Consulting job that requires constant travel

[macsmom09]

Here's my experience, both as a child and now as the spouse...

My dad traveled Monday-Friday about 9 months out of the year when I was growing up; most of it was in state travel for the utility company, but he always made sure he was home for the "big" events- school, sports, etc. He and my mom had their routine and honestly, I remember my mom getting antsy when it was close to spring and waiting for the travel to begin again- she was ready for him to be out of the house for a few days I don't feel like he missed much during the week, and I don't feel slighted that he traveled since he was there for the important things.

DH and I are currently living apart. He is 12 hours away at a school for his new federal job and has been there since October. DS and I have seen him 5 times since he's been gone, mostly 2-3 days at a time. He's there until May and then he moves to TX while we finish out the school year here and sell the house; DS and I aren't planning to move to TX until late July. Yes, it sucks, but we have our routine and honestly, when DH has been home, it takes some adjustment to that extra person in the routine. I'll be honest, it's been extremely hard on me, but most of that is the fact that we are moving at the end of all of this. DH was a police officer before this and worked from mid-afternoon to midnight, so many nights it was DS and I anyway. Plus, he's in the Army Reserves so we had some experience with 2-3 weeks apart; his one deployment was when DS was 2, so it was pretty easy overall.

It is nice to have that help with school, sick kid, etc, but this has proven to me that I'm strong enough to handle anything life can throw at me.

Best of luck with your decision, I know how much thought goes into it!

 

[Donaldswife]

My DH started a consulting job last year, and he leaves every Sunday night and comes home Thursday night. Really, it's not too bad for my and DD9. It is a lot harder on him! I am a very independent person though, and we have a great support network of family and friends that are very close by. If we didn't have that, I would not be able to handle it.

Only the two of you can decide if it is worth it or not. My DH gets 4 weeks paid vacation so that helps. Also, two or so weeks a year he gets to work from home so that makes it a little better. As a PP mentioned his company allows him to fly either home on weekends, or another city with similarly price airfare, or they will fly me to be with HIM on the weekend in the city he is working in. Lots of airline miles and Marriott points help with vacations. He doesn't always spend his per diem every day, and the job pays very, very well. There are drawbacks and advantages, but overall for us it has been pretty good.

 

[bettymae1121]

I have no personal experiance (DH traveled for work before we met) but I can say to make sure that if the company tells you "you'll be home on weekends more often than not" that they really mean it. Often times these things turn into "being away on the weekends more often than not" and by the time you find that out, it's too late to do anything about it.

One idea is that once your DH has some miles built up, you can see about using those miles so you all can fly out and spend the weekends with him on the trips where he can't be home on the weekends. You can spend time together and see new parts of the country all at the same time.

Also, think about investing in computers/web cams so that you can talk over the computer and see each other. If you have a laptop and wireless internet at home, you can even have your DH read them bedtime stories! Not the same as being there, but better than what we had with my dad when he traveled for work, which was one five minute phone call a day...

Only you can decide if your family can make it work. But there are families that do make it work all the time (think about military families with a parent who has been deployed, for example!) so it CAN be done successfuly.

 

[mom2brina]

I work for a big consulting firm and travel every week for work. While I don't have kids I work with a lot of people who do have kids.

Things to consider about work travel (whether you have kids or not)

• Will you have to take connecting flights if it is cheaper? Sounds minor but it adds hours to a commute and that sucks when trying to get home. My firm has the policy of lowest non-stop.
• What class of hotels are firm negotiated? Sure we all say we can stay at a Hampton Inn, but after weeks on the road you start to really appreciate a full service hotel.
• Does he need to go in the office on Fridays or can you work from home on Fridays?
• Will you have to fly out on Sunday night. Sundays are family day and I despise traveling on Sundays?
• Can you return on Thursday evening?
• Are miles and points yours to keep?
• Will you be required to share a rental car? Sharing is fine when you only do one or two biz trips a year, but week in and out you feel like you never leave your coworkers.

For those with kids

• Set up a routine with your kids, such as you always chat on the phone while they eat breakfast
• Have a nightly conference call via skype
• When you are traveling people are understanding about being away from family, so don't hesitate to call family from the office.

Great points here about the class of hotel and nonstop travel that I don't think he has considered.

One idea is that once your DH has some miles built up, you can see about using those miles so you all can fly out and spend the weekends with him on the trips where he can't be home on the weekends. You can spend time together and see new parts of the country all at the same time.

This would be nice!

