DCL and a developmentally delayed child: our experience

[kathleendsm]

I wanted to share our experience with Disney Cruise Line with our 5 year old son who is developmentally delayed. Hopefully it will help! Disclaimer: I obviously can't guarantee that everyone with a child with disabilities would have the same experience or the same accommodation.

We sailed on our very first cruise on the July 4 3 day Bahamanian cruise aboard the Dream. With us were our 8 year old typically developing DD, and our 5 year old developmentally delayed DS. DS has a very rare chromosome abnormality: his biggest symptom is severe apraxia of speech. He can understand at a fairly age appropriate level, but has very little expressive speech (although he is improving all the time!). He has some gross and fine motor delays, including not being potty trained (he wears pull ups). He's a sweet, fun, social and happy boy who loves to meet new friends.

I was a bit nervous because I know that with DCL ships registered in the Bahamas, the ADA doesn't apply to them. I wasn't sure how much accommodation he'd be given in places like the Kids Club, particularly with his not being potty trained. I shouldn't have worried, because Disney is Disney, and there is no place that treats kids with disabilities better.

On embarkation day we got the bands for both kids in the terminal, and headed to the open house in the Oceaneers Club and Lab once we got onto the ship. There, we spoke with a wonderful crew member named Corrine from Scotland and explained a bit about DS. She reassured us that he could attend the club, and if he needed a change, they could call us on the wave phones (they can't change him, but we definitely had expected that). She also said that after the open house, the crew meets to discuss the kids they met, including any who might have special needs. She said she would let everyone know about DS and that he might need a bit more attention. I told her that I realized that they couldn't give any 1:1 attention to any child, nor did we expect that, but she said that they were happy to do everything they could for kids with special circumstances, and she'd personally make sure that DS had a great time.

The first time we dropped them off I was a bit nervous, afraid that we'd get a call pretty quickly that DS was crying or wanted to come back with us. I wasn't sure how things would go with him having difficulty expressing his needs (and big sister off with new friends and activities). Imagine my surprise when we came back and he didn't want to leave! He had an amazing time. We ended up taking him to the club 3 times during our 3 night cruise (including once while my DH and I took DD to the Believe show: DS made it clear that he wanted to go to the club instead!). He still expresses how much fun he had there. Each time I picked him up there was a crew member hanging out with him, interacting with him, and telling me about all the fun things he did (dance party with Stitch, story with Tinkerbell, etc).

But it wasn't just inside the club, it was the rest of the ship that was amazing with him. By our second day it seemed like half the crew knew him, and when we walked around the ship people would say hello and call him by name. The characters gave him special hugs and the servers brought extra treats (for both kids). Our stateroom host brought him a bed rail and a diaper genie at my request, which was also very helpful.

Anyway, if you have any questions about cruising on Disney with a special needs child. We were thrilled with the service we all received, and especially the way they treated our sweet DS.

 

[lanejudy]

So glad you had a terrific experience! Thanks for sharing.

 

[kim532]

Thanks for sharing. I have a 6 year old developmentally delayed child, and this just makes me love Disney even more.

Can't wait for our first DCL trip.

Kim

 

[SueM in MN]

Thanks for the report.

 

[Talking Hands]

Awesome report. Glad your little guy had a great time.

 

[KPeveler]

Awesome! I'm so glad that you had such great experience with your family. In general I have heard nothing but great things about the kids clubs on the cruises.

 

[luv2sleep]

Awesome! Glad they were able to have so much fun!

 

[crashbb]

Awesome! Sounds like your whole family had a great trip.

 

[BeerMe]

very encouraging

 

[WheeledTraveler]

I'm so glad the cruise went so well for you!

I was a bit nervous because I know that with DCL ships registered in the Bahamas, the ADA doesn't apply to them.

Actually, in 2005 the Supreme Court ruled that cruise ships that port in the US must follow the ADA, regardless of where the ship is registered. It gets confusing when it comes to ports of call that are not in the US. From what I can tell cruise lines are supposed to be making the tender to the port as accessible as possible (some have started actually including lifts on the tenders), but, obviously, the ADA does not apply to the city/country so once you're on land, there's no coverage. The cruise itself, however, must comply with the ADA since it does port in the US.

 

[oynk]

I am so glad to hear that things went well for you.

Several years ago, when my DD was 4 we wanted to do a Disney Cruise, but when we called and explained that she had a disability and still wore pull-ups, we were told she would not be able to participate in any of the kids' activities.

(She does not have any cognitive impairments, just physical. By that age, she was actually changing her self, but we would have been willing to come change/supervise when they called).

I called back several times and talked to different people. I even offered to bring a letter from her doctor, but every CM I spoke with insisted that she would not be allowed in the kid's club in pull-ups or diapers.

I knew they couldn't do that, but I was afraid to risk it, so we ended up going on a Carnival Cruise instead (because they change the kids), and it was fine. Since then, she has had spinal cord surgery which restored the sensation for her bowel and bladder and she is fine as far as that goes, so it doesn't matter for our family any more; but, I am VERY happy to hear that other families have had a successful experience.

 

[luv2sleep]

I am so glad to hear that things went well for you.

Several years ago, when my DD was 4 we wanted to do a Disney Cruise, but when we called and explained that she had a disability and still wore pull-ups, we were told she would not be able to participate in any of the kids' activities.

(She does not have any cognitive impairments, just physical. By that age, she was actually changing her self, but we would have been willing to come change/supervise when they called).

