Crazy neighbor kids...crazier neighbor mom :(

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Say what?

How about leaving police to deal with more important issues. Adults should be adults and handle it amongst themselves; police is a last resort, not first.

Non-emergency numbers are for this reason. An officer will not report to this call at the expense of something more serious. We had something stolen out of our car recently. I called the non-emergency number. It wasn't a "big deal" in the grand scheme of police response calls. But the police can determine that and respond when they are able.

Also, for the OP- it seems there are a number of occurrences.

But no one suggested calling 911.

 

[chipsgirl1030]

Is your neighbor Rita Glossner?

Ha-Ha. You are so right. I knew that neighbor reminded me of someone but I couldn't think of who.

 

[Dawnlight]

Non-emergency numbers are for this reason. An officer will not report to this call at the expense of something more serious. We had something stolen out of our car recently. I called the non-emergency number. It wasn't a "big deal" in the grand scheme of police response calls. But the police can determine that and respond when they are able.

Also, for the OP- it seems there are a number of occurrences.

But no one suggested calling 911.

Emergency number or non-emergency number, this type of scenario does not call for police intervention at all. It's akin to calling because someone got their order wrong at a fast food place.

People need to be adults and handle it themselves. Calling police over some little neighborhood children spat? Really, that's what we've come to?

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm always amazed at the "kids will be kids" responses.

Then we wonder why kids are such screwballs. No discipline because "my little snowflake is perfect".

 

[NHdisneylover]

At the end of the day, kids openly cutting across or playing in neighborhood yards is something that is commonly enough accepted in our culture that I do not think it is reasonable to assume all neighborhood children automatically stay out of an unfenced yard, or to be angry at them for coming into your unfenced yard without you having made it clear (in a nice way) that you do not permit that. I think it is perfectly fine to not permit it, but in our culture assuming that kids will ask before the first time is just not going to work.

So, using the OP as an example--this child was in her backyard and she reacted angrily and yelled at him the first time. I understand that initially she thought an adult was there, but there is no indication at all that after seeing it was a child that she apologized for her outburst and explained kindly that she thought an adult was back there and was frightened and then followed that up with kindly but firmly telling the child that having people cross her yard when she is not expecting it bothers her and that he needs to always come to the front door and ask before going into the yard. If he kept coming in after that, especially after a couple of reminders, then talking to the mother calmly would make sense and if it kept up after that, maybe yelling at him or banning him all together.

(now, the exposed gas piping, etc might mean it was more critical to talk to the mother after that first incident to let her know there is a safety issue and she needs to be concerned--not in a blaming way though. In fact, I cannot imagine having an exposed gas pipe in an open yard without at least some temporary fencing or barrier up--that seems like a huge safety and liability issue to me).

I kind of feel like throwing rocks is the same kind of thing. No one was hurt and nothing was damaged. Be the adult, Go out and firmly inform the kids that they cannot throw rocks onto or at your property or family and that he is lucky no one and nothing was hurt--fixing the car would be costly and he and his family would be responsible for the repair. Maybe give Mom a heads up in a nice way, or if that never seems appropriate just don't mention it unless this kind of thing happens again.

Etc.

That is how kids grow and learn and neighbors get along. Jumping straight to yelling at the child and putting the other mother on the defensive pretty much starts everyone off on the wrong foot. Calling police because small rocks were thrown, once, by some neighborhood kids, and no one was injured and nothing was damaged (as some people suggest) is almost a guaranteed way to insure you will never get on decently with the neighbors and seems like a major overreaction.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Emergency number or non-emergency number, this type of scenario does not call for police intervention at all. It's akin to calling because someone got their order wrong at a fast food place.

People need to be adults and handle it themselves. Calling police over some little neighborhood children spat? Really, that's what we've come to?

We must be reading different threads.

I don't see how throwing large rocks, taunting children, and trespassing are tantamount to calling the police for McDonald's giving a filet o' fish in lieu of a Big Mac.

But you seem to be bothered by a legitimate suggestion. If you think I would call the police because my fries weren't super sized, I can't help you with that. But it you kid is throwing rocks at my kid and your response is that I am a ol' meanie-- the next time it happens, I'm happy to have the police talk to you about it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm always amazed at the "kids will be kids" responses.

Then we wonder why kids are such screwballs. No discipline because "my little snowflake is perfect".

Exactly!

 

[Dawnlight]

We must be reading different threads.

I don't see how throwing large rocks, taunting children, and trespassing are tantamount to calling the police for McDonald's giving a filet o' fish in lieu of a Big Mac.

But you seem to be bothered by a legitimate suggestion. If you think I would call the police because my fries weren't super sized, I can't help you with that. But it you kid is throwing rocks at my kid and your response is that I am a ol' meanie-- the next time it happens, I'm happy to have the police talk to you about it.

I guess we are reading different threads because the OP didn't say it happened again. She said it happened once and people responded with "call the police".

Taunting children does not equal a police call, I don't care how many times it happens. The rocks were not large. Trespassing, I can see an issue with, but I sure as heck wouldn't call the police on an 8 year old neighbor that was in my yard.

