Could you dole out this punishment?

[C.Ann]

No - isolation can be extremely dangerous for ones mental health.. However, I would definitely come up with some sort of significant punishment for what you have described.. As best I could, I would try to tie the punishment to the crime - rather than just dishing out any old thing..

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Yes - but grounding in my house is not like grounding in most people's homes. My wife is very involved in local charities, and we have a lot of property - so the boy would become slave labor for the entire summer.

We have done this for weeks at a time for our boys. It works. They know that they will pay with sweat for improper behavior. They also know that I am perfectly happy working right next to them to keep them busy (no sitting indoors).

BTW, at 12 years old (the age of my oldest son), I would also consider a switching (even though I have not spanked in years). Children need to consider the consequences of their behavior, so punishment has to be severe for major indescretions.

Yes, we are tough parents, but our boys are the best behaved, and most considerate children that we know - and it isn't even close...

 

[HunnyPots]

Possibly. But it would not mean he was lying on his bed all day staring at the ceiling. He would be doing hard time at "mom's work camp"...

 

[mrsv98]

I wouldn't do grounding period, I don't think it works. I was an only child, I didn't need friends to entertain myself. I liked books. You try grounding a kid who likes to sit quietly by themselves and get a free education.

OMG, this is DD to a tee! Send her to her room? fine, she is perfectly happy playing on her own or reading for hours! Luckily she is a pretty good kid because we find it difficult to implement a punishment that "hurts". We save the biggie, no riding, for a really serious infraction, but haven't had to use it, only threaten it.

In terms of the original kid, I would have him perform restitution activities, i.e. cleaning up the vandalism, volunteer in the community and curtail his activities but I wouldn't totally ground him. I think he needs closer supervision and maybe getting busted at an early age is a good warning.

 

[HelenePA]

No. I'd have him/her out of the house as much as possible so I didn't kill them! They would be cleaning up their mess than doing a lot of community service hours.

 

[EthansMom]

I'm not a fan of grounding. But, I wouldn't want my child around any of those other kids (involved in the vandalism) for the summer.

Personally, I'd probably be looking for a little carrot and stick... say, you can't see these other kids because they're a bad influence, you have to make restitution for the vandalism, and we're signing you up for X activity that will expose you to some different kids and give you something to keep you busy.

 

[Mom2Nick]

As of right now I can say no but my kids are young and so far relatively well behaved. We shall see what happens as they get older though

One of my neighbors that is rasing a bunch of troublemakers has a child in a great deal of trouble right now. He is 15 and - on his own - went and stole a car to have some fun. He crashed into another car, took out some mail boxes and ended up knocking down a power pole which took our our electricity in the community for 10 hours. It happened to have been a really hot day and I lost everything in my fridge and freezer and I was NOT pleased - neither were some of the other neighbors and of course the owner of the car.

He was arrested. The parents had to sell their older son's car(who happens to actually be the only good one out of 5 boys) to pay for their attorney fees. He pled NOT GUILTY to it (He had to be extracted from the car by the fire department - he was not hurt but it's pretty obvious he was there and was the only one there - but alas he claims he is not guilty) and their court date is sometime in September.

Meanwhile the kid is roaming around the neighborhood freely wreaking havoc like he always does without consequence because his mom is a pansy. Riding his bike, tearing up lawns with his dirt bike, taunting little kids etc. The mom said she refuses to punish him for what he did because he will end up being punished anyway by the judge so she thinks taking away his summer would be "mean". IMO he's a perfect candidate for a child that needs to be locked up for the summer.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

As of right now I can say no but my kids are young and so far relatively well behaved. We shall see what happens as they get older though

One of my neighbors that is rasing a bunch of troublemakers has a child in a great deal of trouble right now. He is 15 and - on his own - went and stole a car to have some fun. He crashed into another car, took out some mail boxes and ended up knocking down a power pole which took our our electricity in the community for 10 hours. It happened to have been a really hot day and I lost everything in my fridge and freezer and I was NOT pleased - neither were some of the other neighbors and of course the owner of the car.

He was arrested. The parents had to sell their older son's car(who happens to actually be the only good one out of 5 boys) to pay for their attorney fees. He pled NOT GUILTY to it (He had to be extracted from the car by the fire department - he was not hurt but it's pretty obvious he was there and was the only one there - but alas he claims he is not guilty) and their court date is sometime in September.

Meanwhile the kid is roaming around the nieghborhood freely wreaking havoc like he always does without consequence because his mom is a pansy. Riding his bike, tearing up lawns with his dirt bike, taunting little kids etc. The mom said she refuses to punish him for what he did because he will end up being punished anyway by the judge so she thinks taking away his summer would be "mean". IMO he's a perfect candidate for a child that needs to be locked up for the summer.

Sad to say it, but it is probably too late for this kid. A prison cell awaits him, and his parents will be to blame. Then the "mean" treatment will come at the hands of fellow inmates. Hope they are proud...

 

[agnes!]

What happened with the local law enforcement? Were these kids brought up on charges in juvie?