I called back several times and talked to different people. I even offered to bring a letter from her doctor, but every CM I spoke with insisted that she would not be allowed in the kid's club in pull-ups or diapers.

I knew they couldn't do that, but I was afraid to risk it, so we ended up going on a Carnival Cruise instead (because they change the kids), and it was fine. Since then, she has had spinal cord surgery which restored the sensation for her bowel and bladder and she is fine as far as that goes, so it doesn't matter for our family any more; but, I am VERY happy to hear that other families have had a successful experience.

Personally I am surprised they let a non potty trained kid in because there was a crack down on the rules about this last year. I'm glad they've relaxed them for special needs kiddos.

 

[lanejudy]

Personally I am surprised they let a non potty trained kid in because there was a crack down on the rules about this last year. I'm glad they've relaxed them for special needs kiddos.

Sometimes I think it seems to depend on the cruise. The official policy is that kids must be fully potty-trained -- and in DCL-speak that means able to recognize the need, get to the restroom, undress, wipe, re-dress, wash - all on their own. CMs are not allowed to enter a restroom with a child, to say nothing of help him/her. That said, some people are reporting their child in pull-ups has been allowed - with responses ranging from "we had to return every hour to check on the diaper" or "CMs would call us if needed." So it does seem to depend on the cruise. Possibly, cruises with fewer passengers and/or fewer kids of Club age might have more likelihood of accommodating pull-ups.

Again, very glad OP's family had such a great experience!

 

[kylmac]

So glad everything worked out for you! Love hearing about DCL-we love bringing our autistic son on board-he is always well taken care of.
Elizabeth

 

[Alexander]

I loved reading such a positive review!

Re: the potty training...there is a huge difference in a child with special needs not being trained and a stubborn 3 or 4 year old who refuses to train and parents who tolerate it!

 

[lanejudy]

I loved reading such a positive review!

Re: the potty training...there is a huge difference in a child with special needs not being trained and a stubborn 3 or 4 year old who refuses to train and parents who tolerate it!

Yes, I know that (and live that)...but DCL doesn't always differentiate. Actually, I think a somewhat "older" non-potty trained child with special needs may be more likely accommodated than any 3 or 4 year old, special needs or not. Just my experience, may not translate to all as DCL doesn't seem to be terribly consistent in some things. That said, it certainly seems like most people with special needs children are happy with cruising!

 

[Alexander]

I am so glad to hear that things went well for you.

Several years ago, when my DD was 4 we wanted to do a Disney Cruise, but when we called and explained that she had a disability and still wore pull-ups, we were told she would not be able to participate in any of the kids' activities.

(She does not have any cognitive impairments, just physical. By that age, she was actually changing her self, but we would have been willing to come change/supervise when they called).

I called back several times and talked to different people. I even offered to bring a letter from her doctor, but every CM I spoke with insisted that she would not be allowed in the kid's club in pull-ups or diapers.

I knew they couldn't do that, but I was afraid to risk it, so we ended up going on a Carnival Cruise instead (because they change the kids), and it was fine. Since then, she has had spinal cord surgery which restored the sensation for her bowel and bladder and she is fine as far as that goes, so it doesn't matter for our family any more; but, I am VERY happy to hear that other families have had a successful experience.

Unfortunately, the CMs you speak with on the phone have prescribed protocols and rules they must share with you. I think had you taken the Disney cruise and spoken to the kids club CMs directly as the OP did, you may have been fine. I think it is so much about how you talk to them. I am sure some have gone in there demanding their child be accommodated rather than clearly explaining the situation and working with the CMs as a team to meet the child's needs.

 

[oynk]

I loved reading such a positive review!

Re: the potty training...there is a huge difference in a child with special needs not being trained and a stubborn 3 or 4 year old who refuses to train and parents who tolerate it!

Yeah, I thought about that too. On a slightly off-topic note, that is part of why it took us so long to get her surgery. We started seeing doctors when she was like three because she clearly wanted to be toilet trained and she clearly had NO ability what so ever.

It took almost two years to find a doctor who didn't just tell us to "give her stickers and put her on a schedule." Finally the gastroenterologist said he would send her for special testing but that he couldn't believe we would want to put our child through such horrible testing when he was sure she was just "lazy".

Surprise, surprise - all of her neurological signals were wrong and she had not ability to sense or push correctly. (Same exact thing when they did urodynamics).

On a happier note. She came home from the hospital on a Thursday night and Friday morning she woke up, sat up in bed, looked at us in amazement and said, "I think I have to go to the bathroom." She was out of diapers within the week. (Unfortunately because it took so long, she still has some residual nerve damage that still causes problems)

 

[Alexander]

Yeah, I thought about that too. On a slightly off-topic note, that is part of why it took us so long to get her surgery. We started seeing doctors when she was like three because she clearly wanted to be toilet trained and she clearly had NO ability what so ever.

It took almost two years to find a doctor who didn't just tell us to "give her stickers and put her on a schedule." Finally the gastroenterologist said he would send her for special testing but that he couldn't believe we would want to put our child through such horrible testing when he was sure she was just "lazy".

Surprise, surprise - all of her neurological signals were wrong and she had not ability to sense or push correctly. (Same exact thing when they did urodynamics).

On a happier note. She came home from the hospital on a Thursday night and Friday morning she woke up, sat up in bed, looked at us in amazement and said, "I think I have to go to the bathroom." She was out of diapers within the week. (Unfortunately because it took so long, she still has some residual nerve damage that still causes problems)

Aww, bless her little heart! How hard for her not to be able to do something so natural and how hard for you to understand what was going on! Glad things are better for her!