "no" for most of them.

And honestly, there have just been so many tragic crashes through the years with multiple loss of life when driving with a group of friends. I wouldn't have allowed it anyway, but it's nice when you can just say "it's illegal".

 

[Poohlove]

I love the 1 unrelated passenger rule. My daughter is one of the older ones in her class, so one of the first to get her license. She gets barraged with requests for rides to or from school. It's nice that she has an easy "no" for most of them.

And honestly, there have just been so many tragic crashes through the years with multiple loss of life when driving with a group of friends. I wouldn't have allowed it anyway, but it's nice when you can just say "it's illegal".

I am glad that your daughter says no. I see a lot of the older kids loading up their cars and going wherever. I will not allow my daughter to get in one of those cars and have made it very clear that she is not to do that when she gets her license. I told her I will take her car away if she does. It worries me when I see 6 people in a 5 person car with someone who has only and their license for 3 months driving.

 

[mom2rtk]

I am glad that your daughter says no. I see a lot of the older kids loading up their cars and going wherever. I will not allow my daughter to get in one of those cars and have made it very clear that she is not to do that when she gets her license. I told her I will take her car away if she does. It worries me when I see 6 people in a 5 person car with someone who has only and their license for 3 months driving.

My daughter has a few friends we have said she is ok to offer a ride to, one at a time on an occasional basis. Obviously anything else is illegal and could cost her her license. (Her best friend is very unhappy that she won't agree to be her regular ride to school, in spite of knowing it would require her to get up even earlier and go out of her way). And we have to know if she's going anywhere else. So far so good. She doesn't really have a car of her own, but right now there's one here that is available on a day to day basis. She also knows that once winter weather hits, we will evaluate on a day to day basis.

 

[DisneyJules]

I felt like a slow learner when I was learning to drive and it took me a loooooooong time to feel comfortable. I think some are just ready to drive a little later than others. I got my license at 18 when I could have gotten it at 16 but just felt too young and uncomfortable. What really helped was hiring a private instructor for about 5 lessons. That's all it took and I was ready for my test. I would highly recommend this. Driving with my parents was WAY too tense and stressful for everyone.

 

[tvguy]

No

There are lots of driving schools in Missouri.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

There are lots of driving schools in Missouri.

Not where *i* live.

 

[mjkacmom]

I love the 1 unrelated passenger rule. My daughter is one of the older ones in her class, so one of the first to get her license. She gets barraged with requests for rides to or from school. It's nice that she has an easy "no" for most of them.

And honestly, there have just been so many tragic crashes through the years with multiple loss of life when driving with a group of friends. I wouldn't have allowed it anyway, but it's nice when you can just say "it's illegal".

Bad mom here. Ds18 has a hand me down minivan, and I did let (ok made) him drive his sisters' dance carpool, 6 girls total, a lot, when he was 17. They have dance 5 - 6 nights a week, he's a great driver, and I got him 2 PBA cards just in case.