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

DH consulted for 13 years, he just stopped in October. For us it was easy, he started before he met me so it was always "the way" in our household and when DD came along she didn't know any different. DH left at 3:30am on Monday and typically got home at 11pm on Thursdays. If he had to stay until Friday that was OK, but no way was he leaving on Sunday unless he had to go to Europe. He loved the travel perks (lifetime Platinum at Marriott) and we took a lot of amazing vacations for free (converted Marriott points to a Disney cruise!) For a while they had a rule if he didn't fly home- I could use his flight allowance- so right after we got married I would spend the weekend in his waterfront corporate condo in Puerto Rico!

Some things got frustrating for me- I learned real quick how to snowblow, when DD was born I never got a break, and when I herninated my disc he was in Europe for 2 weeks and I was bedridden with a 4 year old- thank goodness my parents live 10 miles away!

The only reason he left consulting was the right job came along when we least expected it- 30 min commute and growth potential. Unfortunately no big consulting bonuses anymore but after 13 years we had to get him off the road.

I think he is happy not traveling since DD is now 5- he can see her dance class, eat dinner with us every night and isn't living out of a suitcase. But... at his new job he is not as challenged as when he consulted and I could see him going back to it when DD is older.

 

[csharpwv]

I am the husband who travels very frequently for work.
My wife hates it.
She feels like she has to take care of the house, the pets, and we don't have kids - and if we didn't she'd have to take care of those.
I almost exclusively drive - and am typically 4-8 hours away from home.
The only months I don't travel are June, July, and August.
I travel September -May - and most times I am gone a week at a time - sometimes 2 weeks, longest yet was three weeks.

I agree with a previous poster that said to check into the 'rules' on travel and spending before accepting the position.

My first year on the road I stayed with Hampton Inns almost exclusively, and then I discovered the world of Hilton Garden Inn, Homewood Suites for longer trips, Embassy Suites, and Hilton hotels. While I have never once ordered room service - due to the service charge AND the 18% gratuity - i do grab dinner at the hotel some evenings when it has been a long day - and there just isn't much to do.

Also something to consider - will he be traveling alone - working in the same office every day during the day - or will it be someplace new every day.

There are so many variables - and yes - it is very tough. However- as another PP said - the economy is tough right now - and if it's a job with a decent salary - and has some promise for career advancement, you have to consider the options. It is very hard!

At this point, I am so tired of living out of a suitcase that I almost refuse to go on a vacation shorter than 7 days - and those 7 days had better not include a single hotel move that requires me to pack! HAHA

 

[plutolovr]

My DH has been a consultant for more than 10 years now and travels Monday through Friday weekly. My kids are all grown now, but when they were younger it wasn't too bad.

We do enjoy some of the perks. Air miles and hotel points. Just booked both of us round trip first class to Las Vegas in May and we're staying in Santa Monica, CA for my nephew's graduation from college on points. Something else I've been enjoying is when we do travel leisurely, my DH wants first class accomodations. He feels because he stays mainly at Hampton Inns and such that if we stay somewhere like that it doesn't feel like a vacation.

He travels about 48 weeks/yr. He's self-employed so we don't get paid vacations or holidays. I am also in the camp that when he's home for long periods I go crazy. It's just a lifestyle you have to get used to. My son is home now while he's trying to get his degree and I bought myself a dog a few years ago. The dog is better company right now. I don't work outside the home and enjoy being able to do what I want, when I want.

 

[thebeesknees]

DH worked as a traveling consultant a couple of years ago for about a year, and it just didn't work for us. The kids and I missed him too much. Also, I will echo what previous posters have said...we got into a routine without him, and when he came home, it would throw our routine off. I hated feeling like he was intruding in his own home, and I didn't want him to feel like we were all fine without him and he was an inconvenience when he was here. He finally found something else that did not require travel, and that has worked much better for us. It has taken a lot of pressure off of me making all the day-to-day decisions and handling everything alone. I didn't realize how much of a burden it was until he did'nt have to travel anymore.

 

[2disneyboys]

This is a question that you know the answer to in your heart.. only you and your DH know your family, your personalities, your support system and your responsibilities. I'll admit, my inital reaction was, hey, it's a job!, but on the other hand, if its' a job that does not meet the needs of the family, then it's not necessarly the right choice.

lots of things to consider both pros & cons previous posters have mentioned. I nor my dh have to travel regularly for work..so I can't speak from experience. I can say though, that my DH is very very handy around the house.. lots of things that he takes care of that most people I know have to hire someone to do. with that in mind, if the option for us ever arose, I'd have to take that into consideration, as I would have to hire someone to do a lot of the stuff that he does ( i of course could handle the regular maintenance type issues, but I'm talking bigger projects.) and I would hire someone because if DH was gone for more the bulk of the week/month, I would not want him spending his at home time doing these projects etc.

its a hard, and not easy choice you have to make here and you may get into it (one way or the other) and realise you made the wrong choice. just remember that you have to make the best decesion you can for your family and your future based on the information you have available to you now...

