Cruise's (Chris) Accountability/Sap Journal :) (comments welcome)

[Cruise04]

Okay - well I fessed up this morning. I did gain 1.5 pounds. It's okay - I was very bloated this morning but the way I gained it was well worth it. I will lose it again, I'm NOT quitting!!!!!!

I got to work and had a bad morning and came home. I wasn't feeling well and some things as soon as I walked in the door just set me off. I couldn't stay. So I'm going to probably catch up on journals in a bit. I don't want to sleep, I needed a no-brain day.

Hope you all have a great day and week. Pretty rainy here this morning but that's okay - it's part of the nearing of fall right (but suppose to be 84 today - WOW). I'm ready for the fall and the cooler temps.

Keep on
Chris

 

[lovinaz]

I think your plan is great about the weekends. You've been doing this long enough to know what you can eat and have obviously learned portion control. I'm sure you won't let yourself completely blow it on the weekends, so go ahead and enjoy those treats!!

Keep it up!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Have a GREAT week!!!

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Chris,

At least half of your gain is probably water so you'll flush that out asap I am sure!!! And you did have a great time this weekend! I know I will be up a few after my Disney trip but Disney pounds are magic pockets of pixie dust! (Right??? LOL!)
I hope that you have a great day tomorrow! I too am looking forward to the fall weather, I love it!

Mike

 

[Cruise04]

Well yesterday was a horrible day - my mental health sucked and I left work as soon as I got there as I couldn't have stayed (I left in tears). So I did get some things done that have been sitting waiting to be accomplished. I think some of it was overwhelmness and the fact that I haven't been home much the last 3 weeks. I feel better today.

But I didn't write anything down yesterday, didn't work out, and no way did I drink the amount of water I should have. Didn't gain, didn't lose. Oh well. Back on it today.

This week is a bad one too with dd having homecoming activities so I won't be on much this week. Try to get on when I can.

Take care all - and keep on
Chris

 

[lovinaz]

We all have our down days. We just need to pick ourselves back up and get back on track!! I'm sure you are so used to eating right that you didn't do as bad as you thought.

I hope your work situation calms down for you - hang in there!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Chris,

Glad that today is better for you. Like Amy said, we all have days like that. Just pick yourself up and start over the next day!

Hope you are having a great day!

Keep it up!

 

[Cruise04]

Thanks guys - I was really down and I felt fat and big and like I hadn't lost anything. I knew this day would come but I wasn't prepared for how it would affect me. Thanks for your support - it's been a rough couple of days.

Here is what I ate today:
breakfast
fruit and oatmeal bar

snack
cheese stick

lunch
6 ounces butt steak
3 ounces potato
2 TBSP brummel and brown
1 cup fat free frozen yogurt

snack
fat free yogurt

dinner
upside down pizza loaf

Here's my totals: 1411 cals, 59.1 fat grams, 124.8 carbs

I can't eat anymore tonight so I'm doing things to try to keep me busy. I got a compliment at work today. A staff member came in my office today and asked me, right up front, if I was losing weight. I said yess and she asked how much I've lost and I told her. She said she could really see it today. That felt good. I then told her about how down I had gotten (it helps to work in an office with a bunch of psychologists sometimes ) and she said that it's expected. Then we talked some about some of the other times I've lost weight and how I did it and where I'm at now compared to then. That felt really good. So hopefully I'm out of the rut. The bad thing though, is TOM comes tomorrow/Thursday. I wanted more off before then but I'll do with what I've done by now. I'm sitting here watching The Biggest Loser and this can be inspirational for me. We'll see.

Okay - so I finished HP the other night. And my original predictions to my family were correct. I changed them many times during reading the 5th book but I had predicted who would die when and then I changed my mind - many, many, many times. It was great.

Thanks again guys - I hope you all have a great rest of the week.
Keep on
Chris

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Chris! So sorry you had a down day yesterday but really glad you were feeling better today. TOM really wreaks havoc on our emotions, doesn't it? And just when we are already feeling down, we have to deal with the tremendous weight fluctuations that occur with it, too. UGH! Glad you got such a nice compliment at work. Funny how sometimes God sends just the little boost we need right when we need it most.

You are doing such a wonderful job. Enjoy what you have accomplished and keep going. It's hard when our goal isn't right around the corner, but the process can be such a great learning experience.

I am so glad you found some wonderful clothes at Dress Barn. It was great that you planned ahead and bought some tops to wear under the button downs with the expectation that not too far down the line you'll be buttoning those shirts up! Then they'll look great with a cute turtleneck under them, right? Enjoy the new clothes! It's one of the best parts of losing weight, even if we hate to spend the money.
Have a great night, sweetie!

 

[KimRaye]

Glad you got such a nice compliment at work. Funny how sometimes God sends just the little boost we need right when we need it most.

I couldn't agree more! These co-workers see you everyday, and are often like your own family, in that they don't SEE/notice the daily/weekly changes! Sad, but true. Sometimes, we ourselves, don't SEE ourselves without the help of pictures (in my own experience anyway), and even then I saw myself, but didn't acknowledge the 'gain/numbers'. Boy oh boy, do I SEE the loss tho! I'm embarrassed to say I've lost 78-80 lbs, but I know I shouldn't be! That took a lot of time and effort, and still does, everyday! Chris - you HAVE to be selfish...sorry, that's the bottom line. Care about yourself first and foremost. Think about it.

Don't get discouraged roomie - we took our time putting it on and keeping it on - the only successful way to keep it off is to do it right, and keep it that way!

