Crazy neighbor kids...crazier neighbor mom :(

[Dawnlight]

Wow, I would hate to live in a neighborhood like that. We don't live close to each other (out in the country) but we don't care if a kid runs across the yard either or if a bunch are riding bikes on our long gravel driveway.

I am always interested in these different neighborhood cultures. Why does anyone care if a neighbor kid is on their grass? (not meaning the OP's neighbors. If a kid is causing trouble I could understand. But just a general kid)

I'd hate it, too, and thankfully our neighborhood isn't like that for the most part.

As far as grass, some people are obsessed about it! One of our neighbors is like this and he has 3 kids. They are very particular about people on their grass; they want it to stay lush and green, no patches caused by kids running repeatedly across the lawn. Me? I don't water our lawn, we've got weeds and bald spots, but my kids can play freely. I think that's more important that having a picture perfect lawn. I don't like when the neighbor kids or my own trample my flowers and generally speaking they are careful, but I don't restrict them from my yard because of it.

 

[bsblady01]

I would call the cops next time

 

[TAX GUY]

I'd hate it, too, and thankfully our neighborhood isn't like that for the most part.

As far as grass, some people are obsessed about it! One of our neighbors is like this and he has 3 kids. They are very particular about people on their grass; they want it to stay lush and green, no patches caused by kids running repeatedly across the lawn. Me? I don't water our lawn, we've got weeds and bald spots, but my kids can play freely. I think that's more important that having a picture perfect lawn. I don't like when the neighbor kids or my own trample my flowers and generally speaking they are careful, but I don't restrict them from my yard because of it.

I try to get that lush green grass and I must say, its not perfect BUT it's full, thick and green. I have no issues with kids playing on it. I do have slight heart palpitations when they bring their bike's onto it though.

 

[Wishing on a star]

We live in a rural area.
Plenty of space here.
But, yes, we have had neighbors who were picky about their property.. concerned with liability with kids, etc.
That is their right, and we respect that.

I am not sure why it might be just so bad to live in a neighborhood with such neighbors.

I would hate to live in a neighborhood where others felt entitled.

My son and his friend(S) were able to find plenty of spaces to play and run and ride bikes and be outdoors, without feeling that they were entitled to cross other residents property, and personal, boundaries.

Also, what the OP is experiencing is not just everyday playing and cutting across lawns, etc.
The other kids are taunting and bullying her children.
They are trespassing on what was basically a construction site. A possible danger and liabiiity issue.

My son might not have lived to see another day if he did such things!

 

[Laura66]

I would call the cops next time

For real? What are they going to do?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I think everyone has a right to maintain their "things" in whatever condition they like without having other people mess with them. Everyone has different priorities and places varying importance on things. My father would flip if you leaned against his car (because you might scratch it) or put hand prints on it. I think he's way over the top about something so meaningless. I've never even washed my cars; I let the rain take care of it. But, it's his car and he has the right to decide how he wants it maintained. People should respect that.

The same holds true for the neighbors with the pristine yard. It's important to them, they put in the money and effort to maintain it, and they shouldn't have to worry about other people causing damage to it just because those other people don't see the importance of some grass.

I certainly wouldn't take kindly to someone coming into my house and breaking things that they assume shouldn't hold any value to me. It's my property, how about you let me decide how it should be treated? Cars and yards are just an extension of that.

 

[aaarcher86]

I try to get that lush green grass and I must say, its not perfect BUT it's full, thick and green. I have no issues with kids playing on it. I do have slight heart palpitations when they bring their bike's onto it though.

This!

My favorite is when a kid rides onto the lawn and hops off while it's moving. The bike falls and the pedal tears a nice line into the grass!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I can't be the one of the few people here who aren't okay with random kids in my yard!
That was one of the first things my parents taught me when I was allowed to play outside alone. You don't play in people's yard(unless invited or are playing with the kids from that household) and you don't cut through people's yard. I'm not saying that I was an angel and 100% followed the rules, but now that I own my house I can see why I was taught that.

