Daughter not excited

[Brittmarie04]

Alright everyone I need advice. My DD8 is not excited for our upcoming trip to Disney in Sept. she actually told me today she doesn't even care if we go I was/am so excited cuz we got such a good deal on the trip. Free dining 4 people 5 nights/6 days for righ about $2,000. We were there may 2011 and she had so much fun. She keeps saying cancel it bc she wants to go on a Disney cruise. I don't want to cancel but I also don't want to spend 2000 on trip plus airfare if she's not excited and doesn't care to go. Any advice??

 

[dzorn]

Alright everyone I need advice. My DD8 is not excited for our upcoming trip to Disney in Sept. she actually told me today she doesn't even care if we go I was/am so excited cuz we got such a good deal on the trip. Free dining 4 people 5 nights/6 days for righ about $2,000. We were there may 2011 and she had so much fun. She keeps saying cancel it bc she wants to go on a Disney cruise. I don't want to cancel but I also don't want to spend 2000 on trip plus airfare if she's not excited and doesn't care to go. Any advice??

Sorry but an 8 year old will not tell me they want an cruise instead.

When they pay the bills they get a choice. I would offer to leave her home if you have someone to watch her and see if that changes her tune.

Denise in MI

 

[luvthemouse71]

Sorry but an 8 year old will not tell me they want an cruise instead.

When they pay the bills they get a choice. I would offer to leave her home if you have someone to watch her and see if that changes her tune.

Denise in MI

This..

 

[kaligal]

Alright everyone I need advice. My DD8 is not excited for our upcoming trip to Disney in Sept. she actually told me today she doesn't even care if we go I was/am so excited cuz we got such a good deal on the trip. Free dining 4 people 5 nights/6 days for righ about $2,000. We were there may 2011 and she had so much fun. She keeps saying cancel it bc she wants to go on a Disney cruise. I don't want to cancel but I also don't want to spend 2000 on trip plus airfare if she's not excited and doesn't care to go. Any advice??

Go without her.

 

[Brittmarie04]

Sorry but an 8 year old will not tell me they want an cruise instead.

When they pay the bills they get a choice. I would offer to leave her home if you have someone to watch her and see if that changes her tune.

Denise in MI

I wouldn't leave her at home. She is the whole point of the trip. Maybe she will get more excited as it gets closer. I guess she's just spoiled she's already been on 1 cruise this year and to the beach for 10 days. We usually go on 3-4 vacations a year and usually let her pick where we go for 1-2 of them so i don't think she was trying to hurt my feelings but just saying she'd rather go on a cruise.

 

[twoplustwins]

Sorry but an 8 year old will not tell me they want an cruise instead.

When they pay the bills they get a choice. I would offer to leave her home if you have someone to watch her and see if that changes her tune.

Denise in MI

 

[wdw71]

I have a 8 year old daughter. Maybe you just didn't catch her in the right mood. I swear my daughter is hitting her girly teen mood swings early sometimes
I would bet the day you leave she would rather be going than staying.

 

[kaligal]

I wouldn't leave her at home. She is the whole point of the trip. Maybe she will get more excited as it gets closer. I guess she's just spoiled she's already been on 1 cruise this year and to the beach for 10 days. We usually go on 3-4 vacations a year and usually let her pick where we go for 1-2 of them so i don't think she was trying to hurt my feelings but just saying she'd rather go on a cruise.

If pleasing her is the point of the trip and she doesn't want to go, why don't you just cancel?

 

[worm761]

I wouldn't leave her at home. She is the whole point of the trip. Maybe she will get more excited as it gets closer. I guess she's just spoiled she's already been on 1 cruise this year and to the beach for 10 days. We usually go on 3-4 vacations a year and usually let her pick where we go for 1-2 of them so i don't think she was trying to hurt my feelings but just saying she'd rather go on a cruise.

If she is the whole point of the trip and she doesn't want to go then I would cancel. While I would never let my child dictate where we vacation, if the vacation is for the child then they should have say in it. And she has spoken. Why would you take a vacation for someone to a destination they don't want to go to? That is like taking someone out to dinner to celebrate their achievement but choosing a restaurant they don't like.

 

[Andtototoo]

Go without her.

That.

There is no freaking way an 8 year old would get to dictate our family vacation plans and especially KNOW they did so. That's a slippery slope you're creating.

This attitude:

She keeps saying cancel it bc she wants to go on a Disney cruise.

would get her a SERIOUS verbal smackdown in our house. Who does she think she is? That behavior would get a serious talk and if it didn't change, she'd be left home while the rest of us went on vacation.

And I say this as a parent who had to learn this lesson myself. Yes, I'll admit to being an imperfect parent who made mistakes. And this was one of them.

Our dd is an only child and it was far too easy to plan activities and vacations around what she wanted because there was just the three of us (and because growing up, my parents went the opposite route and took adult vacations and dragged us along on them. I vowed I wouldn't do that and went too far in the opposite direction). Then one day when she was about 6, we woke up and realized that we'd allowed her to dictate our choices AND that doing so did not make her happy. It just made her want more and more and "more" was never enough.

