Dave Ramsey as a Wedding Gift??? Not to sure about that?

[sk!mom]

Had to make a 400 mile round trip yesterday to take my DD for a pointe shoe fitting so I had plenty of time to listen to Dave Ramsey's radio show.

A woman called in to ask his opinion on giving her brother and his bride a Financial Peace seminar and the $1000 first emergency fund as a wedding gift. Dave told them to do it in a big deal way with a serious talk about how the money was for extreme emergencies only. Then Dave kicked in the FP seminar as his gift.

Not sure how I feel about this. I wished that I could talk to the woman to point out that she should be prepared for them to spend the $1000 as they wished since a gift given now belongs to the recipient. How will she feel if they blow it on a big screen TV or a trip to Disneyworld ?

It also seemed really nosy and presumptious to me. I would be insulted if a sibling took it upon themselves to sit me down and school me about finances. Actually, I can almost guarentee that DH and I would refuse a gift with strings attached. We've never accepted one thus far.

It occured to me that maybe the caller has a relationship with her brother that would make this OK but she stated in the call that she doesn't know the bride to be well. If the bride is anything like me, this will not be a good start to their relationship.

So thoughtful gift or generous but a bit rude?

 

[DawnM]

I personally wouldn't be insulted and would love an extra $1,000 in my savings account!

Now, I have no idea about this particular situation. Are the couple good with money already? Will they take it as a gift of love or an insult?

Hard to answer that question without knowing more info.

Dawn

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm sure some people will consider this the ultimate wedding gift, but I find it presumptuous and preachy. If the couple had complained to me about financial issues or asked to borrow money that would be different. It sounds like this caller had no reason to assume the couple needed this information. They may already know what they're doing.

 

[RitaE]

It's about as klassy as gifting a weight watchers membership to your chunky cousin at the annual family holiday gift swap.

If I were going to offer financial advice to a family member - it'd be only after I was asked and it would be separate from any sort of celebration such as a wedding or birthday or holiday.

 

[okeydokey]

I think it's tacky to give a cash gift for a wedding with strings attached.

 

[jmartinez1895]

One one hand, I think it nice that she would care enough to want to make sure they get a good start to there life together, but one the other hand ( the hand receiving the "gift") I would be mad. If my SIL had given us something like that I would assume she thought that I was bad with money and that I was going to blow my husbands money and that she thought that I needed the info. The only exception to this would be if we where all close and we had talked before about trying to start out debt free and this idea had been talked over before and if I had already said that I wanted to go to FPU>

 

[sk!mom]

I'm sure some people will consider this the ultimate wedding gift, but I find it presumptuous and preachy. If the couple had complained to me about financial issues or asked to borrow money that would be different. It sounds like this caller had no reason to assume the couple needed this information. They may already know what they're doing.

I agree with you. The caller didn't mention that her brother had debt or poor money management. She just kept saying that she knew how surprised she and her DH were with the cost of life after marrying and how much Ramsey had helped them. As I said, she also said that she doesn't know the bride well, yet.

 

[punkin]

I agree with you. The caller didn't mention that her brother had debt or poor money management. She just kept saying that she knew how surprised she and her DH were with the cost of life after marrying and how much Ramsey had helped them. As I said, she also said that she doesn't know the bride well, yet.

With that gift, I would be horrified if I was the bride and I would assume the new SIL is a controlling freak. Sorry...bad gift.

 

[marie1203]

I wouldn't be happy with this. It seem insulting. What if their finances are good already? And giving someone cash and telling them how to use .

 

[ilovemk76]

I'm sure some people will consider this the ultimate wedding gift, but I find it presumptuous and preachy. If the couple had complained to me about financial issues or asked to borrow money that would be different. It sounds like this caller had no reason to assume the couple needed this information. They may already know what they're doing.

It's about as klassy as gifting a weight watchers membership to your chunky cousin at the annual family holiday gift swap.

If I were going to offer financial advice to a family member - it'd be only after I was asked and it would be separate from any sort of celebration such as a wedding or birthday or holiday.

I think it's tacky to give a cash gift for a wedding with strings attached.

I agree with all of the above.

 

[SaraJayne]

I think people are forgetting "preachy and presumptuous" are DR's middle names.