 

[crisi]

I grew up with a Dad who travelled three weeks a month.

It wasn't bad. We are still a fairly tight family. It can be hard if your kids are young - you are a single mom.

Here is the question, if he doesn't take this job, can you guys continue to hang on? You said he's been looking for a while, is he switching or currently unemployed? Are you working and is your income sufficient?

A friend of mine got laid off in the dot com bust and did the Mon-Thur consulting gig afterwards for about eighteen months. The money was good, the frequent flyer miles were great, and he jumped ship when something local was offered him. But without doing that, they wouldn't have been able to pay the mortgage - and it was 18 months before he was offered a local job. They chose the job rather than risking no job and a foreclosure - and it was a good decision for them - it wasn't easy, but it was the only way they managed to keep their house. It does make it more difficult to interview - but phone interviews will get you a long way.

 

[schin4]

DH travels for work, internationally, few times a year. Each time is abut 10-12 days. I commute 1hr 40 mins to work, daily. Our dds are 3 & 5. For me, reliable childcare is very important. I need my daycare to keep them till 6:30 until I get back from work. Then we rush home to make dinner, do homework,...etc. We don't live close to our families that can help.

The first time he travelled, I didn't think I could make it thru the week by myself. To my surprise, we did great, the 3 of us. Now when he is scheduled to leave, it's like he is going to work, just not come home at night.

The only affect to the kids, and we thought it was funny, was one wknd after DH came home from one of his travels, he was outside mowing the lawn. He was outside almost the entire day, DD3 asked me if Daddy went back to China (travel location at the time) again. lol.

 

[tlh0726]

At this point, I am so tired of living out of a suitcase that I almost refuse to go on a vacation shorter than 7 days - and those 7 days had better not include a single hotel move that requires me to pack! HAHA

DH has been at his job about 20 years.
After we had our 2nd child we purchased a used 1994 motorhome as a test unit for him to use while he was away.
The first year we had it, he was in Boston MA for the entire summer. The kids and I made the trip back and forth every other week.
That motorhome made a world of difference for him and to us.
He feels like he is at home "his space" once he leaves work.
About a year after that we upgraded to a Diesel pusher with bunks (awesome deal due to the RV industry troubles that year) and sold our old unit privately (twice as much as the dealer wanted to give us and still under bluebook value)
His work pays him the same rate as the hotel would charge even though he is paying less for a campsite (basically making the payments).
It has been a win/win for us.
Only thing he wishes is that he would have did this 15 years ago(sorta like what others say about DVC)

 

[micheleq]

We relocated six months ago for a new position for DH and his job requires fairly regular travel (this month will be ten nights away from home). In a prior company, he had to spend several weeks at a time overseas while our older daughter was two and I was pregnant - ugh.

For us, we knew about the travel going in and decided the move was well worth it. Financially, it was a no brainer as it was a large step up in compensation. Our move also meant that DH no longer had a daily commute to NYC which ate up almost three hours of his day. When he is home now, he sees our girls in the morning and is often home for dinner. Even though he may be gone 2-3 nights a week, when he is here, we have much more quality time as a family.

If you have a network of family & friends near you, I think that helps. I am very lucky that even though we moved away from our support system, we have quickly made good friends in our new home and I know I have a network of people I can call on for help if needed, and vice versa.

Good luck! If it's a short term sacrifice for a long term gain, then I'd say try and make the best of it. DH has a few colleagues that passed up opportunities because of travel/relocation and they are regretting it now.

 

[prncess674]

I am not sure if your DH is currently unemployed, but don't be so quick to accept the first offer. I work for one of the big consulting firms and we are hiring like gang busters and from what I know we are offering big $$$ to new hires and if we recruit someone we also get a big bonus. Our referral bonuses are between $5K and $12K! If he hasn't already accepted he should shop the offer around to other competitors just to make sure it is the best money he can get for the travel. Finding competent people willing to travel 4 days/3 nights a week is hard and we do pay handsomely for people to do that. If his offer is from a mid market firm, then definitely hit up the bigs first.

 

[PigletsPal2]

My DH is a consultant to the gov't, so all his travel is Orlando/Washington. He works 4 months and comes home for two weeks. Lather, rinse, repeat. He stays at an extended-stay hotel, and they give him the gov't rate. The hotel includes greakfast every day, and "Sundowner" (enough for dinner) Tu/W/Th. free laundry, a small gym, and the newspaper every day. It's a nice deduction on our taxes as he doesn's get per diem!

We have grown daughters, who live three blocks from us, and other than they miss him, they love when he's away because "Mommy can come out and play!" One or the other sleeps over here (sometimes both) to "babysit" me. (I have a slight medical condition and they don't want to leave me alone.)