Regardless of what 'the system' did I think I'd find a friendly local horse farm that needed stalls mucked out and the kid would work there for a month as his *job*, every weekday 9-5.
He'd also make restitution (either through working there or by giving up some $, maybe he'd have to sell something - some computer/Wii games, etc to pay for it) to the place that was vandalized.
He'd have to go in person to apologize to the people whose property he destroyed.

And I'd probably get a family therapist to teach us all how to deal and live with each other.

agnes!

 

[Stitchfans]

No. It would have to be something super major for me to dole out a punishment like that, and besides if they did something that bad chances are the authorities would be involved. It would be out of my hands.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Sad to say it, but it is probably too late for this kid. A prison cell awaits him, and his parents will be to blame. Then the "mean" treatment will come at the hands of fellow inmates. Hope they are proud...

The unfortunate part is he is boy #2 out of 5 boys. The oldest one is a REALLY good kid but his 4 little brothers are HORRIBLE.

The parents live by the motto of "Boys will be boys" and they actually think this is normal stuff for boys to do. They think it's normal for the boys to knock on people'd doors and run at 11 at night. (One of the kids is 8 why are they out that late??) They think it's normal for boys to shoot up an old lady's WHITE house with hot pink paint gun pellets. They also think it's normal for the police to be called on one of their kids on a regular basis.

The whole family could use some time in Juvie except for the oldest who somehow turned out ok despite his ignorant parents. I feel bad for him though because they sold his car to help pay for his brother's mistake. He paid for half of his car, his parents paid for the other half. He HAD a job he went to every day after school and was going to work all summer, is a straight A student and was saving up money for college. Now he has no job and his parents screwed him out of his half of his car.

 

[livie1205]

no,I do not think that because of this crime the kid will be a felon for life...or that he has mental problems.YES I would ground the kids for the summer!are you kidding?If the cops come to my door because of something stupid my kid does then grounded for the summer is the least of his worries! He would spend the summer reading and helping me in the yard.

 

[Disney Doll]

I can tell you what my parents would have done if I had ever vandalized something requiring police involvement. They would have made my life hell. I can guarantee you that I would have been doing manual labor from sunup till sundown because "if you have time to get into trouble, then you are not busy enough". They would have found things to keep me busy. Request to go somewhere or do something fun???? The response to that request would have been "Do you think your actions should allow you to do fun things this summer?". I would have heard about the shame I brought to the family.

It wouldn't have been pretty.

 

[mickeylove2]

My brothers had an incident like this when they were about 13 and 14 where the police brought them home when they were caught with other boys being stupid. My parents had the police officer put both of them through the ringer as if they were adults being arrested. They got handcuffed, thrown in the back of a police car, taken to the police station, finger printed, mug shot taken, shoe laces removed, belt taken, jacket taken and thrown in a holding cell. They got to make their phone call (at 2 am) and my parents went and picked them up when they woke up for work at 6 am. They really got a clear look at what happens when you break the law, they said it was the worst experience of their lives, and so far at 20 and 21 they have really not been in any other trouble. Of course they got grounded and had to pay for the damage they caused, but if you ask them- it was the night that they were treated like criminals that was the worst punishment.

 

[KitKat_Tink]

a few of my friends have been grounded all summer, for reasons they cannot say. I think its terrible and that some other punishment should be doled out. Of course I'm not a parent so I can't exactly say what but I think something along the lines of no computer for the summer or something would be better.

 

[sbell111]

If a kid has been behaving in such a way that a parent would even consider resorting to this... the child needs real help... Professional help. ...

Remember when parents were the 'professional help'?


Good times...

 

[livie1205]

Remember when parents were the 'professional help'?


Good times...

..you mean "just wait until your dad gets home!" ? lol yep I turned out great...not even a speeding ticket! WHY? Because I didnt want to face the parents afterward....my parents were and still are the VERY BEST and am NOT scarred because I was made to behave.

 

[alexandria674]

Let the punishment fit the crime.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I said depends. It would depend if this was a first offense for a normally pretty good kid. It would depend on how much the kid was already beating himself up for it (or not). It would depend on the kids' personality (some kids would use that time to reflect and really regret what they did. Others would ebcome depressed or so angry at parents they lose sight of their own responsibility for the punishment). Also depends if grounding is effective for teh child in general (I have on who is happy to curl up with a book--taking away her library card is a big deal and one who can entertain himself day dreaming for hours on end--he can be tricky) AND it depends on what you mean by grounding (confined to his room with no eletronics, confined to the hosue and yard, what?). I think it is possible that with the right personality of child this is a reasonable punishment for something big.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

Just reading this makes me cringe. My oldest is 10 and a good kid, she beats herself up over any poor behavior, I don't really have to punish her. I have to keep her from saying "I'm the worst kid ever." No, you're a good kid, you made a bad decision, do better next time. DS is also a good kid. After the two oldest, I'm gonna have my hands full, that's where the troublemaking begins. Still, I couldn't imagine grounding any of them for a whole summer. Punishment would be much more involved than simply grounding, and I don't think a punishment that is drug out is all that effective for children.