To each their own

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess we are reading different threads because the OP didn't say it happened again. She said it happened once and people responded with "call the police".

Taunting children does not equal a police call, I don't care how many times it happens. The rocks were not large. Trespassing, I can see an issue with, but I sure as heck wouldn't call the police on an 8 year old neighbor that was in my yard.

To each their own

Call NEXT time since mom didn't seem to give a rat's behind this time.

And you can rest easy. I have only called once and it was 911 because we found a very young child far away from her house and she couldn't speak English. Because of her age, we couldn't let her just roam the neighborhood.

Equating the suggestions to a wrong order is silly.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Emergency number or non-emergency number, this type of scenario does not call for police intervention at all. It's akin to calling because someone got their order wrong at a fast food place.

People need to be adults and handle it themselves. Calling police over some little neighborhood children spat? Really, that's what we've come to?

I would call for the rock incident. Not them being obnoxious. That is the biggest issue to me. If there is damage to property there needs to be a report made.(I know there wasn't this time.) The trespassing... I PROBABLY wouldn't call, but it would depend on what they were doing and how often. If people can't/won't control their children when it comes to other people's property then other steps can be taken.

ETA- And the size of the rocks is irrelevant to me because they can easily still break windows or windshields.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm always amazed at the "kids will be kids" responses.

Then we wonder why kids are such screwballs. No discipline because "my little snowflake is perfect".

There is a WHOLE lot of middle ground between not trying to correct the behaviour at all (which is what "kids will be kids" seems to indicate) and involving the police.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I would call for the rock incident. Not them being obnoxious. That is the biggest issue to me. If there is damage to property there needs to be a report made.(I know there wasn't this time.) The trespassing... I PROBABLY wouldn't call, but it would depend on what they were doing and how often. If people can't/won't control their children when it comes to other people's property then other steps can be taken.

ETA- And the size of the rocks is irrelevant to me because they can easily still break windows or windshields.

I am curious, if a neighbor'S child was throwing baseballs into your yard, nothing was damaged and a further incident did not take place, would you call police?
Baseballs break windows too. . .


We actually had an issue with baseballs hitting the house once. The new-ish neighbors across the street would get up a game in the street (small, quiet street, lots of them played in the road there; I always felt off about it, but it was how it was). After they broke out one of their own windows the parents told them no more baseballs in their yard so they turned everything 180 and batted into our yard.

I absolutely went out and told those kids (12-14 at the time, much older than the kid in the OP) that this was unacceptable and they could not now risk damaging our windows and that our DD (only one at the time) slept in the room with a window on the street and could also be really hurt if they put a ball through our window. I was firm but not yelling and took the time to explain why they couldn't do what they were doing, even though it ought to have been obvious to them based on the already broken windows (yes plural) in their own home, but I still did.

I think I had to say it 2 or 3 times before it stopped, and might have even informed them that any balls that touched my property would not be returned after that last time, but calling the police for kids playing stupidly when no one was in serious danger and nothing was damaged truly never crossed my mind. People were being stupid, thoughtless and annoying, not criminal and even in our tiny Wyoming town the police probably had much better ways to spend their time.

 

[Dawnlight]

There is a WHOLE lot of middle ground between not trying to correct the behaviour at all (which is what "kids will be kids" seems to indicate) and involving the police.

Exactly.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I am curious, if a neighbor'S child was throwing baseballs into your yard, nothing was damaged and a further incident did not take place, would you call police?
Baseballs break windows too. . .


We actually had an issue with baseballs hitting the house once. The new-ish neighbors across the street would get up a game in the street (small, quiet street, lots of them played in the road there; I always felt off about it, but it was how it was). After they broke out one of their own windows the parents told them no more baseballs in their yard so they turned everything 180 and batted into our yard.

I absolutely went out and told those kids (12-14 at the time, much older than the kid in the OP) that this was unacceptable and they could not now risk damaging our windows and that our DD (only one at the time) slept in the room with a window on the street and could also be really hurt if they put a ball through our window. I was firm but not yelling and took the time to explain why they couldn't do what they were doing, even though it ought to have been obvious to them based on the already broken windows (yes plural) in their own home, but I still did.

I think I had to say it 2 or 3 times before it stopped, and might have even informed them that any balls that touched my property would not be returned after that last time, but calling the police for kids playing stupidly when no one was in serious danger and nothing was damaged truly never crossed my mind. People were being stupid, thoughtless and annoying, not criminal and even in our tiny Wyoming town the police probably had much better ways to spend their time.

If they were PURPOSELY throwing them? Yes...

An accident? No The way to OP describes it makes it sound like they were being little butt heads and doing it on purpose.

 

[nugov2]

Just like the Dis makes me appreciate my family more, I now appreciate my neighbors more. Sorry OP, but you probably caused some of the issues by speaking to small children the way you did in the beginning of your relationship with this family . When you realized their age you should have IMO addressed your inappropriate behavior. Throwing rocks is wrong and needs to be addressed and the mom should acknowledge what they were doing even though she dislikes you, but some people don't behave like adults when they are upset. It actually seems like you and the neighbor you dislike have a lot in common. Neither one of you is behaving appropriately when upset.