The only time I would call the cops was if they started messing with my stuff or one of the rocks hit my car. Those are the kinds of things that the non-emergency number is for.

 

[Dawnlight]

For real? What are they going to do?

Probably arrest the parents for neglect.

I think everyone has a right to maintain their "things" in whatever condition they like without having other people mess with them. Everyone has different priorities and places varying importance on things. My father would flip if you leaned against his car (because you might scratch it) or put hand prints on it. I think he's way over the top about something so meaningless. I've never even washed my cars; I let the rain take care of it. But, it's his car and he has the right to decide how he wants it maintained. People should respect that.

The same holds true for the neighbors with the pristine yard. It's important to them, they put in the money and effort to maintain it, and they shouldn't have to worry about other people causing damage to it just because those other people don't see the importance of some grass.

I certainly wouldn't take kindly to someone coming into my house and breaking things that they assume shouldn't hold any value to me. It's my property, how about you let me decide how it should be treated? Cars and yards are just an extension of that.

I get that and I teach that to my kids as well. What I find strange is that my neighbor who is grass-obsessed sends his kids to play in my yard (and others) instead of his own, but then is very particular about who he allows on his grass. He expects my kids to respect his boundaries, but doesn't enforce his own children to respect other's.

 

[luvsJack]

We live in a rural area.
Plenty of space here.
But, yes, we have had neighbors who were picky about their property.. concerned with liability with kids, etc.
That is their right, and we RESPECT that.

I am not sure why it might be just so bad to live in a neighborhood with such neighbors.

I would hate to live in a neighborhood where others felt entitled.

My son and his friend(S) were able to find plenty of spaces to play and run and ride bikes and be outdoors, without feeling that they were entitled to cross other residents property, and personal, boundaries.

Also, what the OP is experiencing is not just everyday playing and cutting across lawns, etc.
The other kids are taunting and bullying her children.
They are trespassing on what was basically a construction site. A possible danger and liabiiity issue.

My son might not have lived to see another day if he did such things!

No one said they wouldn't RESPECT someone's wishes to keep off the grass.

I have no intentions of getting on someone's grass that has an issue with it, I just don't get the hoopla about grass. Guess our neighbors don't care about grass either. Its grass, its green and its a pain to keep cut. I LIKE having that bald spot that served as home base for years. Or the bald spot in the back that was great for little camp fires to roast marshmallows or whatever.

The OP brought up the boundaries of not getting on someone's lawn and the rules from her neighborhood growing up. I think it sounds like a very restrictive neighborhood and I wouldn't like it.

 

[Dawnlight]

I would call the cops next time

Say what?

How about leaving police to deal with more important issues. Adults should be adults and handle it amongst themselves; police is a last resort, not first.

 

[luvsJack]

I think everyone has a right to maintain their "things" in whatever condition they like without having other people mess with them. Everyone has different priorities and places varying importance on things. My father would flip if you leaned against his car (because you might scratch it) or put hand prints on it. I think he's way over the top about something so meaningless. I've never even washed my cars; I let the rain take care of it. But, it's his car and he has the right to decide how he wants it maintained. People should respect that.

The same holds true for the neighbors with the pristine yard. It's important to them, they put in the money and effort to maintain it, and they shouldn't have to worry about other people causing damage to it just because those other people don't see the importance of some grass.

I certainly wouldn't take kindly to someone coming into my house and breaking things that they assume shouldn't hold any value to me. It's my property, how about you let me decide how it should be treated? Cars and yards are just an extension of that.

Oh, my. I never meant that the kids should just run around everyone's yards tearing them up regardless of how the person felt about it. I just know that I wouldn't like living somewhere with all the "stay off the grass" rules. No one has them here, so its ok, I have never dealt with it.

