Dating Advice needed...is it a red flag?

[Disney Doll]

To update, the ex of 30 years, is still a control freak over me and still tries to make him self look better by trying to discredit me.
We have been divorced since 1979!!!!!

Am I the only one who can't believe that 1979 was THIRTY years ago?
I remember 1979...clearly.

 

[disneymarie]

Am I the only one who can't believe that 1979 was THIRTY years ago?
I remember 1979...clearly.

And 1995 was 15 years ago and I would love to have them back.....in just another 15 years I will be 70 my ds reminded me. lol. I reminded him he will be 50!
I can't believe my babies are in their 30's, one is passed away, and my youngest is 14.......
That is another thread though.....

I am glad OP will have a lifetime yet ahead of her to grab every day and make something special out of it. Not regret a decision made 3 decades earlier.

Our girls and son's need to consider that in choosing a mate, life partner..

 

[goin2disneyagain]

run away fast as you can. And do not go for a 2 hour car ride with him....just doesn't sound right at all!

I agree. RUN away FAST!!!!

Just saw the update, I am so glad you decided to end things. I think it was a wise decision.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

So, here's kind of an opposite question from me. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago and I have started dating again. I got a reply to my ad on Yahoo personals yesterday and during the course of conversation, I mentioned what's going on with my friend up in the VA Hospital in St. Pete. The guy is from Tampa and we haven't even gone on a date yet (we have plans to next Saturday night)....he offered to do anything he could do to help even if it was just coming to get me and take me up there because I'm having some car problems right now. It's about an hour trip down here from Tampa, then another 45 minutes to the VA hospital....is that strange or does he sound like a really nice guy (he also thanked me for accepting his dinner invitation...something I've never had a guy do)?

 

[Bluestars]

Beachgirl, he could be a perfectly nice guy. I think you will be able to tell a lot more about him after your first date. I wouldn't accept rides from someone I didn't know very well though. I hope you have a great first date.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Thanks, bluestars and I won't. Right now, my friend's best friend from his teenage years and his brother are down here and making sure I get to see him anyway.

 

[FireDancer]

So, here's kind of an opposite question from me. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago and I have started dating again. I got a reply to my ad on Yahoo personals yesterday and during the course of conversation, I mentioned what's going on with my friend up in the VA Hospital in St. Pete. The guy is from Tampa and we haven't even gone on a date yet (we have plans to next Saturday night)....he offered to do anything he could do to help even if it was just coming to get me and take me up there because I'm having some car problems right now. It's about an hour trip down here from Tampa, then another 45 minutes to the VA hospital....is that strange or does he sound like a really nice guy (he also thanked me for accepting his dinner invitation...something I've never had a guy do)?

It sounds a bit clingy but the guy might have tried to show he was caring and there to help without realizing how it came across. I agree with the PP that said what ever you do make sure you really know him before taking hour plus rides with him. Looking up from a ditch as a hatchet is about to come down is not the time to realize you made a mistake.

Now, if he asks you to look at his computer while you are in the library (especially if he is sitting on a hard chair) RUN! I found out on these boards last week that this is a sign of pending doom.

 

[Bluestars]

Now, if he asks you to look at his computer while you are in the library (especially if he is sitting on a hard chair) RUN! I found out on these boards last week that this is a sign of pending doom.

Technically, a man is only a threat at the library if he is sitting on a hard chair. So, check the chair first.

 

[bumbershoot]

While I did end it yesterday, I am actually quite surprised at how quickly rumors actually start haha.

I never said anything about him taking Meth or Shaking.

Well it wasn't "rumors". You said he said he had lost his teeth due to drug use. That is CLASSIC for meth (hi, I live in Tacoma, I know of this...when city govt decided to call it the "most wired city" b/c of our local cable/internet company, the jokes went for years b/c that's the term for a meth high and it was so apt for here). You said he said he couldn't write/type well because of aftereffects of the drug use. Since meth, already thought of because of the teeth, causes brain damage, that could be an aftereffect of it.

No one, or at least not me, is trying to *start rumors*, or do anything other than speculate on what it might have been (and since meth is about the most addictive out there, it's either incredible that he shook it OR something to watch out for, that he'd go back), so I'm not sure why it weirds you out that people have wondered about that.

Glad it's done!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Technically, a man is only a threat at the library if he is sitting on a hard chair. So, check the chair first.

You two have me seriously curious.

 

[FireDancer]

You two have me seriously curious.

Well ,there was a thread about someone who was asked to look at something on a computer screen and give her opinion at the public library. Because it was a male who decided to sit on a hard chair when there were soft sitting options she made the completely logical connection that he meant to kill, dismember, and leave her body body in a ditch.

Apparently the thread has disappeared from the Dis for no real reason, but threads tend to do that from time to time.

 

[Kim&Chris]

So, here's kind of an opposite question from me. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago and I have started dating again. I got a reply to my ad on Yahoo personals yesterday and during the course of conversation, I mentioned what's going on with my friend up in the VA Hospital in St. Pete. The guy is from Tampa and we haven't even gone on a date yet (we have plans to next Saturday night)....he offered to do anything he could do to help even if it was just coming to get me and take me up there because I'm having some car problems right now. It's about an hour trip down here from Tampa, then another 45 minutes to the VA hospital....is that strange or does he sound like a really nice guy (he also thanked me for accepting his dinner invitation...something I've never had a guy do)?

I always believed the "too nice, too fast" thing was a red flag also. Not trying to advise you either way, just suggesting that you be careful. Sometimes those sorts of people can end up being a little controlling.

 

[Disney Doll]

I've recommended it before, and here I am recommedning it again.

A book entitled "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.

Read it. Rather than make you more fearful, it empowers you to trust your instincts.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Well ,there was a thread about someone who was asked to look at something on a computer screen and give her opinion at the public library. Because it was a male who decided to sit on a hard chair when there were soft sitting options she made the completely logical connection that he meant to kill, dismember, and leave her body body in a ditch.

Apparently the thread has disappeared from the Dis for no real reason, but threads tend to do that from time to time.

That makes perfect sense to me
I will be careful. It didn't scare me, really...it just kind of surprised me. He also said that he is planning a week-long vacation to Wilderness Lodge this summer and that he knows "we have a long way to go before than but you would be more than welcome to come." One other thing he told me when I asked him what kind of restaurant he'd like to go to (since he is coming from Tampa down to Sarasota, which is my neck of the woods I'm choosing the restaurant) is that the only thing he would request is that I pick whatever I would enjoy most because while he's not rich, he's not impoverished either and he can enjoy a nice meal as well as anyone. So, I'm thinking he may just be a gentleman and I'm not used to being treated with that kind of chivalry or being spoiled (I usually do the spoiling.)