Yes, it's tacky to give a wedding gift with strings attached.

 

[jodifla]

Tacky, tacky, tacky oh and TACKY!!!

 

[crisi]

Very rude.

I like the Weight Watchers analogy. You only give advice like this when asked.

Moreover, Ramsey's materials are rather evangelical Christian. They don't have a tone that I would give to someone unless I knew that they wouldn't be offended. And that is the sort of thing you probably don't know about a SIL to be you don't know well.

 

[crisi]

It seem insulting what if the financed are good already?

My cousin started investing her babysitting money and birthday money in the stock market when she was eleven. She went to college on a scholarship, and worked through college, saving even more money. Her dad had college saved for. With a scholarship earned by her, her father gave her the college fund as a down payment for a house when she was ready to buy. Straight out of college she was probably worth low-six figures.

There would be a certain amount of karma in the SIL being a similar sort of person.

 

[punkin]

Very rude.

I like the Weight Watchers analogy. You only give advice like this when asked.

Moreover, Ramsey's materials are rather evangelical Christian. They don't have a tone that I would give to someone unless I knew that they wouldn't be offended. And that is the sort of thing you probably don't know about a SIL to be you don't know well.

There's also that. Some people (me included) would get offended just at that.

 

[weHEARTmickey]

Personally, I think it would be a FABULOUS gift!! How often do you actually use your fine china?

 

[eliza61]

Had to make a 400 mile round trip yesterday to take my DD for a pointe shoe fitting so I had plenty of time to listen to Dave
A woman called in to ask his opinion on giving her brother and his bride a Financial Peace seminar and the $1000 first emergency fund as a wedding gift. Dave told them to do it in a big deal way with a serious talk about how the money was for extreme emergencies only. Then Dave kicked in the FP seminar as his gift.

Not sure how I feel about this. I wished that I could talk to the woman to point out that she should be prepared for them to spend the $1000 as they wished since a gift given now belongs to the recipient. How will she feel if they blow it on a big screen TV or a trip to Disneyworld ?

It also seemed really nosy and presumptious to me. ?

That's my vote.

The problem is imo, they are giving a gift with stipulations attached. Basically they are gifting the couple with money and then telling them how to use the money. So is it really a gift if I can't do with it what I want?

Even if she is close to her brother, she is not close to the new wife.

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, I'm of a few minds on the subject.

One, if anyone BUT my brother had done such a thing for/to us as a wedding gift, I would have been peeved. We *felt* that we couldn't have savings, that we were living too hand-to-mouth, that it needed to be spent.

But if my brother and SIL had given it to us, well with things from them we try to honor the intent of what they give. For instance, they just gave our son a PS3. Sure, we can use it, but it's his. So if it still exists when he goes off to college (note: he's 7, the PS3 still existing/being relevant is doubtful), he gets it. So we would probably have a difficult time with it, but we would try to do it and we would know that it was coming from a place of caring. (wouldn't happen, brother and his wife haven't a clue about Ramsey, as they do everything the gurus talk about as naturally as breathing, the stinkers)

And my last feeling is...oh MAN do I wish someone had done that for us! Even if we had ruined it, I could look back and think "that person cared and tried to get us on the right track earlier".

I'm sure FPU is different, but I'm about as negatively sensitive to evangelism as they come, and his book TMMO didn't bug me. Easy enough to skip the tithing parts. But FPU is likely different.

 

[Tink-n-MrIncredible]

About two years ago when Dave was having one of his sales, I purchased several books. I gave them away to family memebers that I thought it would help. Don't know if any of them read it or not, they never did say.

Well I gave one to my SIL. Everytime we would talk on the phone (she lives in another state) she would always say how much of a hard time they were/are having financially. They have claimed BR, went through consumer credit and back in the same boat now even worse. She has yet to even read the first page.

So my answer is no I would not give it as a gift to anyone. I should of saved my money.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink (even kool aid)

 

[secretpantssam]

I'm getting married in August and personally I don't think I'd mind it as a gift. $1000 for savings is pretty sweet and I'd probably page through the book, though I'm pretty responsible with money to begin with. I think it's a kind gesture and she had good intentions.