So we cut everything out, made her earn activities and treats and while we asked her input on vacation choices, she knew quite well that she had no "say". We were all happier by giving her boundaries and letting her know she was the child and we were the parents, which means that while we take her interests and preferences into serious account, WE will be the ones making the decisions.

So one parent to another: take back your authority.

 

[poohbear13]

try not to get upset... i have a teen boy and he is the same way but when we get there is has a blast ..... do what you want mama, she will have fun, if not, her worry not yours.

 

[Brittmarie04]

I have a 8 year old daughter. Maybe you just didn't catch her in the right mood. I swear my daughter is hitting her girly teen mood swings early sometimes
I would bet the day you leave she would rather be going than staying.

Yea I think maybe that's it too.

 

[Jennasis]

sorry but an 8 year old will not tell me they want an cruise instead.

When they pay the bills they get a choice. I would offer to leave her home if you have someone to watch her and see if that changes her tune.

Denise in mi

ftw!

 

[Brittmarie04]

try not to get upset... i have a teen boy and he is the same way but when we get there is has a blast ..... do what you want mama, she will have fun, if not, her worry not yours.

Thank you. I'm hoping that's what happens. One day she wants to go one day she doesn't really care. I think she would just prefer to go on a cruise. But where ever we decide to go she will have fun.

 

[Brittmarie04]

That.

There is no freaking way an 8 year old would get to dictate our family vacation plans and especially KNOW they did so. That's a slippery slope you're creating.

This attitude:

would get her a SERIOUS verbal smackdown in our house. Who does she think she is? That behavior would get a serious talk and if it didn't change, she'd be left home while the rest of us went on vacation.

And I say this as a parent who had to learn this lesson myself. Yes, I'll admit to being an imperfect parent who made mistakes. And this was one of them.

Our dd is an only child and it was far too easy to plan activities and vacations around what she wanted because there was just the three of us (and because growing up, my parents went the opposite route and took adult vacations and dragged us along on them. I vowed I wouldn't do that and went too far in the opposite direction). Then one day when she was about 6, we woke up and realized that we'd allowed her to dictate our choices AND that doing so did not make her happy. It just made her want more and more and "more" was never enough.

So we cut everything out, made her earn activities and treats and while we asked her input on vacation choices, she knew quite well that she had no "say". We were all happier by giving her boundaries and letting her know she was the child and we were the parents, which means that while we take her interests and preferences into serious account, WE will be the ones making the decisions.

So one parent to another: take back your authority.

Yes there is just the 3 of us. She is the only child and probably will always be. We have always let her a a choice on 1 vacation a yr for the past few years. The 4th person the trip is planned for is my 15 yr old sister who may not be able to go anyways because of her school and sports schedule she would miss to much. She is very spoiled and were aware of that. But she is not a brat and is usually very grateful for what we get her. I think this was just a rare moment where she was thinking she would rather go on a Disney cruise than to Disney because this was "her" trip that we have been discussing.

 

[poohbear13]

really, how can you not have fun at disney????

 

[kristin08]

What an awful attitude to have! Maybe you should sit her down and tell her how lucky she is to be in a family that can afford a vacation to Disney and tell her that you can cancel if she would rather not go anywhere.

 

[ttintagel]

I guarantee she'll have a good time once she gets there.

Take her on as many boat rides as you can and tell her, "This is your Disney cruise!"

 

[kaligal]

Yes there is just the 3 of us. She is the only child and probably will always be. We have always let her a a choice on 1 vacation a yr for the past few years. The 4th person the trip is planned for is my 15 yr old sister who may not be able to go anyways because of her school and sports schedule she would miss to much. She is very spoiled and were aware of that. But she is not a brat and is usually very grateful for what we get her. I think this was just a rare moment where she was thinking she would rather go on a Disney cruise than to Disney because this was "her" trip that we have been discussing.

You don't spoil a child by giving to them.

You spoil a child by giving in to them.

Spoiling doesn't require any money at all. It requires bad parents.

Children who tell their parents that X isn't okay, they want Y...those kids are beginning to be spoiled. A simple No, followed by ignoring the sulking or temper tantrum will snap them out of it after just a couple instances.

Children who demand that they receive Y and not X are spoiled and will require some work to fix.

 

[itsdisneytime]

I'll throw my two cents out there as the parent of an "only child" also .....

while I can't say that she would have a problem with a DisneyWorld trip - I will say that she has been wanting to go on the Disney Cruise.

I think what happens is we try to please ourselves by getting that oh so good feeling from the reaction of "happiness" out of our children. It sounds like you are not getting that feeling and so now you are wondering if you should cave in to her "demands".

I say that since you have this trip planned, you should go ahead and go -- but if its possible - try to pick some things to do that you all normally wouldnt do. I hate to play the devils advocate here but, if you are a budgeter and do the same things over and over when you go - it can become redundant (especially to a child)
Maybe some special ADR? Or go to the Bippidi Bopiddi Botique? Pirates League? Or if your going around a special party like mickeys not so scary halloween party or mickeys very merry christmas party.

Id say make the next trip a cruise -- switch things up a bit.