Custodial Parents Child Support Support Group!

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Finally some good news. I just got a letter stating that the state issued an order to withhold income from my ex. Now who the heck knows how long it will take to actually see some child suport but at least this is something. It is pretty funny that when I called they were so upset with me for calling and told me they had no info. The letter I got was dated the same day. I guess the squeaky wheel does get the oil.

 

[Irin997]

Finally some good news. I just got a letter stating that the state issued an order to withhold income from my ex. Now who the heck knows how long it will take to actually see some child suport but at least this is something. It is pretty funny that when I called they were so upset with me for calling and told me they had no info. The letter I got was dated the same day. I guess the squeaky wheel does get the oil.

Congrats! Half the battle is won!! Now let's hope some $$$$ rolls in for your kids!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Congrats! Half the battle is won!! Now let's hope some $$$$ rolls in for your kids!

Thanks. I do know that my local child support office has been in direct contact with ex's employer so hopefully I will see some money soon.

 

[Miss Park Avenue]

Thanks. I do know that my local child support office has been in direct contact with ex's employer so hopefully I will see some money soon.

 

[Belle0101]

Finally some good news. I just got a letter stating that the state issued an order to withhold income from my ex. Now who the heck knows how long it will take to actually see some child suport but at least this is something. It is pretty funny that when I called they were so upset with me for calling and told me they had no info. The letter I got was dated the same day. I guess the squeaky wheel does get the oil.

Good for you and for your kids!!!

 

[disneydreamin247]

Well the genius working in the CSU office at family court never updated my order when I gave it to him. I knew he didn't when he just glanced at it and said "ok." So now I have to mail it in to have the arrears updated.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well the genius working in the CSU office at family court never updated my order when I gave it to him. I knew he didn't when he just glanced at it and said "ok." So now I have to mail it in to have the arrears updated.

I wish that there were actual child support workers that cared. I mean I am sure there are but they just don't understand that this is not a hand out that we are asking for.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

QUESTION... When the state tells you they have issued an order to withhold income from a paycheck. How long does it usually take to start withholding? I know every state is different but if anyone can give me the answer from their own state that might give me some kind of ballpark figure.

 

[Miss Park Avenue]

They told me it would take six to eight weeks. It came eight weeks later. I hope yours comes sooner.

 

[HonnyDipp]

QUESTION... When the state tells you they have issued an order to withhold income from a paycheck. How long does it usually take to start withholding? I know every state is different but if anyone can give me the answer from their own state that might give me some kind of ballpark figure.

I just received one for my DS's father the other day. In the state of Virginia, they tell you to wait at least 30 days for the first payment

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

QUESTION... When the state tells you they have issued an order to withhold income from a paycheck. How long does it usually take to start withholding? I know every state is different but if anyone can give me the answer from their own state that might give me some kind of ballpark figure.

It took about 4 or 5 weeks before I started seeing checks.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Thank you for the replies, Miss Park Avenue, Honny Dipp and KeepMoving Forward. I assumed it would be ablout this long. I was hoping that I would get some money before the end of the year. On the child suport website I am able to see any payment activity so hopefully within a couple of weeks I shoould see someting. I just hope he doesn't quit his job before I can get at least some of the arrears.

 

[Irin997]

QUESTION... When the state tells you they have issued an order to withhold income from a paycheck. How long does it usually take to start withholding? I know every state is different but if anyone can give me the answer from their own state that might give me some kind of ballpark figure.

It took me about a month or so to get my first payment.

