Our Ratings of Cosmic Ray's Starlight Café: (*Rev 10/9/2014*)
. . . food price value: C
. . . food quality: D
. . . food quantity per serving: B
. . . food prep speed: B
. . . food selection: C
. . . seating quantity: C
. . . seating comfort: C
. . . eatery atmosphere: C
. . . eatery convenience: B
. . . staff friendliness: C
. . . staff attentiveness: C
. . . character interaction: n/a
Our Recommendations:
. . . appys:... n/a
. . . entree:.. Cheese Steak, Turkey Wrap
. . . dessert:. Carrot Cake
NOTE1: Cosmic Ray is the second largest fast food eatery in the world, the real world.
It seats over 1,100 people. It has three separate ordering/serving stations for different
foods. It used to be the best fast food in WDW, but has slipped quite a bit in quality and
speed, and the "fixin's bar" for sandwich condiments has been greatly simplified as a cost
reduction. The new multi-grain buns fall apart in your hands, and the burger formula has
been changed. Not a good eatery; for Magic Kingdom, Pecos Bill's and Harbor House greatly
surpass Cosmic Ray's for quality, tastiness and price value. One favored aspect for kids
and adults is the performance by the audio animatronic "Sonny Eclipse" and his invisible
backup singers "The Space Angels" - a nice touch during meals.
NOTE2: Our Food Rankings at Cosmic Ray's, in Order from Good-to-Ouch:
. . . Cheese Steak Sandwich
. . . Turkey Bacon Wrap
. . . Rotisserie Chicken
. . . Grilled Chicken Sandwich
. . . Vegetable Burger/Wrap
. . . Chicken Breast Nuggets
. . . BBQ Rib Meal
. . . BBQ Pork Sandwich
. . . Cheeseburger, Single or Double (Due to new buns and meat recipe changes.)
. . . Hot Dog, All Varieties (Due to new buns and meat recipe changes.)
NOTE3: For each major food classification, one goes to a different ordering window/bay.
. . . Bay1 = Chicken
. . . Bay2 = Burgers
. . . Bay3 = Sandwiches, Soups, and Salads
NOTE4: Sonny Eclipse Factoids
Sonnys amazing Astro Organ keyboard has a mind of its own and will occasionally play
itself without anyones hands on the keys. Sonny purchased Astro second-hand; the pawn
shop records indicate it was previously owned by a blue Ortolan jizz-wailer named Max
Rebo, who claimed he sold it for a song (because once the Red Ball Jett organ came out,
the Astro Organ just wasnt in demand). Sonny Eclipses backup singers are the invisible
Space Angels, but no one is sure if they are a trio, a quartet, maybe even more (or less?)
The Space Angels first began singing with Sonny during a gig on the planet Mars, but the
girls planet of origin remains a mystery. Sonnys stage crew includes a technician named
Mike Feedback, who occasionally pulls double duty as Sonnys announcer. Sonny is believed
to be the cousin of Officer Zzzzyxxx from the Star Tours Spaceport in Tokyo. While Sonny
hails from Yew Nork City on the planet Zork, Officer Zzzzyxxxs employment records suggest
he originated in a region called Joo Nerzey on the same planet. Inhabitants of this world
call themselves Zorkies and their skin pigmentation can range from standard human fleshtones
to more colorful hues like blue or pink or polka dot and purple-green. During his act,
Sonny makes passing mention of various members of his family, including his six-eyed, twelve-
nostriled estranged wife (Luna), his parents (father Sola and mother Parsha), and his mother-
in-law (Tota Leigh Clipse), but he never mentions his cousin Officer Zzzzyxxx, the only other
member of the Zorkie race who currently resides on Earth. Some theorize that the two had a
falling-out over Sonnys childhood dream to pursue a musical career.
Sonnys play list includes eight songs: the auto-introductory "My Name is Sonny Eclipse";
an untitled ballad about the loveliness of Earth; the self-explanatory "Gravity Blues";
the 50s style doo-wop number "Hello Space Angels"; the spoonerism extravaganza "Yew Nork,
Yew Nork"; the jazzy "Starlight Soup and Salad", which is basically Cosmic Rays menu set
to music; the obligatory love song "O Bright Little Star", dedicated to Sonnys estranged
wife Luna; and an awesome little upbeat tour of our own solar system entitled "Planetary
Boogie". Sonny banters in true lounge-crooner style in between songs, and the whole act
repeats approximately every 25 minutes.
Even though two of Sonnys songs, "Gravity Blues" and "Planetary Boogie", might almost seem
to be educational, especially compared to Schoolhouse Rock classics like "Victim of Gravity"
and "Interplanet Janet", there are in fact only passing similarites. Sonnys offerings are
intended solely to entertain, and as a result, occasionally the songwriters have sacrificed
reliable facts in favor of better rhymes or more clever lyrics.
