Daughters who have lost their Mother

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Shelly F - Ohio, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. metluver

    metluver Earning My Ears

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    I lost my mom August 26, 2010. She was only 50, so it was really sudden. She had gotten bariatric surgery a few weeks before and a blood clot formed in her leg after. Losing her is easily the most devastating thing that has happened to me. I miss her so much.

    I didn't cry during Disney movies before she died, but now pretty much any time a parent or close relative dies I cry (I bawled during Lilo and Stitch). You'll Be in My Heart also has a tendency to make me tear up.

    To everyone who has lost their mother (or anyone else close to them), I feel your pain and hope you can remember the happy times because crying and smiling is better than just crying. :')
     
  2. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Well this my 7000 post! Thought I would post here to celebrate. As the holidays draw near it is often a rough time of the year. But dwell on the memories that you created with your Mom. Place a wreath on her grave and take a moment at the grave side to reflect upon the spirit she brought to Christmas. Smell the aroma of the pie's she use to make or that special dish that she made.

    Know that she is with you as you go through the holiday season. She is right there beside you every step of the way.

    Hugs to all of you my friends.
     
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  4. maxaroni

    maxaroni DIS Veteran

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    Lost my mom 3/2014. She actually went on hospice (2 days) with end stage renal disease. However, she had blocked brain and heart arteries as well as COPD etc, etc. my dad is 79 and having a hard time. The were married 58 years and together 63 years. With the holidays and being the first holidays without my mom, my heart is heavy. It hurts so much. My DH and DS21 are wonderful but unable to fill the void.
     
  5. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Man I need a hug.
     
  6. Twende

    Twende Best laid plans of Mouse and men.....

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    HUG!!!!!!! Life is so rough some times! Tomorrow would have been my parents 75th wedding anniversary. I keep thinking that if bad things had not happened to them, that tomorrow would be a huge celebration day! It makes me sad. I miss my mom so very much!
     
    Shelly F - Ohio likes this.
  7. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Hugs to you too Twende.

    Why does life have to be so rough. UGH
     
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  8. pooh2001

    pooh2001 been there, done that, TRYING to go back

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    I lost my mom was I was 14 to cancer of the breast and spread to the bones.
    Now I am married with 2 children.
    I have a mammogram done every year.
    So far cancer free.
    May everyone be blessed with wonderful memories of their moms.
     
  9. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Giant hugs all around..
     
  10. DisMom456

    DisMom456 Earning My Ears

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    I lost my Mom in February. She was only 56. We had been planning to take her to Disney for her birthday later in the month, but instead held her funeral on the day we would have started our trip. I still can't believe she's gone. She and my 3 year old daughter (and myself) were so close. I miss her so incredibly much.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2016
  11. gwynne

    gwynne Ad astra per aspera

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    DisMom, I am so sorry for your loss.
    Sending gentle, understanding hugs your way. :hug:
     
  12. Eeyore's Girl

    Eeyore's Girl Mouseketeer

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    I was fortunate to have my mother with me for my first 49 years. She passed away on April 1 of this year. I believe she does rest in peace now...my sister passed on September 11, 2013 and I don't think my mother ever quite recovered from it. Now it is just my brother and me (along with our own spouses/children) plus our dad who suffers from Alzheimer's. Life has changed so much in the last two years, but still, I am blessed.
     
  13. Tozzie

    Tozzie DIS Veteran

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    I lost my mom 25 years ago when I was 22 years old and I miss her dearly, in fact I have some health issues and how I wish she was here so I could talk to her but I digress, I lost my dad 11 years after mom and as much as I loved him I still miss my mom more.


    I have a question, does anyone else get jealous of friends or family who still have their mom around, I know I do and I can't help it. I also hate when someone complains about having to help their mo, I am not talking about the people who are estranged from the parent but people who just don't want to deal with them because they are old and sick , I want to scream because what I wouldn't give to have that problem
     
  14. maxaroni

    maxaroni DIS Veteran

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    I hate hearing a co-worker complain about visiting her mom at a nursing home. It's a drudgery for her. I keep thinking how much I miss my mom as she has been gone 18 months. Granted, nursing homes aren't pleasant but you do what you need to do.