 

[taraprather]

My situation is kind of long..i'll make it as short as possible.
I got pregnant at 15...ds father was 20 at the time. All was good for a little while. He was around all the time (we were together until ds was 5 months old, but obviously not living together) and buying him what he needed. We broke up and I met another guy when ds was 8 months old (that guy is my dh now). Ds father still came around on his own time until ds was 2. He called me on his weekend to pick him up and said "I can't pick him up this weekend, I'm about to get in a fight". I of course went off and he never called back. My husband has been wonderful with him (he is 9 now). He calls him his son, does everything a dad does. Now we do have a dd4 of our own and he does show a bit of favoritism towards her, which upsets me sometimes, but he still loves my ds and does everything for him.
Well my son (whom was only 2 the last time he seen his father...he calls him father and my dh daddy) started asking about his father on and off over the years, but it got real bad last winter. He would cry over him asking me why his father didn't love him. So I finally decided to track him down. I contacted his old place of employment, and sure enough, he was still there!!! He got on the phone and we talked for a good hour. It was a great conversation. He sounded like he has really changed and ready to be a father. I met with him a couple days later (w/out ds and w/out dh...dh thought it would be a bad idea if he was there). We talked some more and he really had me convinced he's a changed man. I finally let him see ds. Ds was really shy at first and his father kept trying to hug him..he finally did. They went out and got icecream. The following week he came around everyday for about 1-2 hours a day. The second weekend my son realllllly wanted to stay the night with him. After hesitation, I agreed. He stayed the whole weekend with him. My son came home sooo happpy. He had met 2 out of his 4 brothers and sisters (yes, his father has 5 kids by 4 differenet mamas......my ds is his oldest). So the following weekend he was to pick him up again. He gave us a time 3pm....well 6pm rolled around and he was finally rolling in. I yelled(without my son around) for being late and not calling. He didn't understand why I was so upset. Well Buddy, you haven't been around the passed 6-7 years, of course my son is going to be upset if you;re late, he thought you weren't coming. So which in turn really made me upset. He ended up taking him for that weekend and he made plans for 2 weeks after that. Well he never showed up or called again (this was last summer). My son is finally seeing what kind of father he is. Because he has nothing to do with any of his other kids either. Oh yeah, did I mention that my ds is named after him and one of his other sons (who is 2) is also named after him .
I've gotten child support off and on for 9 years now. It's actually been pretty regular the past 2 years though. He is about 7k behind. Oh..he says he has insurance on him (which he is required to carry) and refused to get me a card so I have no idea what company is carrying his insurance. I called CS and I have to get that from his father.....grrrr.
My dh wants to adopt him, I mentioned this to his father and he said "over my dead body". So does anyone know a way to get a adoption to go through without fathers consent? I don't even know where his father is living anymore. I seen his mom recently and she doesn't even know
Sorry, told you it was long....although this was the short version.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

My situation is kind of long..i'll make it as short as possible.
I got pregnant at 15...ds father was 20 at the time. All was good for a little while. He was around all the time (we were together until ds was 5 months old, but obviously not living together) and buying him what he needed. We broke up and I met another guy when ds was 8 months old (that guy is my dh now). Ds father still came around on his own time until ds was 2. He called me on his weekend to pick him up and said "I can't pick him up this weekend, I'm about to get in a fight". I of course went off and he never called back. My husband has been wonderful with him (he is 9 now). He calls him his son, does everything a dad does. Now we do have a dd4 of our own and he does show a bit of favoritism towards her, which upsets me sometimes, but he still loves my ds and does everything for him.
Well my son (whom was only 2 the last time he seen his father...he calls him father and my dh daddy) started asking about his father on and off over the years, but it got real bad last winter. He would cry over him asking me why his father didn't love him. So I finally decided to track him down. I contacted his old place of employment, and sure enough, he was still there!!! He got on the phone and we talked for a good hour. It was a great conversation. He sounded like he has really changed and ready to be a father. I met with him a couple days later (w/out ds and w/out dh...dh thought it would be a bad idea if he was there). We talked some more and he really had me convinced he's a changed man. I finally let him see ds. Ds was really shy at first and his father kept trying to hug him..he finally did. They went out and got icecream. The following week he came around everyday for about 1-2 hours a day. The second weekend my son realllllly wanted to stay the night with him. After hesitation, I agreed. He stayed the whole weekend with him. My son came home sooo happpy. He had met 2 out of his 4 brothers and sisters (yes, his father has 5 kids by 4 differenet mamas......my ds is his oldest). So the following weekend he was to pick him up again. He gave us a time 3pm....well 6pm rolled around and he was finally rolling in. I yelled(without my son around) for being late and not calling. He didn't understand why I was so upset. Well Buddy, you haven't been around the passed 6-7 years, of course my son is going to be upset if you;re late, he thought you weren't coming. So which in turn really made me upset. He ended up taking him for that weekend and he made plans for 2 weeks after that. Well he never showed up or called again (this was last summer). My son is finally seeing what kind of father he is. Because he has nothing to do with any of his other kids either. Oh yeah, did I mention that my ds is named after him and one of his other sons (who is 2) is also named after him .
I've gotten child support off and on for 9 years now. It's actually been pretty regular the past 2 years though. He is about 7k behind. Oh..he says he has insurance on him (which he is required to carry) and refused to get me a card so I have no idea what company is carrying his insurance. I called CS and I have to get that from his father.....grrrr.
My dh wants to adopt him, I mentioned this to his father and he said "over my dead body". So does anyone know a way to get a adoption to go through without fathers consent? I don't even know where his father is living anymore. I seen his mom recently and she doesn't even know
Sorry, told you it was long....although this was the short version.