Now, if it was a flower garden or a vegetable garden, someone may have an issue but grass? Nope. It will grow back all too soon. LOL

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Probably arrest the parents for neglect.



I get that and I teach that to my kids as well. What I find strange is that my neighbor who is grass-obsessed sends his kids to play in my yard (and others) instead of his own, but then is very particular about who he allows on his grass. He expects my kids to respect his boundaries, but doesn't enforce his own children to respect other's.

Different rules apply to different households. It sounds like kids are allowed to play in your yard whereas, in his yard, they are not. Perhaps he allows kids to play with a ball in his house, but you wouldn't in yours. As the location changes, so do the rules.

If you're saying that he sends his kids over to use your yard when you have not invited them to, then you need to be vocal and put a stop to that if you don't want that happening. I find it only takes a few times of bursting out the front door in my underwear, fist shaking overhead, yelling, "Get off my lawn!" to get the point across.

 

[luvsJack]

Different rules apply to different households. It sounds like kids are allowed to play in your yard whereas, in his yard, they are not. Perhaps he allows kids to play with a ball in his house, but you wouldn't in yours. As the location changes, so do the rules.

If you're saying that he sends his kids over to use your yard when you have not invited them to, then you need to be vocal and put a stop to that if you don't want that happening. I find it only takes a few times of bursting out the front door in my underwear, fist shaking overhead, yelling, "Get off my lawn!" to get the point across.

LOL. Him sending his kids to play in her yard while he doesn't want them playing in his own, reminds me of my mom talking about the lady she was neighbors with in base housing. The lady would put her kids out of the house and LOCK the door, telling them to go over to our house so she could clean. Not sure what she thought Mom was doing.

Most people have whatever rules they have for their own place and that's fine, but telling your kids its ok at someone else's house while its not ok at their own is wrong. I find the more I hear about other's experiences in their neighbor hoods the more I know I am blessed that we live in the country and that most of our neighbors have always been similar to us in what is or isn't a rule for the kids.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey, LuvsJack...
That is all great!
But, this is not, and has not, really been about 'grass'.
It is about respect, trespassing, etc.

The thing is, you don't get to decide whether it is okay for somebody else to have boundaries, even it is 'just about grass'.

Hey, if that is the way somebody else happens to be, on their lawn/property. Then it isn't going to bother me enough to think negatively.
I would never complain because somebody else did not make me feel welcome/entitled.

There is an old saying, about boundaries.
Good fences make good neighbors...

Here is a story...
Where we live, in the rural south (like you), there are a lot of 'transplants' and retirees from 'up north'.
Up there, they don't even have to try... they are living in areas where there is nice soil, feet deep... they don't even have to try to have a nice lawn. It isn't like it is here with rock, dirt, red-clay, etc...

You should hear some of the comments here about 'the yankees, and their grass' (or exterior security lighting, or extra insulation that they are so concerned/obsessed about when they move here and build/buy a house!!!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

LOL. Him sending his kids to play in her yard while he doesn't want them playing in his own, reminds me of my mom talking about the lady she was neighbors with in base housing. The lady would put her kids out of the house and LOCK the door, telling them to go over to our house so she could clean. Not sure what she thought Mom was doing.

Most people have whatever rules they have for their own place and that's fine, but telling your kids its ok at someone else's house while its not ok at their own is wrong. I find the more I hear about other's experiences in their neighbor hoods the more I know I am blessed that we live in the country and that most of our neighbors have always been similar to us in what is or isn't a rule for the kids.

Well, there's a distinction between letting his kids play in Dawnlight's yard (because she allows children to play in her yard) vs. sending his kids to play in her yard when they haven't been invited to do so. The first is fine, the latter is not. I'm just not clear on which scenario applies here.

The bottom line is, I believe kids should respect the rules of the homeowner when they are on their property, even if those rules don't exist in their own home. On the flip side, those kids may be able to get away with some things at a friend's house that they would not be able to do at home, like play on the grass or bounce a ball in the house.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Say what?