     
  15. KristenB17

    KristenB17 Earning My Ears

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    I absolutely get jealous of that.

    I know someone who acts so put out whenever her mom calls her or wants to do something together. It just breaks my heart. I lost my mom in February 2014 to a lengthy battle with leukemia and every single day I miss being able to talk to her or go out to weekly lunch dates.
     
  16. cijay

    cijay mentally confused and prone to wandering

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    I was so lucky to have my mother to help celebrate my 50th birthday in 2012. She took me to Mexico where she promptly got sick :( so my 50th birthday supper was crappy nachos in the cantina because I didn't want to sit in the dining room alone. We figured we'd try it again and celebrate my 51st somewhere but in Feb of 2013, a drunk driver saw to it that it wasn't going to be possible.

    This past February was the trial so I was in court for a week, then - to just tune out and get away from winter and all I'd been sitting through, I went solo (I like solo) to Disneyworld for a week. Really needed it and had such a great time. The Frozen live sing-along was amazing.

    As with a lot of couples who have been married for 53 years, my father gave up after mum's death and he died just this past May. Then, last month, mum's youngest brother passed away - too long to go into detail but it was a lot of depression following his sister's death.

    So the one driver took 3 lives and affected so many more.

    2016 will be time to deal with ashes and get estates finished up, I will be buying myself a condo (woo-hoo!) so some good and some bad but I'm going to reward myself with a cruise on the Dream for my 54th birthday next November.

    I never get jealous of people who still have their parents and I don't even get annoyed when they complain about them because my dad and I had a very strained relationship and I know what it's like when people don't understand that some parents are just very hard to respect and love. The one time I was blindsided by jealousy, didn't expect it - but was when my dad died. I was so jealous that he was going to get to be with her and I have to wait. It was ... like... intense jealousy for about a day.

    I pray for everyone whose stories I have read. I know how hard it is to carry on without her and I hope you all enjoy your wonderful memories of her. I think the hardest thing is not being able to tell her about funny things I've seen.
     
  17. J'Adore Disney

    J'Adore Disney With a smile and a song...

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    I lost my Mom to breast cancer 9 years ago. She was 73 and I was 36 at the time. I often get jealous of friends who still have their Mom, I can't help it. My Mom was my best friend and confidant. I miss her every single hour of every single day of my life. There is no one left in this world I could speak to the way I spoke to her, she was kind, caring, loving, and critical but her criticism was coated with unconditional love. When I am happy, I think of her and wish she was here to share my happiness, and when I'm sad, I wish she was here to comfort me.

    I constantly remind my friends to cherish their mothers, surprise them, love them, visit them, call them, and most importantly thank them. A mother's love is beyond compare to any other kind of love; and some children are unfortunate to know such love, but if you are lucky to have it... or have experienced it.... life will never be the same without it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2015
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  18. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Why oh why does life have to be so mean? I hate being alive and having to deal with life. What I would not give to be in my grave right now.
     
  19. pkelly6

    pkelly6 Mouseketeer

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    Dear Shelly, Sending warm thoughts and virtual hugs to you. I hope today is better and you are able to find even the smallest bit of peace. Kelly
     
  20. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Gosh I need a hug. Life is so cruel and painful. Why do I have to wake up tomorrow...why.
     
  21. DisTXMom

    DisTXMom Mouseketeer

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    Shelly - I have been a member of the motherless daughter's club for almost 5 years. Sending you prayers and hugs. Some days are just plain awful. Others are filled with joy. Be kind to yourself and accept yourself for who you are and where you are. I believe when you are ready, you will begin to see the light in your days and will sense the blessings around you. For now, just love yourself❤️
     

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