I am sorry that your son has had to go through all this. About the adoption there are few ways that you can have another person adopt your son and have the dad's rights termintaed..without his consent. Even then if dad shows up in court most likely your request will be denied. I thought about having ex's rights terminated. I thought about it for a whole year and I decided against it. My DD knows what kind of man her father is..she came to that conclusion herself. I figured that I did not want my daughter to ever think that I was the reason that she doesn't have a relationship with her dad.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

About the adoption-it depends on if you have sole custody or joint. I have joint with my ex and my DH has wanted to adopt both kids for the last 10 years. Even though my ex doesn't see the kids, its a matter of ego-he won't consent. Our lawyer and the court told us basically we are out of luck unless my ex consents. We have one year to go until DS turns 18 and then we plan to have DH adopt DS. At that point, I think my ex will relent about our DD, but if not, we will have 2 more years to wait for her to turn 18 and go ahead with the adoption anyway.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well I guess it is not in the stars for me to get child suport. My ex has held onto his job for 2 months. I received a notice from child support stating that they are going to withhold 50% of his income...this was 3 weeks ago and nothing yet but am hoping. I just found out that he is going to jail. (you can find out the details from my other post). I was planing on saving that money and paying for DD's braces. I guess I will have to find another way to pay for them.

 

[Miss Park Avenue]

Well I guess it is not in the stars for me to get child suport. My ex has held onto his job for 2 months. I received a notice from child support stating that they are going to withhold 50% of his income...this was 3 weeks ago and nothing yet but am hoping. I just found out that he is going to jail. (you can find out the details from my other post). I was planing on saving that money and paying for DD's braces. I guess I will have to find another way to pay for them.

I'm really sorry.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I'm really sorry.

Thank you. Financially taking care of DD was never important to ex. About 5 years ago DH and I were going through a rough time. I was pregnant and put on bedrest so I had to quit my job. My state doesn't offer any short term disability for pregnant women. About a month later my DH lost his job. We struggled to pay the bills and put food on the table. DH did get another (and much better) job. But we were so far in the hole it took us over a year to get back to normal. It was then that ex took me back to court for custody. He didn't win but it was emotionally and financially draining (to the tune of 10,000). This year I had to take him back to court. Through all of this ex never paid child support. He didn't cover her health insurance, like he was supposed to. During the time DH was out of work I had to pay her medical out of pocket and when I would ask for the half that was stated in the court order he would tell me that if I can't afford to pay it..maybe he should keep DD. Finally I thought he was going to have to be responsible. He was going to have to help out and then he gets himself arrested and is probably going to jail. It just doesn't feel fair. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do. My DD doesn't want for anything. She plays the violin and take gymnastics. She is a happy child, considering. But I feel like if ex can keep making our ives miserable he should at least have to pay CS. My goodness it is only 74.00 a month..that is less than it costs just to drive her to school each month.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Just giving this a bump. I know how buried threads get on the community board.