Courtney's attempt to recapture willpower; Comments welcome!

[cmsnyder77]

Hi everyone! I have lurked around here on the WISH board off and on for a while. Here's a little background on me ...

I am 29 yrs old, divorced mother to a 6yr old DD. I work full time as an RN on the weekends (Thurs-Fri-Sat 7pm-7am). Except for about 2 yrs of my life in my early 20's, I have never been what one would call "thin". I am 5'2", and my lowest weight was 118. At this weight, I wore a size 4 or 6. Prior to this, I was usually an 8/10. More "average", I guess you would say. It bothered me growing up because most teenage girls were skinny that I knew, but now I'd love to be that size again!

After having my DD, I ended up weighing about 152, and have fluctuated from a low of 142 to a high of 170 since then. I hit this alltime high at the end of 2005, and I was horrified! I knew I had to do something about it because if I continued to gain my health would be at risk. So, since January I have lost about 15 lbs. (it was 18, until we took a trip to Disney in June! )

So, anyway (sorry so longwinded), I have decided to get serious again. When I was really sticking with my diet at the beginning of this year, I was losing 2 lbs. nearly every week. Right now I am only maintaining, because I am not being careful with what I eat. Exercise has never been a problem for me. I exercise pretty intensely 4-6 days a week, but I somehow manage to eat enough to make up for the calories I burn!

My plan is to keep my calories down to 1500-1800 a day and try to watch carbs and sugar. I would not even attempt a super low carb diet, because I couldn't survive, but I need to wean myself off of "lowfat" snacks like granola bars, snack cakes, etc. These are one of my biggest problem areas, because I have a hard time eating just one. Another problem - not enough water intake. I don't know why, but for some reason this is a very difficult thing for me to do. I drink diet sodas all the time. For right now, though, I am going to try to concentrate on cutting portion sizes and unhealthy snacks, and worry about the water after I get the hang of the diet.

Right now my weight is probably between 154 and 156. Right now I would be thrilled to be under 140, but my ultimate goal is 125 (I wouldn't mind a little less than that!) My weigh-in day will be Wednesday, since the hours I work on the weekend cause my weight to fluctuate greatly and it seems to normalize by mid-week.

I love it when others post before and after pics. I think that is one of the greatest motivators to stick with a weight loss attempt. I hope that one day I can have some amazing pictures to post. However, I definitely am not going to post a current picture because it seems too disgusting to me right now, and very discouraging!

Good luck to all who are also in this journey!

 

[cmsnyder77]

Today was weigh-in day ... 155.

I was kind of disappointed that I wasn't down any more than that from where I've been, but this is the first week I've been really serious about the diet.

I did go off the diet some yesterday, because I went out with my boyfriend. As I mentioned, I have a 6 yr old DD, and I only get to go out every few months (maybe). Usually he just comes over to my house. So we went to see Pirates and had dinner. I ate light early in the day because I knew I wanted popcorn. So I had popcorn, then went to dinner. I think I ate a reasonable portion for dinner, and didn't feel stuffed. That is always a good feeling when you realize you were able to stop eating before you overate. I also resisted dessert. I'm sure there were still plenty of calories, though.

I've been to the gym Monday, Tuesday, and today this week. I almost always go Monday thru Thursday. I have an elliptical at home, which I try to do 1 or 2 days on the weekend, but it's tough since I work 12 hr shifts. I usually take classes at the gym. Mon and Wed are Body Pump, then I do treadmill walking/jogging for about 20 minutes. Tues/Thurs aerobics or step aerobics.

So far today I've eaten a banana and english muffin with 1 tbsp reduced fat p.b. I found some Thomas' light whole grain english muffins that have 8 gms of fiber! I thought that was really good. I plan on having a Lean Cuisine pizza or panini for lunch and maybe some light cottage cheese.

The initial few days of a diet are so hard! But from past experience I've learned that if I can make it through the first couple of weeks it becomes much easier & my appetite decreases. I can't wait for that time to come!

 

[cmsnyder77]

Still hanging in there ... had english muffin with reduced fat pb and yogurt for breakfast, went to gym and did 17 minutes elliptical and 1 hr aerobics class.

I am feeling really motivated right now to succeed. Of course, I have felt this way in the past and ended up going off the diet. I want this very badly, though. I know I can do it! One day at a time, then another, and another, and another and another .... (sigh)

 

[traceycooper]

welcome to the wish journals
Try & hold on to that motivation, the first weeks (or months in my case!!) are the hardest. You need time for your healthy eating habits to become a way of life, & if you fall off the wagon just get back on again!!!
Sounds like you are doing great with the exercise
With all the exercise make sure you are eating enough or your body will store the fat. Try listing breakfast, lunch & dinner on the journals so you can see everything it really helps me

 

[cmsnyder77]

Thanks for the advice. I have tried journaling (not online) in the past and give up quickly. I hope that I can stick with it.

I worked a 12 hr shift last night, as I will tonight and tomorrow night. That makes dieting very difficult, and messes with my metabolism (at least that's what I tell myself!) It ends up looking like I eat a lot switching between daytime eating and nighttime.