I'm so happy for you! You're doing great! Can't wait to SEE you again, too! WHEN? (I hear "Chicago-area Fall DIS Meet" ringing in my ears! )

 

[KimRaye]

I finished HP the other night.

Good Book, huh?!

 

[lovinaz]

How great to get such a nice compliment! I'm glad to hear you are feeling better about things. You are doing such a wonderful job, keep it up!

 

[Cruise04]

I am so thankful to have you all in my life. This has been a really down time for me and you guys have helped to pick me back up - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. It's been a long time since I've gotten this down about things and it really hit me hard. You're encouragements have meant so much to me.

I got on the scale again today and I was up just a little bit. I did eat more last night and that was bad. I was still down a bit and turned to that emotional food again. But I'm done. I've stayed very much on track today:

breakfast - fruit and oatmeal bar; fat free yogurt

lunch - taco salad with lots of lettuce and no bowl, very little cheese, very little tomato, very little beans (but a little), and very little black olives - mainly meat and lettuce; apple slices with cream cheese dip (half of it)

snack - 9 carrots and light dip

Tonight for dinner will be lemon chicken breast, salad, and mushroom or chicken rice. I won't get much of a snack tonight since I have to work at the Habitat office but I might take a 100 cal pack. I have not been able to workout - Monday I was just too down I couldn't do much, last night Britt had me pick her up earlier than she anticipated and tonight I have to work. Tomorrow night I plan on working out - hopefully if all goes well. I'm not going to hit my exercise goal for this month but I'm okay with that. Last night I did run up and down the basement stairs very hard for about 10 minutes to get some kind of movement in.

I'm so excited for Saturday. Britt and I are going to an all day scrapbook crop - 9am to 9pm. It's something that our Rec Center Fitness Coordinator and one of her old friends put together twice a year. They get use of one of the Rec Center areas here on campus for the day. It's a great way to get lots done and I plan on it. I have to finish our 2003 Cruise/Vacation album and I plan on completing that on Sat. So I'm really excited for that. And I generally don't eat a lot when I'm scrapbooking but they will have some snacks and we can take our own so I will. And lots of water. And the good thing is we're in the track area so we can take walks around the track, which I plan on trying to do every couple of hours for a stretcher.

Okay - again, I'm so sorry that I haven't made it to journals in a while - I mean REALLY sorry. I hope you all are doing well. I care so much about how you are doing because you've all helped me so much. And if you live in the southern states again - I'm saying lots of prayers for you and your loved ones and friends.

Keep on
Chris

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Chris,

Just wanted to come by and give you a big hug!
I hope that things are going better today and you aren't feeling the pull of emotional eating, it is a monster that comes after us all!
The scrapbooking fest sounds wonderful on Saturday! I wish I lived nearby or I would totally come, my June Dis trip is still waiting to be 'booked.

I hope that you have a happy & healthy night!
Mike

 

[Strings]

Hi Chris,

I hope you have a fantastic and productive Sturday. The Scrapbooking day sounds like fun.

Take care,
BetH

 

[Cruise04]

Holding steady again this morning, no change in weight. TOM is here and that's a lot of it as I feel all bloated. Good thing this is hitting before the end of the month so I have a few days to still recoup what I gained and get it off. Still not able to go workout again tonight - too many directions I'm being pulled in and I'm starting to feel the sluggishness of not being able to workout. Next week will be better as homecoming will be done.

Ended up not having salad at dinner last night and had some fat free frozen yogurt for a snack and a Reese's peanut butter cup. By the time I got home I didn't have time to figure out my counts, I'll try to do that today.

Hope everyone has a good day.
Keep on
Chris

 

[lovinaz]

I know what you mean about the TOM woes. I can't believe I can go up a size the week before it hits! It really isn't fair, is it? But you know it will be gone soon, so hang in there!

Scrapbooking sounds fun! I have 4 pages for my DS9 and none for DD6. I'm such a slacker...

You are doing great getting out of the dumps and back on track. You will be back into your exercise groove in no time! We are here for you, hang in there! This too shall pass...

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi, Chris! Ugh, I completely know what you mean about TOM! TOM has decided to pay a visit to me this week as well and I feel lousy! Here's hoping you'll have a great weigh-in once TOM leaves!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

hi chris..
i hope you are having a GREAT day!!!!!
ehhh dont you hate the bloated feeling!!? its such a pain!!
hope you feel better soon!

 

[Cruise04]

9/23/05

Well I'm happy to report some news this morning - I lost 1.5 and I'm back down to 32 pounds off and 6 for the month. I was so happy this morning when I got on the scale. THEN I decided to wear jeans today - I haven't worn jeans in over 4 years. I bought a pair last spring and never wore them because they needed to be shortened. They were a size 32 and I donated them with the rest of my clothes. I had 2 other pair, donated another one and kept these. I thought they were a 28. I put them on and was like - COOL THEY FIT. And they do, just fit. They are a tad bit more tight than I like but they fit. And so when I was in the bathroom I looked at the tag, just to reassure myself that I am in a smaller size and I was surprise - they are actually a size 26!!!!! (I'm actually in a smaller size than that but with jeans I have to get about 3 sizes larger than what I normally wear in other pants). I was so excited!!!!

So anyway, that really beefed up my attitude. I really needed to see both of these today. I know I've been "bragging" somewhat of what I've been able to wear but since I've dealt with my weight since I was 11 this is major for me. A major life changing activity that I didn't think I'd ever be able to do again.

Thanks everyone - have a great day!
Keep on
Chris