Another benefit is the hotel rewards card: I gave my daughters six nights in Scotland, a week in London, a gotta-get-away night here in Kissimmee, and DD#2 is going to London for her birthday in two weeks, and I got her a great hotel.

I also got $600 worth of gift cards to use at Christmas last year.

DH likes the work, doesn't mind the travel and I go up every 4-5 weeks for a "conjugal" visit. The money is great and it works for all of us. Not sure how it would work for a family with children at home.

Queen Colleen

 

[bumbershoot]

I am the husband who travels very frequently for work.
My wife hates it.
She feels like she has to take care of the house, the pets, and we don't have kids - and if we didn't she'd have to take care of those.
I almost exclusively drive - and am typically 4-8 hours away from home.


At this point, I am so tired of living out of a suitcase that I almost refuse to go on a vacation shorter than 7 days - and those 7 days had better not include a single hotel move that requires me to pack! HAHA

If you're driving, can she go with you? Oh, she probably works, never mind! The one trip that DH took where he drove, we went with him. It was super-fun!

DH feels the same about vacation. He saved up 1.5 years of vacation for our first WDW trip...18 days! And he'll only have 9 months worth of vacation for our September trip, but it's still going to be a lengthy one.

He's not big into the split stays, but it's worth it, so as long as I'm packing most everything and coordinating it all, he's good with it. He just doesn't want to think about it.

He was outside almost the entire day, DD3 asked me if Daddy went back to China (travel location at the time) again. lol.

Awww.

DH has been doing this job since Oct '09 (Sept?) and it was really hard on DS at first, but now he's really blase about it all. And he's had some moments of confusion, especially since we don't always drive him to the airport anymore (he really doesn't want us taking him to the airport at 4am so he gets a shuttle for those flights)...he'll ask if papa is in Seattle or Peru, LOL.




The biggest benefit for me has been finding my STRONG self again. I didn't even realize that I'd lost my strength until he took this job! I'm so glad to find my power again. I was single (with the occasional boyfriend, none for over a year) for over 30 years and LOVED doing things on my own, but it just went away once I got married.

Of course the other benefit is employment. The layoff that resulted in his contracting for Microsoft which resulted in figuring out that contract work did NOT work for us, which resulted in his old employer calling him back to offer him THIS job...that layoff was our wakeup call for our idiocy. So it's been good on many levels.

My husband is one of the schmoopiest men alive; his goal in life was to be a husband and father, he left behind a profession he absolutely loved (being a sailor of just about any kind, even on oil tankers) because he knew he wanted to be WITH a family...but still, we've all survived and we're coming out stronger for it.


Oh, and the funniest side-effect of this? DH can finally pack his own suitcase! He never used to, I packed it for him when we'd go away. I'm SO glad that I can focus on packing the other things instead of wondering what he wants to take!

 

[amichaell]

I travel often for my job. I'm usually on the road Monday-Friday and I'm home every weekend. On the occasion my assignments aren't back-to-back I work from home, so that makes up for it a bit. I'd say out of two months I'm usually traveling for six to seven of those weeks.

It isn't easy missing out on time with my three year old, though the job pays really well, has good benefits, and other perks (rack up hotel points as an example). We also save quite a bit in that I'm no longer paying for lunch and gas (probably save $400/month in those expenses alone).

I make it a point to call home every night. We also have a webcam set up, so I can see my daughter when I have time to call in the evening.

 

[bumbershoot]

Oh, I forgot the piece of advice that I feel is very important!

If you live in a house, get an alarm system. We live in a condo that is secure in two different ways, I feel very safe here on a regular basis. There's just about no way to get in, and if someone did, they would be heard by multiple people before getting to any one door.

And yet, one night, I got SO scared that someone was moving around our place that I actually called 911. (they were so nice)

I realized that if we ever do rent or buy a house, I would feel so incredibly vulnerable, especially while big strong tae kwon do blackbelt hubby is away, that I would have to have a top of the line, useful, alarm system. DH agreed.

 

[3boymthr]

Hi, just out of curiousity, you mentioned your DH has been searching for a job for a while now. Is he currently employed? If not, is he collecting unemployment benefits? If he is collecting, he may be invalidating his eligibility for unemployment benefits if he turns down this position.

 

[mom2brina]

DH is not unemployed (thankfully!). He started searching when his currently employer decided to 'look into' outsourcing and knew that his time there was probably limited. We've actually been down this road before at his previous employer so he knew the signs. Since then, his current employer is in the process of 'merging' with another company that wants nothing to do with his skill set, but still needs him to stay on until the end of the year. A large retention bonus has just been dangled in front of him to stay on. But we know that at the end he won't have a job and could be less marketable.