Dangerous/unhealthy behavior....

[LuvOrlando]

His riding a motorcycle without a helmet greatly increases his chances of death or catastrophic head injury if he were to crash. If he were to die or suffer a severe head injury that left him in a vegetative state, he would no longer be there for you or your family. Earning potential - gone. Ability to go to son's baseball games - gone. Ability to walk daughter down the aisle when she gets married - gone. Ability to participate in family events - gone. He could have greatly reduced his chances of a severe injury or death by wearing a helmet even if he is by himself. Injury or death to himself greatly affects more than just him.

I remember being 18 and having a boyfriend with a bike. He lived in Brooklyn and my favorite thing ever was to sit on the back and take off my helmet so the wind could blow through my waist length hair as we drove over one of the bridges on top so I could see the NYC skyline at night. Yes, as an adult I now know it was stupid and dangerous but as a 18 year old it was heaven on earth.... and no-one could tell me different. My choice had nothing to do with the people around me, I enjoyed it so I did it.

Everything you say is all true, but your DH is a grown man so he has to be given room to make his own choices. The fact is you chose to line your life up with him, but that doesn't mean you own him. 2 years ago my DH wanted a bike and I didn't say no... I wouldn't say no because I do not want to be his mother. The day before DH went to buy one my MIL came over all upset saying to me, "How could you let him buy it?" and I told her "I don't want to be his mother, but you are his mother so go talk to your son." Well, DH could stand up to just about anything, but apparently not his mother crying. So no bike.

Why my MIL's reaction : My DH's best friend died in a spectacular motorcycle collision with a telephone pole a week after he asked DH to be his Best Man, we were all 20 and he did have his helmet on, but it wasn't enough.

SO fast forward to 2009. 6 months after DH decided not to get the bike the guy he was going to get one with was in a pretty bad accident when his bike rolled while making a turn last year. He did have his helmet on so he survived, but he broke his clavicle and couldn't work for a month. He was on a local road and this guy is no speedster so he was only doing about 15-20.

SO if I was in your shoes I wouldn't fight DH on it, it won't go anywhere if he doesn't see your side. But, I also wouldn't leave myself and my kids unprotected. I would offer him a truce, no lip from me in exchange for a nice sized life insurance policy, say $250,000 which would allow me to pay off the house and take care of the kids if something unthinkable would happen. I wouldn't take no for an answer.... a no on this would mean war. Grown men can make heir own choices but there is no way I would allow him to bring me & my kids down with him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, it does not mean that you are going to be saved, but it does increase your chances of surviving some injuries.

DH had an accident on his road bike two weeks ago while riding with the team with which he races. He hit a small pothole at about 25 MPH. We think he knocked himself out and he broke his shoulder blade and collarbone. His helmet was split from the impact. I am not sure what condition he would be in, had he not been wearing one. The helmet has been shown to DS and the other children in our neighborhood that gripe about wearing one. It has definitely changed their perspective about going without a helmet.

You just proved my point. Injury will occur on a bike with a helmet.

Yes your dh was spared from cracking his head open however if his arm was taken off a helmet cannot save you from that. Growing up I had a next door neighbor that lost his arm from a sign post.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

You really can't equate how "safely" someone lives their life with how much they love you. That would be like saying soldiers or policemen or firemen don't love their spouses as much as those who work behind a desk.

Thanks for saying this...I was thinking the same thing but said to myself......no...someone will argue and say how those are JUSTIFIED...so I just left it alone.

 

[Kit'smommy]

You just proved my point. Injury will occur on a bike with a helmet.

Yes your dh was spared from cracking his head open however if his arm was taken off a helmet cannot save you from that. Growing up I had a next door neighbor that lost his arm from a sign post.

I just proved your point? Don't be absurd. It is true that injury can occur even with a helmet. DH rolled and hit his head, shoulder and back. I am sure he would have had a head injury without the helmet. He isn't going out in full body armor for a Saturday morning ride, but that isn't any reason not to minimize his risk of a head injury just the same.

 

[DizBelle]

Uh - FTR, my DH has no motorcycle and has no desire to get one.

This is purely an intellectual exercise.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I just proved your point? Don't be absurd. It is true that injury can occur even with a helmet. DH rolled and hit his head, shoulder and back. I am sure he would have had a head injury without the helmet. He isn't going out in full body armor for a Saturday morning ride, but that isn't any reason not to minimize his risk of a head injury just the same.

Yes, you proved my point. You are being narrow, limiting injury on a bike to head injuries. You must include all injuries. The act of riding a motorcycle with or without a helmet is risky. With a helmet you are protecting your head and reducing injury there however that does not stop the other injuries.

 

[Kit'smommy]

Yes, you proved my point. You are being narrow, limiting injury on a bike to head injuries. You must include all injuries. The act of riding a motorcycle with or without a helmet is risky. With a helmet you are protecting your head and reducing injury there however that does not stop the other injuries.