So, food for Thursday:

breakfast 9:00am english muffin with 1tbsp reduced fat pb, 1 light yogurt
lunch 12:00pm Lean Pocket, 1/2 cup light cottage cheese
dinner 6:00pm dinner at mom's - small serving stew beef, rice, veggies,
1 piece cake
at work: 10:00pm snack - 1 serving reduced fat Cheez-its
2:00am lunch - Lean Cuisine pizza, carrots c light ranch, banana
5:00am snack - Nature Valley granola bar
at home: breakfast 8:00 - 1/2 cup Fiber One cereal with skim milk

Then I went to bed, got up at 3:30, did 30 minutes on elliptical.

I am now preparing to get ready for work, will eat a small dinner before I go.

I am pleased with myself that I actually got up and exercised today. It is tough to do that sometimes because I am very tired from working all night.

I also feel that I did a good job controlling the snacking, which is my huge problem area. This entire week I have had very little chocolate, which is my ultimate temptation. I did put a bag of M&M's in the freezer and have eaten 10 of them a couple of different days this week. This is probably the least amount of chocolate I've ever eaten in a week!

Well, gotta go get ready!

 

[cmsnyder77]

Well, I haven't been posting for a few days. I don't really think posting every thing I eat is something I want to keep up with, so I'll just write overviews, I guess.

I think I have done well since restarting my diet (this is day#9). I have eaten a few things that are not "diet" food, but had very moderate portions of them. This has always been my problem area anyway - portion control. That and eating when I'm not hungry.

I am not too hungry ... I just have to get used to not being "full", because I know that the only way to cut back enough to actually lose weight is to be a little bit hungry.

Tomorrow is my official weigh-in day, but I can't help but get on the scale every day! We'll see what it says tomorrow, but it looks like I will be down about 2 pounds from last week. (Yah! Only have to do that 15 more times!)

 

[cmsnyder77]

Weight today = 152.4, so I'm going to call it a 2.5 lb weight loss!

I'm going to try to keep up this momentum, though I am aware that I will probably not be able to lose 2 lbs every week. Eventually, as my weight drops, so will the # of calories my body needs. We'll see, though. If I can stick it out, I may be pleasantly surprised!

 

[goldcupmom]

A belated WELCOME to Wish! It sounds like you're doing a GREAT job so far!

Have a wonder rest of the week and visit often... the support here is truly AMAZING!!

 

[DisDee]

Another belated welcome! The WISH boards are a great source of encoragement! Try to read some of the other journals, and you'll realize that you're not the only one battling the same problems. It's great to be a part of a like-minded group. Congrats on the weight loss and keep up the good work!!!!!!
Denise

 

[cmsnyder77]

Weight for today = 150.4, 2 lb. weight loss for this week!

For the most part, the diet has gotten easier, and I haven't had any trouble keeping up the pace with exercise. However, I had a tough night last night. I was having terrible cravings for brownies. I wanted to make some so badly. I resisted the urge, but I felt very ill. I can't let myself bake, because I am unable to control how much I eat. Of course, I just realized that I couldn't have made brownies anyway because I'm out of eggs!

I told my daughter that we would go somewhere special today because it will be our last full day together before she goes back to school. So we're going to Chuck E. Cheese's and probably to lunch somewhere else. (if I'm going to go out to eat, I'd rather have something better than Chuck E. Cheese pizza!) I'm really kind of dreading it, though. Even if I make a fairly healthy choice wherever we eat, I know I'll still eat more calories than I would at home. I know that I will be okay as long as I eat healthfully the rest of the week, but I'm so afraid I will fall off the wagon!

Well, just got back from the gym, have to hit the showers!

 

[cmsnyder77]

Wednesday's weigh-in = 148.8, a 1.6 pound weight loss.

Of course, I was slightly disappointed it wasn't "2" pounds. Being obsessive like I am, I weighed this am and I was at 148.2. But ... I told myself Wednesday would be my "official" weigh-in day and I am sticking to that.

I have been to the gym for my usual classes Monday thru Thursday this week, and feel really good. My appetite has stayed down, so that helps immensely in sticking to the diet. Here is a sample day (yesterday):

breakfast : toasted reduced fat pb & blackberry jelly sandwich.
lunch: Power Bar
dinner: spaghetti & meatballs (controlled serving) and cauliflower
snack: bowl of Cheerios, banana, 10 M&M's

As you can see, that was a pretty large snack! But I allow myself to have it if my total calories for the day are down. I estimate my calories for the day were 1600 (maybe slightly less).

The worst thing I did this week was go to On the Border ... had a few chips and salsa and 2 grilled chicken fajitas. Then, had a small blizzard from DQ. Bad, I know, but I figured it wouldn't totally derail the diet, just maybe keep me from losing that one day. Besides, I hadn't eaten much all day leading up to that meal.

Anyway, I'm pressing onward!

 

[traceycooper]

Well done on the weight loss
Sounds like you are doing all the right things & the exercise is great too!
Keep up the good work, you have to have a little treat now & then otherwise we just wouldnt be able to stick to it!!! Everything in moderation eh!