Our neighborhood is very free range. Kids play basketball at our house, football across the yards of multiple houses. Everyone is very friendly and OK with it. Kids cut through my yard and I'm fine with it, but it is every neighbors right to ask for that not to happen and then that request should be respected, but you have to give respect to get it. I have a feeling this neighbor could easily post their own thread about the crazy neighbor who has a bad temper and swears and yells at kids in the neighborhood and people would be advising her to call the police on you LOL. I think you are both at fault.

 

[Dawnlight]

I am curious, if a neighbor'S child was throwing baseballs into your yard, nothing was damaged and a further incident did not take place, would you call police?
Baseballs break windows too. . .


We actually had an issue with baseballs hitting the house once. The new-ish neighbors across the street would get up a game in the street (small, quiet street, lots of them played in the road there; I always felt off about it, but it was how it was). After they broke out one of their own windows the parents told them no more baseballs in their yard so they turned everything 180 and batted into our yard.

I absolutely went out and told those kids (12-14 at the time, much older than the kid in the OP) that this was unacceptable and they could not now risk damaging our windows and that our DD (only one at the time) slept in the room with a window on the street and could also be really hurt if they put a ball through our window. I was firm but not yelling and took the time to explain why they couldn't do what they were doing, even though it ought to have been obvious to them based on the already broken windows (yes plural) in their own home, but I still did.

I think I had to say it 2 or 3 times before it stopped, and might have even informed them that any balls that touched my property would not be returned after that last time, but calling the police for kids playing stupidly when no one was in serious danger and nothing was damaged truly never crossed my mind. People were being stupid, thoughtless and annoying, not criminal and even in our tiny Wyoming town the police probably had much better ways to spend their time.

This is the way it should be handled. Yes, it may take telling a few times, but that's what an adult does; an adult doesn't call police for minor childhood neighbor issues.

How many parents need to tell their kids something 1000 times (or more) before they actually listen? It's amazing to me that parents expect other people's kids to listen the first time. I bet those that do expect that from other kids, would wish their neighbors extended a certain grace to their kids should they ever act like kids.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, in our case they were playing baseball--not trying to break windows, but they were well aware that they were too close to houses and could easily break windows (having broken two of their own in the first two weeks of the season) and they did purposely change the direction they played so stray balls would hit my house and not theirs.

I just can'T see involving police for a one time incident of some under 10 year old kids acting like "little butt heads" when no one was hurt and nothing damaged, and the likelihood of serious damage from a 5 small stones being thrown, apparently not aimed at anything other than a tree is not all that huge. Don't get me wrong, I would be annoyed and not want it to happen (DH'S car is his baby and it has not a scratch on it and stones flying near it would give him a near heart attack) but it just does not seem at all worth wasting the time of a police officer, nor does that reaction seem likely to help relations with that kid or any other neighbor, IMO.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Well, in our case they were playing baseball--not trying to break windows, but they were well aware that they were too close to houses and could easily break windows (having broken two of their own in the first two weeks of the season) and they did purposely change the direction they played so stray balls would hit my house and not theirs.

I just can'T see involving police for a one time incident of some under 10 year old kids acting like "little butt heads" when no one was hurt and nothing damaged, and the likelihood of serious damage from a 5 small stones being thrown, apparently not aimed at anything other than a tree is not all that huge. Don't get me wrong, I would be annoyed and not want it to happen (DH'S car is his baby and it has not a scratch on it and stones flying near it would give him a near heart attack) but it just does not seem at all worth wasting the time of a police officer, nor does that reaction seem likely to help relations with that kid or any other neighbor, IMO.

I can respect that opinion.

I'm not saying the OP should have called the cops in THIS situation, but if they continue to behave that way it will eventually cause damage and if their parents won't handle it then what is the OP supposed to do?

And the reason to call if there was damage to the car isn't to get the kid in trouble. It would be to make a report in the same way one would in a fender bender.

 

[Dizlvr]

I can't be the one of the few people here who aren't okay with random kids in my yard!
That was one of the first things my parents taught me when I was allowed to play outside alone. You don't play in people's yard(unless invited or are playing with the kids from that household) and you don't cut through people's yard. I'm not saying that I was an angel and 100% followed the rules, but now that I own my house I can see why I was taught that.

The only time I would call the cops was if they started messing with my stuff or one of the rocks hit my car. Those are the kinds of things that the non-emergency number is for.

No, you aren't the only one, its called having respect for other people's property. I was taught that growing up, and I've taught that to my own children. To me its common sense (and decency and courtesy) but we all know that not all parents have that.

I totally agree about when to involve the police. If what some kid (I don't care what age) is doing on purpose results in vandalism then its time to involve the police. That can be a real wake up call to the kid and their parents.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

No, you aren't the only one, its called having respect for other people's property. I was taught that growing up, and I've taught that to my own children. To me its common sense (and decency and courtesy) but we all know that not all parents have that.

It that.... Is that a pig in the sky??? Are we agreeing???