And you are just being argumentative. There are many ways people can get hurt or killed. But failing to minimize what risks we can is not just silly. I read recently that approximately, 1 in 60 babies born today will die in a car crash. But I still drive a car and don't think too much about what might happen. I do put on my seatbelt and pay attention to my driving.

By the way, I know two other people, a friend from college and my uncle that had head injuries from motorcycle accidents. Neither of them ever had other accidents on their motorcycles causing any other injuries. They both essentially did endos after their bikes hit something and stopped and they didn't. Based on the discussions I had with my long term ER doctor boyfriend, I would guess that head injuries on any kind of bike are more common than say ripping your arm off.

Anyway, I agree that someone engaging in dangerous behavior says little about how they feel about you.

 

[krcit]

What about if your loved ones asks you to stop the behavior, does that make a difference?

For example, if my DH wanted to get a motorcycle I would ask him not to. I wouldn't forbid it as he is a grown man but I would ask him to please not get one.

 

[SpecialK]

I think it says more about his feelings of invincibility than his feelings for you. That feeling of being bullet proof should go away as maturity sets in.

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

I don't think it says as much as when your husband buys himself a top of the line, very safe, expensive motorcycle helmet but he buys you a cheap used one.

That is why I bought my own motorcycle helmet. Lol.

 

[disfan07]

Theres a reason why many doctors and nurses call motorcycles donor cycles.

One of our family friends is an ER nurse and she has said that some of teh most horrific injuries she has ever seen are the result of motorcycle accidents.

Out of all of the behaviors described (or possible dangerous behaviors) motorcycles are teh worst to me. i dont know why but I really just don't understand teh point of motorcycles.

 

[Kit'smommy]

Out of all of the behaviors described (or possible dangerous behaviors) motorcycles are teh worst to me. i dont know why but I really just don't understand teh point of motorcycles.

I feel the same way. DH had a Harley for the 6 years he was in the military and his dad is really into motorcycles. He wanted to get another one after we got married, that then decided to get back into cycling instead. I really don't like it much either as it isn't a very safe sport, but I told him I would complain about the road bikes as long as there was no motorcycle. After this last injury I have joked that he needs to take up a safer hobby - like stamp collecting .

 

[Hercules10]

I lived like a crazy mofo for years and years (still do sometimes). Many close calls. Cancer got my wife before "unhealthy behavior" got me. Living life in bubble wrap is boring.

 

[DizBelle]

I lived like a crazy mofo for years and years (still do sometimes). Many close calls. Cancer got my wife before "unhealthy behavior" got me. Living life in bubble wrap is boring.

I guess you have to make a decision. Do you have a potentially (and probably likely) shorter life living like a "crazy mofo", leaving your spouse and children to live without you? Or do you tone it down, live more safely and responsibly and increase your chances of being at your daughter's wedding?

It seems to me that the message to your daughter if you live like a "crazy mofo" is that you are more interested in living like a "crazy mofo" than being around for her as she grows up.

Of course there are no absolutes. Wearing a helmet does not protect you 100% but I think everyone (and statistics) show that it greatly increases your chances of surviving a crash without a catastrophic head injury. You may bust an arm or leg, but your head will be intact. Not riding a motorcycle at all increases your chances even more.

 

[NatashaDisneyCM]

I tend to be pretty convervative. I don't smoke but grew up riding motorcycles (always with a helmet). That said, I don't really see that smoking or not wearing a helmet necessarily says anything about how you feel about a loved one.

same with me! I prefer not to wear a helmet thou. But in my state you have to.
I have lost several friends ...riding, and they all had helmets on. I believe when it is your time to go....what a way to go!

I also have the need for speed and none of this has anything to do with loved ones!

 

[Hercules10]

I guess you have to make a decision. Do you have a potentially (and probably likely) shorter life living like a "crazy mofo", leaving your spouse and children to live without you? Or do you tone it down, live more safely and responsibly and increase your chances of being at your daughter's wedding?

In the same manner of reasoning;
*Are you overweight?
*Do you smoke?
*Do you drink?
*Do you speed?
*Do you stress over things unnecessarily and raise your blood pressure?

All of these can shorten life too.

He who is without vice cast the first stone.

 

[DizBelle]

In the same manner of reasoning;
*Are you overweight?
*Do you smoke?
*Do you drink?
*Do you speed?
*Do you stress over things unnecessarily and raise your blood pressure?

All of these can shorten life too.

He who is without vice cast the first stone.

Yes, but there are things you can (easily) do to reduce the impact of these on your life span. You can simply choose to not smoke, not drink, and not speed. How stressed you get is more of a personality thing and maybe not that easy to change. But 3 out of 4 isn't bad.

 

[C.Ann]

My younger brother was wearing a helmet on his motorcycle - on his way to work - and died at the scene.. (No other vehicles involved.)

Drinking; smoking; tailgating; driving while texting or using a cell phone; sky diving; piloting your own airplane; hunting; scuba diving; overeating; snowmobiling; ice fishing; etc. - all carry risks - but I don't believe they are a "statement" in terms of how you feel about your loved ones..