D Hall

[GoofieRuthie]

I'm just curious how others might react to their child getting D halls. My DD11 has had 3 D halls this year. The first one was for not doing homework so she was grounded. The last two have been in the last three weeks. One for chewing gum in class, the other for passing a note to a friend. I started to get mad, but then realized that these are pretty trivial really. When she tried to make excuses and act like she was being picked on by the teacher, I did tell her that she was breaking a rule and she knew better. I didn't take any other action though. So...what I'm wondering. Would this have been a huge deal to anyone else? I guess I just feel lucky that it isn't something like skipping school, smoking, fighting, etc.. She's a good kid for the most part and I honestly don't think I will have to deal with those issues with her, but you never know.

 

[swanmom]

Nope. I'm with you. DD has one teacher who gives 'detentions' for everything except breathing. DD, who is really a good kid and doesn't really act up in school, was given a detention for having a 'tic tac' mint in her mouth. DD was very upset and talked about how this would 'ruin her record' and saying how unfair the teacher was. Since she was already beating herself up pretty well, we didn't impose another 'home' punishment. But, we did have a talk and I did tell her that, whether she thought it was trivial or not, she had broken the rules and had to accept the consequences. However, now that the drama has blown over and she has served her detention, we have a pet name for her first detention.......................the famous 'tic tac timeout' !

 

[Longsx3]

I'm just curious how others might react to their child getting D halls. My DD11 has had 3 D halls this year. The first one was for not doing homework so she was grounded. The last two have been in the last three weeks. One for chewing gum in class, the other for passing a note to a friend. I started to get mad, but then realized that these are pretty trivial really. When she tried to make excuses and act like she was being picked on by the teacher, I did tell her that she was breaking a rule and she knew better. I didn't take any other action though. So...what I'm wondering. Would this have been a huge deal to anyone else? I guess I just feel lucky that it isn't something like skipping school, smoking, fighting, etc.. She's a good kid for the most part and I honestly don't think I will have to deal with those issues with her, but you never know.

I am sure my opinion won't be a popular one but here it goes: I am currently substitute teacher in a high school and both of the trival incidents you mentioned are highly distracting in a classroom setting.
Gum Chewing, for high schoolers it is usally done loudly and without manners. When you are facing a sea of 30 teenagers popping gum while you're lecturing it isn't a pleasent experience, also many student have problems placing it in the proper recepticle when they are done chewing . If there is a no gum policy in the student hand book or in the classroom rules, after 2 warnings it is detention worthy.

Note passing, as a parent I would be upset if my child is passing notes in class because that means she probably is not pay attention to a lecture or is not doing an assignment. Students don't learn things from just sitting in the room while teachers lecture, they must be focused and attentive and this can't be done while writing a note to your BF. Also note passing is disruptive to a class because all of the other students tend to get distracted by it. Again most teacher I know would give a warning or two and then detention so maybe this isn't the first time your daughter's gotten caught??

As parents we might not see how our son or daughter passing a not or chewing gum is a bad thing...but multiply that by 30!

BTW we ran into one of my High Schoolers this afternoon, one that I get a long well with but she loves gum...she knows when she walks into a room I am in to spit it out. She asked DD(9) " DO you chew gum? DD answered nope my Mom won't let me! She answered I knew you would say that, she doesn't let me either"

 

[GoofieRuthie]

Thanks for your point of view, Longsx3. I wasn't upset with either teacher giving the D halls.(it was more of annoyance for the inconvenience it caused having to go pick her up) Like I told my daughter, she broke the rules so she had to pay the price. I also wasn't really upset with my daughter either though. I felt that she could be doing much worse things. So, in these cases, I didn't feel that there was an extra punishment or lecture needed.

 

[mickeyboat]

I had my one and only detention in 8th grade. I was humiliated - but I deserved it. In middle school, if you committed a more "trivial" offense like chewing gum or passing notes, you were sent to the office to "sign the book." If you signed the book twice in a marking period, you got a detention. I think that was a great way to do it.

Denae

 

[Buckalew11]

Next year DD will have a middle school teacher who, instead of detention, would make the child read the note aloud in class. It curbs those notes very quickly, so I am told.

I'd have a problem with my 12yo breaking the rules that many times. I understand that you think it is no big deal and I am sure she got that message from you so it still won't be a big deal to her either. And you are right, it could be worse things...much worse. But again, I think we often live up to what is expected from us. JMHO.

 

[GoofieRuthie]

Next year DD will have a middle school teacher who, instead of detention, would make the child read the note aloud in class. It curbs those notes very quickly, so I am told.

I'd have a problem with my 12yo breaking the rules that many times. I understand that you think it is no big deal and I am sure she got that message from you so it still won't be a big deal to her either. And you are right, it could be worse things...much worse. But again, I think we often live up to what is expected from us. JMHO.

I had a teacher that would read the notes aloud also. It did keep the note passing to a minimum.

As for her thinking it was no big deal because I didn't think so. I never let her know that I thought it was "trivial". When she first told me I started to get upset and she knew by my tone. But after I thought about it, I didn't feel a need to punish further. I did however tell her that if she received anymore D halls for ANY reason, she would lose priviledges. I guess when I said I didn't lecture further, that wasn't completely true. I did make a deal out of her having 3 this year and that it was getting ridiculous. I just didn't make a deal out of why she got them. Make sense?