How about leaving police to deal with more important issues. Adults should be adults and handle it amongst themselves; police is a last resort, not first.

Well there are non-emergency numbers, I just wouldn't count on a timely response (understandably so).

 

[luvsJack]

Hey, LuvsJack...
That is all great!
But, this is not, and has not, really been about 'grass'.
It is about respect, trespassing, etc.

The thing is, you don't get to decide whether it is okay for somebody else to have boundaries, even it is 'just about grass'.

Hey, if that is the way somebody else happens to be, on their lawn/property. Then it isn't going to bother me enough to think negatively.
I would never complain because somebody else did not make me feel welcome/entitled.

There is an old saying, about boundaries.
Good fences make good neighbors...

Here is a story...
Where we live, in the rural south (like you), there are a lot of 'transplants' and retirees from 'up north'.
Up there, they don't even have to try... they are living in areas where there is nice soil, feet deep... they don't even have to try to have a nice lawn. It isn't like it is here with rock, dirt, red-clay, etc...

You should hear some of the comments here about 'the yankees, and their grass' (or exterior security lighting, or extra insulation that they are so concerned/obsessed about when they move here and build/buy a house!!!

I only said I would not like living in a neighborhood like the op described about her childhood. I didn't say that I get to decide what their rules are. I didn't mean I would semd them to play wherever they darn well please. If we had a neighbor that cared, I would tell them to stay out of the yard. I wouldn't complain and I never had to worry about it anyway.

My niece's husband is from NOLA and never really had a big yard. When they first built their house he was very particular about the yard. The kids (their own and her sister's kids) had plenty of acreage to play on so no problem But his wife had enough and said "Dh! Calm down! Its GRASS!" And now they have a batting cage and a soccer goal set up and the kids love playing all over the huge yard.

Some people care. I get that. Their yard, their rules. I only said that it was something my kids never had to worry about when they were young and I am glad.

As for the Op's problem, I had already commented on that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The "Dad" she addressed it with was the father of another child. This mom is the mother of the other set of children. So the OP did not address it twice with the same family.

The first parent responded appropriately. The second parent did not. Is it any wonder her kids are horrible?

This.

Next time rocks are thrown, consider calling the police. If mom wants to neglect her darlings, maybe the police will make her reconsider.

Also--consider installing video surveillance. Seems extreme, but if these little angels are causing issues and she demands proof, video will be the only thing you have.

And before anyone jumps on me for being extreme. Kids or not--if those kids are being jerks to the point the are harrassing and opening up a situation for potential injury, she is getting nowhere with the mom. The kids will be kids line is crazy.

Throwing rocks at kids and taunting them for flinching sounds way behind kids will be kids.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No one said they wouldn't RESPECT someone's wishes to keep off the grass.

I have no intentions of getting on someone's grass that has an issue with it, I just don't get the hoopla about grass. Guess our neighbors don't care about grass either. Its grass, its green and its a pain to keep cut. I LIKE having that bald spot that served as home base for years. Or the bald spot in the back that was great for little camp fires to roast marshmallows or whatever.

The OP brought up the boundaries of not getting on someone's lawn and the rules from her neighborhood growing up. I think it sounds like a very restrictive neighborhood and I wouldn't like it.

I don't care much, but there are a couple of concerns.

With such small yards it is bizarre to look out your window and a random person is in the yard. Catches me off guard.

We have a sprinkler system. I would rather the heads not be broken. It might be a while before we notice and with what little we so use of the system, I would rather it not drown one part of the yard as it "floods" and have the rest dry out.

Our sue happy society concerns me. I don't want to be sued because someone's kid injured themselves with trespassing.

It isn't about being restrictive or not being neighborly or that I care more about my green grass. Just that it is my property and I should have the day as to how it is used. A lot of times, I won't mind. But certainly do not send your kids to my yard because you don't want your own yard messed up.