My daughter is 9 and I could see her saying this. They have these kinds of moments. They change their minds midstream, all sorts of things, but usually have not really given up on the original desire. She is not an only child. She may be a bit spoiled, but isn’t rotten. She doesn’t make the decision on the vacation, but gets to have her desires heard. I should add I’m the only adult in the house, and my other child is 2, which means there isn’t anyone else to talk to about our vacations right now.
Actually 2 of our most recent vacations have been surprises, so she had no idea anything was even happening.
For our most recent trip we planned together. Among other things, we had BBB scheduled. She had begged and pleaded, cried, what have you on two previous visits. It wasn’t in the budget. This trip I decided to do it, but on two different occasions she asked me to cancel because she was nervous about it. Imagine that. She would not say why at first. I knew her well enough not to do that and it was probably something small we could easily deal with. I reminded her this was a request she had made, and told her that if I cancelled, I was not likely to be able to get the appointment again. Not only that I would be very hesitant to make an appointment for her on a future trip and being 9, she would only have so many chances to have it done.
I talked to her about what had been invested in that add-on (dress off ebay, accessories, an appointment made 6 months in advance). I talked to her about how it would add to the day for her having dinner in the castle later and how she would have a photo session after (she loves having her picture taken). First she said the dress itches. I was like really?!?!?! We’ll put a shirt under it. Then she just said, “Will you tell the lady to be gentle with me?” I told her I would and let me tell you, I think it was just about her favorite day of the trip even though it was the day Tropical Storm Debbie brought her worst on us.
It is important to have these conversations about money. We'll blink and our children will be of an age to make certain decisions that seem a world away now. We do have conversations about what is expensive, how I pay for things, what has to be done to make things possible like going to WDW because these things come up in everyday life. I paid for our most recent trip over a period of 9 months and certain sacrifices had to be made. It is easier when they have some understanding about how expensive things are. I take any opportunity not to be given a hard time over something I will not give in on anyway. And it is vital now that she is starting to earn her extras with chores. She places more value on things now that she has more insight on what it takes to plan or have them.
We can’t do (insert whatever) if we want to be able to do (insert whatever). You don’t need to get (insert whatever) when (insert less expensive option) will be just fine. We had another conversation on our recent trip. We had just returned from the parks and dd wanted to get pizza delivered to our room. We had done it before but we were already in our room, had our baths and were not going back out. This night I told her we would stop at the food court and get a pizza to go because we were already out. She asked why I’d want to go through getting it and carrying it and I explained to her it was $15 to take it to go and $25 to have it delivered. She then decided that a $7.00 personal pizza was good enough.
Does she go overboard at times making requests, sure. Most children do. Does she require attitude adjustments. Yes, most children do. She's a good girl though that everyone is glad to see enter the room and she's an amazing big sister. She's a great help when we travel. We couldn't do what we do otherwise.
In this situation I might say, "You know that would be nice (because in all honesty it would), but this time we are going to do this. It's what we have planned. We have all been looking forward to it and I know you will enjoy yourself anyway. Further, this is what has gone into it (another use for all those spreadsheets and charts some of us make) and we just can't toss that away. Let's start thinking about that (cruise or whatever) for another time and let's talk about some things you can do to prepare (save) for that.
Until a certain time, we just don’t think about certain things. Heck, I can remember if my mom told me when I was younger she didn’t have the money for something I would tell her to write a check.
I was/am so excited cuz we got such a good deal on the trip. Free dining 4 people 5 nights/6 days for righ about $2,000. We were there may 2011 and she had so much fun. She keeps saying cancel it bc she wants to go on a Disney cruise. I don't want to cancel but I also don't want to spend 2000 on trip plus airfare if she's not excited and doesn't care to go. Any advice??
. and was told no.
